Friday, November 13, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.



Island beach closures in Key West National Wildlife Refuge. Press Release_Key West National Wildlife Refuge closures_Nov2020

[No Phone or Internet] Utility workers were making repairs Nov. 12, 2020, after the sheriff’s office said a garbage truck’s crane collided with a utility pole, knocking out internet and cell service throughout the Keys from mile marker 86 to Key West from 8 AM – 11:30 AM. No 911 calls! No cellphone or land-line service. Link
[“Anti-Semites”] The anti-Semitic posts may be from our former next door neighbor in BPK, whom I tried to get restraining orders against as he tried to sink my new boat, cut down my 30 privacy trees, threw dead rats on my porch, etc. These are the dirtbags who harassed me for the entire time we lived there. His son is a code enforcer or a building inspector which lead to many fake code enforcement harassments.
Their other good friend, who poses as a Jesus freak, may also be sending in hate mail. They are all friends with the shark poachers who were indicted by grand jury in the last few years.
The anti-Semites bought a junk property up in the middle of Florida and their home lost half its value and blamed the Jews. They do not like Jews because many earn and keep their money and are not sitting in their garage drinking Busch beer at 7am.
[Benefits Of Covid Mask #3] No one recognizes you.


[Finding Property Line] Homeowners who often find themselves in the predicament of trying to find their property line markers in order to complete their DIY yard projects. It has also come to our attention how helpful a metal detector can be in this scenario. In this article, we include advice on the best metal detectors and accessories, other things to be mindful of such as house sewers and buried sprinklers, information on professional land surveyors, and more. Link

[Shooting Looters Okay] Now, this is what we call a hard corps Governor. Thank god someone has got some sense. Once a couple of looters bite the dust the word will get out that you will probably get killed if you loot in Florida. Link



How can 2020 get any worse? Candy makers!

[Leadership] We need a website with everything Covid—everything–the proper masks, statistics, deaths, new cases, contact tracing, vaccine info, etc. That’s how China controlled the virus, with a dynamic website.


The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club is holding its monthly Show and Shine event on Sunday, November 15, from noon to 3pm at the Sugarloaf Lodge, MM 17. This is a free event, and features classic, custom, sports and street rod automobiles of all years and makes.  This event features prizes and a plaque for Peoples’ Choice Award. Join the club for $25 and receive a club T-shirt and stickers. Social distancing and mask, bring a cooler, bring a chair and enjoy the shade on the grass. For more information, call Dick Moody 305-942-1758. Link

The DO NOT CALL works only sometimes. The only way is to sue the phone company for not sticking to the Block Sender deal. An alternative is to put in-coming calls on Hold which eats up their users time and money. You can also send Bruno and Guido over to the source to ‘fix things!’



Winning Halloween costume.

[Immigration] Ah, the wonder of driving Key West streets. If it’s not the Haitian Lyft driver talking on his phone while wondering where Truman Ave is, then it’s the Serbs driving the pedicabs with reckless abandon. You get in an accident, doesn’t matter if you were right and obeying the laws, your car is still in the shop for a month, while you have zero recourse on the idiot that came here for a better life.
[Leadership] We need a leader with good ideas, not just to inflame bad ideas and divide us.



I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

[Offshore Islands Closed] The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services will be closing Boca Grande, Woman Key and beaches the Marquesas Keys starting Friday, Nov. 13, and running through Monday, Nov. 16. The annual closures are meant to deter large crowds of powerboats that have come down for the annual November powerboat races.
Despite the races not being held, the refuge has still restricted access to those islands, which are part of the Key West National Wildlife Refuge. Is this continued closure (even though there’s no race this year) because they don’t want anyone to use the islands in the first place? or just lazy bureaucrats?
Tropical Storm Eta left a wake of felled trees, fences and signs along the Upper Keys, and added to the anxiety from a months-long pandemic and tumultuous election season. Eta made landfall in Lower Matecumbe Key at 11 p.m., Sunday, Nov. 9, with maximum sustained winds of 65 mph. Over water, there were peak wind gusts of 71 mph at Carysfort Reef Light.


Attention Walmart shoppers! Hurricane supplies are located next to the Christmas trees on aisle 8.

[Happy] I’m not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy, but so far, it’s not twenty seven.
[Friday Joke] Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so from now on I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.



[Selfies] In 2000 years, when archeologists dig up our ruins, they’ll discover a society weirdly obsessed with pictures of themselves and the softness of toilet paper. What is this obsession young girls, particularly, find in selfies? They seem to go places without seeing them. All they are interested in is taking more selfies.

[Stress] Sometimes I wonder which is more stressful: porn, war, gambling, crime, or starvation! I guess I’ll have to ask people in third world countries.
[Ironic Department] “dammit I’m mad” is “dammit I’m mad” spelled backwards.
[Plant Sale] Key West Tropical Forest & Botanical Garden will be offering native trees, shrubs, groundcovers and vines for sale from 9 a.m. to noon on Saturday, Nov. 21, and at any time by appointment. About 160 species of plants are available with an inventory totaling more than 2,100 plants that attract birds and butterflies in 1-to 10-gallon pots. Link


[Make America Rake Again] Did you see the Giuliani rally that was held at the Four Seasons Landscaping Co in Philly? between the crematorium and adult bookstore? The Landscaping Co are doing a big business in merchandise. T-shirts featuring Make America Rake Again, and Lawn & Order. I wonder if the other businesses are capitalizing on it.  What would the crematorium t-shirts say? Lots of good possibilities for both of them.

[Friday Joke] Day 12 without chocolate…lost hearing in my left eye.


Baby sea turtles are being washed back into shore due to heavy winds and currents from Hurricane Eta. The Marathon Turtle Hospital suggests taking time to walk the beach and scour the weed line for the babies. One green sea turtle hatchling was discovered in weeds mixed with debris Wednesday by the water’s edge on Coco Plum Beach in Marathon by James and Deborah Hall. If you see a sea turtle in distress in the Florida Keys, call the 24-hour stranding hot line at 305-481-7669.

[Offshore Islands Closed] They closed the beaches because of the powerboat races, but there are no powerboat races this year. Why not open them? I’ll tell you why. Because they don’t want anyone on their islands—ever; and this is just an excuse!



When we get old we are not going to sit around and do crossword puzzles. We’re going to click our Life Alert buttons to see how many hot firefighters show up!