2016 November

Friday, November 5, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

kiss-lips-puckerI used to think I was a nobody, but lately I have had phone messages from Barrack Obama, Trump, Jr., Bill Nelson, and a bunch of other politicians that I didn’t think knew I existed. Holly Raschien even left a note on my front gate saying “Sorry I missed you!” The weird thing is that up until now they would answer my letters with a generic form response like I was just a nobody. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even get that. But now I know they really care. What a warm, fuzzy feeling. I wonder how long we’ll be friends?
nira-tocco 700x175
[Stupid Policy] I called China Gardens in the Big Pine Shopping Center tonight for a pickup order. I explained I was just across the parking lot and did not need delivery. Tried to order my regular from them and they said they were very busy and when they are busy their minimum order was $15. I’ve never heard of that policy before so I tried to add an additional egg drop soup to the order that brought the cost up to $13. They said no. The order must be a minimum of $15 when they are busy. Well, guess what, they will be one customer short because I will never call them again.
deer-skull[Screwworm Treatment] We just spent the last two days in the Eden Pines area treating Key Deer. Tomorrow we move to the eastern side. Zone 3 includes No Name Key, Bogie Rd area, Doctors Arm, Tropical Bay and Palm Villa. Staging area opens tomorrow from 7 am -10 am at the east side of No Name Key Bridge (Bogie Channel). All trained volunteers are welcome. Anyone needing training is welcome to join Kristie at the afternoon session at 3:00 pm at the same staging area. Afternoon session runs from 2 pm-4:30pm this week for trained volunteers. Come on out and get some fresh air and help keep the Key Deer free from screwworm! Thanks everyone.

Today we had 21 volunteers and a total of 41 deer medicated – 13 males, 28 females. Awesome! Green ink was visible on deer treated in the area yesterday. Thanks to everyone who is helping. We also trained 7 new volunteers Tuesday.

If voting made a difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.  ~Mark Twain
[Homeless Sloan] I slept at the police station, where I was supposed to sleep, and am to continue doing that until that runs its course. An officer came in about 5:30 a.m. and told me to sit up, I could not sleep on that bench. He did not tell me to leave, just to sit up. I said Officer Tripp told me I could sleep here. We went through that 3 times, perhaps I was not speaking clearly the first two times, as he had woken me up. When I said it the third time, he said he would speak with Officer Tripp about it.

Apparently, news of my being allowed to sleep there was not broadcast to all KWPD officers, yet. Maybe it won’t be, and I have to take each challenge as it comes. If I bail, before I am ordered, for real, to not sleep there any more, I bail on the assignment the angels arranged, is how I see it.



Any government that places profit before people is pure evil. No more need be said.  ~Coconuts Bar and Package Store.

[FTR’s Zika Files] When I first heard the wailing and rage that a large American operation with ties to Britain had been spending money on a local PAC to influence the vote on the Key Haven Oxitec field trial, I yawned and said, “So what? This is America, free speech rules.” There is much more to the story.

An examination of public records reveals that a current Florida Keys Mosquito Control Board member and two candidates for the board have taken substantial sums of money from the local Citizens PAC.  The PAC is largely funded by the aforementioned heavy-hitting US/global organization. It’s pretty damned obvious that the out of town money, special interest money, was paid to influence how elected Monroe County officials vote on an issue of great local concern.

The current FKMCB commissioner that is taking the money is Steve Smith. He’s a 20-year incumbent who, over the course of many years, has voted in favor of the Oxitec project every time the issue came up for a vote. Smith wants back on the Board. That’s bad!

Now official records reveal that Commissioner Smith has accepted a large sum of money from a local PAC identified as Citizens For Safe Science.  Records reveal that Citizens For Safe Science is mostly funded by The Institute for Responsible Technology.  It is a global undertaking that spreads propaganda and training world wide in the pursuit of doing away with genetic engineering. It is a highly financed US based organization dedicated to the defeat of genetic engineering.  In turn it has offshoots in Britain and world wide.

Most of the funding for “Citizens” comes from the “The Institute”, the balance of the funding is provided by quadruple and triple digit donations from local real estate interests.  Remember it is real estate interests who have admitted that they oppose the field trial because they are convinced that it will hurt their property values.  Among real estate interests who are donors to the PAC are Ed Swift, Mila De Meir, Niles car sales, Beth Eliot, and Dina Schoneck. Ed Swift actually wrote a letter to the FKMCB furious that the Key Haven field trial might harm his property values. But he told them he doesn’t give a damn if the trial is held anywhere else so long as it is away from his neighborhood. Others involved in the Anti GMM group have admitted that they are of like mind.

There is a local PAC sponsored and funded by British firm Oxitec and its parent American company. That PAC has spent money on ads, and public outreach, but has not given one cent to any elected official or to any wannabe public official. Why? The simple reason is that it’s just wrong. The Anti GMM group, the Save Our Skeeter Squad, led by just a few very vocal persons, most involved in local real estate, have made the moral decision to give money to politicians in hope of influencing their vote. And our local politician has made the moral decision to accept the special interest money. You deserve to know which politicians have accepted the special interest money.

Public records reveal that current FKMCB member Steve Smith has accepted their money. It was a triple digit donation.  Smith is a 20-year incumbent who stills wants an additional term.  Commission candidates Norris-Watkins and Janet Wood, have also accepted large contributions from the Citizens PAC. All the special interest money has been delivered to the politicos in triple digit denominations. Is all of that okay with you?

I hope not. I hope that you will vote in favor of the Key Haven field trial on November 8th.  Do it for your health and the health of the unborn.  By the way, as this is written there are now 1,114 reported Zika cases in Florida.   An increase of 25 in just a few days and there is yet another new Zika case reported in Monroe.  That’s the second in just a few days.  Are you ready for the catastrophe that would engulf our community if (when) we have a full scale Zika outbreak?

I think people are more conscious of wasting electricity and water than people were just a few years ago. I know I don’t run the shower when I’m lathering up my hair or leave lights on in rooms that no one is in. I used to do that. It’s good that we’re thinking more global than just “me”.
honda-tailgateI like the new Honda pickup truck because it has a tailgate hinged like a car door, it swings left instead of down. When you open the tailgate there is a “trunk” built into the floor. For me, who uses a fair amount of fill, with the swinging tailgate, I won’t have to remove it any longer when I shovel fill or dirt
For those of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some big bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2017:
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!
9. Victoria’s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang
[Hourly Rate] I called a landscaper the other day and asked what his hourly rate was. His answer was, “It depends on what I have to do!” I asked what difference does it make what he did per hour? He said if it’s cutting grass it’s $20, if trimming trees, $30, and if designing it’s $50. I laughed out loud and asked if he did lawyer work on the side? then I hung up. Who the hell do you people think you are? $15 for burger flipping and an airplane mechanic only gets $10 more and with all that responsibility! It is all about the banks, mortgage holders, greedy landlords and merchants. Pirates now wear suits.


Is there a reason Blue Heron Park is now closed with padlocks and chains? It seems like it’s going to become an eyesore if it’s not maintained.

[Screwworm Theory] The Screwworm is nature’s way of controlling the deer population in our overcrowded refuge. Most victims are the bucks. With fewer bucks we will have fewer new deer. That might take the population back to where it’s sustainable for the size of the refuge. Crowd most any animal together and they start getting sick, fighting, acting weird and dying.
[Suicide Made Easy] Guys, when a woman is mad, just tell her she’s overreacting. She’ll realize you’re right and will calm right down. Oh, and whisper-ask if it’s “that time of the month.” She’ll immediately see how sensitive you are to her feelings.



[Computer Power User Digital Magazine] The November issue is here. Link

[Drug Reaction] Are you really psycho or is it just that antibiotic messing with your brain? Clarithromycin (Biaxin and Prevpac) has been prescribed for decades for common infections and FDA has allowed it to be kept a big secret that it can cause really serious temporary insanity that can land you in the psych ward or get you shot by cops. The Surgeon General has a health warning printed on your bottle of beer, but nothing on this stuff? I took it once for an ear infection, which may explain my supernatural powers. Link
[Sinkhole] I don’t watch the news shows on TV and wondered if I missed something when the Florida Director of PEER mentioned that the Mosaic sinkhole had not gotten much media attention. So I did an internet search. Holy wow! Hundreds of feet deep and so much acidic gypsum mine waste fell in that there is worry it will dissolve more limestone to enter the Floridian Aquifer and contaminate most of Florida’s drinking water.
DEP didn’t think it important enough to alert people on wells in the area for two weeks. So just what does DEP think is important enough to put down the doughnut? Read a Tampa news report at Link



[Math Challenged Tipper] Pretty impressive for the Keys, they left a 20% tip.

[Years With The Crow] In the night I heard the snorting of horses, which were tied near the lodge door. I crept softly out and looked carefully around. I then crawled, without the least noise, out of the lodge, and caught sight of an Indian, who I knew was there for no good purpose. He was using the utmost precaution; he had a sharp- pointed stick, with which he raised the leaves that lay in his way, so that his feet might not crush them, and thus alarm the inmates of the lodge. Every step brought him nearer to the animals, who, with necks curved and ears erect, gave an occasional snort at the approach of the Indian.
[“Hates Key deer”] Shame on the deer hater who identified our screw worm problem as a “blessing” and hopes the epidemic “eradicates” them so that the Big Pine speed limit can increase to 50 mph. What kind of monster are you?

[Discolored Headlights] With all the safety regulations pertaining to cars, how come they don’t insist on glass headlight lenses that stay clear? Some of these old lenses are so discolored that light barely shines through them.

Sung Kim the new U.S. ambassador to the Philippines took the oath of office for his new position in turbulent times. Outspoken Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte has been antagonistic to Washington over human rights criticisms. Duterte has forged closer ties with China — a blow to the Obama administration effort to forge deeper ties with Asia. He has declared his desire to scale back military engagements with the U.S. and has told President Barack Obama to “go to hell.”
[KidsFest] Key West locals who don’t enjoy FantasyFest should do something about it, at least for the kids and to stay sober. Can we have a weeklong fair during Fantasy Fest?
signs-man[Signs] Driving over Gilbert’s Bridge I was appalled to see all the political signs on the make shift barge below. This is not only tacky but fully takes away what the Florida Keys were meant to be. Put those signs on your front lawn. Could a private business advertise on a barge on the water with no legal ramifications from either the building department, FWC or some other three lettered agencies that are just as corrupt and over-paid by the tax payers? Unless maritime law permits this. Please cease and desist or I will start a business renting advertising space for all the bars down here. P.S I’m broke so it will take some time to raise some venture capital to start this business. Or I could do it like you and extort money via taxes. Get your signs, all signs, off our water. I can’t read and write that well, but I can tell when I’m getting screwed. Thank you, your measly servant tax payer.

Signs — Five Man Electric Band

I predict future happiness for Americans, if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.  ~Thomas Jefferson
[“Hates deer”] “The screwworm fly may prove to be a blessing if it eradicates the Key Deer and allows for the speed limit to increase to 50 mph on Big Pine Key.” If you have to drive 50 mph to be somewhere down here, you don’t belong here. The Deer do. The Keys’ laid-back, live-aboards, local seafood, One Human Family, chickens roaming free — it’s all eroding away before our eyes. Thanks to tourist development.
hammer and sycle[Communism] Your college professors that laud communism are lying. You are taking in like a sponge and not thinking for yourselves. The youngest, most internet proficient, most supposedly intelligent level of young minds are being corrupted. Your parents, grandparents, and those who have died to keep freedom for individuals and our country alive are reeling with shame from your attitudes.
As one who survived the Sixties. I know exactly how it feels to rebel against perceived stupidity and corporate money grubbers. but you are being willfully deceived. If you young adults do not wake up to the truth, then count on a civilization where drab and numb are the norm not the abnormal. Where you barely have food to eat or a roof of some kind over your heads or clothes not chosen by a shadowy governmental council. Where internet is nothing but the propaganda of that group and nothing is allowed to cross the waves unless authorized. Where every word you say, write, or whisper behind closed doors can get you thrown in prison.We simply cannot say any more to make you understand. Socialism and the doublespeak they rattle off is not an answer but a means to subjugate. Life as you know it where chatter about anything not allowed is eradicated. Where what you eat is determined by how well you follow the demands of an irrational few. Where acquiring work is determined by their ideas of what they want done. Their idea of what is acceptable and keep slaves of the regulated number of the masses. Vote wisely.
~Coconuts Bar & Package Store
Anyone getting TV through a dish having trouble getting FOX News? I understand it’s have difficulties the last few days.
[GM mosquitoes in the Everglades] Why would they bother doing that? There’s no reported cases of Zika there to be able to test the effectiveness of the trial. I live on Cudjoe Key, they are so welcome to do the trial here they can use my yard as a parking lot, I don’t care.  The risk on the GMO mosquitoes is so low compared to the nasty chemical alternative.


Thanks to the Key West city workers who so quickly turned the FantasyFest madness back into a clean Key West for everyone else. Great job! Thanks for all your hard work; it does not go unnoticed.

[Friday Joke] A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun…”I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says. This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?” The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?” The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?” The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
[Wrong Date] Deer Ed, you may want to update the header for today’s post.  It’s November 1 not 2. Although I really wish the days would fly by to get past this ugly election year (so thanks for your help to push it along!) (Ed: I thought it would help, but I guess not. I’ll go back and change it now.)


[Doorway] A magical device that erases your memory when you walk through it.

An investigation recently published in Scientific American told how easily the media is manipulated by the FDA. It’s done with an unofficial policy by the agency of “close-hold embargoes” that prevents reporters from telling the other side of the story. The arrangement is a quid pro quo in which certain reporters from selected news organizations (usually the biggest ones) are given the scoop on an official agency decision. But, in turn, they aren’t allowed to get comments from any other source – they can only parrot what FDA officials tell them. One science reporter (who’s also a university dean) said that turns supposed news reporters into nothing “other than a stenographer.”
750 foot sinkhole into aquifer at fertilizer plant and no one tells the neighbors! Link
geiger-keyThe Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce is pleased to partner with Geiger Key Marina to host a Chamber Business Social on Thursday, November 10 from 5:30-7pm.  This business networking opportunity includes appetizers, business card raffle drawings and a 50/50 drawing.  Everyone is welcome to attend.  LKCC members may make a donation. Non-members are $10/per person.  Come out an enjoy a beautiful sunset in one of the Lower Keys most enjoyable spots and chat with old friends and new ones!
chicken-eggI went out last night to a Halloween Party
dressed as a chicken
and met a stunning girl
dressed as an egg.
The evening went very well
and a lifelong question was answered.
It was the chicken.
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