Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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 [Smarts] Education and studying do not make one smarter. Unless you have the common sense to apply it – forget about it. Some well-educated people I have known thru the years have been given the title of “light house in the desert” – brilliant but useless. Give trade school a try instead, you can actually get a job after training. |
| [Friday Joke] Going by a nursing home last week I noticed 6 older ladies laying naked in the front yard so I stopped and ask to see the director. He explained that they were retired prostitutes having a yard sale. |
[Lingerie] Y’all can go broke buying sexy thins at Victoria’s Secrets, but these are the nightgowns that your Grandmother wore and had your grandfather making 10-12 babies and paying all the bills! |
| Can someone explain how raising interest rates with no end in sight is helping normal folk? |
 [Coastal Cleanup] Saturday Sep 17 from 9am – 12pm. Meet at Lower Keys Tackle, 29770 Overseas Hwy, Big Pine Key |
| [Unjust] I don’t own a farm, but I paid to bail them out. I’ve never used AIG, Citigroup, or Bear Stearns, but I paid to bail them out. I didn’t own a house in 2008, but I paid to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. |
 The AARP calendar of activities is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
| [Smash-And-Grab] Security camera captures chubby jewelry store clerk fighting back against smash-and-grab robbers. Video |
| What can dissolve calcium deposits on the spine? Nothing. Link |
 Please change the location of Aikido–a martial art. We now are located at the Big Pine Community Park, Mondays and Thursdays at 6:30 pm upstairs. 305-304-5100. Ongoing Events ~John Duke sensei |
| [Friday Joke] At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?” “Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.” “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?” “Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.” “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?” “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.” |
[Student Loans] I’m thrilled to have my taxes go toward anyone’s education because the fewer stupid motherf**kers the better! |
| Can invasive species ever be good? A new scoring system looks at the pros—and cons—of introduced wildlife to consider if they should be removed. Link |
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| [Friday Joke] A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.” The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife, “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?” “You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. “Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.” The husband climbed out of bed and counted, “One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right!” |
 Can you please update the Al-Anon listing? Marathon is no longer meeting. Big Pine Key is at 7pm The website for up to date info is FlKeysAlAnon.org Thanks! Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
| [Friday Joke] A State trooper pulled a car over on US 1 about 2 miles from the Key Deer crossover. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Key West to do a show and didn’t want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. The speeder told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him. While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from Stock Island got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, ‘You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain’t no way I can pass that test.” |
 I used to be a normal person. As an individual, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent, two-gender household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me “privileged”, a racist and responsible for slavery. Link |
| [Mustard Water] All these scientists and engineers working to get us back to the moon is great, but I wish they would at least devote a few minutes to eliminating mustard water when I forget to shake the bottle. I’m sure that would have an impact on millions of people. ~Sent in by everybody who has used mustard in a squirt bottle. |
 A monsoon on steroids has submerged a third of Pakistan. More than 1,000 people have died in devastating flooding. |
| [Worship] I have not seen an increase in religiosity here. Perhaps the opposite? |
 [Taxation without representation] How can the County double the valuation of our rental property? What has changed in the world that the valuation more than doubled? The house isn’t worth the ¾ of a million dollars they now say it’s worth. I think they couldn’t raise the millage rate so they just re-appraised all income property |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] ] People are stupid. Why? because they fall for the mind-bending BS the press, TV and radio sticks into their weak little minds. Don’t you people realize you are being had by the junta and they will make this planet a two-class system of slaves and rulers, or is it that way already? |
[Sting Like A Bee] Man, 20, wakes from coma after being stung by African killer bees 20,000 TIMES – swallowing thirty of them – when he sliced open their hive while trimming a lemon tree. Link |
| [?] Impossible is not French – impossible n’est pas français. Nothing online is real anymore! ha |
Police arrest black pastor for watering neighbors’ flowers. Video |
| [Friday Joke] I asked my wife what women really want? She said, “a tent of lovers.” Or perhaps it was attentive lovers? I wasn’t really listening. |
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| Published at 9:35 |