2014 April

Monday, April 14, 2014

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002
No Saturday Edition

an mars5


[Lunar Eclipse] Don’t freak out about tonight’s enormous, blood-red moon. It’s a total lunar eclipse where the Earth’s shadow covers the moon. Video

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The two giants of the electric guitar are Les Paul, for inventing it, and Jimi Hendrix for inventing a new way to play that no one had ever thought of previously. Les Paul broke his elbow where it would never be useful again so he had the doctor set his arm in a bent position where he could still play. Video

I figured out why every local you meet tells you how long he’s lived here in his first breath. I think it’s because he can’t believe it took him so long to move here.

[Marathon Journal] Marathon’s proposed Charter changes came from the committee charged with the review. Marilyn Tempest was a member of this committee. While the committee voted for seats won at an at large election, Tempest spoke to the council against such a move. The result of non-seat at large city elections produces skewed results and chases away people who want to run for city council. The biggest problem with the current election method is bullet voting. If you have three seats up for election, a voter could vote just for one instead of three. That is bullet voting.

The other recommendation that is important is charter enforcement. The Journal urges Marathon City Council to accept the charter committee’s recommendations and send those changes requiring voter approval to Marathon’s electors.

Marathon is a success at its fifteenth year. Why is there no annual celebration? O, well, things fall through the cracks at the boat deck. Marathon has its wastewater/stormwater systems done sooner and cheaper. All the roads have been repaved. There is the Community Park, Jesse Hobbs Park, Oceanfront Park, Rotary Park, Sombrero Beach, Coco Plum Beach, and more. Jesse Hobbs Park recently got new restrooms, and the basketball court got repainted.

The city’s beautification program has made a big difference in the way the city is perceived by tourists and other visitors. Now is not the time to slow this process down or stop it altogether. Beautification is a constant and concerted effort requiring vigilance and money.

Marlin Bay rises from the ashes on the backs of former Gulfstream Trailer Park residents. The promise of eight affordable housing units should not be swept aside in the mad dash for development. Middle income families need affordable home ownership. The Middle Keys Community Land Trust has land, but needs help with building affordable homes. The Journal wonders if the Middle Keys Community Land Trust and Habitat for Humanity could not join forces with local government help to build more units for rent and for home ownership.

Let us hope that the new Marlin Bay building program brings about an improved Marathon local economy. Other developments coming online will heat up the local economy even more. Marathon’s future looks bright indeed. Voters need to vote for city council candidates who embrace actions improving Marathon at all levels. The next fifteen years for Marathon will be exciting for residents and tourists alike.



[“Co2 in atmosphere 40%”] What the…? It is .039% of the atmosphere. Decimal points matter.  Is this satire again or is there something seriously wrong with me and/or some CT commenters?

[Hate Speech] “Holy nuts” Don’t worry, the holy roller religinuts aren’t welcome here. We’ll run them out just like the Jersey Large Marges!
Microwave Oven. Magic Chef 1.6 cu ft, 10 power levels, 1100 watts, 3 preprogrammed one-touch cooking menus, 5 auto cook menus, 3 auto-defrost settings, stainless steel, very good condition,$50. Classified Ads > Household
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[The vandenberg14Vandenberg] There’s been some mention on the grinder pump issue complaining about sinking ships,  maybe the complainers missed the front page article on Saturday April 12th, here is a short excerpt: “Reef Environmental Education Foundation (REEF) documented a total of 129 different fish species and one species of sea turtle at the site, according to a 2011 survey. REEF started monitoring fish populations shortly the artificial reef was deployed.  The wreck, which is six miles off Key West, has attracted more than just fish and coral, according to a National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) economist’s study released in 2011. The report states the Vandenberg generated $7.3 million through tourism, $3.2 million in local income, and created 105 new jobs in the first 12 months after its sinking. The Vandenberg also generated $239,649 in local sales tax revenue, and $378,920 in state sales taxes in its first year, NOAA economist Bob Leeworthy stated in his report. The increased revenue came at a time when the national economy was down 12 percent”

[Junk Food] The Chicago School District had to be sued under the Freedom of Information Act just to see what they were feeding our children in the school cafeteria. It turns out the school’s chicken “mcnuggets”  contained 28 ingredients before the breading was applied.
[Orchestras] I’m surprised that with so many old people in Florida there aren’t more orchestras playing the music of our youth.


Call me Mister CraftCan’t Remember A F**king Thing!

[“Jesus never had sex with a ten year old boy”] How the hell can you make a stupid statement like this? You do not even know if JC actually existed or is pure bible story. No matter what religion or cult people belong to there are always sick introverts [perverts] who will do bad to kids or women or gays or whoever. Most of the world sees adulthood at purperty [puberty], not at some P.C. age. You dreamers will carry your crosses until this earth goes to hell. Grow up and get real.
As long as you don’t choose–everything remains possible.
scissors running14
[The Movies] Every time you see a pair of scissors lying on a table in a movie, you know someone’s going to get stabbed. How about in a movie emergency when they always drop or fumble with the keys trying to open the door. Or the lighter won’t light and they can’t light the fuse? We already know about the brand new car not starting and the cell phone having no reception.
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In a followup to Palm Sunday’s religious CT, I’ll bet that there is a Latino somewhere named Jesus Horeno Christo or Jesus H. Crist.
[Illegals] Although President Obama supports setting a path to citizenship for many illegal immigrants, his administration deported a record 1.5 million of them in his first term. Link


It seems Big Pine is home to more musicians per capita than any other Key. I myself am one and it figured in strongly in my decision to move here. I’ve met at least a dozen other musicians who live here just in the last few weeks (only recently moved in) just by chance and many more at “open mikes”. And almost all live in BPK. I feel right at home. Having said that, there never seem to be any ads in the CT musicians classified–go figure.

When a politician has been in office for a long time, he builds up a debt to the money people who put him there. When he says that he wants to retire but his friends want him to run, watch out. You know who those friends are. If this sounds familiar, look up the announcement made by our incumbent grinder pump and white elephant bridge loving commissioner.
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webster14[Noah-come-lately] On this date, April 14,1828 Noah Webster copyrighted the first edition of his dictionary, 56 years after the first dictionary of popular english words, The Oxford English Dictionary, was published (February 1, 1884).

Also on April 14:
In 1860 the first pony express rider reached his destination of San Francisco. He left St. Joseph, Mo., on April 3.
In 1865 Abraham Lincoln was assassinated when sitting in John Wilke’s booth.
In 1912 Titanic hit the iceberg that would sink her the next morning.
In 2002 Hugo Chávez returned as president of Venezuela after being forced out of office two days previously.

Important local birthdays of note are funny man Dan Schwab, pretty mail lady Lynn Newman and Deer Ed.




This is why I have caller ID!

[“Police Chief’s Sunday Editorial”] Donnie Lee’s criticism of The Citizen editorial is laughable.  His officers have “suffered aspersions that sully their reputations in this community”  What reputation?  The reputation of harrassing the homeless?  The reputation of looking the other way when tourists break laws?  The reputation of showing favoritism to the “elite”.   Maybe Donnie Lee should disguise himself and spend some time watching his “storm troopers” in action.  Spend a week at Higgs Beach,  Bayview Park, Mallory Square, and Duval St. and anywhere else the homeless spend their time.

He claims that because there have only been two complaints in 2013 that HIS department does not have a problem with the use of force.  Does he really think a homeless person will file a complaint?  They all know it’s a waste of time to do so.  Hatman is a perfect example of what happens when you butt heads with KWPD.  You accomplished that mission KWPD, Hatman finally left town.

He then goes on to say after FDLE finishes their investigation, KWPD will investigate themselves.  We all know how that will turn out.  He also wants the community and the community newspaper to withhold their conclusions.  All that’s needed to form a conclusion is to watch the video, posted by The Blue Paper.  

In defense of Donnie Lee, I’m sure he is only “following orders”  So were the Nazi war criminals.

[“Crooks”] I suppose the hackers want in on the tens of millions of dollars Deer Ed realizes from the CT? That has to be it!

pee boy squirt14

Why is the sea level rising world-wide if there is no global warming? I am sure Ed can make up one for this phenomena. (Ed: I accept your challenge. It is because of boaters peeing in the water.)

[Gun Nuts] “No gun permits for hurricane evacuees.” Just what the situation calls for, a bunch of stressed out, pistol packing hurricane evacuees ready and willing to try and shoot their way out of here.  Or back in, maybe.
Ed, is this a cognitive test of some kind? I can’t see 3 or so letters on the right hand side of the page. Maybe you fixed it already as I always read it a day late. Thanks for the new format. (Ed: I can’t figure it out yet. I need a new job!)
[Watch Dog] I’ll bet no one goes over and shakes him to awaken him.
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If the constitution is there to protect us from the lawmakers,  it is not working because some of them are slipping through some dangerously ridiculous gun laws on us.

[Bad Guy?] I just wanted to let the great folks at Big Pine know they are getting taken advantage of. There has been so fundraisers at All Keys Gas and Sunday at Coconuts for Steve Boyett. This guy is a swindler. He owes thousands of dollars from people he ripped off. He just bought a new vehicle with your kind generosities. Wait, it gets better.He and his wife Marie have been evicted multiple times for not paying rent. Here’s the biggie: He was arrested in December 2013 for grand theft. He is now out on bail. He is charged with a felony. Also he can no longer work in the Keys as a code enforcement lien has been placed on him for fraud. All of this info on this crook can be found on Monroe County Sheriff’s and code enforcement website and Clerk of Courts public information.

I believe the good people should know who they are supporting.

There are people on this planet who should not be here
[Who To Sue?] I was told the grinder pumps have a lid that is above ground. If someone injures themselves on this lid (trips and falls) who is liable? It seems to me that if I have to sign over an easement FKAA should be liable.
How much does the auto train plus the car cost? Lorton is only 1-1/2 hours from home here.



CO2 in our air isn’t 40%, more like .040%

The first step in religion is admitting other people have a problem.
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irs-14The initials for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) have come to have a new meaning to me; and now more than ever before: “Irrevocable Repeated Screwings” (or Stealings – your choice).

And as for our Monroe County BOCC, who, as of January 31, 2014, refused to discuss grinder pump conversion to gravity sewer systems ever again, on that issue their initials also took on a new meaning: “Monroe Blowers Of Citizens’ Cash” sure works for me.

As a 25-year LTK home owner who goes by “Den”, I thank you for supporting Dump The Pumps. And please, know and remember this: Whether or not Banks Prevatt of Dump The Pumps, Inc. gets a sewage grinder pump jammed in his front yard or not, he will continue to fight for every property owner (currently around 1300 in our Lower Keys) who does not want an E-1 pump on his or her property until all is said and done. We couldn’t have a better man with more integrity than Banks on our side.

[Threat] I was told there were a few people who are getting gravity sewers in Jolly Roger Estates starting a petition against those from Pump the Pumps. If this is true be careful. Making enemies close by could turn very bad especially if you leave your house for the summer.
In the Keys people run the county government. People bleed. If they bleed we can–you know the rest![?]
[“Are we returning to the June Cleaver model of the 1950’s American housewife where she is confined to the kitchen wearing a nice apron and a string of pearls around her neck?””] Women were never confined to the kitchen. They were also allowed in the bedroom.
(Ed: National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.)
Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil. I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here
from the right

AN IRATE CRITIC WROTE: “Oh jeez FTR. The uncanny and obvious whitewashing of fact you pull is hysterical. I can and do admit that the civil rights act was strongly opposed by the democrats 50 YEARS ago. Those dems are DEAD and rotting in graves. Those views died with that generation. TODAY is where we live FTR, today the gop is the party and view holders of denying citizens of civil rights and dignity. BUT, can you  actually admit that here and now? Without the ‘but, additionally,because, ect’! Can you admit that the bush administration lied to the American public? Can you publically admit that the nixon administration ruled by “thuggery”?.. my point very clearly to you is that you are JUST as big a whiny nitwit and idiot as those you accuse on the left because your behavior is identical. When you can actually truthfully admit the same faults,scams,dishonesty,thuggery and political bullshit practiced by your beloved gop, maybe then will you be taken seriously. Trust me when I say I was a long time republican.. I saw what goes on..I was an attendee to the 1980 gop convention..just admit ftr, that there are NO honest parties OR politicians. Even the ‘religious’ political idiots are not honest nor honorable. Politics is the practice of human lowlife behavior. When you can ‘honestly’ admit what I just stated is true,, then and only then will most honorable people even give you the time of day.

Oh, and don’t state you post everything if you admit you didnt. Its called lying.  Signed,  Gunny E  USMC (ret)”

FTR’s RESPONSE: First of all, thank you for your service Gunny. I have great respect for the dedication and courage of our Marines. I have friends and family members who are proud to have served as Marines.

Gunny, there are some things we can agree on. First: Nixon’s admin was rife with thuggish behavior. Second: The rabid Democrat opposition to the 1964 civil rights act was a long time ago.

But the Democrat opposition to civil rights in 1964 was not unique to that time. Then, it was only the latest manifestation of the deeply held belief  by Democrats that Black’s and Women were unworthy of full citizenship. History is replete with examples of Democrat suppression of Women’s rights and minority rights.

It was also a long time ago when Republican President Eisenhower signed civil rights legislation in 1957 and 1960, the first since our Civil War, to protect voting rights.   It was Republican President Eisenhower who implemented desegregation of the armed forces. Eisenhower also federalized the Arkansas National Guard and used them to force desegregation of the Little RockHigh School against the segregation in put in place by Democrat governance of Arkansas.

The freeing of the slaves by Republican President Lincoln was also a very long time ago. As was the civil war that cost hundreds of thousands of lives to ensure the civil rights of all Americans.

Even though all of that was a long time ago, it created the world in which we now live. It is a world which is devoid of governmental/institutional racism.

Does racism exist in the hearts of some? Yes, Republicans and Democrats alike. The entire point is that the Republican Party has a better record on civil rights than does the Democrat Party.

Gunny, I’ve posted the entirety of your e-mail, spelling errors, typing errors, and grammatical errors intact. Your posting clearly reveals that you are a political misanthrope. You tell us that all politicians, Democrat and Republican alike, are unworthy of trust, that they all are low-life types who are dishonest. You must live in a very lonely place.

Gunny, you’ve accused the Republicans of systematically “denying citizens of civil rights and dignity.”  I disagree, there is no evidence to support your charge. If you have evidence, show us. The only thing that the Republican Party is seeking is that ONLY American citizens be permitted to vote. We demand an honest vote.  The Democrats are doing all in their power to stop that from happening. Why? Voter fraud tends to benefit Democrats disproportionately, and the false claim of Republican repression resonates in certain segments of the Democrat base.

The link is an excellent essay on the topic. Link

One more thing: Gunny, the Marines that I am proud to know, consider silly third grade name calling beneath the dignity of a Marine.

National Politics. Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil.  I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here