2014 August

Monday, August 18, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

[Comcast Sucks] I work on having a good attitude, about everything. It’s difficult at best to keep that in place when it come to Comcast & the service I pay for. My phone, TV & Internet are all Comcast. I’m sure they charge us the same rate as they do the rest of America. I’m also sure there service in the lower Keys is terrible, 2 nd rate, in need of a overhaul. When the time comes that I can put up a dish that will handle my TV, phone & internet I will have it.
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This backup camera is the best thing since sliced bread for connecting the truck to the trailer. It makes a frustrating task child’s play.
[“Homeless ex-renter”] I read all the information from the link, and the unfortunate man’s original post. If he had been there for that many years, his lease was almost certainly finished up years ago, with everyone simply agreeing to the status quo. With our sewer increases each and every one of anyone’s apartments, and even efficiency rentals’ water bill runs as much as your 3+ bathroom house. So a landlord, trying to keep things reasonable, raises his rents to almost cover the costs now associated with each individual unit. On top of that, it takes months, a lawyer, and a court order to evict someone who doesn’t bother to pay his rent – and the landlord is required to keep paying for the non payer’s utilities during that period. It’s no wonder rents in the Keys are high! I’m sorry his retirement hasn’t kept up with the increases in the costs, but don’t assume that it’s all the landlord’s fault. It’s not only renters who have been forced to move north due to the exigent circumstances in the Keys.
While taxpayers have paid over $3 billion on National Marine Fisheries Service programs since the Magnuson–Stevens Fishery Conservation and Management Act’s inception, ultimately the fishing industry is most affected by the act’s design flaws and incomplete implementation.
silver-vine18[Silver Vine] Millions of North American and European cat owners buy, and even grow, catnip for their cats as the animals find the plant very attractive. When exposed to crushed fresh or dry catnip leaves, cats typically become very interested in the substance and active for 5-15 minutes before they become fatigued of the scent. Catnip isn’t the only plant that is a feline attractant, however, cats are also attracted to (and enjoy rubbing against and chewing on) other plants like Valerian and Tartarian honeysuckle.

Neither catnip nor these other plants can hold a candle to the allure of Silver Vine (Actinidia Polygama), a climbing vine native to Japan and China. The plant, which derives its name from the way its leaves turn a whitish silver color, is a powerful feline attractant that puts cats into a euphoric state that lasts around 30 minutes. Although hardly known outside of Asia, it’s the most popular cat treat in the region. While not indigenous to regions outside of China and Japan, it is cold hardy to -22F and can be grown nearly anywhere, much to the delight of cats across the world.

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[Homeless Forum] These feel-good forums are useless and the participants know it. But it looks good on their resumes. There’s nothing that can be done about homeless people. The only thing you can do is harass them and keep them moving and not let your city get a reputation as homeless friendly. That a town is homeless friendly spreads all over through the ‘bum grapevine’
Bullying can be a good thing. It gets children used to dealing with the federal government.
[Muslims] Isn’t it weird that in America our flag and our culture offend so many people, but our benefits don’t?
Mangrove swamps
are beautiful unless your Kayak gets a hole in it or you run out of gas and have to sit there over night! The mosquitoes and noseeums will drain you. Bone island is not just in KW!
[Debt Ceiling Explained] I love it when a complicated situation can be explained in such simple terms.
Democrats don’t understand the debt ceiling
Republicans don’t understand the debt ceiling
Independents don’t understand the debt ceiling
No one understands the debt ceilingSo allow me to explain. Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in your neighborhood. Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings. What do you think you should do — raise the ceiling or pump out the shit?
Your choice is coming in November.
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This is a mole rat. So if you’re having a bad day, just remember that you could look like a penis with teeth.
[Sewers] I see more agenda driven deceit in the local news. We read about all the infiltration of seawater into vacuum sewer collection systems because of leaking vacuum pits while officials claim that grinder pump systems will not have that problem. Duh, really? It is a nearly identical pit that is installed in both systems and it is installed in the same manner, often by the same contractors. Both pits are about the same size, of about the same depth, made of the same cheap plastic, with a neoprene grommet to seal where the pipes enter. If vacuum pits leak, so will grinder pits, for all the same reasons.

There is no vacuum in a vacuum pit until the valve opens, and the valve normally only opens for maybe 3 seconds, so do not imagine that it is sitting there sucking water in. The big difference is that if a vacuum pit needs replacement, they dig up the shoulder of the road, while if a grinder pit needs replacement they dig up your yard again, with a bigger hole this time.

With a vacuum system, everyone connects with a gravity connection to the street. There are no “winners and losers”. With a vacuum system, sewer service continues normally when the power goes out. Nobody on a vacuum system has to surrender property rights. Nobody on a vacuum system needs to rewire their house to connect to sewer. Vacuum is far from perfect, but it is far better than grinder pumps. It is a cheaper system to install, cheaper to maintain, is the most environmentally friendly, and far more people friendly. Just Dump the Pumps and quit the phony promotions of grinders- the world’s worst central sewer system! Gravity rules, but only conventional gravity, not gravity that is designed around E-One residential grinder pumps like the masquerade in the Cudjoe Regional. Everyone but the grinder pump salesman loses with this system.

Why does the City of Key West hire staff to study proposals just to soundly dismiss all of their recommendations? Why hire reputable, highly paid consultants and not follow any of their recommendations? Sure looks like the good old boys network to me. Time after time Mark Rossi has voted his personal will in spite of the public’s preference and interest. Example — the channel referendum. He was the only commissioner to vote against putting teeth into the channel referendum (requiring a super majority vs. a simple majority to prevent the channel-widening issue from coming back up again) even though 74 percent of the voters supported it. His vote for the cruise line industry showed a total lack of respect for the voters.

Another example — the trash contract. Rossi led the move to continue with Waste Management even though it cost taxpayers more money. Is this what he and Greg Sullivan of Waste Management were discussing at the Yacht Club just days before the vote? And now we get the bill — $37.23/household increase for trash. Approximately a 12 percent increase! Another unnecessary fee to be paid by taxpayers. Shame on all the commissioners who voted for Waste Management. All of the Waste Management supporters were wrong.

It’s time for our elected officials at all levels to start working for and be accountable to the people who elected them, or “we the people” need to vote them out. In the meantime, please send your trash bills to Mark Rossi.

Bacon mug filled with cheddar cheese
. The question is, how do you eat it?
[Muslims] Everyone’s talking about ISIS and their blazing takeover of the Mideast than the world, but nobody has even one suggestion how to stop them. We’ve thrown everything we have at them for eleven years and they’re only getting stronger. So if sending bombs and bullets doesn’t work–what will?
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milton18[Milton Berle’s Thingy] In 1947, Milton Berle founded the Friars Club of Beverly Hills at the old Savoy Hotel on Sunset Boulevard. Other founding members included Jimmy Durante, George Jessel, Robert Taylor, and Bing Crosby. In 1961, the club moved to Beverly Hills. The club is a private show business club famous for its celebrity members and roasts, where a member is mocked by his club friends in good fun.

Unlike many of his peers, Berle’s offstage lifestyle did not include drugs or drinking, but did include cigars, a “who’s who” list of beautiful women, and a lifelong addiction to gambling, primarily horse racing. Some felt his obsession with “the ponies” was responsible for Berle never amassing the wealth or business success of others in his position.

Berle was famous within show business for the rumored size of his penis. Phil Silvers once told a story about standing next to Berle at a urinal, glancing down, and quipping, “You’d better feed that thing, or it’s liable to turn on you!” In the short story ‘A Beautiful Child’, Truman Capote wrote Marilyn Monroe as saying: “Christ! Everybody says Milton Berle has the biggest schlong in Hollywood.” At a memorial service for Berle at the New York Friars’ Club, Freddie Roman solemnly announced, “On May 1st and May 2nd, his penis will be buried.” Radio shock jock Howard Stern also barraged Berle with an endless array of penis questions when the comedian appeared on Stern’s morning talk show on Aug 5, 1988 (Berle was also a guest on the Stern show on Oct 30, 1996). In Berle’s 1988 appearance, when fielding phone calls, Stern purposely asked his producer to only air callers whose questions dealt with Berle’s penis. In his autobiography, Berle tells of a man who accosted him in a steam bath and challenged him to compare sizes, leading a bystander to remark, “go ahead, Milton, just take out enough to win”. Berle attributed this line to comedian Jackie Gleason and said: “It was maybe the funniest spontaneous line I ever heard”..

Every time George Neugent is up for election I always recall how he gave away a public road with an unpaved boat ramp on Little Torch to a friend who owned the only house on the road. Neugent included it on the BOCC agenda in a “bulk approval” item that included things like contract renewals for the supply of paper towels and such, so it saw no discussion. My friend used to take her two old arthritic dogs down to that ramp so they could easily walk into the water and swim, but she lost access after the road was given away and closed. She told me about it so I read the individual items on the BOCC agenda to verify. Sure enough, I found it buried in the middle of routine approval stuff so nobody would notice. When I worked for the County, people were always trying to get the ends of roads abandoned to them so that they would own the water frontage and could bar people from access. I used to fight that because it was often common access for residents of the street to go down and watch the sunset or launch their kayak. George really pulled one off giving this guy the whole damn road. This was back in about 2000 but I will never forget it as an example of shady government. I have voted for his opponent ever since.
Cudjoe Key treatment plant.
Why is it being hidden by a moat mound? Is it that unsafe or ugly? What else is going on there?
[Iraq] I watched all the Sunday morning pundits mulling over the Mideast and no one had any good ideas how to stop them. That’s what’s so scary about Muslims–they can’t and won’t be stopped. I’m scared for our future.
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If the police do something to you and you did nothing illegal, can you sue them? If yes, why are no posts telling the public what happened to the poster in such situations?
[“Outback Visibility”] I was at Outback Steakhouse last night. The visibility was awesome; young Miami girls in barely any clothes all over the place. And the steak was great as well as the blooming onion!
Jimi Hendrix Live at Woodstock
1969. Video. (Ed: If I’m late publishing today it is the fault of the person who sent this Hendrix video. I had to watch the whole damn thing.)
[“On top of the statue”]  Yesterday’s video of the guy on top of the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio made my testiculars shrivel.  I’m not really afraid of heights, but that guy has some massive cajones.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
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Before and after.
Have you noticed that every week when FTR Guy has his tirade against Obama and Democrats for doing, or not doing, something. He never has a plan of his own, I mean he doesn’t even say what the Republicans would do in whatever situation he is ranting about. The closest FTR Guy has come to this was last Friday when he was going on about immigration from Central America. It was “The answer is crystal clear: Republican governance.” And that means doing what?
Lizzi Borden gave her mother 18 whacks in the face with her ax and only gave her father 11, also in the face. She was acquitted of all charges.
[Voyeurs] In 1864 over fifty thousand people gathered to watch a public execution in London.
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mouse ball[Mouse balls and mouse ball inspector] I don’t know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.

“If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.  Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.  Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.”

I use Amazon Prime’s free movies less and less because they don’t have ratings and without being able to rate a movie I don’t remember what I’ve watched because I watch a lot.
Happy Monday From Springer’s Bar and Grill. Today’s Special is . It’s Mexican Monday so why not join us for this fiesta for your tummy.
Monday special: steak tostadas
Tuesday special: $10.00 2 topping pizza
Wednesday special: shrimp étouffée
Thursday special: chicken salad
Friday special: fish and chips
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s Always Something Special at Springer’s
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sink cruise shipAs for the cruise ship referendum and its smashing defeat and the aftermath from that, it has been my position all along that anyone on the City Commission who does substantial business with cruise ship passengers who visit Key West, has a conflict of interest and should not participate in any discussion concerning cruise ships calling on Key West, nor vote on any cruise ship items before the City Commission. City Commissioner Mark Rossi’s Duval Street businesses cater to many cruise ship passengers. City Commissioner Jimmy Weekley’s family business Faustos, a grocery/delicatessen just a block off of Duval Street, caters to many cruise ship passengers). Therefore, Mark and Jimmy should recuse themselves from all cruise ship items on City Commission meeting agendas.

I never felt the “channel-widening” study should have been put out to referendum in the first place. I felt the city commissoners and mayor should have made the call among themselves. However, the ones who voted to put it out to referendum thereby told me they wanted more and bigger cruise ships calling on Key West, regardless of how 74 percent of the voters later said no way. Did any elected official vote no on putting it out to referendum? I know Mayor Cates voted to put it out to referendum.

movie director megaphone[72-Hour Film Challenge] All local actors, filmmakers, and general creative-types are invited to participate in the second annual 72-Hour Film Challenge, to be held during the weekend of August 23rd, 2014. Filmmaking teams will have 72 hours to write, shoot, and edit a complete short film that is seven minutes or less in length. All entries will be shown at a screening open to the public on September 17th and 18th at the Tropic. Both amateurs and professionals are encouraged to enter! Teams can be of any size!

To participate in the 72-Hour Film Challenge as an actor, filmmaker, or crew member, contact Juliet Gray at 917-756-7536 or

How it will work: Filmmaking teams will meet at the Tropic on Thursday, August 21st, where you will be given a prop, a line of dialogue, a character name and profession, and a genre that your film must include. You must turn in your completed film at the Tropic by 5pm on Monday, August 25th. The completed films will then be shown to the public at a screening at the Tropic on September 17th and 18th.
Juliet Gray reminds us and sent us the 3 Images Above : This is your weekend challenge, should you choose to accept it: You and your fantastic friends have 72(ish)-hours to make a 7-minute (or less) film.

Society is held together by political correctness and empathy, but as soon as tragedy strikes the 2D Amendmenters try to grab what you have. Why does society breakdown so fast?
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A friend told me the other day that the bag limit on mangrove snapper is 5 per person. Didn’t this use to be 10? These fish seem as plentiful as yellowtail snapper, so why the lower bag limit? Was there a study done, or just some arbitrary limit set by a faceless committee of regulators?
[Muslims] It would be cheaper for us in the long run to just step back and pay out a lot of large cash bribes to informants in the Middle East who will rat out any terrorist threats to us so Obama can smoke them with his drones.  Any unfortunates who become collateral damage can have their relatives rewarded with enough benefits to ease any conceivable amount of pain and suffering, and shut them up.  Everybody has his price.
[Sewers] “Miami Herald Article” There has been no case proven to date against the DEP, only complaints that have not been addressed in the hearing yet.  I think any independent reader would certainly agree immediately that deep injections wells are best and that there are issues with the pressure system.  I do not know where she got the idea that I stated grinder pumps blow up.  Never said that, but it might have been in some of the documents we sent her.

I have been working with a number of scientists and biologists on the long term problems on Big Pine Key for the deer, rats and bunnies when pressure system leaks occur.  Had hoped for a “letter to editor” in KW Citizen today, but they have a rule of only one per month.  Expanding the article with references to scientific studies and will send out tomorrow.

muslim18The poster makes valid points for vacating Iraq and the turmoil that seems pretty much of a constant thing in the middle east. Sadly he has only presented one piece of the conundrum. When dealing with humans with the mindset of these people, attempts to be reasonable and rational simply don’t work. To make my point I wholeheartedly agree with your slant of getting out and let them sort out their own problems, however, again one must remember what we are dealing with, and the double-whammy of having people with 7th century know-how in control of 21st century weapons. That is akin to having infants playing with nitro glycerin. The problem is indeed vexing when their ultimate goal is to wreak as much destruction and havoc on America as is humanly possible. My thoughts are that terrorists of this nature must be rendered as inconsequential as possible. In the meantime, hope that a bit of reality starts to seep into their constipated brains.   I mean, come on , beheading women and children and bragging to the world that the White House is on their agenda? Are you really ready to stand aside and watch far out carnage like that, knowing that you and yours are their ultimate target? Not in my house.
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bill-pump18[Captain Doom and Gloom] “Health Foods” Ever notice when a food supply is a low profit maker, it somehow then becomes a Health Food and prices go up higher then normal?

“Iraq” We did not fight for nothing for 11 years, we did protect the opium fields in Afghanistan, and the oil fields and pipe lines right. F freedom, lives mean nothing unless there is a profit to be made!

“Conspiracy Man”  Read the words carefully and learn something, but do not cloud your mind with dreams! Link

Why do you never see a politician play football?
1. there is no closet door at the Center Position
2. you cannot block an opponent with a waiver
3. Pass Receivers cannot carry a money bag
4. a Tight End is a personal office boy
5. a Punter needs to be a loner
6. the Water Boy cannot charge for services
7. as a Cheerleader…well, maybe!
8. a Locker-room Towel Boy…definitely!

Hilllary:  As recently reported in the national press, Queen wannabe Hillary commands $250,000 to $300,000 per personal appearance.  In addition, according to her appearance contract recently disclosed,  she demands the following:  A presidential grade accommodation at a luxury hotel with 5 or more additional luxury suites for her advance team and staffers.  No more than 90 minutes per speach/appearance.  No more than 50 photographs.  No questions not pre-screened by her  staff.  Limousine transportation to and from the airport and her hotel and appearance venue.  Transportation to the city of appearance in a private jet no smaller than a     G450 Gulfstream fully catered.  The list goes on.   And, all of this does not include the Secret Service teams assigned to her protection at taxpayer expense.   It’s impossible to believe that she’s “In touch with the average working American” as she so proudly claims.
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President Obama is incompendent, Charlie Crist is not fit to run our great state. Conservative leadership has show it works well in states with Conservative leadership. States with liberal or democratic leadership are in dire straights. There are only so many slices of pie, don’t kid yourself. Government doesn’t make anything, it takes. It’s all about business, the jobs and the tax dollars they generate. I would like to think this has been a teachable moment for the voters. Vote wisely, Vote for conservative government , You have a choice, you can make a difference my friends.
from the right
missile wavy flight 539hThe people who have posted in opposition to intervention in Iraq are well intentioned and I can understand their fatigue with the conflicts that have raged there for more than a decade. But Iraq is not the problem.

The problem is a wave of brand new terrorists that are devouring the mid-east. Our intelligence community has known of the existence of these terrorist, ISIS and/or ISIL, for years. They make AQI, Hamas, and nearly every other brand of terrorism look like girl scouts. The intel community has warned the administration of its existence for at least a year and the extraordinary level of threat they pose not only to the region, but to the world. Mr. Obama has chosen not to act until now.

ISIS/ISIL is committed to establishing a worldwide caliphate, and their successes to date should give us grave concern about their ability to carry out that commitment. Their cruelty to their enemies seems unmatched in history. We’ve seen the beheading of children, and we’ve seen children beheading their foes. Mass murder, genocide, looting, and scorching the earth are their stock in trade.

Even Great Britain has recognized their threat. GB’s PM David Cameron is deeply concerned. In a recent speech he said: “’If we do not act to stem the onslaught of this exceptionally dangerous terrorist movement, it will only grow stronger,” Cameron said; “Islamic State fighters sweeping across Syria and Iraq are a direct threat to Britain and the country must use all of its “military prowess” to halt their advance.”

As ISIS/ISIL conquers new territory it acquires the wealth of that territory and the fealty of the radicalized Muslims in that territory.

Obama, while terribly late in the crisis, is absolutely right in committing air power, munitions, weapons, “advisers” and even special operators to combat ISIS/ISIL wherever it is found, be it Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, or any other venue. They now control more than quarter of Syria and a third of Iraq. As they sweep through they vacuum up abandoned weapons, many of them US weapons that had been supplied to their vanquished. US guns, artillery, trucks, tanks, and ammo have all fallen into the hands of ISIS/ISIL. They boast of it. In one bank in Mosul alone they seized nearly a half a billion in gold.

At no time in history has Muslim fundamentalism, its intolerance and its cruelty grown so huge or so quickly as it has during the Obama administration. They must be stopped, or you’ll wind up getting your women fitted for burkas and buying a prayer rug.

Should you think that this is nothing more than the rants of a right winger, you should know that many Congressional Democrats share my views, and many high ranking members of the Obama admin share my views.

If you think I’m exaggerating, I suggest you read the links for comments made by Obama advisers and staff. Link Link