2013 May

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media

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[Power to the People] We should know after tomorrow’s vote if power is coming to No Name Key. As much as I’m against (I don’t live there) it, I think after thirty years of legal battles, the County Commissions should take note that the powerless of NNK aren’t powerless at all and will continue their fight until they win. They’ve got the money.



[Developers] I have to agree with the Key West Citizen editorial today that the recent retroactive (pardon?) tax exemption for Balfour Beatty is unfair and probably unconstitutional.

Why didn’t the Legislature fight for a  property tax exemption for those of us who rent to military families, you know, the little people? Instead they give it to a giant corporation that has consistently stretched the truth both here and all over the country as to their tax exempt status.

Great editorial! Really bad legislative shenanigans.


I want to say that I am thinking of, and praying for, Stanley of BPK Ace, who had an accident while trimming a tree a month or so ago. He remains in ICU but is otherwise alert and, I hear, in good spirits. He is as good a man as they come. The recovery will take time, but let’s all hope that it will put him back on his feet, and bring him back home to all of us who know and care about him. Get well Stan!

[Commercials] Funny how I pay for cable/satellite TV but I still get commercials. 



Hi everybody, I have a beautiful house for sale in Eden Pines. Please watch this Video. ~Nira Tocco

[Listen to Your Writing] Take any Microsoft Word .doc file and convert it into a .wav file that you can listen to on iPods, CDs and digital music players. Link 



[“Wine Tastings are Bullshit”]  I agree. Recently our wine tasting friends brought a bottle to our house that they really liked at a tasting. My husband and I both thought it sucked. It didn’t have “a finish reminiscent of early morning in a Scandinavian forest.” It was more like the finish you’d get from a vinegar factory.

I think people are swayed by the freely flowing wine and atmosphere at those wine tastings and when they get a buzz they start to like everything presented to them, so they buy it think it’s great not knowing it’s just overpriced mediocre wine. 

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Here is your Orchid Society Newsletter for May: Menu > Continuing Events



Wild Tamarind tree in Homestead is among the biggest. Link

Planting one coral thingy at a time in the ocean 6 miles from BPK. Link


Zipline issue returns to the Marathon City Council Tuesday. This Keysnet photo is of the City’s commission meeting. Link



Bacon affects the brain the same way as cocaine, overloading pleasure centers in the brain and requiring increasing amounts to be satisfied. Oh what I could do with a bile of bacon like that!

[Make 7 Mile Bridge Report Public] Commissioner Danny Kolhage will ask his fellow commissioners Wednesday to seek a court order to force state transportation officials to unseal a 62-page inspection report for the Old Seven Mile Bridge. Link

an_drops many


[Water on the deck] If anyone around BPK knows of a company who installs seamless gutters, I would appreciate the info. Thank you

[“Graph of drought and rain fall events”] All These graphs are from the NOAA web site you must accept the fact that the left is lying about climate change NOAA links directly to the actual data and you are free to plot your own graphs. For the record Skeptical Science is a joke among intellectuals. It’s name is simply to attract sneering  anti science sub intellectuals on the left who are desperate to believe in something. Here’s some home work for you, ask them why NOAA And actual science says total hurricanes are down and yet the SS keeps insisting they are up. Again for the record NOAA actually backs there graphs up with real data. Ask your SS friends to do the same. Link 

Public Service Commission votes Tuesday on No Name Key power. Link



This sign is from a bar is called the silent woman. It was made famous by Larry Flint and Penthouse Magazine. Larry had a mansion not far away. The sign features a headless woman.  

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[“How to Stop Jehovah’s Witnesses”] A lock on my gate allows me to keep out anyone I don’t want to see, including most relatives. 



Remove a splinter easily by applying a paste of baking soda and water, then waiting several minutes for the splinter to pop out of the skin. You need to remember this, especially for kids.

[Mother’s Day Speech] Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts, whether our baptism be that of water or of tears!… We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says “Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.” ~Julia Ward Howe, 1870


Full moon sunset kayaking excursion fundraiser benefits F.A.V.O.R. Sponsored by Big Pine Kayak Adventures Friday, May 24th from 6:30-8:30 pm. Beginners and experienced paddlers are invited to join in this paddling event and eco-tour excursion guided by Bill Keogh and his team of guides from Big Pine Kayak. We launch from Big Pine Kayak’s waterfront location at the Old Wooden Bridge Fishing Camp. More dates and info at Bulletin Board


If you really want to stop Jehovah’s Witnesses from coming to your door, just tell them that you are a practicing Satanist and that Satan is the true god of the earth. Then ask them if they would appreciate some literature on the subject for them to read. That’s what I did, and it worked!

[Marathon Journal] Marathon Planning Commission and the proposed Crane Point zip line continue to stir emotions on both sides of the issue.

-Last week we talked about the Pill-Cam a diagnostic tool to see inside the human gut without an invasive procedure. We got a lot of feedback. If you have problem X, then Pill-Cam is used whether there is insurance or not. If they find a problem, then an enteroscopy is done. An enteroscopy is like a colonoscopy but in the small bowel. If the Pill-Cam finds nothing wrong, you still  have problem X. You can see that Pill-Cam is a waste of money and your time. Thanks for all the feedback.

-Marathon Fire Chief will exercise the city’s hurricane disaster plan when Monroe County does theirs. I asked about allowing personal cars to park at the high points in the city. There is one at Home Depot. I think that when the declaration of emergency is announced that all high points be used to avoid the Hurricane Wilma-like destruction of so many cars.

-Oldie but goodie: The Marathon City Council versus Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority continues at the July 26 [2005] council meeting. After a protracted discussion

with some public input, Marathon has determined that they don’t need FKAA’s

permission for anything to do with wastewater.

-City Attorney John Herin provided an opinion of Marathon’s right to be its

own wastewater authority. He explained that the FKAA’s request of the

Florida State Attorney to provide a legal opinion on the matter was declined. The City Attorney wrote his opinion.

-Based on several factors, Marathon has as of right the ability to be its own wastewater authority notwithstanding the FKAA. This right is granted to municipalities by the Florida constitution. The right is also part of the city’s charter and not specifically excluded. The charter was enacted before the FKAA’s legislation, giving it authority over unincorporated Monroe County. Municipalities have the right to build, operate, and maintain their

own wastewater systems. Key West and Key Colony Beach are examples of such

systems already in place by cities without any FKAA assistance.

-With the stated legal opinion, the council moved toward hiring Weiler Engineering Corporation (WEC) to get Marathon’s sewer project going as soon as possible. City Council would prefer to enter into an interlocal agreement using tax dollars collected from the Municipal Services Taxing Unit (MSTU). This MSTU was setup to pay for services in the planning, construction, and operation of wastewater systems. Both the city and the FKAA had agreed that WEC approach was viable and should proceed.

-While FKAA Executive Director Jim Reynolds and Board of Director Mary Rice looked on, the council discussed other alternative funds to keep the process moving, until the MSTU can be changed over to the City of Marathon vice the FKAA. The staff was directed to take action to make that happen as soon as possible.

-Meanwhile, the city essentially hired WEC and will proceed to build and operate its own wastewater systems.

-Former council member, Frank Greenman, cautioned the city on its course of action. Resident John Whalton also spoke about the city continuing to work with the FKAA.

-Clearly, the City of Marathon has the right to be its own wastewater authority. After five years with the FKAA, the City Council has rightly determined that the course of action is to follow the examples of Key West and Key Colony Beach and exercise its right to build and operate its own wastewater systems. There is still a lot of work to do, but 2010[?] is

coming quickly. The City of Marathon can make that deadline for less money with a quality sewer system. The FKAA needs to stand aside and let Marathon do its business.

-Dredging is a four-letter word in Key West. O, electricity is another four-letter word out at No Name Key.

-Those cities with existing wastewater and stormwater systems that are ready for an upgrade need funding as well as those areas still working on their systems. Key Colony Beach and Key West deserve support from the state for being the first to install systems.

-Voter suppression from Florida’s onerous attempt to affect early voting has finally died. A bill passed to return early voting back to what is was.

-How do you damage an improving state economy? Just look at Governor Scott’s denial of federal health care funding.

-Miami Heat leads the Chicago Bulls two games to one. As the series gets more physical, the Heat gets better. Hey, the NHL playoffs are on too.



The procession just got awkward!

Back before Walmart you used to have to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady.


Great IQ test site. Link



Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!

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Eclipse and a plane. 

[Talking Trash] The folks from the mainland who own vacation homes in the Keys and come for a weekend or a few days then leave on Sunday or Monday and leave their trash with or without lids until trash day, generally Wednesday, are certainly gaining great favor amongst the deer on Big Pine. The end result however is not quite as popular with us locals who have garbage strewn all over Westshore Drive and into the mangroves and right on into the canal system.  How about taking the trash back to the mainland in your trunk in giant garbage bags so we don’t have to wrestle it away from the deer or spend time scooping it up and tossing it into your garbage cans? There is also a locking lid device for those cans you drive away and leave for the deer. Just a few minutes of thought for the environment and your neighbors would equal such a nice world.


Why are you people in the Keys so gullible and let your elected officials rip you off like they are doing?



The Moon, currently south of the ecliptic, passes well below Regulus as it waxes across the evening sky. (The ecliptic practically hits Regulus.)

[Canals] While on the subject of folks throwing and blowing items into the canals —  could the person living on [address deleted]Fern Ave, Big Pine please blow their leaves, dirt and lawn trash toward the street instead of the the canal system of Eden Pines.

Really, like there is not enough in these canals now and with the East winds all your debris is now at the west end of my canal. Not cool dude, and I came by on my boat as you were tidying up the yard with the leaf blower at full tilt so I believe I have the correct info here.  I am all for live and let live and consideration for others and nature. What say you?


[Climate Fail] “It doesn’t matter what is true, it only matters what people believe is true.”  ~Paul Watson, founder of Greenpeace. Link

Tree-PeacockPeacock In A Tree

I’d like to be

Under a tree

In the Key Deer Refuge garden

In the shade.

I’ll show my tail

‘Cuz I’m a male

In the Key Deer Refuge

On Big Pine Key.

I will sing and dance around

With my deer friends because you know.

I’m just a P

Peacock in a tree

Please just go away

And let me be

A majestic peacock in a tree.

Help save the Big Pine Key peacocks. Ask questions, demand answers, and don’t give up. 

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[CFL light bulbs]  The dirty little secret of CFL’s is that once you turn one off you should wait 15 minutes before turning it back on. Flipping them on and off too frequently diminishes their life span. 

I don’t really give a rat’s rear about global warming impacting hurricanes. The online arguments come down to people cutting and pasting from different sources; they have no clue as to what’s really going on. Like the old song, they just want to say, “Hurray for our side”. If you want a link that hits the nail on the head about the current “cargo cult” beliefs in global warming, click on this link. And I would not try to discredit Feynman- he was right up there with Einstein. Link

[“Answering the door to cultists naked”] That’s considered indecent exposure even if it’s on your own property. One has to maintain some sort of cover over private parts from being seen from public view, if it’s clothes, walls, fences, doors or curtains.

The pentagram symbol on pasties and black tights kept near the front door for just a special occasion will invoke the same shock value and not give the cultists the opportunity to have you arrested/sued for free publicity and profit purposes.

It’s also a good idea to have another person with you when you attempt to run off these people as to have a witness as they usually come in pairs and thus can say anything they want to law enforcement later, no need for you to have to register (and be hated) for life everywhere you go for being a sex offender over a dumb stunt.

Remember, religions are just a cult with more members and their brainwashed followers have their view of reality heavily distorted (“TV is bad”, “Internet is bad”, “books and education, except our own, is bad” etc.) and trying to distort others and bring them (and of course their money) into the fold.

JW’s, Mormons and other religions and cults do door to door canvassing to find weak minded, mentally diminished and lonely people (especially older folks who will leave their will to them) and get 10-20% of their monthly income. With 50% of the population with below average IQ levels, it’s pretty easy to find new members and turn them into roving pitchmen.

There are some minor benefits with being part of a larger group, socializing and business contacts, teaching morals, ethics and empathy to young children, however many religions/cults naturally only to give preference to their own kind, treat non-cultists as “unclean” and some even charge more on “outsiders”. The massive brainwashing alone simply isn’t worth the benefit, not mention the costs involved.

The “One Human Family” concept is much more enlightened approach, doesn’t pit religion against religion, or belief against belief. It’s rather simple — love thy neighbor as thyself, which going around annoying people at their homes, certainly doesn’t qualify. Link 



[Lost Dog] I lost my Basset Hound. He ran out on Sunday morning. I live off of Palm Av in Eden Pines. His name is Georgie and has no collar. If you have any info please call me Classified Ads > Lost and Found

[Restaurant Review] My husband took me to the Bistro on Big Pine for Mother’s Day brunch.  We expected a buffet but that wasn’t the case. We stayed anyway.  The ad in the Barometer said Mothers ate free.  That didn’t happen.  I guess we won’t go back.


In 1981, Pope John Paul II  was shot and critically injured by  would-be assassin Mehmet Ali  Agca in St. Peter’s Square at the  Vatican. The world must protect itself against the scourge of Islam.

religion politics zone

[Benghazi] The notion that Republicans did not fund adequate security has been debunked.Democrat oversight committee members repeatedly blamed a lack of adequate consulate security upon Republican budget cuts. Yet when then-Deputy Assistant Secretary for Diplomatic Security Charlene Lamb was asked at a hearing last October if there was any budget consideration that led her not to increase the security force, the answer was “No”. She added “This was an unprecedented attack in size.” Then, when asked again about budget issues, Lamb replied, “Sir, if it’s a volatile situation, we move assets to cover that.”

[“IRS low level employee’s target Tea Party “type””] Yep, you got to watch them low level folks. I understand the’re the same bunch of low level employees that killed our men in Benghazi.

(Ed: The only good I can see coming out of Benghazi is that I learned how to spell it.)

[FTR] It must be exhausting being offended by everything American except war and profit.

[Right is Wrong] In 2010, the Tea Party came after everything – Roe, birth control, they tried to overturn the family-planning law that Nixon signed into law and Planned Parenthood too. They were part of a much bigger effort to repeal decades of progress on women’s health and rights. In 2012 they hadn’t changed.

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[Benghazi] The following questions concerning the lasing of targets during the Benghazi attack carried out by terrorists are very troubling:

-Does the equipment activate if there are no available assets on station? does it function at all?

-If available, do you request tasking thereby sync’ing frequencies with the asset on station?

-Does the designator ‘go green’ signifying its ready to fire once the request has been accepted, the asset tasked, frequencies sync’d, and the pilot (back in Langley) ready?

-When the target is ‘painted’… typically how long before the asset fires?

-Would you ever break cover to ‘paint’ a target if the above steps were not completed?

-What happens if it doesn’t fire?

-What reasons would there be for it not firing?

I believe these questions would lead to a very uncomfortable situation for someone.



[The Left] They’re like this in politics too.

After waiting a few days for a response I guess I can write republicans credibility off.

First after reading on here a few days ago that Obama promised people free healthcare Iasked Republican posters to show me any quote in the history of the world that Obama spoke those very words they claimed he said.

They couldnt prove their rhetoric.

Then I asked the same question I asked awhile back. Republicans keep saying Obama wants to take away your Guns. Please post the quote directly from our President that they keep refering too.

Again they cant do it.

They cant prove their lies. It really is that simple folks. They can spin with the best of them but they cant stand behind their words. This folks is why they lost the Presidential election.

[Muslims] This will happen here, bet on it. Video

Only Republicans will be safe from the effects of climate change because they deny it exists.


The point of No Name Key not wanting electric is to protect it from developers right? If that is the case, then why cannot the inhabitants vote to not have it, or to vote to get it and then to vote to moratorium the Key as a National Monument, or a State Area, or a Not to be Built On for the next 100 years area? Seems you do not own your property, the politicos do. That old saying, or rather, con of ‘It is for the benefit of the general public–stinks!  Don’t believe that, ask anyone living on Cudjoe Key or Shark Key.

NNK Key Electricity–There is still one sadly demented person out there who continues to speak of how homeowners on No Name built and purchased homes knowing it was illegal to have electricity. Where have I heard that simplex argument before? Besides being dumb, you are wrong.  It has never been illegal to have electricity extended to No Name Key.  It has been illegal, and morally wrong to deny it.  All litigation and protests to the contrary have been a pseudo-democratic ritual rain dance with the validity of voodoo, at county taxpayers’ expense.

The comment yesterday that “anybody who doesn’t want the people of No Name Key to have grid electricity should walk over to the electric panel in their house and shut off the main breaker and put a lock on it and throw away the key” is one of the most idiotic comments I have seen.  

I chose to not buy on No Name Key, because I wanted electricity, so I purchased a home with electricity elsewhere.  Why should I do without, because these pro-electric bozos made a mistake in buying there to begin with?