Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

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We’ve all seen that ex from high school on Facebook and thought, Wow, I dodged the bullet on that one!



Happy first Mother’s Day to Kaitlin Shew Kaitlin is the love of his life of Easton Shew of No Name Key. She is pretty special to all of us. Kaitlin and Easton are actively and most impressively serving our country overseas in the USAF, as witnessed first-hand. Where they found the time, who knows. I love you Kaitlin!

[Key Largo Extinguishes Volunteer Fire Department]  Looks like Key Largo has gotten themselves a Fire District Board that governs based on vengeance, personal vendettas, and with no regard for the public’s opinion, or the truth.  Don’t even bother them with the facts, they’re not interested.  A little dictator has taken over the reins and has co-opted two other cowardly board members to vote with him to destroy an award-winning, nationally recognized volunteer fire rescue department.  

Way to go Key Largo Fire District Board!  Commissioner Thomas, you’re the man!  Actually, you’re a little bully tyrant, but I’m not here to quibble semantics.  You have hurt your community, destroyed a functioning fire department, alienated the public, disregarded the truth, ignored the facts, propagated and supported lies. Now that’s a fire district board and a Commissioner to be proud of.  

I’ve lived in the Keys since 1989 and I’ve worked with, and been closely aware of Chief Garcia and Key Largo Fire for most of those years.  It’s been a solid, reputable, responsive, volunteer fire department for all that time, and has served the community very well.  Are they perfect, no, who is?  Were they difficult at times in issues with Monroe County over the years when they were under the County’s jurisdiction?  Yes, they were at times, but that’s part of being in Key Largo, seems as though there’s something in the water up there, they come from Key “Difficult” Largo.  

The County never treated the Key Largo community in such a hostile manner, but you wanted to have your own fire district and be able to more closely control  your special taxing district dollars and operations.  How’s that working out for you?  I see this Fire District Board costing you more and more and more.  I really hope to see Key Largo incorporate within the next several years, so you can all deal with yourselves and leave the rest of the County alone.  Can I vote for Key Largo to incorporate too?  I say, “Hell yes!”, and don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on your way out.  I can see the welcome signs now: “Welcome to Key Largo, a little community with a BIG attitude”.

Sergio guided that department through a lot of changes over the years, and he did a good job of holding the ranks together.  Thank you, Sergio, for your dedication and public service.  I know you’re not done, you’ll guide that fire rescue department to morph into new service areas where you can still serve the Upper Keys communities in emergency response.  Hats off to you, Sergio and the guys and gals of volunteer Key Largo Fire Rescue Department, and thumbs down to the heavy-handed dictators of the Key Largo Fire District Board.  



Hi everybody, I have a beautiful house for sale in Eden Pines. Please watch this Video. ~Nira Tocco

[Little Voices, Big Changes] I think that, as typical Americans,  the people of No Name Key had their heads up their butts, with regards to their local government, when the part time American woman pulled the right strings and pushed the right buttons in that local government which allowed her to have her way.  Next time pay attention.  The same thing is going on in Key Largo right now with the push for citification, and there is the attempt to spend millions of dollars of taxpayer money to re-build the Pigeon Key bridge so a few people can drive their cars out there.


[Wine Tasting is Bullshit] Here’s why. I found this article piquant and slightly nutty with overtones of ripe boysenberry and green tea and a finish reminiscent of early morning in a Scandinavian forest. Link 

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The hurricane/ tropical storm frequency graph makes no sense.

MCSheeple[Sewers] It looks like the poop is going to hit the fan or at least the septic tank if the water company does not get their profiteering heads out of their asses and allow some smarter and honest people to re-engineer the sewer system for our Keys. The way they are going about it looks very much like the way the Route 1 abortion has been laid out: money first, common sense last.

I must say that I will not bend over for these profiteers like most of you sheep will, and will pay an independent contractor to install a simple Gravity Drain system from my 14 foot high house down to the main line. With an estimated 16 foot head, who the hell needs a grinder pump and all the extra unnecessary expense that goes with it. By the time I pay these bozos and the monthly fees to poop, I can send my dodo by first class mail to the Governor’s mansion or better yet, to the Presidente! Come on sheeple, can’t you realize you are getting screwed again? Sheeple Link

[WFFG] Since Cal departed the morning Reel’n In The Keys Show things have gone down hill. Let Joe entice Cal back to the Keys and make the morning show the gem that it use to be.

[Bad Choices] A guy on Friday was complaining that he bought on an island where it’s illegal to have electricity so he pays too much to run a generator so the government should change the law for him and allow electricity.



[How to Stop Jehovah’s Witnesses”] Ever since I answered door naked the Jehovah and Mormons have not been back! 

[Newtown Massacre Panel] Tear down Sandy Hook, rebuild it. Link



[The Daily Sheeple] You’re gunna love this one. Link

[Climate Fail] Over 4.5 billion people could die from global warming-related causes by 2012. Human activity is causing the Earth to warm, the central debate has shifted to when we will pass the tipping point and be helpless to stop the runaway global warming. Link

[1959’s “Walk Don’t Run”] USAF Four Star General Babbitt was a drummer at for the Ventures. Video



The Operating Room of the future. Video

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[“Making fun of God is wrong and insulting to those of us who believe”] Do you think we are trying to help you become realists and sane? Stop living in your bubble and get to work.



Happy Mother’s Day!

[CFL light bulbs] You can still buy incandescent lamps after 2014, just not the standard cheap ones. I am waiting for congress to turn against CFLs because of the mercury and start pushing LED bulbs. I saw a 60 W LED bulb for $14 at Home Depot! Get ready for it, those clowns never stop spending your money.


[To the bitter, shrew of an ex-wife, who really needs to stay 3000 miles away] Seriously, stay as far away from BPK as you can. Your ex is a well loved, and well respected member of this community.  We are lucky to have him, and lucky not to have you.  People living in glass houses really shouldn’t be throwing stones.

an_pentagram2[Scaring Off Jehovah’s Witnesses Soul Savers]  I’ve been told that nothing will make a JW clear out faster than a practicing Pagan.  Next time they come, tell your friend to answer the door buck-assed naked with a Pentagram hanging around his/her neck.  Or just hang a pentagram in a very visible place.  They’ll never be back, ever, your house will be permanently and irrevocably marked off their list.  I’ve got Rosemary and Basil planted by the front door — both witch’s herbs, hoping that would scare them, but apparently they are not up on their herbal Wiccan lore.  I am seriously considering the naked thing with the pentagram myself, that vision would scare anybody at my age. By the way, Pentagrams are not evil either, anymore than herbs, and wiccan and other Pagan-faith folks, but as long as “they” think they are, use it to your advantage.

[God’s Will] Why would I assume you are an atheist after explaining so many different takes on “Gods Will”? why would I assume  that I know what goes on in your mind, I know many Christians and many Atheists and Agnostics, some delight in putting those of a different belief down, but thankfully most believe as I do that what ever belief or faith others may ascribe to is generally regarded as a personal matter, and really not the business of others , yes I know Christians that criticize atheists and Atheists that delight in criticizing Christians,  However the practice in my daily endeavors seems much less than what you seem to imply, I am glad for you that your assumption was able to bring you a laughing moment, as the old saying goes, “whatever floats your boat” 



Happy Mother’s Day! Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’   ~Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)    

[Hurricanes and Global Warming] One response to the tiresome attempt to prove there is no way that climate change is real. Dude, you need to be a skeptic of the stuff you read! Link

[Composting Granny] Eco-friendly Green burials. Composting rocks! Link  
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Meanwhile back in South Carolina (the land of Mark Sanford). Sadly this is about 10 miles from my house. Link

Global hurricane frequency. Draw your own trend line. Link


[How to Stop Jehovah’s Witnesses”] They told me to get ready for the second coming. I asked them when it was going to happen and they said soon. I asked why soon? They didn’t know, they just thought it would be soon because the world’s a mess. I said it was a worse mess for the last 2000 years than it is now and how come He didn’t come when we really needed Him back then? They said , “hmmm?” They haven’t been back.


[More Bacon] Yet another way to drink your bacon.  Link 

4941384[Monitor Fumes] The company that made the monitor may not have an answer, but I would be demanding a replacement, I assume this is a new purchase.  At any rate, the obvious answer is that you should immediately quit using that monitor as the symptoms you describe from being near the monitor indicate toxic fumes.  The fumes could make you quite ill if you are exposed for a sufficient length of time, and probably are cancer-causing toxins.  Your old monitor, if you still have it, works, hook it up until you can get a replacement from the company.  In the meantime, quit using that monitor or ventilate your area very well so the fumes are being steered away from you. That sounds bad. 

Cheap Chinese plastics, probably have some worse than normal ingredient that are leaching out when the monitor gets warmed up; and like their cheap drywall was making people sick some years back.  Good luck.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.   ~Mark Twain


[“Plastic smell coming from their flat screen TV”] ] That is not your TV but your fried dead brain cells permeating into your sinus cavities. This is usually caused by watching too much MSNBC.

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Happy Mother’s Day from all of us here at Fanci Seafood!

(Stone crab season ends May 15th. Come get your fresh crab claws here.)

Bill Clinton said Hillary hasn’t said anything to him about 2016. But in fairness, she hasn’t said anything to him since 1998.  ~Jimmy Fallo


Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.   ~Winston Churchill



[Captain Doom and Gloom] When we see how the politicos manipulate our wallets it becomes a laugh to say the least. Take the sewage and garbage systems designed to make this planet a better place to live. After spending billions to pipe, ship, contain and destroy our trash and poo, what do they do with it, they dump in in Mt Trashmore, dump it at Sea, or burn it into our breathing air. What an illogical sense of humor they have. What if they could use all our crap for fuel in a fusion reactor, but no, that is too profitless an endeavor, eh?  Will humanity ever grow up?

religion politics zone

Obamacare is a very poorly written law. It should be repealed . Rewritten. By both parties.

The Republicans, well known champions and true guardians of Family Values and the Moral Majority and Traditional American Patriotic Constitutional Conservative Values,  has welcomed their latest philandering hero, Congressman Mark Sanford, back into their big tent



[Obama’s America]  IRS Apologizes for Targeting Conservative Groups. “Organizations were singled out because they included the words “tea party” or “patriot” in their applications for tax-exempt status, said Lois Lerner, who heads the IRS division that oversees tax-exempt groups.”

Just wait until you see what they do when they control your health care. Reynolds Law: What politicians control they will use against you to get what they want. Link 

“I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket trying to lift himself by the handle”   ~Winston Churchill

Perhaps President Obama should heed the words of wisdom of world leaders past.

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The White House is marking Mother’s Day, which is this Sunday, by celebrating free birth control provided by Obamacare.  Link


[No Name Key Electricity]  I predict that the Public Service Commission will hold their meeting on schedule next week, find in favor of electricity for the developed homes on No Name Key, and the County BOCC will vote at their next meeting NOT to appeal the PSC decision, and issue the permits for hookup, and then, finally, work to change the LDR language back to “discourage” to match the Comp Plan.  She-who-will-not-be-named is riding a dead horse. She has held these people hostage and controlled their lives and their homes, and earned herself karma retributions long enough.  A new day is dawning on No Name Key.  

[NO NAME KEY ELECTRIC] The greenie lady from Canada is working hard to get the No Name debacle in front of the Florida Supreme Court. I will say one thing for her- she is persistent. I don’t know her motives, but she is costing the folks in Monroe County a bunch in legal fees. It is too bad that she doesn’t put her talents to use getting windstorm rates down or some other cause that helps rather than hurts Keys residents, especially the ones living on No Name. For some reason, I have a hard time believing that all her efforts are driven by the  “Save the Keys”  mantra.

It could be a banner week for commercial electricity proponents on No Name Key.

On Tuesday, many expect the state Public Service Commission to approve plans to electrify the island. The next day, the Monroe County Commission is set to discuss results of a study that recommends doing away with a county prohibition of public utilities on the island. Tuesday’s PSC hearing was originally meant only to decide whether the PSC has jurisdiction over the No Name decision, but spokeswoman Cindy Muir said it would be handled as a “proposed agency action.”

“Along with jurisdiction, (if approved) the Commission will also decide whether or not No Name Key should receive electrical power. Once the order is issued, if not protested, it will be become final after 21 days,” Muir said in an e-mail to the Keynoter.

No Name resident Alicia Putney, for years the driving force fighting commercial electricity on the 1,000-acre island, was denied the right to intervene in the PSC matter on April 19. Muir said Putney filed a petition with the state Supreme Court to overturn that ruling. But that won’t stop the PSC from holding its hearing, according to Muir. And whatever the PSC decides, Putney only has the right to appeal her denial of intervention.

Depending on how the PSC rules, other parties named in the complaint brought by No Name resident Jim Reynolds against Lower Keys utility Keys Energy Services would have the right to appeal, including Monroe County. But that would appear unlikely given the county’s recent actions regarding No Name Key. In February, the commission voted unanimously to drop a trespassing action against Keys Energy over aerial easements on No Name, as well as an appeal of a Circuit Court decision that put final say over electrification in the PSC’s hands. The commission did vote to continue its involvement in the PSC complaint, but PSC staff recommendations released on May 2 were strongly in favor or electricity.

Meanwhile, the commission is scheduled to hear the results of a “coastal barrier overlay district” study it paid engineering and planning firm Keith & Schnars to conduct. The $40,600 study was to a wide-ranging look at county policies regarding the federal Coastal Barrier Resource System. Congress enacted the Coastal Barrier Resources Act in 1982 to protect coastal habitats, and the county in 2001 created a “coastal barrier overlay district” prohibiting utilities in such areas. According to county documents, the Keith & Schnars study recommends doing away with the prohibition on utilities created by the 2001 ordinance.

“If the CBRS overlay ordinance was eliminated, CBRS system units would still be protected from development by the county’s tier system,” the study says.

The 43 No Name homeowners have publicly battled over commercial electricity for decades. They get power now by banking it in batteries via solar panels and generators.

Anybody who doesn’t want the people of No Name Key to have grid electricity should walk over to the electric panel in their house and shut off the main breaker and put a lock on it and throw away the key