2015 December

Saturday, December 26, 2015


Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

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boxing day deer




Today is Boxing Day even though no one knows what it means except Canadians.

[Misery Loves Company] The lonelier you are, the more your attention is drawn toward negative social information.
berry-brothers-dolphinBetty Brothers is alive and well! A true Keys legend just turned 97 years old. She’s in a memory care center in Broward County. Betty lived on Little Torch Key from the 1950’s until just a few years ago. She developed the Dolphin Marina area which is where her house, now demolished, stood on the water by the bridge. She was a real estate broker and sold and bought real estate in the area for many years. Brothers Motel on Little Torch Key was run by her. She was involved with Seacamp from its inception. Betty is probably best known for her two pet porpoises, Dal and Suwa, plus the many books she wrote and illustrated about them. Visitors came to help feed the porpoises and enjoy the tales Betty would tell. Happy 97th Betty!
Old time Key Wester Ray “Tito” Casamayor passed away. He was a KW police chief implicated in the famous Bubba Bust where he was the lookout for pot smugglers, he also owned a bicycle shop and two grocery stores in Bahama Village.
purina cat food

[“Cat food”] I disagree that dry food is bad for them. My cat coughed to the point where we were very concerned until someone told us to switch from canned cat food to only dry cat food. In the last six months of dry food only she has only coughed once.

Code Enforcement is a tool for harassment. They only hassle those with money because they have no power over those who can’t pay their hefty fines and they have no other alternatives to get the poor to comply.
candle window snow




Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! This is pretty amazing. Just type in your address and look through the window at the snow falling on your home. Also try your former addresses and your childhood address when you were a kid.

Lawnsmith property maintenance 904-554-9293 Business Directory > Lawncare



[Whole Earth Catalog] Travels to the epicenters of counter-cultural America in Woodstock and San Francisco to tell the story of a book of hippy philosophy that defined the 1960s. Audio

Hello, I love the Coconut Telegraph! Freedom of speech. I’ve been trying to find out who to contact regarding the decal details of the Big Pine Flea Market. I’m interested in setting up there. Could you send me a phone number and/or name of a person or persons to contacts? Thank you so much for your publication and thanks so much in general. Peace and pay it forward. Business Directory > Clothing, Pawn, Flea Market
sheriff nameplate sm[Traffic expected to be heavy on Big Pine Key] With the Christmas and New Year’s holidays coming up, traffic is expected to be heavy as people travel to holiday events, do last minute shopping and take care of holiday errands. This is especially true for those who live on and travel through the Big Pine Key area.

Traffic becomes particularly congested during the holiday season on Big Pine Key. Sheriff Rick Ramsay would like to remind everyone to be patient. Expect delays and try to get out early in the day before traffic is at its heaviest.

Most of all, drive safely. Don’t pass in no passing zones or center turn lanes; pay attention to the speed limit and don’t drink and drive. The Sheriff’s Office will be monitoring traffic on Big Pine Key closely, particularly at the traffic light. We will do our best to keep traffic moving in that area. Have safe and happy holidays from the Sheriff’s Office.

[Got Stoned and Missed It] It hasn’t happened on Christmas Day in nearly the last four decades, and it won’t happen again until 2034. A full moon is going to be paired with the holiday. Adding to that, a giant asteroid will also zoom past our home planet. The full moon on Christmas will peak at about 6:11 am, but you can start watching at dusk. The special lighting treat for space enthusiasts in the form of a full moon won’t happen again until 2034. The US space agency NASA said the full moon coincided with the holiday will be a Full Cold Moon as it will be seen during the beginning of winter.

Experts said enthusiasts should go outside and look into the sky before dawn on Christmas if they want to see a lunar rarity. This full moon will be a beautiful phenomenon as it is paired with Christmas for the first time since 1977. The researcher predicted that the moon could reach full phase at around 3:11 on December 25. He also said that a giant asteroid, 2003 SD220, will flyby a day before Christmas.

yard-26I didn’t get a very nice Christmas gift from FKAA. This is the mess I came home to. What’s more, they have completely ploughed up the entire front yard, left the surface looking like a construction site and my driveway is like driving over a goat track. I guess because they commandeered my front yard they don’t have to care how they left it. Who would have guessed hooking up one house to a sewer system could be so invasive and destructive?

When they stuck their grinder pump in the middle of my front yard they at least made a halfhearted attempt to cleanup and replace the p-rock with some bad, low grade stuff. Today I discover they have installed the electric box exactly where they were told not to. The guy who met with me had clearly marked the location I had compromised on, at the side entrance to my house. It has now been installed front and center of the house. It looks horrendous.



Happy Holidays CTers!

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Because I didn’t see you first?


Seagulls continue to be a problem on Florida beaches.

[“Land crabs”] Corn meal will definitely work to make them taste better. Land crabs won’t puncture your tires because new tires are steel belted, and no longer blow out. Someone younger explained that to me a year or so ago (we’re showing our age!).
Christmas is a bridge. We need bridges as the river of time flows past. Today’s Christmas should mean creating happy hours for tomorrow and reliving those of yesterday.

pig-aAnother wonderful Christmas Feast at the “Nut” on Christmas day! A very special thank you to Jimmy Koval of Koval Landscaping and his crew for the pig. They cook it slowly in a Cuban cooker which makes it tender and so tasty. Many thanks to all who showed up with side dishes. It really makes for a wonderful and diverse meal. And thanks to CynDee’s turkey and Patty’s potatoes and gravy, plus all their hard work arranging and organizing this special dinner. We ended up with a heck of a feast! Thank you, Don Chairs, for the wonderful music and to all your friends that showed up to play as well. The place was rockin’ and people were singing along.




I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. Thank you all so much for your support over the last 32 years. Without you, we wouldn’t be “THE NUT”.

[Crooks] 6 weeks ago I deposited $75,000 into a local bank. When I received the interest statement I had earned 52 cents. Wow. If you figure that out for 5 years I will have earned about $30.00. Wow again. I went back to the same bank and talked to a loan officer about borrowing $75,000 and asked how much would the interest be for a five year loan. He told me it would ONLY be about $6,500. Wow. I closed out the account. I generally would like to get kissed when I get f**ked. I checked several other local banks and found that they are also paying .05%. Yes, that’s right 1/2 of 1 percent interest on your money that they loan out at 6% or higher.

[Bookie] Friday’s Miami Herald page 9a shows a Monroe County School tech employee arrested for running a sports gambling ring.

[“Ramrod pit-bull”] A neighbor took the owner to court claiming their pitbulls knocked her down. The case was dismissed and the owner smirked.
The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is this morning, Saturday, December 26, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Bring your new toys.


Watch the Navy’s Blue Angels workout from inside the cockpit. Video

[“Scandal in the Sheriff’s Department”] I find the comments of the “whistle blower” concerning the sheriff’s department to be very interesting.  They seem to ring true based a conversation I had some years ago with a friend who was a deputy during the Acevedo scandal.  His comment to me was that if the curtain was ever pulled back on the corruption in the sheriff’s office, it would make Randy and Monique look like rank amateurs.  He was born and raised in Key West and had been with the department for nearly 20 years at the time so it would seem likely that he knew whereof he spoke.
murrays-sign[MU RAYS] What’s up with Murray’s market sign? It has been missing letters for quite some time. This dingy market has gone downhill, while at the same time raising prices and doing nothing to improve the most expensive meat market in this area. You can get better meat at both Winn Dixie and Publix. The look of their costly meat alone will turn you off. It’s sometimes brown and dry.
[Full Moon] Did you see the giant full moon on Christmas morning? It was enormous and looked like a big planet.
hot man sun

In 2015, though, Key West set a record for heat, according to local forecasters at the National Weather Service who attributed the higher heat to a combination of factors, including El Niño, a strong high pressure system hovering over South Florida for most of the year and warmer water temperatures. Key West’s average temperature this year was 79.9 degrees, beating out the former record of 79.5 in 2007.

[“Scandal in the Sheriff’s Department”] I spoke with a long time Deputy who said those accusations about promoting bad people are true. He said if the public only knew what went on there we would all cringe. He wants to write a book about the department when he retires, but until he does he’s not saying a word for fear of retribution.
[“Pitbulls”] There is no such thing as a bad dog, only bad owners. I have a neighbor who is so insecure her fluff ball tries to attack everyone that comes near the fence dividing us, which is irritating since my backyard use is limited unless I want to listen to the dog bark and repeatedly hit the fence trying to climb it to get to me.
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