2013 August

Sunday, August 11, 2013


Classified Ads     Events     Business Directory      Contact Us      Menu    

[Fired for Stealing] I just found out I was fired from Bistro 31 for stealing. Lets clear something up right away. I was not fired. I quit because I was told I couldn’t have a shift meal. The management and I covered this ground before. I was told “we don’t want to lose you, you can have your shift meal” (a salad). Then, weeks later, they told me I couldn’t have a shift meal. That’s when I said we’ve already covered this ground before and quit the Friday before Memorial Day. I suffered through all the amateur shit. When I quit, I had been there the longest of anyone. You should have listened when I tried to help, but I take this as an assassination of my character. By the way, I worked at Montes, Panchos and Castaways where people would wait in line to get a seat.

Ed, I dare you to print this exactly the way I wrote it. (Ed: No way, Jose. This is all that remoans of your slander.)


[Phony Fish Report] I don’t want to mention names, but on Big Pine there is a place that has “pan seared Hogfish” that in reality is Vietnamese haddock, processed on a Russian trawler. I read that on the side of the box myself recently while working in the kitchen



Holy Carp! Fisherman catches a massive 30 lbs goldfish.

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.   



Looe Key Jewfish last Sunday under the boat. It came right up to my face and looked at me.

[Down With The TSA] Creating the TSA was largely a political decision, and many terrorism experts still believe that it doesn’t significantly enhance our security. Police catch murderers, the FBI catches bank robbers, but how many terrorists have been caught by screeners? Zero that we know of.


[Mosquito Drone] Coming to the Keys. Mosquitoes beware! Link

time_to_poop11[Cruise Ship Poop] Finally someone put it in print. you’ve got read the article, the lead story in the about all the sewage being spewed out of the cruise ships just a few clicks from the reef. I have been out there fishing and seen this trail of filth spew up under and behind the wake of each ship. It is disgusting, poop, food and just a nasty bunch of chewed up paper. With a disgusting oily slick that bubbles up with it–probably from all the grease of cooking. FL is about the only state that does not require offloading of sewage (at the port to be treated) or the sewage treatment plant on the boat itself, has to really treat the sewage like all of our little pumps (going to Cudjoe, I hope) will do in the future. Here we are spending millions and millions for our little amount of poo-poo to be shipped to Cudjoe when whole city’s worth of sewage is being dumped in the ocean just outside the reef where it just comes right on in with the tide. Now this is one environmental movement I can sure get behind.

Let’s stop them now! If you really want to save the reef this is the sure fire way to do it. I have been yapping about this for years and finally someone with a mighty pen and soon I hope others join and we may just be cleaned up like Hawaii, Washington state and all of Alaska

an  legalize marijuana


[CNN’s Gupta: Wrong about medical marijuana] Previously Dr Gupta said, “Smoking the stuff is not going to do your health any good,” But Gupta said Friday he too easily associated marijuana with “malingerers that just wanted to get high.” Now he wants to say he’s sorry. High five! You know the time had come when corporate America media’s darling Gr Gupta says it’s okay. 

[Tech Wars] Samsung has been cutting into Apple’s dominance in phones and is now the leading smartphone manufacturer. Samsung is also pushing into Apple’s territory with its own Android tablet computers. Apple is suing Samsung for patent infringements.


[Condimint] Extract of Beaver Anal gland in your food. Yum? Link


I’m still waiting to hear all the defenders of the Constitution explain why they say that they will die for the Second Amendment but ignore the Fourth Amendment.

If you fear unconstitutional search and seizure so much that you need a gun, why not stop the problem before it starts? 

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.    

The Postal Service had $740 million third-quarter loss, still, year-to-date, the Postal  Service had losses totaling $3.9 billion. Thank the unions for the loss.




New item. Redneck pacifier.

Term limits would increase the likelihood that people who come to Congress would anticipate returning to careers in the private sector and therefore would, as they legislate, think about what it is like to live under the laws they make.


[Banner Pictures] Deer Ed,I like your daily headline pictures of the CT. Do you have them copy protected? Once in awhile I find one that I would like to save. (Ed: Sure, help yourself. Right click on the picture>select Save image as…>navigate to My Pictures>name file at the bottom of the new window and make sure you’re in the My Pictures folder>Save

Remember what you named it and what folder you saved it in.)



Longest Happy Hour in the Keys” , is next to “Free Beer Tomorrow”. Remember that place on Stock Island?

[Organizer Wanted] I don’t know who to ask for help. I have a house full of stuff I no longer need. I am too tired and old to sort through it and either box it up and donate it, sell it or have a yard sale. I checked the classified and business sections of the Coconut Telegraph but I’m not sure if I need a cleaning service or what? Not nearly enough stuff to call the Hoarders Show, but I do need a professional organizer.



All the secret spirits recognize those who fast.

Summer scientist studies sharks, squids, and Donkey Dung Sea Cucumbers.  Link

isaksen-flood 4.23.13

[Legalize it!] Medical marijuana has a new high profile advocate. Please read this, and let’s Stop the Reefer Madness! Most medicine is derived from a plant. Try & be more open-minded and listen to the doctor. Link


It’s kind of funny when people reach out to FEMA for consideration on flood insurance premiums with one hand, then use the other hand to thumb their noses at FEMA’s rules. 

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.     

flappers2 an



The spirit of an age is something to which one cannot return. This spirit gradually dissipates is due to the world coming to an end. For this reason, although one would like to change today’s world back to the spirit of years ago, it cannot be don. Thus it is important to make the best out of every generation.

Russia passes Anti-Gay laws prohibiting any gay-rights protests. There are no gay people in Russia. ha

[Key Deer Zoo] Fence the refuge so the deer are protected from the rest of the animals on BPK!




Rednecks think only those proposing war and bombing others are patriotic. It’s time we make this misconception known.

[Wiretapping Americans] The Right only thinks they need protect the 2d Amendment. The rest they don’t think should be defended, in particular the 4th. The one about privacy … remember?

thats all folks writing an

[Folks] Okay, folks. I finally must respond to the person who dislikes the word folks so much that he or she reminds us of this dislike at least once a month. The latest post, on Friday, really was insulting and, in my opinion, way off-base and just plain wrong. The dictionary definition is correct, not the bassist view expressed by the writer. The dictionary reads the “Informal. People in general. Used as a friendly form of address to a group of people. A member of one’s family, esp. parents.

So, in a friendly and informal message to all people in general reading this: “That’s All Folks!!” (My folks approve of this message).

[Vietnam War] This war was about a resource. The resource was natural rubber. The large tire manufacturers had huge rubber tree plantations in Southeast Asia. The VC and NVA could escape into the rubber plantations because we would not bomb the resource. Hence they were in safe haven.

[Crumbling Bridge] Amazingly enough, as I was driving by Pigeon Key I looked down and saw a few people there, always a rare occurrence.  I guess they were the handful of kids on their science field trip that made  front page news here,  as well it should because the place is usually deserted.  

How sweet,  but still nowhere near enough activity to justify spending $20 million taxpayer dollars to re-build the Pigeon Key – Old Seven Mile Bridge from the seabed on up and then have County residents continue paying to maintain it forever.   The sad part is that even after the money is spent there still won’t be anyone on Pigeon Key because tourists just aren’t interested enough to take the time to go there.




[Heavy Stuff]  One should not look for anything else in the Way of the Samurai. It is the same for anything else that is called the way. If one understands things in this manner, he should be able to hear about all Ways and be more and more in accord with his own.

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.    

Climate change deniers read it and weep. Link



That’s why my damn fruit cost so much!


[Grinder Pumps] Did the The Sir Isaac Newton Coalition (SINC) go belly up like someone mentioned?  Do I get my 100 dollars back?

[Guns] If people on foodstamps have to take drug tests, than people who want to buy a gun should have to take a psychological evaluation.



Hey kid, your diaper is full!

[Free Booze For All] An ounce of booze costs $1.00 x 24 oz in a 5th = $24.00 x the bars profit margin = $5.00 per OZ per drink – booze, overhead and mixers = Avg $3.50 profit per OZ or $84.00 per bottle profit. Then you wonder why nobody comes to the Keys?

nira tocco realtor 9.12
[Serve and Protect] This is what a police state looks like. Video
taco11[Phony Fish Report] All this talk about fresh fish in the Keys hit home today when we stopped into Lupita’s Mexican Restuarant in Key West and ordered fish tacos. What we were served looked and tasted like Gordon’s fish sticks in a taco shell. We were told it was Mahi. Excuse me? does Gordon’s use Mahi for their fish sticks? Having had the real thing from Baja to Panama I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I guess some places think you can fool some of the tourists all the time. “Oh, what the hey, who cares if they don’t come back, someone else will walk through the door. That’s why we started a business in a tourist rich environment.” 
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.  



US military base in Africa, Camp Lemonier, Djibouti, featuring the same big birds as practicing touch and goes at our own Boca Chica on a daily and nightly basis. (Redux with accurate photo)


Biggest Slip N’ Slide Loop. Video



[Sombrero Beach] Are you kidding me? Where are the beaches to patrol? Please steal the iPods and other county equipment, it’s cheaper than wasting money on this. This is a slap in the face and a frivolous waste of taxpayers money. They are now just saying “Hey look at what we got”. I wish I could afford a $50,000 dollar toy!

To the person who said on here that you know “climate change is real because you feel this in your heart”, I have a feeling that you are going to catch Hell for that!

raiford11My friend Raiford Starke showed up at our gig Friday night. We did a full set of Led Zeppelin and Hendrix stuff. His ex wife is my maillady. He was back in the Keys briefly to take his kid on the long road trip to college. He and my guitarist are all ex- Big Dick And The Extenders. Find him at

Raiford Starke – Girl From Immokalee

If Keys Weekly doesn’t carry a crossword no more, I ain’t carrying it home no more.

[No Electric] Someone asked what would happen if all the electric shut down for the Keys. It is a scary thought to realize that everything we do depends of those wires feeding that juice to us. Everything. Water, food, fuel, flushing, driving, communications, information, everything. Without it there is no pumping of anything. No refrigerators, no hospitals, no cops, no nothing. And the genset will only last until the gas runs out. Click!

tarps bungee cords

[“Climate change”] Geo Science is a rag owned by the Koch brothers and the Bush family. The earth is getting warmer, not what the scientists say- I can just feel it. I dismiss all of the denier scientists because I am smarter.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.     

[Med Mar] CNN’s Dr. Gupta Switches Sides. This week everyone is talking about Dr. Sanjay Gupta. If you haven’t heard the news, CNN’s medical spokesperson, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, moved 180 degrees on medical marijuana. Dr. Gupta bought the DEA’s lies, was vocal in his opposition to cannabis reforms, and believed cannabis was Schedule 1 for good reasons.

After thousands of letters, Dr. Gupta decided to actually look at the evidence. Here is a clip of the heavily talked about interview Dr. Gupta did on Piers Morgan Live. Video

wallet ct11

religion politics zone

[“Rush Limbaugh said, “Obama’s appearance on Leno diminished the office of the presidency. But when Romney went on, it was transcendent.”] The distinction is that Romney isn’t and wasn’t President.

To me the highlight of last week’s Obama speech was when he asked why Republicans are so against getting healthcare for the rest of the 35,000,000 uninsured Americans. That said it all.

That’s all I care about. Making sure all Americans are insured. That’s a big bonus for being an American. Add that on to our freedom of speech, guns, security and laws and that’s one hell of a good package. Obamacare is American and will work. The rest is in the details. We all know that, but we also know those details can be fixed. We’re Americans.

The next thing we need to add to that great package is term limits to clean out deadwood politicians. Let’s not actually call it a coup d’tat, but that’s the final thing we need to make us proud again. 


[Privacy] Have you called yo wife lately? Obama has!

[Boycott Florida by Jessie Jackson] The Reverend Jesse Jackson, in the wake of the Trayvon Martin verdict, made this proclamation several days ago- “I want all African Americans to know that it is time to boycott the whole state of Florida! No concerts, conventions or ball games. No vacations in the sunshine state and no orange juice. Stay away from Florida. Boycott anything from Florida!”

Fox News noted that almost instantly, the property values in Florida shot up and vacation spots began to sell out. The crime rate is expected to continue to fall to record lows until the boycott is over. (Ed: I know, I shouldn’t have posted it.)



Sunnis and Shiites in IRAQ celebrated the end of the holy month of Ramadan by killing almost 70 people. I guess when you can’t kill each other in the name of Allah for 30 days, it just gets to you!

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 


You have to love the fact that the embassies closed for a little while and that the terrorist who love to celebrate their attacks with other attacks on anniversary days were not able to kill 1 American or attack 1 embassy. Meanwhile the drones were doing their job and continued taking out numbers of Americas enemies during that time. The embassies are opening back up again.

Now you know why the right is so upset about the embassy closings.

The terrorist will continue trying to find targets and will at times have a bit of success but they damn sure lost this round. Im sure somehow, someway or for whatever reason the right will spin this into “Obama followed the rights lead”.

Reality is the right has been whining about the embassies closing since the idea came up.

Does White House want to say who lives where in America? Nanny State? Link

GOP vows to kill Obamacare: will we let them? The Republican strategy is clear – undermine Obamacare by any means necessary, complain how it doesn’t work, campaign against it in the 2014 midterm Congressional election and the 2016 presidential election, and win control of Congress and the White House thanks to disgruntled voters unhappy with the results of health-care reform. Link

from the right

“Phony scandals…..phony distractions”, for the last couple of weeks Obama and his flacks have trumpeted that mantra from any media soap box that they could find.  It always starts out with the arrogant gimcrack “phony scandals…..phony distractions” and then pivots onto an attack onto the Republican Party. It’s all very cleverly devised to divert your attention from the real problems that plaque us. It makes you wonder what part of the 4 dead Americans at Benghazi because of political considerations, the warrantless government examination of your electronic communications, or using the IRS as political storm troopers is nothing but a phony scandal…..phony distraction. Obama alone has used the “phony scandal” nonsense at least seven times over the past 20 days, and that is only Obama, not his acolytes.

But, it is not working.

It’s comforting to know that there are still many Americans who treasure the Constitution, that’s evidenced by the poll about the IRS scandal that just showed that a meager 33% agree that there’s nothing to worry about … but 59% disagree. Nearly 60% of us believe that using the IRS as a political weapon is a genuine, serious problem. It is an assault on our freedoms. That will get even worse for Team Obama given the Friday news that nothing has changed, the Tea Party is still being targeted by the IRS. Plus we’ve just learned that the IRS executive who is in charge of the program has been promoted.

78 percent of voters think the questions over the administration’s handling of the terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi should be taken seriously and rigorously investigated. Just 17 percent call it a phony scandal.  The public is deeply worried about the allegations that Team Obama purposefully put our State Department personnel in deadly peril for strictly political purposes. And then, lied about it.

warrent1169 percent of voters say the National Security Agency’s electronic warrantless surveillance of everyday Americans is serious, while only 26 percent call that a fake scandal.  By a margin of 59-31 percent, voters are also more likely to view the seizure of reporters’ phone records by the Justice Department as serious rather than phony.

But, without a doubt the biggest scandal that now exists is the fact that so many people are on welfare, unemployment, food stamps, etc.  While you’re thinking about that, please consider that on the last business day of July, there were 3.9 million unfilled jobs in America.  Please then think about the fact that in July of 2010, one year after the end of the recession, there were only 2.6 million jobs unfilled. So here we are, with Democrat governance, years after the end of the recession, and there are 1.3 million more jobs unfilled. Link 

Please remember only about 162k hires occurred in July. A huge segment of our population has been convinced that it’s better to be dependent on the government for sustenance than it is to work for a living and to live within their means.

It’s no wonder that Mr. Obama’s Gallup approval rating has plummeted to 41%. That’s a tie for the low.

Part2) It seems that every day we learn of more outrageous flaws in the Affordable Health Care Act that was foisted on us by our Democrat friends. As more and more is learned about it, more and more eyes are being opened. Certainly you’ll remember the controversy about the panels that will exist so as to decide who gets health care and how much.  Now, even many Democrats are getting upset about those panels.

dean11Even Howard Dean, former Chair of the Dem Party and Presidential candidate, is speaking out against them.  Dean has essentially admitted the Republicans were right and is calling for the repeal of the Independent Payment Advisory Board (IPAB). In a Wall Street Journal op-ed last Monday he called the IPAB “essentially a health-care rationing body” that he believes will fail. The IPAB is the “Death  Panel” that the Democrats loved to ridicule. Today that ridicule rings hollow.

Then there is the fact that a wave of Democrats, over the past three months, have signed on to bills repealing the board’s powers, including Sen. Mark Pryor (Ark.) and Reps. Ron Barber (Ariz.), Ann Kirkpatrick (Ariz.), Kyrsten Sinema (Ariz.) and Elizabeth Esty (Conn.). It’s reported that at least 20 Democrat legislators are on board in ditching the board, good for them.

Respectfully submitted: