2014 April

Thursday, April 10, 2014

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002
No Saturday Edition



This is for all the haters, those who think listening to Angels somehow makes you cuckoo.  How many of you go to church? With the abundance of churches in Key West it’s most likely a lot of you.  Do you pray while in church?  Do you pray when not in church?  How many have said, “Get me past this God and I’ll never do it again”?

Well now, when you pray, you are talking to God!  Why is talking to God any different than the Angels?  I think that means anyone who prays to God must also be cuckoo.  But then in my experience, most church goers don’t really believe.  They just want to cover their asses just in case.  If they truly believed they would live their lives differently.  There would be no greed in Key West. There would be no corruption in Key West.  There would be no homeless problem in Key West.  Charles Eimers would still be alive.

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[Easy Home Fries] Wash, dry and then microwave 4 potatoes for about 20 minutes or whatever your potato setting suggests. Allow them to cool and then refrigerate to harden. Next time when you want home fries for breakfast, warm up some olive oil in a pan. Then using a sharp knife, slice the potatoes lengthwise, turn on their side and again cut lengthwise and then chop crosswise to make flat-like cubes. Lightly season one side with Lawry’s Season Salt, then push off the cutting board into the warm pan and lightly season the other side. Cover, heat on medium, toss and and cook until crispy brown on both sides. If done right, both the fries and your omelet, cooked in another pan, come out done at about the same time. A little chopped green pepper and onion wouldn’t hurt either.

Bonus if your pans are clean and your toast pops up hot just when you’re about to walk away to enjoy.

[Knife Nuts] A16 year old Pennsylvania boy went on a rampage with two knives cutting 22 schoolers. He was a loner who didn’t even have a cellphone. A teenager with no cellphone? Definitely crazy.



The guys who collect our trash are not garbage people.   They are sanitation engineers.

[Whose Money] People of the Keys, especially contractors, need to know that county money is always and forever county money, even if used as payment for goods or services. At least that’s what Roman Gastesi says. Read all about it Link
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monitor head geek


The next meeting of our computer club is coming up this Saturday, April 12, 10 am at the Big Pine senior center. Hope to see you there. Events

Sloan Bashinsky did a very good job of summarizing the Big Pine Key AARP sewer presentation. Some may mock him, but you should read Wednesday’s post on  Pretty succinct and lawyerly. He drove up from Key West to attend and ask questions about the 1200 grinder pumps FKAA wants to foist on us. You have to admire him for that. I attended also and we did not get many answers from the County’s engineer that made me feel comfortable with this scheme. No recent environmental studies for instance.

One thing he did not mention is that the County’s engineer said that all FKAA sewer customers will pay the same basic rates regardless of whether they have a grinder pump or a gravity system. This means that you, even if you have the better gravity system, will pay for what appears to be a second class system prone to failure and expensive maintenance when the gravity systems are much simpler and almost fool proof. So get ready for that bill. Then wait for you neighbor’s pump to fail and spread raw sewage all over your property.

Meanwhile, to begin his presentation last night, Kevin Wilson said he did not work for FKAA, but he worked for Monroe County and was the County’s engineer in charge of the County’s end of bringing Cudjoe Regional online. Kevin said he was a chemical engineer, had no degree in waste water engineering. No one from FKAA was there, which the Chapter President explained later in the meeting was due to his only having invited Kevin, whom he had introduced as FKAA’s engineer in charge of Cudjoe Regional.


[Water Quality] Everyone acknowledges that the interaction between water quality and coral reefs, seagrasses and marine creatures in the Florida Keys is a complicated issue. Climate-change, land-based sources of pollution, habitat loss and destruction, and overfishing all contribute to the health of local waters.

Recognizing the importance of water quality, Last Stand and Everglades Law Center will hold two free forums in April, bringing together a panel of water quality, hydrology and coral reef experts to examine the science behind what is occurring and what is being planned to improve water quality in the Keys. Link 



“Fat Free potato person”] “I know that post was satirical” That post was not satirical at all. They were purchased from Publix in Marathon and were the worst potatoes I’ve ever had. Just like the paste you used to eat in kindergarten.

[Grinder Pumps] I was told people still do not understand that whether you get a gravity connection or a grinder pump station in your yard, you are still being served by an E-one brand grinder pump. If you get a gravity connection it will cost you less to connect and you will not have to give up property rights and privacy, which is a really big deal. But don’t think you can flush for long when the power is out. The gravity pipes all go to an overgrown manhole with 3 to 5 residential grinder pumps in it. FKAA does not have and will never have enough people and generators to keep those pump stations and the grinders pumped out in a power failure. Worse, on those days when the roads are full, so are the pipes carrying your poop to Cudjoe. As a matter of fact, they are so full that the poop can’t get through those pipes because mistakes were made in design. The pumps can’t pump and there are back-ups and poop running out of the pump station and into your canal. If your canal is a plugged swimming canal, you will not want to swim in your new cess pit for a long while. The only ones making out on this central sewer system are the grinder pump salesman and whoever he paid off.

Dump the Pumps will file a legal protest against the Big Pine north permit Friday. It will halt construction pending a legal hearing. Please help them pay the legal expenses to make it stick. Donation details are on their web site The legal protest is already prepared and they are just getting the attachments ready now. It will be available to view on the website once DEP and FKAA have received their copies.Hang in there and don’t surrender any easements! We’re with you.


[Sloan Responds To His Critic] It is true, I have used foul language many times in posts at my websites, which posts were linked to the Coconut Telegraph by Deer Ed pursuant to a financial arrangement between him and me – sort of like the financial arrangement between Ed and From the Right, except Ed publishes From the Right’s stuff entirely, but only posted teasers with links to my posts.

After the attacks began, I sometimes responded directly to the Coconut Telegraph, as a reader, separate from my financial arrangement with Deer Ed, who editorially responded to complaints about me from some readers, that he wished he had other writers like me and From the Right, but he did not see that happening.

Bad words are part of life, I hear them all the time, including from kids. I bet you’d love the movie by that name, now showing at Tropic Cinema in Key West. It also is true that I have posted erotic photos at my websites from time to time, and I have posted erotic art work, some other people’s, some my own.  I never claimed to be saint, and told plenty on myself at my websites, and on the Coconut Telegraph, to prove I was not. I busted plenty of religious people, too, for claiming they were gonna die and go to heaven, while all others who did not share their peculiar beliefs would die and burn in hell forever. I told them they were listening to the Devil.  I love the critic’s use of the royal we. Sounds Legion.  Even more, I love “We still work for a living and run a business, we don’t want our personal names out there mixed up with your BS and your imagined vendettas, it might affect our livelihood.”

Gosh, I must have a hell of a big following for you to be worried about putting your name on what you write about me affecting your livelihood.  Whatever, I absolutely deserve to be called out when I publish something which is not true. A number of my friends have witnessed my distress over learning I published something not true. Whenever someone tells me something I published is not true, I publish what the person told me, and if it was told to me in an email, I publish the email. I’m glad to hear it was my publishing untruths, which got you so upset with me. I was left with the impression is was a bit broader than that. I hardly think I was alone in having that impression.

I bet you’d have loved my comments at the Big Pine Senior Citizen Center meeting this past Tuesday night, when Monroe County’s engineer Kevin Wilson fielded questions from seniors about grinder pump vs. gravity sewer system. I reported that meeting Wednesday at

You’re still a coward, but that’s okay, you have plenty of company. A number of angry Dump the Pumps people, for example, don’t want it known they are part of Dump the Pumps. They don’t want their names on any lawsuit filed. A number of them signed FKAA’s easement agreement against their own lawyer’s advice, as well as against my advice, which ended their standing to complain about getting a grinder pump.

I actually despise being a trust fund baby, but the angels running me seem to like me being unable to make a living wage doing what I know how to do. They have me blocked from making a living wage. That once led to my being homeless, which was a barrel of laughs. Some years later, my father died, I received an inheritance, and I wasn’t homeless any longer. Then, the angels really poured it on, not apparently wanting me to rest or have fun.

Fortunately, God decides who among us do well, and who do not. Otherwise, we’d all probably end up burning in hell forever. I usually don’t wish for other people to have such an experience, it would be cruel to wish it onto anyone else, but in your case, I think it just might do you a world of good. Not my call, though.  ~Sloan Bashinsky


[Gas App] Can I share with my fellow posters a neat app that I discovered for my phone? GasBuddy.  It tells you the gas prices of the gas stations nearby where you are.  High to low. Easy shopping I think. Link

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The problem with political jokes is they get elected.



Does anyone know who rescreens porches? I tried one local guy on Big Pine, but he never showed up. I know, “welcome to island time”, but don’t people need money to live? You show up, do the job and get paid. What am I missing? Business Directory > Home Improvement

Attention  Audubon Society:   I received your email address from Charles Lee, Director of Advocacy and I received your book of 25 year plan for restoration of the area from Cudjoe Key to Big Pine Key from Vicky Johnston.  I also spoke with scientist Paul Fresce in Tavernier.  I am an officer of Dump the Pumps fighting against putting grinder pumps in peoples yards .  These pumps are not explosion proof and in Big Pine inland areas will have disturbances of the fresh water lens.  

There are many issues making Eone grinder pumps a very bad idea for use in our environment for both people and animal life.  We are currently over 350 strong with attorneys as well as a petition with over 1,300 residents.  We  are asking that you look over our website  and hopefully offer your support on this since it could very well undermine some of your efforts over the years to right the environmental wrongs.

Who is the developer of the new Lucky’s Landing development on Little Torch Key? Is it owned or financed by a local company or person? Who is making the profit from it?
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[Paint] Keep looking, you’ll see it.

[“Marine gas higher”] Actually marine gas is less expensive to produce than similar octanes. The difference is that marine gas, usually around 90 octane, is ethanol free. Since ethanol costs more than the gas it is being added to (E-10), it should cost less to produce than E-10.

Hopefully one day our politically correct Govt. will stop the feel good policy of mandating ethanol in gas. It is less efficient, destructive to the engines, environmentally destructive to produce and it drives up the cost of food.

If they insist on E-10 or the soon to be E-15 they should let us import ethanol from abroad where we can get if much cheaper than from subsidized American farmers. It’s a racket and the law must change or get rid of ethanol altogether.

[Grinder Pumps] I was talking to a property owner who is getting gravity sewers about grinder pumps and he said, “Oh, I think I heard something about that?” That’s the problem, once someone hears that they are getting gravity they stop paying attention and could care less about the rest of you unfortunates. I told him that if they put the grinder pumps in the right-of-way we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.



Found. A perfectly good large all red, tail light lens for the right side of vehicle along Key Deer Blvd. Call Classified Ads > Lost & Found

[Women Are Unique] Husband’s text message: Honey, a car has hit me outside of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head has been very strong, fortunately it seems that did not cause any serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife’s Response: Who is Paula?

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Happy Thursday from Springers Bar and Grill. Today we have a great special for you, Sausage, peppers and onions on a hoagie roll. So join us for this totally delicious palate pleasing special.

Friday: Mahi with a capered butter cream sauce.

There’s always something special at Springers.

[Police Kills Suspect] If anyone knows of photos of the three officers who held Mr. Eimber’s face into the beach sand until his death and knows how to post them, I would like to see who they are. And please FDLE do not take this killing lightly. You may be wined and dined by Chef Lee and be pressured into the good old boy syndrome here in the Keys, but it’s your duty to do the right thing.
When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

garbage man emptying to truck


The garbage man comes at different times to let us sleep! The darn trucks are loud so a few mornings he comes to us at 6 am and next time he starts elsewhere and comes to us at 11. It is just fair that we do not get him early every time he picks up.

Confucius Say:
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night..
It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Finally Confucius Say: A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!

second-nature 760w
[Antecedent] In last sentence of what I submitted yesterday, “such an experience” should be “such an experience as mine” I did not mean to imply he/she should die and burn in hell for ever, which is the immediate antecedent.
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cat  ak47


Repeatedly firing off deadly weapons outdoors in a dense residential neighborhood may be one man’s idea of liberty but it is and always will be another man’s idea of insanity.  

If some small group of legislators created the law that allows this,  then shame on any cowardly legislators that will not band together to uncreate it.  I think that this important issue should come to a public vote and go stuff your 2nd Amendment crapola on this one.  And what was the Genesis of this law in the first place? I realize even mentioning gun control is political suicide, but right is right.

[Monroe County’s Canal Restoration] What does this really mean? Will they dredge the canals and the accesses to them so my 40′ Bertram can get into my dock? Do they make aluminum boat lift for 40’ers? How many boats can I park at my dock? Will the new homes(?) on the Torch Keys have deep wawa access soon? Who do we pay off for these services?
[Fuel prices] The professional fishing guys who supply food to us need a break on pricing if they are not already getting pro discounts, but the charter boats and sports fishermen are not needed for anything important except supporting themselves. Tourist and joy riders also should pay a fuel fee to keep the prices down for the pros.



[Captain Doom and Gloom] It is a riot to read people who think what they spout off in a post will make a difference with the Monroe County Bureaucrats. Nothing you say will deter them from their goal of profiteering and developmental tactics. Like the one poster said, ‘Private vs. Public jobs has completely turned around’. Follow the money.  These Keys days are numbered and that number is getting smaller by the minute! Where to next?

“Boycott Shell” This is about food store discounts and other lost leader BS price fixing. If you do not have a food store discount card, you pay full fuel prices. It is all another con!

(Ed: National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.)
Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil. I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here

Yesterday a poster wrote in part: “…..I will from time to time send you informative and accurate information with regards to the lefts corruption of science for ideological purposes. This is the most tragic consequence of modern leftism. Most all scientific inquiry of the millennium will be put in a box with a giant asterisk. Is it ideological or is it science?…..”

FTR’s RESPONSE. Thank you. I appreciate your comments and look forward to receiving your input. Deer Friends, I urge you to take the time to read the link that was supplied by the poster. Link

The other day a poster wrote: “U better have a note from a Doctor. I hate this having to make my own decisions.”

FTR’s RESPONSE: If you hate making your own decisions, then the Democrat Party is a perfect fit for you.

from the right

Team Obama has decided to punt on scheduled cuts to the very popular Medicare Advantage program because they were afraid of the political impact of the growing anger among older voters. The Government Accountability Office, has reported that if Obamacare’s Medicare cuts don’t get implemented, instead of decreasing deficits, the law would increase long-term deficits by $6.2 trillion. Translation: If Team Obama doesn’t steal even more from Medicare, the cost of Obamacare and our debt will skyrocket. And don’t forget that it will be yet another Obama promise broken, please remember the promise that the ACA will drive down the deficit. You can be rock solid certain that Obama will do nothing until after the midterm elections. Then the old farts that rely on Medicare Advantage will get royally screwed.

We’ve now know that the Obamacare websites signed up about 7.1 million Americans. We know that only somewhere around a third of those were previously uninsured. Please remember that the whole idea was to insure the uninsured. Team Obama estimated that number at as much as 48 million. The number of previously uninsured sign ups on the Obamacmare website is abysmal and proves the folly of the entire affair. Charlie Crist believes that Medicare Advantage benefits should be cut.

But it gets even worse. In addition to the Obamacare website, there were a number of exchanges that also permitted “signing up.” The Rand Corporation, on Tuesday released a study that revealed that 1.4 million is out of a total of 3.9 million exchange enrollees overall. That is to say, a little over a third of enrollees—36 percent—were previously uninsured. That too is horrible.

That’s far from what the Congressional Budget Office has projected; the CBO estimated that 80 to 90 percent of the first-year enrollees would come from the previously uninsured population. Instead, it appears to be more like 24 to 36 percent. The law is a failure, an abject failure, it is not accomplishing a damned thing.  Charlie Crist loves it.

And it just keeps getting worse. Health insurance premium are skyrocketing according to a brand new survey of insurance brokers. In Delaware they are up 100%. In California 53%. In Florida 37%. And in Penn, 28%. Health insurance premiums are showing the sharpest increases perhaps ever according to a survey of brokers who sell coverage in the individual and small group market. Read all about it at Link

Did I mention that Charlie Crist loves Obama and his namesake, Obamacare?

National Politics. Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil.  I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here