2014 April

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002
No Saturday Edition

baconmm9Mars, Inc., maker of M&M’s, pulled what many have called a “cruel” gag on bacon fans on April Fools’ Day, announcing to Facebook fans its newest addition to the M&M lineup — bacon. Fans erupted with a mix of anger and sadness, many quickly realizing the announcement was nothing more than a cruel joke. Several hours later the company came clean with its joke and unveiled its newest real addition to the M&M flavor family – birthday cake. However, the uproar and possibility of bacon M&M’s still hasn’t died down. In fact the bacon M&M hoax has overshadowed the birthday cake release.

Fans are still clamoring for bacon M&M’s, including several comments made in the last several hours:
“Dear Delightful Candy Maker, the outpouring of interest in what was a prank should show you that the people want your bacon m&m’s. Please look into making this a reality. Yours truly” one fan wrote on the company’s Facebook page. “Bacon m&ms now!” added a fan. “Bacon! bacon! bacon! Give them a try!” another urged.

Time will tell if Mars, Inc. listens to its customers but until then, bacon fans can still dream.

[Conspiracy] Where have all the conspiracy theorists gone? And who took them?
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real bee flying 292h

There  is only 1 gene that separates the queen bee from the others.

What happens if the sewer guys start sticking in Grinder Pumps where we do not want them? Can I call the cops to Stop Work? Can I sue the sewer guys, the water company? Or are we locals just the sheep we are made out to be?
[Movies] Dead people in movies always have their eyes open. Someone slides their palm over the dead’s face and magically the eyes close.


[Fashion Police] You know that if you keep clothes long enough they come back in style. Not my cuffed pants, though I’m sure as soon as I throw them out they’ll be back in style. Remember when blue jeans were always turned up at the cuff in the 1950s? Now it’s girl’s skinny pants that turn up the cuffs.

Bacon prices rise after virus kills baby pigs. Oh, the humanity!
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Happy Hump Day from Springers Bar and Grill. Today’s comfort food special is mac-and-cheese-ham9. It’s sure to fill the belly and warm the soul. It’s one of Miss Virginia’s favorites and sure to be one of yours.

This weeks Specials:
Sandwich Thursday: Sausage, peppers& onions
Friday: Mahi with a capered butter cream sauce.

There’s always something special at Springers.

[“Boycott Shell”] I get that marine gas is higher than regular gas because of the smaller volume produced and all the inefficiencies. And I also get why the price on the water is more expensive (it’s pretty proportional to the amount of fuel they can buy – they don’t have huge gas station tanks to get the big discounts). But I don’t understand why the Shellopoly in the lower Keys is charging 15% more than Marathon. This weekend the price difference was about 75 cents! I have totally boycotted the Shell stations in the lower Keys. The gas is cheaper north and south of us. That really makes no sense at all, except that we’re getting gouged. This is America – vote with actions, not words. 

Another Hidden Tax? FKAA participates in various parades and community events as a public relations effort to help mitigate the distress they cause with things like forcing grinder pumps on unwilling homeowners. Your water and sewer rates pay for the employee’s time spent participating instead of doing what they were hired to do and presumably needed for. The Chamber of Commerce is sponsoring a golf event for a scholarship fund and FKAA will be there. Its all well and good if you wish to participate and donate, but your “donation” is often involuntary.

Here’s what it costs you in rates: “An employee may be granted time off during a regular work day at one and one-half hours administrative leave per hour worked at a community event.”


[Paranoia?] Please do not be so naive to think that the license plates for the vehicles parked in the parking lots for the NOAA Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary SAC meetings (Sanctuary Advisory Council) are not run by the authorities to see who you are.

Note to people who are intending to make public comment against any of the agencies including FWC and their ilk, Please have someone drop you off at the front door and park elsewhere. I know from where I speak.

Finding out that the Bone Island Triathlon is cancelled and has “closed”, but I’m wondering how you do just that when the event was in January? Hearing from volunteer organizations that no money was given out to some who graciously volunteered their times and efforts. Sad, huh?

[Control Mosquito Control] I attended Mosquito Control District meeting last month, on the agenda was the item Update on Position and Pay scale Changes for Employee Manual (Holden).  One problem was the figures and comparisons shown only covered other counties, City of Key West, Keys Energy, and FKAA.  What about a comparison of private and other public sectors to give a complete picture?

“As of May 2012, “the Bureau of Labor Statistics found that on average, workers employed by federal, state and local governments made more than those employed by the private sector an average of $7,240 per year more.”

In my findings of 2013, employers in private industry spent an average of $29.63 per employee hour worked, but the equivalent cost for a government worker averaged $42.89 per hour.  Government employees average 33% higher pay than those in the private sector; their pension and retirement benefit costs are now an incredible 254% higher also.

Private vs. Public jobs has completely turned around, private sector always made more money, but had fewer benefits, and public sector had the benefits, but less pay per hour.  This is not the case anymore. Salaries in the public sector are becoming excessive as compared to private sector. This observable fact is rampant throughout Monroe County, Keys Energy, FKAA, KLWTD, Police, Fire Departments, State and Federally, it is widespread across the board and how long can this continue?  When are we going to put our foot down and say enough is enough?


[Topless Quarter Pounders With Cheese] Topless woman ransacks McDonald’s. Check this out quick before it gets pulled. Video

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[“Boycott Shell”] You don’t have to boycott the Big Pine Shell because half their pumps don’t work anyway, so it’s difficult to buy gas even if you wanted to. They should fix the fence too. It looks like a dump.

Keys-for-Peace[Keys to Peace Raises Over $1,300 for Good Health Clinic] Keys to Peace has donated $1,306 to the Good Health Clinic. All monies were raised through sales of raffle tickets. Kathy Whitehurst was the winner of the “Positivity” peace bell created from a recycled scuba tank, painted by local artist Mike Willcox, and blessed by Tibetan Buddhist monks. Generous local community members have been purchasing the tickets since January 2013 at events including Art Under the Oaks, Woofstock, and the Key Largo Bridge Run Expo.

Keys to Peace, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to creating a more compassionate, peaceable, and sustainable Florida Keys community through education, affiliation, and innovation.

Pictured left to right: Keys to Peace board members Diane Messer and Denise Downing, Good Health Clinic staff member Karen Haymore, Keys to Peace board member Nancy Joe, Good Health Clinic board member David DeHaas, and Kathleen Rourke.

[“Key West vs Monroe County commissioners”] I really am missing the point on that post. They are separate entities, the commissioners are on separate commissions.

So if the US Senate has 100 Senators and the US population is 100x bigger than Monroe County, does that mean we should only have 1 commissioner? Key West could have 50 commissioners, they still don’t have a say on Monroe County governance. What am I missing?

[Passion] It’s sad how passionate love can turn to blinding hate in just an instant. Both being  extreme emotions probably have something to do with it.



[“Ridiculous fat free potato person”]  I know that post was satirical and a bunch of CT readers fell for it.

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[“Boat lift question”] Most lifts, for the last 20 years, come with a remote control. This, at least, explains how it could be done — raising it after you lower the boat and evacuate the lifting arms.


[Sloan for Mayor] Insanity in Key West?  A wise man described insanity as trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  Perfect description of the voters in Key West.  It’s time to try something new.  Some people criticize Sloan for taking his instructions from the angels.  The say he’s cuckoo.  Well,  would you prefer a mayor who takes his instructions from angels, or a mayor who takes his instructions from a few elite rich?  I prefer the man hearing from the angels.  Too bad the commission doesn’t listen to the angels.

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[Boat Lift Conundrum answer] Remote controls. Everyone I know with a boat lift has one – just like a garage door opener.

[Technical Sewer Jargon] Why is this? FKAA could have run a 2″ forcemain from Narcissus and Pine to the US FWS at the end of Watson, complete with the flushout connection and ball valve, for about $16,618 and picked up about 5 EDU. They spent about $38,000 per single EDU to provide a gravity connection to the houses on the previous FKAA Executive Director’s street and for some of George Neugent’s buddies nearby. So FKAA could have connected the US FWS for less than 9% of what they spent to connect others, per EDU. Instead, they left them with an on-site treatment system, right next to Pine Channel! Maybe US FWS told them to stuff their grinder pump?

tech talk9LKCC’s first-ever Business WalkAbout today, Wednesday, April 9 from 11 am – 6 pm at Boondocks. This is an opportunity to showcase your business.   For all of you who are baffled by the speed at which the Internet is moving, is holding “mini-nars” on the following topics:

-Social Media Essentials – Best practices, which platforms to focus your time on, how to use it to help your business.
-Google Analytics – Why you need it, how it works, & what it can do for you.
-Search Engine Marketing – Leveraging  search engines to create new business.
-The Importance of Mobile – Growth of mobile devices.
-Local Search Management – What is it?  Why you need it.
-Tourist Specific Advertising – What is available to you through FKDC 

Topless woman destroys Florida McDonald’s. She does seem upset. Video
second-nature 760w

[Sloan Critic] Sloan, we haven’t gone anywhere.  We didn’t read and respond to your posts because we liked them, we responded out of duty to our fellow man and community not to allow your untruths and misguided assumptions, and beyond illogical commentary to misinform the public about issues you were posting about. We wanted the CT community to have the facts as we could disseminate simply in such a limited forum, and the unbiased summary of the issue.  We deal in facts, not innuendo, and supposition.  We view our work as a community service for the ears that are ready to hear. The others will scroll, that is their right.  If you are coming back on CT, you can count on our feedback.  We are not interested in what you believe or don’t believe, or what angel you talked to today, or who you think you are reincarnated as this week:  What we cannot allow to stand unchallenged is lies and twisted half-truths.  We still work for a living and run a business, we don’t want our personal names out there mixed up with your BS and your imagined vendettas, it might affect our livelihood.  We are not a trust-funded ne’r-do-well like yourself.

P.S. to Dear Ed:  You may not have liked our Sloan badminton, but he called us out with his first post today. We have never said anything inappropriate for children, not that I think any read the CT, but he has used foul language many times.  We will not speak out without reason, but only respond to non factual information that he puts out.

garbage truck

Do the garbage people have different drivers every day? I like to put my garbage out as close to pickup time as possible because the critters sometime are able to defeat my precautions and open the lids and spread garbage to the four winds. Sometimes the truck comes at 11am-noon and other times it’s 8am. Must be different drivers.

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My wife asked me why I wanted the FKAA Sewer Hookup going from the street to the house relocated on one side of the property near the property line. I told her it would be safer from getting crushed with all the vehicles we have to park here. She said how long do you think we will want to live here with the development plans the County has for the Keys? Why not do it the cheapest way possible?



[Scam from phony Post Office] The USPS does not email anyone. This is a picture of the scam email that is going around. This will not harm your computer, but the real email, if you open it, will get into your system and do whatever it wants to. Do not click on any part of the real email . Set your ‘block sender’ then delete the email.

Looks like the Ed has put a Fox in charge of the hen house.[?]
(Ed: National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.)
Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil. I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here
from the right

On Monday a poster wrote: I assume the next presidential election will have the Repubs trotting out a new bunch of extremists looneys. They will probably lose the next election unless they can get ,even some, of the middle class and minorities to support their goofy ideas. Only when the Repubs lose the 2018 election will we have immigration reform because by then the Repubs will finally wake up to the the (sic)  fact that they vote and need a voice too.

Another poster wrote: Minorities say Obama has exported 2 mil. illegal aliens. Why is the right so upset? They say that’s what they want, but if a Democrat does it –it’s awful. I’m getting sick of 2-faced repubs.

FTR’S RESPONSE: I suspect that both postings came from the same source, so I’ll give one response to both.  Once again I marvel at the left’s obsession with name calling and insults.

As the November elections draw closer, there are ominous signs for congressional Democrats. The latest Associated Press-GfK poll shows that Republicans have gained on Democrats since January. Thirty-six percent in last month’s poll said they would rather see the Democrats in charge of Congress and 37 percent chose Republicans. Plus Pew Research tells us that Republicans vote at higher rates than Democrats in congressional elections. And at this early stage, that seems likely to happen again, perhaps at an even greater rate than usual. It is nearly certain that the Republicans will hold the House, and it is likely that that the Republicans will gain control of the Senate. Bye Bye Harry Reid.

immigration9The immigration issue is of great interest because the Obama administration has been flummoxing its base on immigration issues. They wish to drink from both sides of the cup. One the one hand they claim record numbers of “deportations”, but the facts don’t match their claims. At the same time they wail for immigration reform.

Team Obama claims to be deporting massive numbers of illegal immigrants. But, Team Obama is being sued by a group of U.S. Immigration and Customs (ICE) agents who are suing the administration over its use of “prosecutorial discretion” in dictating how immigration law is enforced — or not enforced. Their suit, and evidence presented in the suit reveals that the number of illegal-immigrant removals has dropped 40 percent since June 2011. In essence the ICE agents say that they are not being permitted to protect our borders from illegal aliens.

Chris Crane, who heads the union representing more than 7,000 ICE agents and officers, tells NRO that he has long been baffled by the administration’s claims of record deportation numbers. “We just don’t see it in our offices,” he says. “Every year we supposedly break the record for deportation, and we can’t figure out what’s going on. We don’t believe these numbers.”

Administration officials claim to have deported 409,849 immigrants in fiscal year 2012, up from 392,000 in 2010. Crane argues that stats are being cooked to create a false impression of President Obama’s record on immigration enforcement.

In fact, Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson has acknowledged that his department’s deportation numbers are now mostly made up of illegal immigrants caught at the border, not just those from the interior, which means they can’t be compared one-to-one with deportations under prior administrations. Currently if an illegal immigrant is caught crossing the border and simply turned back, Team Obama counts it as a “deportation.”

Please remember that Team Obama brags to one audience that he is deporting record numbers of illegal aliens, yet to Latin audiences he panders for votes by promising them that he is for “reform.”

On Monday another poster wrote:  Jeb Bush is the only possibility for the Republicans to regain the White House. Even though he has the stigma of the Bush name, he is the most centrist republican out there.

jeb9FTR’S RESPONSE: I agree that Jeb Bush would be a formidable Republican candidate and would make a damn fine President, but the Presidential election is more than two years away. The Republicans have a huge field of potential candidates with beliefs that span the entire spectrum of Republicanism. There are very qualified and charismatic female and male governors. There are very qualified and charismatic female and male legislators and individuals from the private sector who might well run.  As to the “stigma” of the Bush name, I respectfully disagree. As we go forward our nation becomes ever more aware how poorly our nation has been governed under Obama and the Democrats, GWB is rapidly becoming a very fond memory.

Part 2) Great news for Governor Scott and his supporters. Governor Scott who lagged behind the very pretty Charlie Crist, has roared ahead. Apparently dedicated Florida voters have discovered that Crist is an empty suit whose only attraction is that he is pretty.

The latest polling reveals that Scott is kicking butt over Crist among Florida voters who say that they are very likely to vote. Scott now leads by a solid 49 – 42, well above the margin of error.

It just keeps getting better, among Hispanics, Scott leads Crist 40-37.

The poll revealed 51 percent of Florida voters would be less likely to cast a ballot for a candidate that supports Obamacare. Only 39 percent of respondents said they would vote for a candidate that supports the law. Please recall that Crist gave Obamacare and Obama a raft of big wet kisses.

The length and breadth of party support is in Scott’s favor.  Scott received 83 percent of Republican votes, while Crist received 80 percent of Democrats.

You really should read the link which has the headline: “Rick Scott Pulls Ahead as Charlie Crist Continues to Fall.” Link

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