2017 April

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures




[Fresh Grouper] Here at Bucktooth Rooster we buy our black grouper from Fishbusterz. Briant is our sales person if you’d like to call and confirm! Grouper comes in six days a week. It’s good looking fish and fresh as can be. I have a feeling the person  who doubts this is probably used to eating the frozen grouper you see around at most restaurants. As far as a local’s restaurant, I would have to say 75% of the people that come in are all from the area and that is increasing as season goes away. I’m pretty sure we hit the mark everybody seems to love the food and portions and prices.  ~Rob DeGennaro owner and Big Pine resident.
[Beef] Have you noticed lately the unbelievable prices advertised in the local flyers? Porterhouse steak $5.99/lb, New York Strip, $4.99, T-bone $5.99, Rib Eyes $5.99. All USDA inspected. I’ve been cooking since I was 6 years old and I haven’t seen prices this low in 10-15 years. There must be a gimmick so I did some calling and found out that this advertised beef is not American beef. It was born and grew up in either Australia or Mexico, then shipped here, inspected by the USDA and sent out for sale. All beef from the USA will say on the label USDA Select, USDA Choice, or USDA Prime. I was under the impression that all foreign food stuffs must have the country of origin advertised, but maybe I’m wrong.
Arts and humanities get at the truth of things – oddly this administration plans to de-fund them.


This golden orb spider is about six inches long and spins a very large web. I haven’t seen them for years, probably since the hurricane. They just started to come back in the last two years. I don’t think they bite, but don’t count on it.

[Publix To Try to Change Laws] How can this be? A Publix on Big Pine?
The Habitat Conservation Plan says NO
The county planners say NO
The traffic surveys say NO
Big Pine zoning rules say NO
The County Commission has said NO to a similar proposal at the True Value Hardware property on Big Pine.Anyone logically assessing the need and value of another giant food store complex on this little island, half of which is Federal Refuge land, and considering the inevitably great traffic increase on US1 at the light (lights?) would say NO.But two Key West businessmen, a lawyer and a land use consultant, employed by the flea market property owners say that the interpretations of existing law are “not quite accurate” and “not exactly correct” Apparently logic has no value when one is trying to pick barely legal holes in the rules and plans laid down by hard work and compromise on all sides over the years so that people might live here in a pleasant environment while making a living.Who benefits? The flea market owners. The developers. Certainly, the lawyers. And all those who may be compensated for their influence to overturn all those NOs.Who does not benefit? We do not benefit. We lose another piece of Big Pine – a very substantial piece

The county commission is expected to act on a request concerning this enormous change on Wednesday in Marathon.
Call them or attend. Make your NO heard.

You’re never too old to make new mistakes.


[Anatomy of a Rock Band]
Bass is the balls
Drums are the heart
Guitar is the soul

[Country Test] How well do you know your country? This is the type of test that the average college student today would have difficulty with. A very interesting test on how well you know your country. The test was designed by Bill O’Reilly (when not busy flirting). There are no trick questions. You should get at least 15 to pass. See how well you do. Take The Test
[Muddied Clean Water Act] The E.P.A., under Scott Pruitt, is taking an equal-opportunity approach to regional cleanup programs, proposing to virtually eliminate and defund all of them: Chesapeake Bay, Gulf of Mexico, Lake Champlain, Long Island Sound, Puget Sound, San Francisco Bay, South Florida, the Great Lakes.
[Reverse Osmosis] I highly recommend that everyone drink water produced by a reverse osmosis filter. The ones that usually install under the kitchen sink can be installed under an elevated house or possibly on the exterior wall of a slab house and will make filter changing easy while not stealing space under the sink. They are a little over $100 for the complete kit but require installation. Most countertop models are pitifully slow, but really cheap at about $80. One with a 1.5 gal reservoir is available for $179 delivered (Link).

Another new countertop model does not need to be near the sink, but does need a 120v power receptacle. It filters in batches with two plastic tanks–one of which you fill from the sink faucet. HSI has an affiliate agreement that offers it for the discounted price of $249 (Link)

Making RO filtered water typically wastes about 4 times the drinking water produced, but it still works out to only about 10 cents per gallon including sewer charges. Add another 5 cents for filter changes. There will be no more lugging of plastic jugs of water up the stairs and no plastic jug taste. Also, no BPA or BPS endocrine disrupter chemicals from clear plastic bottles. Re-purpose glass containers to make your own on-the-go drinking water. You’ll get some wild stares and/or comments if you carry an old vodka bottle to chug RO water from. Or try drinking from a glass white vinegar bottle. (cheap entertainment for you). I like the sturdy 16 oz. flip-top reusable Grolsch beer bottles (from Denmark) as served by Mangrove Mama’s for about $5. Drink the beer there and save the bottle for water on sober days.

[Apostrophes] They’ve caused more arguments, disputes and unfettered violence than every family wedding, christening and funeral put together. Play the Apostrophe Game

Winn Dixie’s new gas rewards program is not so good, but I found a way to save 40 cents a gallon without buying groceries. Just cross the 7 Mile Bridge and fill up. I paid $2.23 up there. The BPK price is $2.75. The W/D program is not designed for us the consumer it is a data aggregator for the companies taking part in the program. The program requires you give your name, phone number and email to sign-up. Your personal data so all the benefits come with a fee–your info. I tried talking to the mangers, I got bag-boy corporate crap. So I sent W/D a letter and got the rules of the game spelled out for me. So I made my choice — Publix.  I’ll just go shop at Publix, buy gas on the way home and take my $250 a week to the green and white store. No cards, just a clean store. If I need something during the week, the drug stores or Murray’s works for me. Can’t wait for Publix on Big Pine
President Trump declared in September 2015, “I am totally giving up my salary if I become president.” He can’t do that. Article II of the Constitution requires a president to be paid: “The President shall, at stated times, receive for his services, a compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that period any other emolument from the United States, or any of them.”
[Vietnam Memorial Wall] A little history most people will never know. Interesting Veterans Statistics off the Vietnam Memorial Wall. There are 58,267 names now listed on that polished black wall, including those added in 2010. The names are arranged in the order in which they were taken from us by date and within each date the names are alphabetized. It is hard to believe it is 36 years since the last casualties. Link
The Business Directory is a great service for us living in Big Pine Key however most of the phone numbers are disconnected. (Ed: thanks for letting me know. I need a volunteer to tell me which ones no longer work. Is there anyone out there in Big Time Key Land who has too much time on their hands and who’d like the thankless responsibility of updating the Business directory?
It takes only one inexperienced stooge to undo the accomplishments of 100 normal workers. Competent people go in one of a few directions. But incompetence is infinite. The human imagination is not capacious enough to comprehend all the many ways an incompetent politician can find to screw this thing up.




The Jiffy Pop Lady

[Job Wanted] I am Andrew Ralph and I’m hoping to find a summer job opportunity on Big Pine Key. I’m experienced and young and ready to learn. I’m currently going to college for a Political Science degree, and was hoping for a government type job, but I’d listen to anything available. I hope to hear from you soon because I would certainly love to spend my summer on Big Pine Key. Attached is my resume, contact me if you have any questions.



Now that funding to the USDA has been cut you know what that means!

[Education] Once upon a time, America had a president who valued education. John F. Kennedy’s powerful 60’s speech still speaks to us today. Here’s what we really should be doing, making America smart again. Video


I wish refugees would come to the Keys because we need the free labor they could give us for food and shelter. We could house them in bleeding-heart’s homes and let them work for their keeper. Would this be tax deductible or slavery?

The new Plenti Card at Winn Dixie is an identity thief’s dream. Look for a hacker to empty info from their server. They have your driver’s license scanned, your phone number, mailing address, home address, birth date, email address, purchasing history, the credit or debit card you may have paid with, and a PIN and password you may have used for something else. When you log into the Plenti website, you can bet they install a tracker on your computer to follow you on the internet. That is a lot of personal information to give a stranger just for a discount on groceries. You have also given up your do-not-call phone status to all their affiliated business partners to bombard you with calls and emails
You’ve Gotta Love Millennials — Micah Tyler. Music Video




Why are you littering?

According to Sunday’s KW Citizen Strike Zone Charters now wants to take the dive boat from former Underseas Dive Shop in lieu of monies due. The store’s boarded up, the business died, just as the other little dive store on Big Pine did. And Strike Zone has been for sale for a silly high number. Heads up, they don’t come to dive anymore, they come to the Florida Keys to DIE! Most coming are already brain dead
[“Cats sit on their black ‘spot'”] However dogs also have black spots (rectum). Now when my cat goes #2 she buries it, then licks herself clean and goes about her business including sitting on her little black spot. Let’s look at your nice Labrador. When you’re taking her for her walk, by local statutes, you’re following behind with glove and plastic bag to retrieve her little jewels for proper disposal–somewhat like the guy following the elephants in the circus parades, picking up the road apples or in the elephant’s case, watermelons. Then afterwards your Lab licks herself clean and comes over and starts licking all over your face! No thanks, I’ll stick to my cat’s little black spot. Video
Billy’s Stone Crab, is still closed. The Keys seafood he buys is still going to his restaurant in Hollywood, Fl. We lose again.


[Great Grass] I sent a sample of this native grass to the Florida Extension service to try to identify it. I want to see if I can buy seeds as this is the most hardy of all the different grasses on my property. It requires almost nothing and grows in all conditions, and only needs cutting once a year.

[Polluted Canals] You people who bought houses on closed canals, it’s time to do your part. You moved here, you stayed here, it’s time to clean it up. Pay for the dirty water caused by new population density. Don’t feel alone. The canals on Summerland are green from algae bloom now for almost 3 years. Can’t see them bottom of the canal anymore. Mine used to have tropical fish in it. It’s got nothing in it, not even those upside down jellyfish. Nice job, Sean Morton and you bumps on a log at NOAA. DNR is on speed dial. I’m moving back to 1983.


I like the psychology of Amazon and Netflix. They give you what you want. If you desire a feature they probable have it already. They know if they don’t add a feature their competition will and they’ll lose billions. With everyone else they make us pay for and nice features we want. I think that is Amazon and Netflix’s business plan
My family and I were scheduled to take a 55-day European cruise in August, but with all the killing going on forget it. We will stay in the good old USA.
[Mind Control] People, you know, make mistakes when they’re doing something, like a home improvement project or some kind of car repair, or electrical hookup, and just before they fire the thing up, when they think they’ve got everything covered and ready to go, they suddenly see that mistake and think “Holy shit, this is all wrong.” Of course, they then have to stop, rework the plan and fix the mistake.

But what if some mysterious mind-control entity paralyzes them, and in a zombie-like stupor they do fire the thing up and it does completely fail, even though they know it will fail. Can it be? Can it happen to a whole country? And what is that mysterious mind-control entity?

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.  ~Hunter S. Thompson
If you have a sea plane, but no sea to take off from. What do you do? Video



[Litter] People from Latin countries are the only ones who fish at the west end of Bahia Honda Channel. This photo shows the typical mess they leave even though there are ample trash cans right there!

[Muslims v Christians] Egypt’s Coptic churches hit by deadly blasts on Palm Sunday. Video
[Grinder pumps] If you got stiffed with a grinder pump station, don’t forget to purchase and have your electrician install a power logging meter when you “donate” the power circuit for FKAA’s convenience and savings. FKAA has lied to us all along so why would you believe it will only cost you 97 cents per month to power the thing? They just said that so they could give you a puny credit on your sewer bill to compensate you.

A 240v 100 amp KWh meter is under $15 to buy ($9 direct from Malaysia) and will fit in a receptacle-sized junction box. Here is a sample: Link

Install it on the power feed to the pump station. You may be surprised at what it tells you about voltage from Keys Energy too. Since your electrician is there, you might put one of these on your air conditioner circuit too. A drop in normal running current is a clue that your refrigerant may be low and you are losing efficiency. An increase may forewarn of other problems brewing. You will be able to see what it costs each day to run your AC and if you save much by turning it off while at work.

[Publix Keeps Trying] We don’t need another shopping center on Big Pine Key. Can you just imagine the additional traffic? Traffic’s bad enough with the flea market on Saturday, can you imagine 7 days a week like that? Whew! We have ordinances, rules and other prohibitive measures to stop more major development on the island that is mostly National Wildlife Refuge land. Let’s hope the big bucks don’t get to the Commissioners greed.
[Seven-Mile Bridge] State transportation officials will begin a $15 million, two-year project on the Seven-Mile Bridge this month, which will eventually result in traffic delays



[Ratio Church:Bank] There are approximately 385,000 known places of warship in the USA. That is amazing in that it is the same number as there are banks!


[Barking] Who do you contact about dogs that bark incessantly? Talking to their owners has not changed anything. The Animal Nuisance number listed in the CT Business Directory has been disconnected. (Ed: Thanks for letting me know, I’ll remove it. If you find the new number please let all of us know. There are barking dogs near corporate headquarters that our staff would like to keep quiet.)

Is the Devil Christian, Jewish, Muslim or something else?
Is NOAA ever going to get the radar picture back up?[?]
[Politicians] It’s hard to believe that educated professionals in DC can think and act like stupid cry babies over some idiotic topic, waste our tax money and damn near cause a war! What the hell are these people in suits doing?
[Developers] The County is voting on raising the height of buildings which, among other things, will allow developers to add another floor further overcrowding the Keys and ruining our skyline. I would like to see how much developers spent wining and dining our illustrious commissioners to vote in favor of the increase.
[Government in Action] The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms filled a secret bank account with millions from shadowy cigarette sales.
The secret A.T.F. account paid $21,000 for a NASCAR suite and Las Vegas trip.
A.T.F. agents also had their credit card bills paid with money from the account, according to a former law enforcement official and two former industry officials.They will probably plead “We are Monroe County government officials,” making prosecution unlikely.
Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

national politics an(Click here)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *