2013 August

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


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$200 Reward for the return of our 6 foot fiberglass mahi half mount and arrest of the dirtbags that broke into our locked porch and carried a ladder and drill to our balcony and stole it. Little Torch Key, call MCSO at 305-289-2351 case #13-6029 or 850-460-5919. Classified Ads > Lost and Found


[Grinder Pumps] I live in Cudjoe Gardens and the way you have twisted the truth about the pumps being cheaper than gravity is amazing. Which department of the FKAA do you work in, or are you really that misinformed? The pump deal is a con and always was. Anyone knows what is going down the tubes and it is our money! A simple length of PVC pipe is all the gravity system is and the pump system is tons of parts that have been proven to fail, fail, fail. No way do I want a pump system and I will fight it in court if need be!

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an_orchid bloom


Hi Orchid Lovers, This Sunday, Aug., 18 we are privileged to meet at Jay Pfahl’s home to see his orchids between 11am & 2 pm. Jay lives at 1610 Patricia St, KW. From Atlantic Blvd. turn onto Leon St., then right onto

Patricia. 1610 is on the right in the 2nd block.Jay specializes in Species, so if you love Species this is one meeting not to miss.

August Orchid Newsletter > Menu > Ongoing Events >

[Summer in the Keys] The heat index is somewhere between 0MG and WTF!


[Bum Grapevine] The word’s traveling around the country through the bum grapevine that KW is building a resort for the homeless, although the City Fathers don’t call it that.




Accurate Home Inspections are coming to the Coconut Telegraph and the Keys real soon!

[Organizing Stuff] Thank you for responding to my post about needing help getting my excess “stuff” organized. Yes, it was a legitimate post and I noticed that no one came forth with ads for cleaning as you suspected. I am in the Lower Keys. I did intend to pay for help but after posting my dilema I realize I’m not well enough to deal with any of it right now.

Thanks to Deer Ed for posting my plea. He must know a “set-up” post from a legitimate one after all the years he’s been running the C.T.

an stop to think


George Orwell’s Letter on Why He Wrote ‘1984’. In 1944, three years before writing and five years before publishing 1984, George Orwell penned a letter detailing the thesis of his great novel. The letter, warning of the rise of totalitarian police states that will ‘say that two and two are five,’  Link



It looks like we have our own little Lower Keys gasoline cartel. Gas war is more like it. There are some days Shell on Summerland is a couple cents less than Dion’s on Summerland, while the Shell’s prices on Ramrod and BPK are higher. I shop the Shell stations as the places are nice and clean. The new owner spent a load of money repairing the dump he bought on Summerland. He owns many stations in South Florida and seems like a nice guy.

Between the bitching over drink prices and gas prices, you’d almost think the new breed down here has a problem with free market capitalism and business.

This place is no longer a hippie commune, it costs real dollars to live here.

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You know it’s hot when …

[“Since we were out we wanted to finish our ride … You felt the need …”] Please allow an independent observation,  based on the 2 critical statements in your post.  First is we wanted.  Second is You felt.  You put what you wanted to do above others. That decision cause a reaction, a consequence.

On a more global and philosophical scale, isn’t that what always starts the troubles, one entity acting as if more than another?   Objectively,  this looks like nothing more than one saying to another you are not the only thing on this planet.

As much as you had a right to do what you wanted, so did the driver.

A good rule, going back to Greeks,  if you can not accept responsibility for that which you cause to happen, then do not initiate.

And no, I don’t know you, or the driver.  Your post was just too self centered whiny to go unaddressed.


[“Wondered why there were divers around the old bridge supports. Sorry your secret got out guys”] Uh, that’s not a secret, unless you moved here mid-July of this year. Post any other new discoveries you come up with here on CT, we love the gossip.

Here’s a couple more secrets. The restaurants are not serving as much fresh fish and shrimp as you might think. The conch in the conch fritters isn’t from here, and neither are the prime rib or steaks. In fact the tap water isn’t from here either. It comes down US1 to us in a big pipe from Miami.



Canal river through a paddyfield somewhere in Vietnam.

To the people whining about having to pay more to pay Keys Energy online,  you must have just got here  and have not yet learned that locals rule.   Do what they say and give them whatever they want and like it.  Above all else, don’t forget to genuflect in their presence.

isaksen-flood 4.23.13
[“Maybe TSA stopped potential terrorists from even trying to get on a plane”] Prove that one and good luck doing so. The other real proof is that many TSA agents have stolen a lot of personal property from airline passengers and copped waaaay too many free feels in the name of national security. These creeps and creep-ettes have felt up every age from baby to octo+ in the guise of protecting you and me from those who would do worse.TSA agent seems like a perfect position for those coming out of prison as rehabilitated sex offenders. They get to play and their supervisors get to watch or jump in and help. Safety for the traveling public brought to you by the same government officials we keep electing. 

bbq family an


[1st Annual Rib Cook-off at Springers] Where: Springer’s Bar & Grill. When: September 8th, 2013

Join the Contest or be a Judge. For info call Travis at 305-942-0093 or Springer 305-872-3022. Profits from the food sales will be donated to the local Food Bank.  Events


Sign up for the Co-ed Cornhole for this Fall Season at Springer’s Bar & Grill (The Bar with the Big Army Truck)

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[Phish of The Day] I am Graham Bartlett, from Graham Bartlett Law Firm, London, U.K. I would like to discuss Mr Alec’s issue with you. Mr Alec is your relative. It’s quite urgent, kindly let me know when it’s convenient and I will email you further details.

Faithfully, Graham Bartlett/Graham Bartlett Law Firm/London ,UK

[“horny jerk” as you put it] First of all I don’t know why you are calling him names when you are in violation of the law. We spent millions of dollars of mostly unused bike paths so that you idiots can ride on the roadway and then get bike rage? Your excuse is the bike path was flooded? Give me a break, don’t you think riding through a puddle is better then dying on the roadway.

Lionfish2_Credit-Adam-Nardelli_smallSanctuary to host free lionfish safe handling and capture workshop in Key West. Members of the dive public are invited to attend a free lionfish safe handling and capture workshop on Tuesday, August 20 at 6:30 p.m. at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center in Key West (35 East Quay Road). Learn about lionfish biology, research, and safe capture and handling techniques. This free workshop is required for a Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary permit to remove lionfish from Sanctuary Preservation Areas with hand nets.  Events

Sign the Keystone pledge against the pipeline.  Link


Dear Ed must be preparing for a postal position. He has been late for two days in a row. I am rarely home, but have been Monday and Tuesday. Is this a trend? or a fad? I for one do not volunteer to replace him. It is a thankless job, so I guess its ok that he’s late. Oh hell, take the rest of the week off, on me!

an money in tank


The price of gas in Marathon can be up to 30 cents cheaper than Summerland. I plan my grocery trips around gassing the truck and boat and save enough to have a nice dinner. Screw the local stations. 

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[Lobster Mobsters] Front page of today’s Citizen: 5 hicks from Missouri were busted in Denture Out on Cudjoe Key with 249 illegal lobsters.

The USCG and FWC spent multiple hours chasing down errant divers. Those are shitty tourist divers who can’t get back to the boat. (6 divers in 4 incidents)
Tell me again how much money these recreational lobster holidays bring in to private businesses here in the Keys and I’ll counter that with the investigative and Search-And-Rescue costs spent by these agencies.

The difference is private businesses profit while tax payers get stuck with a big bill.


Hammerhead shark stuns fisherman by giving birth to a litter of pups as it is hauled onto packed Florida beach. Link



This guy didn’t like those bike riders on his road either; never mind the bike path! 

[Keys Disease] How sad, some dreamer is looking for some guy and his chick who were going to do some work for them down here.  Sure do hope you didn’t you give them any cash up front.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

Someone just passed me headed northbound on Roosevelt Blvd. It reminds me of the old days.




Select your bacon destination. Link

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Rest assured that the entire Pigeon Key-Seven Mile bridge is going to be re-built from the sea bed up because the powers that be know that in all of Monroe County there are only a handful of citizens that are aware of this travesty or that give a crap.  The others are only thinking about getting high again.   I am sure the high and mighty are drooling at the prospect of future kickbacks and other benefits assured to them by the scope of this project. 


[Screwed by Manufacturers Again] Anyone checked the increased size of the toilet paper roll tube? Bigger is the word. Bigger tube = less paper from the same sized roll. With the huge Ethanol program there should be tons of discarded corn cobs. So, corn cobs here we come!

tarps bungee cords

[Sea Ice] When I read yesterdays post (at the bottom) about Al Gore & “Artic sea ice volume is higher” it sounded very wrong , but was easy to check. Here is the latest from NOAA. Link

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TRAYVON-MARTIN-MURAL-large448An 100-square-foot mural titled “We are all Trayvon” debuted inside the Florida State Capitol building in Tallahassee on Friday. Painted by Miami artist Huong, pictured above, the mural depicts a standing and uninjured George Zimmerman firing Point blank at the back of the head of a hooded figure whose face is replaced by a mirror. It also features a bleeding Martin Luther King Jr. and the phrase “we are all Trayvon”

This is the left. Lying miserable racsist bigots. They tried to lynch a brown skinned Mexican and the law stopped them. They are zealots of a violent ideology. The truth means nothing. Such a blatant distortion of the facts will not be tolerated. These are deniers in the most wretched horrific sense of the word. Rewriting history to fit the contorted twisted views of their violent cult. You white bigots try to lynch this Mexican and you’ll get punched back twice as hard. 


[Hurricanes] Some of the most memorable sights of the aftermath of Hurricane Georges were the mountainous piles of debris lining both sides of the roads consisting mostly of crap flooded out inside illegal downstairs enclosures.   Of course FEMA paid out $Millions to have it hauled out of here, no questions asked.  I am sure all of the sharpies around here got a thrill up their legs from putting another one over on the Man, and then went right back to work re-setting the same stage for the next blow.


[“Looking to contact workers”] I hope you didn’t advance them any funds for what they are supposed to do for you. I know nothing about them, but I have been in the same situation. It got ‘sweaty’ for a while in our case, and did work out after awhile. Good luck!

religion politics zone

Weve been reading posters on here puffing out cherry picked numbers to make themselves seem like they are the better informed citizens so I thought it might be a good idea to check into the puffery a bit and see if they are telling the whole story. Turns out they are not. One of the mainstays of the Republican party has always been our countrys senior citizens. Turns out just like the Tea Partys numbers are dropping thru the floor so are the numbers from Americas elderly.

In one recent blind poll only 28 percent of voters 65 and older had a favorable view of the Republican party vs 40 percent who had a favorable view of the Democratic party. This is a huge drop for the republicans whom in 2011 had a 40 percent polling number and the Democrats rolled in with only a 37 percent polling number. When polled about the GOP lead house which saw an increase in members from the Tea Party sect. their numbers during both polling periods dropped from 45 percent to only a 22 percent approval rate. That’s a huge swing downward. Until the Republicans realize that their obstructionist views are being looked at as anti American and simple old fashion cry baby attitudes they will continue to lose support. Whine on my friends whine on.

I wish to thank the Republican that continues to post Obamas approvals rating as still being over 40%. Beats the last sitting Presidents exit approval ratings of the low teens by a long shot. Again. Keep up the whining and making us look at your own polling numbers. Well done. My cherry basket is full now also.




Every time you get worked up over Republican criticism of Obama you might try remembering things like this. Link

[Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia] A really long word lately associated with Tea Party people terrified by Obama care mainly because it contains a whole lot of un-understandable really long words and way too many of them, besides.

Manning and Nobel Peace Prize could lift dark cloud. Support the whistleblower Freedom of Speech. Link

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[Do nothing Congress] They spend all their time trying to kill Obamacare and on getting reelected. They voted 40 times to deny healthcare to Americans. It boggles the mind.

from the right

an tea partyI hope that you’re as delighted as I am that a poster chose to denigrate polling information. Then there was the added gift that a poster suggested that the Tea Party was on the skids. Neither could be further from the truth.

Frankly, the issue is not Obama, like shingles or hemorrhoids, we’re stuck with him for the next 31/2 years. The real issue is the mid-terms, so it is appropriate to think about how well received is our current Democrat governance.

In May, Gallup released a poll that revealed that Conservatives comprise about 41% of Americans. Moderates comprise about 37%, and way, way back in the political pack the Liberals comprise only about 19%.

Then there is the reporting in the Washington Post last January 23rd that reveals that the Tea Party is resurgent. According to a CNN poll released May 20, 37% of the public now supports the movement, a level that approaches the high-water mark the tea party achieved in 2010. But even if that reporting is not correct, there can be no doubt that the Tea Party thinkers and the Republicans may fuss with each other, but at crunch time both will vote for Republican/Conservative candidates rather than liberal candidates. Obama is a unique phenomenon, whose charisma and heritage pulled votes to him like a magnet. Now however, we’re enduring the mess that he and his made.

The Democrat unending battle cry that the Team Obama latest items of misfeasance are nothing but “phony scandals” is not resonating.  Most folks are deeply concerned about Benghazi, the IRS storm troopers, and the warrantless examination of our digital communications. It seems that every day new and nasty disclosures bubble up like sewer gas.

The politicking prior to the midterm elections on the Right side of the aisle, will be tough, bare knuckled. But strong Conservative candidates will prevail and will win back the Senate and increase the holdings in the House.

Even über-liberal NPR in a recent Liz Halloran opinion piece dated 8/10 opined that the Republicans were likely to take the Senate.

This Olde Fart is optimistic and itching for the fight.

an_king-black2Part 2) Speaking of our Imperial Presidency his ability to take advantage of his office is astounding, did you know that the Presidential dog had a taxpayer paid flight from DC to Martha’s Vineyard just the other day. Our President was not content to have somebody stuff the dog in the back seat of a Chevy and drive the 8 hours from DC to the Vineyard, nor was he content to have the cute little pup put in a crate and flown to MV by a single engine or even a twin engine aircraft. Nope, the imperial mutt was transported by two – not one but two — Marine V22 Ospreys. Each of those little gems take off and land vertically but when airborne swivel their wings and engines and fly like regular airplanes. They are fast and incredibly expensive at about $70 million dollars apiece. The cost to operate the Osprey is about $10k per hour.

I sincerely hope that the Ospreys were not completely dedicated to the Imperial mutt, I sincerely hope that they were used to haul cargo or people. But in any event, the usage of Ospreys for Presidential vacation convenience is shameful. They are among the most expensive iron in the Marine air inventory, and certainly the most expensive to operate. Their use is a shocking waste of money. Nice Doggy.