Tuesday, December 18, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[FTR on Housing] It is a very good thing that some folks in and around BPK are getting pissed about the affordable housing situation.  One can only hope that in the ’18 election cycle when the new batch of BOCC candidates jump up that this issue will be a hot topic.

On Big Pine Key alone there are at least 50 rental units that advertise vacation rental on the web.  We all know that renting for less than 30 days is illegal, nonetheless, the ordinance is ignored and it is rarely enforced.  Many web sites actually advertise daily rentals.

Our Keys are not totally tourist oriented.  There are bedroom communities and retirement communities.  There are virtually zero tourist attractions, save for a very few charter and dive boats, from Big Pine to Key West.

I propose that we elect commissioners who will change existing law so that vacation rentals are completely outlawed from Big Pine to Key West.  Put in place a minimal rental segment of 6 months so as to accommodate the snowbirds.

So doing would immediately put many score, probably well over a hundred, housing units on the local rental market.  Market forces would immediately drive down the cost to rent those units.  The property owners, most of which I suspect are not Monroe voters, would still be able to rent and to make a profit on their property.  Damn near instant affordable housing at no cost to the taxpayers of Monroe County.

[Debris] Can you believe your eyes?  The clean up of the debris on Big Pine has actually begun.  It probably could have been this way three months ago if the county commissioners had the sense to sign the original contract with someone who actually owned some trucks!
Does anyone remember the Drum Bar on Truman Ave in Key West? It had arched doorways along the street side that were all open and a pool table inside along with the bar. It was a cool neighborhood bar until someone remodeled it into a gaudy Italian restaurant with not one window! It quickly went bust. Then it was a sushi restaurant for many years until that burned down. I don’t know what it is now.
[Phones] The Huawei phone I had was great at a great price, but the outdated Android OS it shipped with would not run all my apps. Huawei promised an update but after 3 years I gave up and bought a Plus1 flagship phone for $499. In the few months I’ve had it they updated the OS at least 5 times! The Plus1 is the best phone ever. Eat your heart out iPhone. Video


[Fist Fighting Celebrates Christmas] My wife was writing an article about weird Christmas traditions from around the world, and came across this from Peru. She did a little more digging and found this great little video. If this ever caught on the world would be a much better place. Video

[Conquistadores 1518 Mexico] Cortes said sacrifices must stop and young men must cease to go about in female garments, to make a livelihood by such cursed lewdness. Indeed, hardly a day passed by that these people did not sacrifice from three to four, and even five Indians, tearing the hearts out of their bodies, to present them to the idols and smear the blood on the walls of the temple. The arms and legs of these unfortunate beings were then cut off and devoured, just in the same way we should fetch meat from a butcher’s shop and eat it: indeed I even believe that human flesh is exposed for sale cut up, in their markets.
[White Christmas] In the beginnings God said, “Let snow be white-let coal be black. Later Coal said, “Snow is racists.”  Funny isn’t it? So White Christmas is a racist song and then so is Jingle Bells



Does anybody out there have a picture of when Molly Hatchet played on Summerland Key sometime back in the 80’s? Thank. 

A big thanks to the Irma BPK Facebook group page that continues to clean US1. We made it from M&M to St. Pete’s today. A big shout out to the Salvation Army. The debris pile was a mixture of wet insulation, clothes on hangars, wood trim, Salvation Army paperwork, and miscellaneous.

People, please separate your debris if you have the means to take it down the road. It’s still ok for residents to dump from MM16-40, Just take it to Cudjoe Transfer. If you can’t, the rule still applies: separate appliances, building material, yard waste. Educate the new snowbirds arrivals too. Thanks.

Port Pine Heights newsletter. PPHOApost-FALL-DEC 2017-Fr


You can wish me seasons greetings, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Feliz Navidad, Mele Kalikimaka, or any other greeting of your choice and I won’t be offended.  Rather, I will be grateful that you took the time to say something nice.

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
[Rocket or Contrail?]  I saw this on my way to town Friday night, probably about 6 pm. (not my video) Video
[Butts] Everywhere you look there are cigarette butts. Look down in front of Winn Dixie, thousands of them. By the ice machines, Ace Hardware, any business. Depending on the conditions of the area the cigarette butt is discarded in, it can take 18 months to 10 years for a cigarette filter to decompose. But that isn’t the worst of it. Trapped tar and toxins leach into the ground and it goes on and on.

With all the recovery efforts going on you ask why is this person going on about cigarette butts. Pack a day of cheap cigarettes, $2,300 a year. 3 cans really cheap beer, only $700 a year. 20 years = $60,000. Recreational drug costs? who knows? Smoke breaks and poor health cost? who knows? And we are supposed to feel sorry because you don’t have “affordable housing”. Go north where you can make the big bucks and get the hell off my island!

Things men do that upset women:
be honest
not talk
talk too much
not show emotions
be too emotional
[Boars] What do you think of men who you can’t have a conversation or bring up any issue, where they don’t mention their military service? It’s similar to the people you talk to who tell you how long they’ve lived here in their first breath. Boring.
[The Names They Are a’changin’] Ramon, who along with his mother, ran the old restaurant across from the Conch Train station on Duval Street was the first person to invent the Cuban Mix sandwich in the 1960s (the only thing to change later is that Ramon would put oregano on it; and that he went to jail for smuggling in his later restaurant on Stock Island, The Rusty Anchor). Since then its popularity has spread to the point that it’s now called by many other names like Cuban Sandwich and Cuban Press.
One of the better Coke commercials, right up there with the Budweiser horses. Video


[Pressure Cookers Versus Slow Cookers] 8 factors to consider according to science. It is over 7,000 words and packed with practical tips and advice. You can find it here. Link

$4 billion aircraft carrier is leaking just two weeks after commissioning. Link
[Johnsons Insurance] Wishing you health and happiness this Holiday Season and prosperity in the New Year. We value our customer relationships and thank you for being our customer. We look forward to continuing our partnership in the coming year.

Our office will be closed for the Christmas holiday on Monday, December 25th and Tuesday, December 26th. We will have an early closure at noon on Friday, December 29th and will be closed on Monday, January 1st in observance of the New Year.

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