2022 December

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

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[Fresh Water Lens] Big Pine Key is one of the islands in the Lower Keys that because of geology has freshwater. It is the second largest key and it is the widest key.

It has two fresh water tables, more correctly referred to as lenses because of their shape underground. The southern fresh water lens is the smaller of the two. Both of these lens were reduced in size by the digging of the canals in the Big Pine Key subdivisions in the late 1950s and during the1960s. Since the northern fresh water lens is larger, it is easier to understand how these systems function using it as an example.

The system of canals was the largest negative impact on the fresh water lens. The northern fresh water lens is underground from south of Port Pine Heights to Watson Blvd, east of Key Deer Blvd and extends about 800 feet south of Watson to the west of Key Deer Blvd. The lens is contracted as it gets close to the canals. The canal system of Eden Pines is the largest on the island, so it has the largest impact on the northern lens. The northern fresh water system shadows the elevation of the oolitic limestone, which at its highest is about 7.4 feet above sea level. Most of it is much lower. Although a substantial ridge above 4 feet in elevation runs from south west of Watson Blvd through Eden Pines along Key Deer Blvd and runs to the northeast to Central Ave. This is the biggest and longest limestone ridge in the Lower Keys. It is truly a tragedy that USFWS has been clearing and systematically defacing it since 2015.

Mosquito ditches were also dug on northern Big Pine Key from 1959 till about 1963. They were dug to connect natural solution holes to allow fish to more easily survive dry periods and eat larvae. They helped drain some fresh water but since they are primarily very coastal their modern effect is minimal. Since the canals and ditches were dug sea level has risen about seven inches.

Two studies have been conducted on Big Pine Key fresh water systems, one in the 1980s and one about 2004. They showed a decrease in the size of the lens. The lens is thickest at the highest spots farthest from the canals and it fluctuates substantially between wet and dry seasons. That is because it is fed by rain, which is about 40 inches annually.

The most recent impact on the fresh water lens was the digging of trenches to run the sewer lines around Big Pine Key. If you read the December 6 Coconut Telegraph post on geology and this post, you already understand the fresh water resources better than most government officials.

[Keystone Pipeline Leaks 14,000 Barrels of Oil] This is the largest onshore crude pipeline spill in nine years and the biggest in the system’s history. Thank god the president shut it down. Link

[Boogers] These long-fingered lemurs pick and eat their boogers, just like humans. Plus other fun facts from The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week. Link

[Walgreens Sucks A Big One] Last week I made and appointment for a seasonal flue shot at Walgreens on Big Pine. Monday I sat there with three others and waited one hour, got disgusted with the lack of communication they exhibited, and left shotless, never knowing why I was made to wait one hour with no shot.

[Hair] Why are Muslims so hung up on hair that they’ll kill a woman who reveals it. Does killing a girl make the killers closer to god? Hindus are hung up on hair too, but they seldom kill you for showing it. Muslims’ fashion police killed a girl this year and several years ago they brutally beat a little girl named Mala that deformed her face
[Most Common Holiday Scams] Amazon Order Confirmation Scams. These are unexpected calls/texts/emails that often refer to an unauthorized purchase and ask you to act urgently to confirm or cancel the purchase. These scammers try to convince you to provide payment or bank account information, install software to your computer/device, or purchase gift cards.
Remember, if you received correspondence regarding an order you weren’t expecting, you can verify orders by logging into your Amazon account. Only legitimate purchases will appear in your order history – and Customer Service is available 24/7 to assist.
Tech Support Scams. Scammers create fake websites claiming to provide tech support for your devices and Amazon services. Customers who land on these pages are lured to contact the scammer and fall prey to their schemes.
Legitimate Amazon websites contain “” such as “”.
[Rapture] Scuba diving in upper Niagara River, Ft Erie Ontario. Last January the water was 36 degrees. We were diving in wet suits, gloves, head gear. My dive buddy and I became separated. I started touching fish which were dormant from the chill. Touching fish, I felt myself becoming separated from reality. Slow rhythmic breathing. Felt like entering a trance stage about 30 seconds. Then I felt a rush of water in my lower back area and it woke me. I then came back to reality, a full body shiver ensued. I looked around, looked at my gauges, and swam like heck out of the water. My buddy was standing on shore, wondering where I was. I was on edge of hypothermia but felt so at ease that I think I shed my fear of drowning and death.
[Last Minute Gift Idea] Give the gift of unforgettable experiences with tickets to South Florida Symphony Orchestra! Single tickets from $15 and flex packages on sale now for thrilling concerts in Key West. Link
[Robots] Watch this bird-like robot make a graceful landing on its perch. A perching robot could one day be used to monitor even the most shy, hidden animals. Video
Kim Simmonds of Savoy Brown band dead at 75. Savoy Brown is one of my all-time favorite bands. Fog Hat splintered off from them. My favorite album is “Looking”.
Savoy Brown Band — Boogie


Shop online and you will look like this, they imply.

Islamorada man is a saltwater Tom Sawyer. Not many people have been invited to spend the night in a Florida Keys lighthouse. But, Carl Wright of Islamorada had that opportunity in 1947 as a 13-year-old. He is the Keys version of Tom Sawyer, only in and around saltwater. Link


[Following Directions] It clearly said, “ Cut the bottom 5 inches off the tree and put it in the stand.”

The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/20/22 at 8:55 am.