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2022 December

Friday, December 22, 2022

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I too have dived the upper Niagara River further towards the falls, south of Navy Island. But definitely not in the winter. The heavy current was troubling to say the least. You couldn’t fight it, it just pulled you closer and closer to the brink. Like escaping a rip tide, you had to swim sideways to the bank to get out — hopefully. What amazed me there were the giant Muskellunge – a lot of them. The fish somehow effortlessly were unaffected by the strong current.
[Friday Joke] I dozed off last night about halfway through a Hallmark Christmas movie and woke up about halfway through another one. Took me about 30 minutes to figure out it wasn’t the same movie.”
[“Walgreen’s complaint on waiting for vax”] Check next door at CVS. They have shifts that a vaccinator is scheduled to take the load off the already overworked pharmacist. Just ask at the window and make your appointment online for that day. Whether you are a Walgreens or CVS pharmacy customer please thank those that are working to keep the pharmacy open. A little thanks and patience go a long way especially as we head into snowbird season.

 

[In Memoriam] Notable people who died in 2022. Slide show includes a good photo and short bio of each person.  There are 93 included — thus far.  Link

Snoop Dogg, 51, reveals the highest he has ever been was during Amsterdam smoke session with Willie Nelson, 89: “This old motherf***er was outsmoking me.” Link
[“Walgreen’s complaint on waiting for vax”] I was the person who left Walgreens pharmacy after waiting one hour for the flu shot. The next day I went to CVS and got my seasonal flu shot within 15 minutes.

[Big Pine Book Club] On Saturday, January 20th at 10am we will be discussing Death on the Menu, and the New York Times’ bestselling author, Lucy Burdette, will be joining us live and in person to discuss her book! Full Menu > Book Club

The Taliban now prohibits woman from going to university. A sixth grade education is all they are allowed.
[Power] These are the 13 families in the world that apparently control everything – from politics to terrorism. Link

 

[Axial Tilt] The reason for the season.

[History] Do you know which modern president was originally called Leslie Lynch King, Jr? Could it be Reagan, Ford, Clinton, Obama, Bush?
When Leslie Lynch King was still a baby his parents divorced, and after his mother moved to Michigan and remarried, King’s new stepfather Gerald Ford Sr. named the future President after himself. The man born Leslie Lynch King Jr. is today better known as former U.S. President Gerald Ford. Aside from his little-known birth name, Ford holds a unique distinction in American history: he is the only Vice President and President to enter either office without being elected — he became President Nixon’s VP after Spiro Agnew resigned, and then became President after Nixon’s resignation.
Totalitarian regimes thrive precisely on the ability to turn everyone, even their victims, into accomplices.
[Freedom Of Slur] Slurs against Black, Jewish, gay, and transgender people spiked after Elon Musk invited virtually all banned accounts back to Twitter. Before Musk’s takeover, there were an average of 1,282 tweets slurring Black people every day; after- ward the number jumped to 3,876. Anti-Semitic tweets and slurs against transgender people each increased by more than 60 percent.

 

The newest robot dog can scale walls and ceilings. Link

Wednesday was the Winter Solstice, The First Day of Winter and the longest night of the year. From now on days will become longer by about 2 minutes. Link
[Friday Joke] Wife: “Do you remember the most stupid thing you ever said?”
Husband: “I Do.”

[Mrs. Deer Ed] As we all know, there is a grainy black and white photograph of Deer Ed. After exhaustive research I’ve found photographic evidence of Mrs. Deer Ed. (Editor: Yes, that’s her! She went missing in the Amazon years ago. The pigmies said she sufficated in a mosquito net.)

How to order free COVID tests from the US government before the holidays. Every US household can request four more rapid antigen tests. Link

 

The Inflation Grinch (not a laughing matter).

[Friday Joke] Last night I went to a Christmas party. I had a drink, followed by a few more, followed by a shot or two of tequila. That’s when I decided to do what I have never done before: I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a DUI checkpoint on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waived it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don’t even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don’t know what to do with it.

 

[Cats] Historical images of Hercules attempting to give his cat a pill.

[Too Many Oil Spills] Some 14,000 barrels of crude oil from the Keystone pipeline spilled into a Kansas creek in Washington County last Week, and operator TC Energy said the largest onshore oil spill in the U.S. since 2013 will take weeks to clean up. Canada- based TC Energy ruled out sabotage but did not immediately identify a cause of the rupture, which forced a shutdown of the 622,000 barrel—a-day pipeline that runs from Canada into the U.S. Midwest. TC Energy said no drinking water was affected. Using large vacuums, the company recovered about 2,600 barrels of oil mixed with water, after two earthen dams were built to prevent the spill from moving into larger waterways. In 2013, a Tesoro Corp. pipeline rupture in North Dakota leaked 20,600 barrels. Concerns about pollution from spills fueled opposition to TC Energy’s proposed 1,200-mile Keystone XL pipeline. President Biden canceled the project’s permit last year, thank God
Biden stopped all Keystone pipeline funding last year, well before last week’s massive oil spill.

 

Perverts: Don’t masturbate with Christmas ornaments. Doctor warns against this surprisingly stupid XXXmas trend. Link

[English Made Hard] Tsunami — T is silent
Honest — H is silent
Psychology — P is silent
Knife — K is silent
Wife — Husband is silent
Class dismissed.
[Name That Mascot] Can You Name These Product Mascots? Ever get that catchy song or tagline stuck in your head from a television or radio commercial? Advertisers strive to keep products memorable and these product mascots help do the trick!  Can you match up all 50 of the product mascots with the correct company? Click ‘Start Quiz’ and put your skills to the test! Link

[Oil Spill] Kudos to the over 600 environmental workers cleaning up the Keystone pipelines’ oil spill. Surprisingly, I was told that it was closed.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/22/22 at 6:36 am.