2018 June

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Contractors From Hell] I would like to warn people of contractors scamming Keys homeowners needing tile installation in their residence. They are listed in Craigslist services under skilled trade titled “Tile Installation (Florida keys)”, posted Jun 2. They are based out of Key Largo and apparently hail from Ohio. Everyone needing tile work should steer clear of these shysters.

My ignorance in knowledge of proper tile installation has cost me dearly. Due to their lack of proper materials and shoddy and substandard tile installation, I will have to rip up my entire flooring throughout the house to reveal the subfloor that was also incorrectly installed. I have numerous tiles popping up and moving and grout coming up.

I am a long-time resident of Big Pine Key and it is appalling we have to deal with this caliber of contracting in the aftermath of hurricane Irma. I intend to pursue this issue through legal channels. If anyone has any experience with similar issues and has information on resources to seek restitution, it would be much appreciated. Hopefully Ed can post some of the pictures I’ve sent with this.

As you grow older you’ll start feeling your body getting stiffer. But don’t worry it’s just rigor mortis practicing for the big day!

There are no more plastic discs because there’s no more software. All software is now downloaded from the internet and they now call it apps instead. What shall I do with all those blank CDs, DVDs and Blue-Ray disks that occupy my shelf?

[Tennessee] Could the From The right Guy tell us more about Tennessee? I am going to Nashville this Fall to look around and was wondering the best part of the state to live with lots of beautiful land like his.  Also seeking great restaurants and lots of butterflies. No pollution or urban settings. Does it snow there and is it as peaceful as it looks? Not wanting septic tanks and propane either. How much work does all that acreage take? He looks like he lives in the real Paradise. We may be right behind him!
[“Slow driver”] Many states have left lane slow poke laws where they get tickets for meandering in the left lane. The left lane slow pokes who speed up when people attempt to pass only seems to happen in Florida
[“Lights, lights, lights”] The house next door to me is a rental and the owners come down for a few days a year. He puts up about 12 lights. The electrician said he wanted it very bright, so he bought bulbs bigger than the those recommended, which light up everything — including the inside of my house! Some tenants are good about turning them off but most don’t care. There are some weak laws on the books, but it is difficult to get them to enforce them. I should buy a couple really bright flood lights and aim them at their windows- maybe they will get the hint.
[Community Center For Seniors] The good folks at Keys to Peace along with others have been working hard to create a new & vibrant community center for seniors in the upper Keys. It’s called the JOY — just older youth — Center. It will be a model for the rest of the Keys. The front of our t-shirt say “JOY Center- just older youth” and the back says ” NOT your Grandparents Senior Center!”
[“Bad woman driver”] I’ll chime in on this driver.  Your statement that you drive the speed limit says it all. You and your associates who drive below the speed limit, are the cause of more frustration than anything else about living and driving in the Keys on out only road — and the cause of accidents, I’ll hazard. You can drive at least, at least! 46 mph in a 45 zone and at least! 56 mph in a 55 zone. And you should drive around 52 to 54 in a 45 and at least 62 in a 55 if not more. The frustration, Aaahh!  The miles long trains of cars that you are blissfully unaware of behind you are filled with people cussing at you something awful, lady. Please, God, please speed up. Lives depend on it — literally. I’m sure I speak for many a decent Keys folk.



Parasail dont’s! Video

[“Don’t throw rice at a wedding because birds can’t digest it”] The only real reason is because you will be sued if some putz slips and falls on it. Ask your lawyer!
[“Blame Central Florida on algae bloom in Lake Okeechobee”] Call up Pres. Trump who just signed an Exec Order allowing more development at the lake. Give his grand polluter, Scott Pruitt, a call as well. The offshore drilling will begin as soon as Rick Scott gets Nelson’s senate seat as well.
[Shady Realtor] I had given the house away in 2016 due to imminent foreclosure. We tried to sell the house short sale. My realtor had attorney run a title search and realized that I owned the house free and clear.  The realtor did not tell me that important fact; then changed the contract after this info and wrote in: Seller gets no money from sale. After this sleight of hand, the realtor found a “Buyer”. My son & I read the contract very hard and opted out as they were trying to hurt me really bad! I could file a lawsuit against the realtor, his company & the attorney, but I did not conduct my own title search. Had I known that I did, in fact own it, I would have tried harder to sell it with a different realtor.

Do you think I have a case?

[Captain Doom and Gloom] I was just watching tv and a commercial for the new Gnomes movie featuring Elton John as the voice of Gnome. So many of cartoon movies are featuring the voices of famous Hollywood stars. What’s the big deal? The kids go to those types of movies to watch the cartoon characters and couldn’t give a rat’s a** about what egotistical Hollywood stars who like to see their names in lights have to say.
[“Light pollution”] I’ve written in here before that there is a “wattage restriction” on outdoor lights especially on canals. Look up the Code on the county website. Just the threat of a code officer coming out to someone’s property to inspect the wattage is enough to get homeowners to clean up their acts. Good luck!
[Fake News] Inculcating the ether with twisted information designed to undermine and discredit the ideas, experiences and beliefs of another citizen; is such an offensive, dishonorable and unloving approach at building relationships.

As we divide and divert the populace from the principles that once drew our union together we’re becoming a fractured and increasingly dysfunctional society consumed with anger, distrust, hate and repressed aggression.

Mesmerized partisan occultists, once identified as our free and independent press have taken sides in their coverage of the news. Renouncing their impartiality via clear and scientifically accrued data, their bias has been detected.



Easy walnut bread. No flour.

[Slipping Over The Border] It is so cruel to separate a family when they are invading another country. Let the invaders take over everything, go to work, and pay our taxes. Yeah, like these useless eaters will do good things for America.
[KONK Life’s Candidate Questionnaire] Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for Key West Utility Board, Seat D
Q: In 20 words or less, let our readers know the reasons in general that you believe you would make the very best person to fulfill the position for which you are running.
A: I’m the only candidate with experience forming and advancing our local utility and conservation policies, and I’ve been doing so for more than 10 years.
Q: What specifically are the top four factors you believe qualify you over the assets of any other potential candidate?
A: Local experience and involvement matters because “the function of the Key West Utility Board is to form the direction, policies, goals, and guide the financial business of the utility”.Not only am I the only candidate with experience and involvement in forming our local County policies and goals regarding utilities and conservation efforts; I’m the only candidate with experience sitting on a local governmental board that has decision making authority.As a private citizen, I spent more than 3-years attending over 50 meetings participating in the updating of the County’s new 2030 Comprehensive Plan where I concentrated on the electric, utility, and conservation sections. I’m the only candidate who participated in this public process. Link

[Liars Lie] Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth.  ~Joseph Goebbels, Adolf Hitler’s Propaganda Minister in Nazi Germany.
Repetition makes a fact seem more true, regardless of whether it is or not.

[From April’s Minutes of Sanctuary Advisory Council Meeting] Irma Storm Damage Recovery – NPS submitted requests to the Department of the Interior for Hurricane Irma recovery projects for a total of $11.8 million, which includes repair of the Fort Jefferson Counterscarp (moat wall) and sand removal, repairs to housing, removal of the wrecked sailboat on Bush Key and replacement of regulatory buoys lost during the storm. The park has received a high level of support from the Department and we expect most or all of the park’s funding requests will be approved and fully funded. We are currently awaiting final notification of funding.
[Crooks] Invoice related phishing attempts are growing in popularity. Fraudsters will email the recipient and proclaim they have an overdue bill. If you are not expecting a bill, contact the company by phone to verify. Do not call the phone number listed in the phishing email! Link
[The Golden Age Of The Music Press Interview] The days of extraordinary access, when a reporter might spend a week with a band on its tour bus or private plane, hanging out in their dressing rooms and hotel suites, are at an end. Stuart Maconie looks back at the lost world – those revealing encounters between journalist and musician. The program features classic recorded archive interviews with Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Bob Marley and Michael Jackson – as well as contributions from journalists Caitlin Moran, Barney Hoskyns, Allan Jones, Dawn Slough and others. Link
[“Light pollution”] My freaking neighbors keep their outside spot lights and flood lights on all freaking night.

Because they’re scared. They move to the Keys from the Big City where they’ve lived in fear most of their lives. If the owners are landlords and the guests are renters, it’s because they’re scared… In fact, most of America lives with night lights on. It’s the bed wetter generation.

[“Government orders 1300 affordable housing units in Keys”] Where are those 1300 work force—affordable housing — units going to be built? Of course, they won’t be built in Key West or Marathon, why provide for scum—the people who clean toilets and sweep floors—the common rabble mixing elbows with the tourists? Put them somewhere where they can’t be seen like Big Pine Key or any other of the lower Keys. If history is any indication of what will happen, is that those affordable housing units will suddenly be magically upgraded thru a loophole that only the developers realized was there, into market rate housing. Have we seen our sterling Country Commissioners pull the wool over the voters’ eyes? A case in point, what about Sylvia Murphy’s Rowell Marina that was used as a toxic dump site for hurricane debris. Would you let your kids play there? And all the Pritam Singh pastel ticky tacky units up and down the Keys. I’ll just bet Pritam is salivating to get his hands on Big Pine Key. The County Commission will sell out to make a buck; and we voted for them.
I bought a CybertronPC computer two years ago and the USB ports on the frot are lose from too much in and outs. I phoned them trying to buy a replacement part and they said, no problem we’ll send you one free of charge. Two years!  Now that’s service. I must say the CybertronPC is the most powerful, fast, and reliable PC I’ve ever had. I’d never heard of them before I started doing research to buy a new PC. They had the best price, guarantee, tech support and speed of any others. Link
Here’s Everyone Who’s Immigrated to the U.S. Since 1820. Use the controls at the bottom to stop / resume the animation or to move back and forth in time. Watch the lower left of the screen for the time lapse.  For the past 200 years where have all the people been coming from? Notice what happens after 1960. Video
Truth is the unalterable bedrock of one’s life and mission. And the other, malleable truth of politicians, charlatans, corrupt lawyers, and their clients, is bent and molded to serve whatever purpose was at hand.




FTR Guy adjusting to his new life in Tennessee.

[?] James the Gemini, if you’re reading this, it took me a while, but I figured out your brilliant trick. You, Sir, are the Man! It is wonderful to be done with Big Piners and that trick of yours was simply amazing. The light bulb moment just happened this year and my family is giggling our heads off. Maybe it was the threat from the little New Yorker who said that it would “stone” my dogs – but it lived next door to a vile man for many years and we feel completely vindicated with Irma being even more poetic justice. Thank you heavy handed and corrupt code enforcers, misinformation, gossip hounds, loud mouthed New Yorkers, Fred for the yard work and handsome James! God Bless you and all the government entities.
[The News] After reading the news online, it must drive some people over the edge to see all the miserable crap that is going on. The media rules this planet and people are hypnotized into believing all the mind-bending nonsense. Maybe the world would be better off without news.



This year, the June solstice falls on Thursday, June 21, 2018 in all U.S. and Canada time zones, specifically at 6:07 A.M. EDT. 48 superimposed photos of the sun, taken during a year, one per week, in the same place and time, in the Cathedral of Burgos. The highest point is the summer solstice and the lowest is the winter solstice.

[Workforce Housing] Be prepared for another huge tax increase. Who’s going to pay for those 1300 workforce units? They might try and pull a shell game on us, the taxpayers, and claim that they are affordable housing units as prescribed by our beloved elected officials in Tallahassee, but they are undeniably workforce housing that only benefit the life blood of the Country—tourism. And now if that isn’t enough of a slap in the face comes Public Transport. I mean how will these minimum wage workers going to get to work at their job unless transportation is provided at taxpayers’ expense. Well suckers, I’ve got part of the solution. Put those workforce housing units where they will do the most good, where most of the tourists are–Key West, Marathon, Islamorada, and let’s not forget Sylvia Murphy’s domain–Key Largo. There’s minimum need to ruin Big Pine Key.  No droves of tourists flock to BPK. If we put workforce housing where the tourists spend all their money there won’t be a need for additional public transportation. The Key West shuttle is more than enough.
[Keep the Keys As Is] Who is spending all our money to beautify the Keys when we want them left alone? Looks like the junta is being conned by the aluminum fence whores, the wood railings makers, the grass planters and anybody else who obviously kicks back to the suits. What next, a Jaws Restaurant, A Resident Charge to live here beyond the ridiculous taxes we pay? Time to sort out the greedy bastards that we pay to do our maintenance.
Does anyone have a cure for elbow tendinitis which has been hurty for 9 long months? I found Jägermeister effective and take a lot of the standard supplements SAM-e, Tumeric Currcurmin, Flaxseed oil, CBD oil plus hot Epsom salt baths and capzatian creme. The only thing which takes away the pain is Celebrex and not generic, then no drinking is allowed. Ice & massage help a little. But the pain from sleeping and just moving my arm is bad. Weed does not help; it just makes me eat more and my metabolism is slowing down. Cortisone shots are dangerous and expensive where you have to make your deductible and maybe I go out of pocket. Or just stay on the Jäger.
[Crooks] Dear  Friend,
I hope this may not constitute sort of embarrassment to you, My name is Dr.Robert S. Raymond, I am the regional bank manager of the STANBIC BANK Nigeria PLC.I am 51 years of age and married with 3 lovely kids.It may interest you to hear that I am a man of PEACE and INTEGRITY;only hope we can assist each other… (scam continues)
With all the woman suing for sex harassing going around, how come we don’t hear of the sewer people being locked up for false accusations, attempts to degrade, fraud, etc., and their lawyers should get slammed too. Time for fairness and revenge!



[“Lights, lights, lights”] You have three options, go talk to them, block the light, decorate with a large mirror and reflect the light back.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] When is enough, enough. Every time the County Commission comes up with a “brilliant idea” it ends up costing the taxpayers more, and more, and more. Will it ever end. When will us taxpayers get elected officials that are honest and concerned with the state of the residents. We’ve been subjected to nothing but cheaters, liars, con artists and crooks. Is there an honest politician available? Maybe in Fantasy Land but not in Monroe County.
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