2018 March

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​

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[“Insurance company sucks”] I agree. I work in insurance and it makes me crazy. But in the case of the storm I have noticed that no one has used their agent. I do not know who you agent was, but I know I cannot do what you requested, but should you have contacted them sooner they should have been able to help you. There are a few things most people do not understand. The county perimeters, the mortgage company perimeters, and the insurance perimeters are not the same.
Just because you got a claim check does not mean your file is closed. It means go ahead and start your repairs and send in any additional receipts for materials and labor to the company for further review (Supplemental Claim). Make sure you know how much damage was from wind and how much was from flood. Also understand how much your deductible is. Once you bring in an independent adjuster your agent’s hands are tied. Once you start a law suit your claim will probably take up to two years to resolve. Insurance is a necessary evil if you have a mortgage. Based on our recent experience if you are educated in understanding your insurance you can avoid many of the pitfalls. Sorry for your situation, and everyone else’s. I understand your anger and frustration. I do not have insurance and did not accept FEMA money, but the county is making me take off my roof and do it again to comply with the present day roofing code. Apple, oranges and bananas …
The lotteries are going nuts with these 1/2 billion dollar prizes. I wish they would make it like the old days, where many people could win up to a $1 million and get it all. It sure would make more people happier.
[FTR on Term Limits]  A huge tip of this Olde Farte’s fedora to Phil Goodwin.  Mr. Goodwin is the Chair of the Florida Keys Mosquito Control District.  He has worked for several years to bring term limits to the Florida Mosquito Control District.  In years past, his efforts were rebuffed by long-term commissioners. Some who actually voted to give themselves healthcare for life on your tax dime. Now, his hard work has come to fruition.  Over the course of two terms, he convinced the Board to vote to self-impose term limits.  Then he worked hard with our legislators to pass a local bill to permit term limits to become law.  Then, this Friday, Governor Rick Scott signed the legislation.  It is now law.  Florida Keys Mosquito Control District Commissioners are limited to three 4-year terms.  Huge kudos to Chairman Phil Goodman and to all of the commissioners who voted for the change.  It would be a very good thing if every elected official in Monroe County would work as hard to put term limits in place as did Mr. Goodwin.
[“How did 84 Lumber come into BPK”] Smells like another payola deal. Why do we need another lumber yard unless developers have a master plan to cover our island with “affordable” houses.
[Keys Real Estate] “Naive local writer” In response to your post, naivety has nothing to do with my thoughts. Your fail to take into account that the Keys are not, and never can be, a sprawling metropolis able to sustain anyone who fancies a house here to only spend a few weeks or months of the year. There is very limited real estate to inhabit. This is not a place where developers and local planning commissions can keep bulldozing acres upon acres. I’m sure there are many who would be content with Miami Beach-like condominiums along every inch of rock of the Overseas Highway.  What difference would it make if the reef dies off and the ocean becomes smelly and polluted as long as it looks nice enough from a twelfth story condo?  The difference would be why bother making the three hour drive for more of the same. If you are unable to see and respect the limitations here, then you fail to see the beauty and serenity. If you fail to see the beauty and serenity, then you have no business here and you certainly don’t deserve to cash in on paradise. Just because a story repeats itself does not make it right.

As far as your suggestion of looking to the obscure armpits of America at real estate, I own my home here and I’m not looking for vacationers to cover a mortgage for me. If my interest was in being here only part of the time to avoid the bitter cold of my actual birth home I would not own a house here. Houses in the Keys require constant maintenance. They need to be lived in by people who care about them. They should not be owned by people who hate our community and only care about stuffing their wallets.

Furthermore, to clarify the ignorance of your insight, we locals, writers included, look at the areas of “Seattle to San Diego, Boston to Washington DC, Manhattan and San Francisco” blah blah blah as the true armpits of this country and there is nothing obscure about them. It’s why we choose to live here far, far away. Isn’t it about time to take your big city ideas home to where they are loved and admired? I smell jellybeans.

Keys homes should belong to Keys residents because we understand what is necessary to preserve this incredible yet precarious natural environment and there is nothing naive about that.

America’s youth has some issues that need to be addressed. As stewards we have failed miserably. The cost of this could be our freedom. They feel socialism is good, everyone gets a trophy, they require safe spaces. They feel the government should fix everything, yet they have not a clue what the three branches of government are or how they work. Allowing the liberal/socialist/progressive/Democrats to run our public schools, removing the American flag and the Pledge of Allegiance from our classrooms, Civics is no longer taught. All this is protected by tenure & public sector unions. We have allowed this to go unchecked for way to long. It’s going to take some time to turn this ship around. The good news is we can turn this great America around & it has begun.
[“Insurance company sucks”] My house had a bunch of Irma wind damage. The insurer paid a pittance and hoped I would go away. Guess you were not here when Hurricane Andrew scarified Homestead. The insurance companies bailed like rats. State Farm was the worst. To this day, they pick and choose where and how they will insure. On the mainland, coastal insurance is not as easy to get as insurance 20-25 miles inland. No issues getting flood either. And it’s not all Citizens Insurance
[Burning Debris] After suffering burning eyes, nasal discharge, and sever tightness in my lungs from Monroe County’s debris burning last October & November, I am suffering the same symptoms from breathing smoke on Cudjoe Key recently.  My neighbors smelled the same toxic smoke early on March 23d.  The smoke was very evident in oncoming headlights, driving US 1 in the early morning.  The smoke came from the North.  Is there more burning in Monroe County? or is this smoke from the burning cane fields on the mainland?  It’s awful!
[Freedom of Speech Denied] We are not supposed to post political posts on this blog, but why not? Because some local bimbos can’t understand the real world and hide under their shower heads, the rest of us have to go elsewhere for survival and to try to voice our opinions to save our government and America. Let’s go back to posting whatever we send in and make the CT viewers notice reality again
Crazy is a term of art; Insane is a term of law. Remember that, and you will save yourself a lot of trouble.  ~Hunter Thompson
[Guns] For the confiscation advocate who doesn’t know me, well you don’t know my boys either. I can tell that your breathless rants are genuine, in other words, you truly believe this that you write about-removing certain American freedoms. I believe in your quest for answers, revenge, against violence, you have stepped on Common Sense’s toes. The odds are pretty good that I won’t snap and start killing people. And yes, my boys know where the key to the safe is; their guns are in there too. What a discredit to and, forgive me, despicable thing it is that you believe about humanity and specifically boys, simply because guns exist in my house and they might turn into murderers?  They grew up with guns as did I and have never harmed anyone. I have never shot anyone. My mother, father, four brothers have not snapped and shot anyone despite the fact that we all had guns. An M1 Garand was propped in the corner of our kitchen as my brothers and I were growing up, a box or two of cartridges in a kitchen cabinet; all my friends knew it was there and no murders occurred. And here is the utter absurdity of your thinking. By your own account, you had access to a gun when you were growing up (you claimed to know where the key to a gun safe was). I think it is safe to say that this fact did not turn you into a killer, that you have not snapped in that way. I’m sure that you don’t believe you will snap in the future. Why must you assume, at the expense of my freedom with your confiscation ranting, that my wonderful boys might snap and be turned into killers? What makes you so immune to snapping? The answer is because you won’t. And you know it. I won’t either.
Two things have become very apparent in school shootings. All the shooters came from fatherless homes and our family values have gone to hell in a handbag.
The Liberal/Progressive/Socialist/Democratic Party plays fast & loose with God, religion & the structure they provide. Nearly 50 million abortions have been preformed in the United States. We have been desensitized to the killing of babies. How can this be good? Strong, long lasting commitments to family, and most of all kids, are no longer top priorities. Relationships have given way to casual hook ups. It’s not uncommon to see a single mom with 3 or 4 kids, in some cases, brought about by 3 or 4 relationships with no dad in sight! A father in the home–involved, loving, sharing and teaching every single day, is your answer. So if you want to do something about school shootings, first arm any school staff that is qualified and willing to be trained. Then put God and his love for the family back in your life and in the classroom. Until this task is accomplished, remember this. The only thing that will stop a bad person with a gun is a good person with a gun. I realize the truth can be a bitter pill to swallow and I have most likely violated your safe space. It was my intention. Just being fair and balanced, as I try to be. Your comments are welcome.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” And stupid. We should be scared shitless of stupid!
[“Gun deaths”] Let’s get a few things straight about gun deaths in the United States. In 2017, 43 children were killed in school shootings (including the shooters) per the NY Times. In 2017, 3,800+ children were killed in motor vehicle accidents per In 2017, 500+/_ children were killed by their parents (basically half by mom and half by dad) per CNN.In 2017, over 600,000 abortions were reported to the CDC per CNN.

Why people are they not in hysterics over children murder by their parents, killed in MVAs[?] or aborted? Guns are a right. Driving is a privilege. Ban cars.  Guns are a right. Parenting is a privilege. Ban parents. Guns are a right. Abortion is wrong. Ban abortion



[‘Tis the Season] I saw this upstate in Pasco County a few days ago, probably on route to BPK.

It is so easy to plant a coconut, all you have to do is find a coconut, make a cut on two sides of it and through in dead tree area. Some of them will grow. Thee little islands off shore needs a bit of tropical plants. Help out, will you.
Why is the Coast Guard pulling over dinghies? This is the second time I have seen big orange Coasties inspecting rubber dinghies. Pull over and inspect go-fast boats that can carry much more than just a joint.



Mosquito yard spray recipe.

Someone asks, ”Why do the illegals come to America for free stuff and don’t respect our laws, flag or citizens, when they could just as well fix their own country to make it their America?” Perhaps they could answer their own question by asking themselves why so many of our legal citizens choose not to do any work, instead expecting free stuff while not respecting our laws, flag or their neighbors. These people, legal or illegal, are like roaches. As long as free stuff is provided, they will continue to weaken our society. Don’t complain, vote for change.  ~Mike Gushey
[Illegal Clearing] If you are concerned about the illegal clearing, without permit, of the former Caribbean Spa site by 84 Lumber, please voice your concerns and attend the Code Compliance meeting in Marathon this Thursday at 9 am. Marathon Government Center. In addition, 84 Lumber repaired the substantially damaged former Spa building without permits or MOCO review.  You know what would have happened to a citizen if they did this?  Don’t let them get away with a slap on the wrist!



[Kindness] In what you say of another, apply the test of kindness, necessity and truth, and let nothing pass your lips without a 2/3 majority.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store. Down Town Big Pine Key. In our 35th year. Thank you Piners!


This is Mark Anthony Conditt – the Austin Bomber. He is a terrorist. He killed himself with a literal suicide bomb – injuring a cop in the process. He is the lone suspect in bombings that murdered a Black boy and a Black man and injured many others. Hateful, well armed white men continue to be the most dangerous terroristic threat to this nation.

[16th Century Florida] The Indians we had so far seen in Florida are all archers. They go naked, are large of body, and appear at a distance like giants. They are of admirable proportions, very spare and of great activity and strength. The bows they use are as thick as the arm, of eleven or twelve palms in length, which they will discharge at two hundred paces with so great precision that they miss nothing. I myself saw an arrow that had entered the butt of an elm to the depth a hand span.




4,000 years later and we’re back to the same language!

[“Insurance company sucks”] Ha, welcome to the real world, buddy. Try to remember who insurance companies are from the old days with the Molotov Cocktails if you didn’t buy it. It’s a racket like everything else!
Join the staff and board of Habitat for Humanity of Key West and Lower Florida Keys on Saturday, April 7th. From 2 – 4pm at the Gardens Hotel for a Meet and Greet with Diana Nyad.  Diana is best remembered by folks in the Keys for her historic Cuba to Key West swim in 2013.  Diana, her partner Bonnie Stoll, and their group of volunteers from EverWalk, a new walking initiative, will be working alongside Habitat staff and homeowners on home repair projects in the Big Pine area every afternoon from April 2nd – 6th after their morning 10 mile walk.  Their week of volunteerism with Habitat will be recognized at this event.

Entertainment will be provided by local favorites Raven Cooper, Claire Finley, and Megan Clay Constantine. Suggested donation at the door $10. (More if you can, less if you can’t.) Cash Bar. All proceeds benefit Habitat for Humanity’s work towards affordable housing and critical home repair. For more information about EverWalk, visit

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