2016 May

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

broken-jaw-deer2[Key Deer] This deer has a broken jaw and is dying. I called the Key Deer emergency number at 10 am Sunday morning to report it and talked to a machine. The machine didn’t even identify itself as being with the Refuge, it just said to leave a message.

From past experience I know they probably won’t do anything. I called about a suffering deer some years ago and they called me back two days’ latter. It appears they only manage the refuge M-F from 9-5 or thereabouts. It’s a shame that they aren’t more concerned with the suffering of these helpless creatures and actually manage them. They’ll say they feel bad, but lip service doesn’t alleviate suffering.

[“Environmentalists causing more seaweed”] That was one of the more foolish assumptions I’ve read. The reason unused farm lands have been planted to grow corn to produce ethanol is to help reduce America’s reliance on foreign oil.

I can only guess at the author’s political affiliation, but then this post would be relegated to the National Politics page if I did.




[Self-feeding Fire Pit] Redneck ingenuity at it’s best.

Woman follows GPS directions into Lake Huron. Link

[No Balls] Please bring our “3” ball back. Yes, we replaced it. No, it’s not the end of the world, but I am worried about you because there is a curse on anyone or group of people that remove billiard balls from the NUT. So before it’s too late and some bad juju comes your way, return it. Thanks.  ~Coconuts

I want into my doctor’s office to correct my records that they have online through a health-net system. I was overwhelmed by the stupidity of the office person. No, I did not have a sex change. No I do not have xyz+ blood, and, no, I am not pregnant. Who else’s records are that screwed up you have to wonder?
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[“Street game to sucker punch people is a game of cowards”] It’s a game of fools. An article last week said Monroe County residents hold more gun permits than any other county in state per capita with roughly 8,000 people holding a concealed carry permit, or about 1 in 10. If this is happening locally please tell us where. There’s a legal remedy in place to stop it.
legos stack[Online Legos] Something for the little “coconuts”. Build with Legos right on your computer or laptop. Not everything you do on Google has to be completely practical. Sometimes you just need a break. That’s why you’ll love this browser extension. Watch this video to see how you can. Video
As an Independent, I ran against County Commissioner George Neugent in 2006 and 2010, and against Heather Carruthers in 2008. It is true, running for county commission is taxing, especially the long drives to Key Largo, where candidate forums include Key Largo’s local elections, fire district, sewer board, etc., as well as county commission, school board, mosquito board, state and national office seekers.

It’s not worth the time, emotional road wear and car expense to drive all the way up there to one of those forums, only to be given a minute, or so, to introduce yourself, and then be asked one question, and then you have a minute, or so, to answer it. But you have to drive up there anyway to get a feel for what is happening on Key Largo and to get to know the people living up there. I made some darn good friends up there by doing that, tuned-in friends. One is Sylvia Murphy.

From a recent Key West Citizen article on going from at large (countywide) to district voting for county commissioners:

Sylvia-Murphy“County Commissioner Sylvia Murphy said changing to single member districts would be equivalent to voters giving up four-fifths of their vote. ‘That commissioner will answer to you and the other four will probably ignore you entirely because they are not depending on your vote,’ Murphy said. ‘It makes the county very splintered and it leaves no one caring about what is good for the county. It’s probably the worst idea that I’ve heard in a long time.’”

I agree with Sylvia. Using her simply to make her point generally, if she gets to vote on what she thinks is best for Key West, Cudjoe Key, Big Pine Key, Marathon, Long Key, Islamorada, etc., then people living in in those areas should get to vote for or against her.

But for Sylvia, the County Commission very well might have let Roger Bernstein talk the county into actually, or de facto, annexing undeveloped Wisteria Island a few hundred yards from Key West, and then letting Bernstein turn it into Sunset Key Deux.

Bernstein was trying to get Key West to provide parking, police and fire, water and sewer for his Wisteria development. In Key West, this was viewed by many as an attempt by Bernstein, and his field general Jim Hendrick, to do an end run around the part of the city’s charter, which required a referendum for Key West to annex or acquire real estate. Many viewed Bernstein as using the county to help Key West de facto annex Wisteria without referendum approval.

At a county commission meeting I attended in Marathon, Sylvia directed county staff to poll Key West City city government about Wisteria. It was thought back then by many in Key West that Heather Carruthers was in Roger Bernstein’s pocket. However, she and Kim Wigington joined Sylvia in directing county staff to poll Key West. It was a 3-0 vote. The two men county commissioners were out of town.

Sylvia then drove all the way down from Key Largo to Key West to attend a city commission meeting containing a specially-added Wisteria Island agenda item instigated by Sylvia at the earlier county commission meeting. Sylvia was welcomed by the city mayor and city commissioners and invited to speak. She said she and the county government wanted to be good neighbors. She wanted to know how Key West felt about participating in the development of Wisteria Island? After she spoke, the mayor and city commissioners voted unanimously that the city wanted nothing to do with the development of Wisteria.

The next day in Key West was a county commission meeting with a Wisteria development item on the agenda. Bernstein withdrew the Wisteria development application before that meeting started, so the county commissioners could not vote on it.

Even after Bernstein lost in federal court trying to prove his family, not the U.S. Government, owns Wisteria, Bernstein continued to try to sneak a disguised Wisteria development through the County Commission, and Sylvia remained poised like an osprey (which I have seen attack and drive off bald eagles) ready to strike.  ~Sloan Bashinsky

heart in bloddy handDoctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S. Ask the individual to smile.
T. Ask the person to talk and speak a simple sentence (Coherently, i.e. It is sunny out today?)
R. Ask him or her to raise both arms.
A. Ask the person to ‘stick’ out his tongue.  If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other.  That is also an indication of a stroke
[Government Logic] If you bring too much liquid, the TSA confiscates it and throws it away, in case it’s a bomb. So they throw it away. In case it’s a bomb. In a garbage can, right next to them. With all the other possible bombs. In the area with the most amount of people.
Ganges River in India looks just like some of the creeks and rivers up in Miami and so do the people.
xmas palm decorated


[Florida Seasons] You know you live in south Florida when you know all four seasons:
Almost summer
Still summer

So you say the wealthy industrialists and small business people willing to invest in commercial enterprises that create jobs are just useless?
zombie boo


If a mosquito bights a zombie and then bites you, do you get to be a zombie? How about with GMO mosquitoes?

[Another Oil Spill] Royal Dutch Shell spills over 88,000 gallons of oil into Gulf of Mexico. Link
Dolphin spotting on the River Ganges. Video


[B-Man & the MizzBeeHavens] Thank-you so much to The Coconut Telegraph and all you folks that have supported us since we played at Boondocks and in Key West! And on Trop Rock for sure, as well! Phins-up!  ~B-Man & the MizzBeeHavens

Joseph Anthony Pilotti, 49, of Big Pine Key, was charged with sale of cocaine, possession of cocaine, possession of marijuana under 20 grams, possession of controlled substance without a prescription, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon.
dumb client dogbert jury


The lawsuit against FKAA should be a jury trial.  Apparently it’s easy to get a judge or commissioner to look the other way.  It’s much harder to get 12 people to all look the other way at the same time

The three stages of life:
1. Birth
2. What the hell is going on?
3. Death
accurate-home insp 700x175
This is only for those of you who love animals and always dreamed of becoming a Park Ranger.  Not quite the same as letting a ‘possum loose.  This is really an adrenaline rush, just to watch! These guys are Game and Fish dudes; don’t know from where. Video




Lionfish dinner.

[Travelocity] I feel for the other guy whose itinerary was messed up using Travelocity. I’m traveling soon to the northeast and Travelocity listed my return flight as arriving to KW 3 ½ hours before I leave the north! I complained and they told me to go to American Airlines site for the correct information. Why should I even bother with Travelocity if they refer me to someone else?

My next flights will be booked through Google at Google doesn’t mess up.

If you really want to level the playing field between the haves and have nots, then impose term limits: two 4-year terms, then you cannot run again, ever. End partisan primaries for county commission races and, like it’s done in Key West city races, if no one candidate gets over 50 percent of the votes, the two candidates getting the most votes are in in a runoff. Ban all forms of paid campaigning by local candidates, political parties and PACS. Let local candidates present themselves for vetting by the local news media, bloggers, and at candidate forums. Screw the First Amendment right to waste money begging people to vote or you, who don’t know you or the horse you rode in on. the Florida Keys ain’t the mainland, as everyone living here knows all too well.

Republican County Commissioner George Neugent enraged a heap of his rural constituents over forced widespread use of grinder pumps in Cudjoe Regional Sewer District, and he still carried his district in 2014 against a poor working class Democrat woman political newcomer who snagged about 45 percent of the overall countywide votes. Could that be in play here?

Key Largo has long griped about Key West dominating county government politics. Could that be in play here?

Going back in time, Dixie Spehar didn’t hardly have two nickels to rub together, but she won a seat on the county commission, became county mayor. She and Sonny McCoy, both of Key West, and Mario di Gennaro, of Marathon, might still be on the county county commission if they, then known as the Gang of Three, had not voted for the county to buy the Hickory House Restaurant and Marina on Stock Island for big bucks from one of Dixie’s good friends, who laughed all the way to the bank. The upper Keys voted strongly against Dixie and Sonny in the 2008 election, and strongly against Mario in the 2010 election.

There are 5 county commission districts. Key West has two of those districts. It just needs one more district commissioner up the way to give it a voting majority on the county commission. Most of the working people living in the lower keys commission district work in Key West. That district’s commissioner George Neugent is in, what?, his 5th, or 6th term? He lives in Marathon, but most of his district is below Seven Mile Bridge. After he retires or is beaten in a race by someone living, say, on Big Pine Key, or Cudjoe Key, or Sugarloaf Key, will there then form a Key West voting block of three district commissioners? A new “gang of three?”

Won’t the people in the middle and upper keys want to be able to vote in those three district commission races?, Key Largo’s county commissioner, Sylvia Murphy, asked me when I called her this morning

[Leviathan] The $1 billion Harmony of the Seas cut a gargantuan silhouette Sunday as it left the western port town of Saint-Nazaire. At 1,187 feet long, the 16-deck ship is bigger that the Eiffel Tower and holds the record for being the widest cruise ship ever built — boasting a 6,360-passenger capacity. Link
clubbing computer




Don’t take a club to your computer; take your computer to Computer Club. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

The old wooden bridge fish camp is just that. It’s small, quaint and unobtrusive as it is now. It’s unique and picturesque, and It’s ok for the neighborhoods as is , but if you put in a new 46 room hotel, a restaurant with loud music, jet skis, a hundred dry storage boat racks in a 35 foot high open boat barn, and a “convenience store”, it will change things there way too much. Don’t you think?

The plan is too intensive and the zoning is incompatible with that end of the island, being more intended for areas close to US 1 north to Lytton’s Way. Please scale it way down. It does not fit. Write or call the County Commissioners or it will slide in just like all the other over-development we have seen in the rest of the Keys. It’s inappropriate for that part of Big Pine in so many ways.




[“Yogurt for crotch rot”] Strawberry is my favorite. No, just kidding. It does make sense that the bacteria in yogurt would kill the bacteria in your crotch and stop the rash. I have a better way—Neosporin. It doesn’t smell, get sticky or attract ants, but it doesn’t taste as good!

If you use any of the online health medical records web sites, make sure you check all the data or else you can wind up screwed up by your doctor or hospital. Example: my blood type changed from 0+ to zx3. Ok, so I’m a Martian, right? You have to protect your 6! Check every entry and call them to fix it or make them delete your bad data. This is one of many sites doing this record keeping. Link
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[FKAA] The lawsuit is “frivolous and without merit,” county and water company officials said. “Trying to stop the sewer system ” they claim in their press release.   False.  Oh sure, they’ll say that, actually they’ll say anything it seems, but there are about a thousand or so folks who got intimidated and  we’re given a half-baked grinder pump system, having to rewire their homes, paying for electricity,  and accepting said system along with an easement onto their property when we were promised a gravity system. They lied.
There’s a lot of merit in this lawsuit in my opinion. Glad these ladies had the guts to bring it.
Question : Do you trust the FKAA?


[Backup Sensor]  Most people probably think that this valuable feature came out  of  the minds of engineers, but it was recently disclosed that the concept was first developed by a Chinese farmer.   His invention was simple and effective.  It emits a high-pitched squeal when the vehicle backs into something

[Beer For Breakfast] I do believe that people come to Key West to carry on that old tradition.
bagel tourist sun




The amazingly simple path to homemade bagel enlightenment. Link

[Key Deer Facts] Most males live about three years and females live about six years. The breeding season, or rut, takes place in the fall and early winter. Most mating occurs in October. Pregnancy is about seven months or 200 days, with most fawns born between April and June. Fawns are tiny – only 2-4 pounds at birth. Most does have only one fawn per year.

The males drop their antlers in February and March. Their new antlers start to grow immediately and have grown back by August.

Key deer live on 20-25 islands in the southern Florida Keys. They can swim between islands and move around their habitat in search of fresh water. They used to live across the lower Florida Keys, but now are only found in the areas from Sugarloaf Key to Bahia Honda Key. The National Key Deer Refuge was established in 1953.The Key deer is listed as endangered by the Endangered Species Act.

Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
[Oil Spill] Scientists are heading out to study the latest oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, a release of about 88,200 gallons from a Shell oil field about 90 miles off the coast of Louisiana. Last Thursday a leak from a pipeline at the Shell oil production field was spotted and clean-up vessels began to skim oil off the Gulf on Friday. The cleanup continues.



Zika outbreak epicenter is in the same area where genetically modified mosquitoes were released in 2015! Link

Google features you probably don’t use. Link


Why do they put the dot on top of a spray can’s rim? It doesn’t seem to matter which direction the nozzle is pointed, it works just as well in any position, so why the dot?

[Sewers] I would like to know if there are property owners who have had damage to their property while the sewers were being installed. I have had damage. I have contacted the company who caused the damage. They did not correct the problem. I have contacted FKAA. They said they would meet with the contractors and call me the next day. Nothing! What can I do?
confuciusConfucius Did Not Say:
Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.
Man who fights with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Wise man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood
no tax uncle samI think I will stop paying income tax because the people I hired to do things for me are not doing what I want them to do. They are using my money for their pet projects, war games, their vacations, their bubba system hand-outs and to support people who will not work for their up-keep. So with that in mind, I will cease and desist any monies I accumulate from today on. Now if you ask me who is going to pay for all the good stuff we get in this country, I say get the illegals, the bums, the foreign debtors and the useless eaters to pay what they owe. If that ever happened, we productive workers would live for the next 100 years on our dole!
[I Am His Hands. He Is My Eyes] This is one of the best stories I have ever read. Get together with a friend and achieve great things, always.  Have a better day. Link
Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
  3. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
  6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
  7. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
  8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
  9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
  10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
  11. It is hard to make a comeback, when you haven’t been anywhere.
  12. The world only beats a path to your door, when you’re in the bathroom.
  13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
  14. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
  15. It is not hard to meet expenses… They’re everywhere.
  16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..
  17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
  18. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
  19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
    20. Have I sent this message to you before…or did I get it from you


Everybody hates getting chips on their windshields. Except this one is on one of the windows on the International Space Station and could really be a problem! Remember, in space no one can hear you scream.

[Captain Doom and Gloom]
DEF: Dreams n, The only way us old guys have sex
DEF: Blonds n, A follicle falsification
DEF: Pubic n, An historical landing field
DEF: Zoo n, A place for sad animals SEE: Washington DC
DEF: Doctor n, A banker with a stethoscope
DEF: Cheese n, A mold that is fit to eat, sometimes
DEF: Hot Dog n, Animal parts nobody will eat unless disguised
DEF: Liverwurst n, SEE: Naked Hot Dog


Bladeless wind generator. Video

What will put the final nail in the coffin of the Florida Keys is the hammer being wheeled by the bleeding heart affordable home nuts. They will build junk housing for junk people and turn these billion dollar islands into a holly roller one inhuman family debris fields. The potential of these islands, which are the only tropical islands, save Hawaii, could have been grand, but, no, the losers want their cheapo shacks for their hired-hands. Good bye Keys, you were grand while you lasted. I just might open a pay-per-view welfare office on each Key, how’s that?
ftr from the right 75h

[FTR] The Great Gray Lady liberal battleship, The New Yawk Times, has fired what they believed to be a ‘yuge’ broadside salvo against the Trump flotilla.  (continued on the National Politics page …)

Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

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