2021 May

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Followers

The old Harris School in Key West on the corner of Southard and Margaret Streets. The once gorgeous structure constructed of Indian block, now sits as a car parking lot in deplorable condition.
Imagined response to how this once proud structure can be left in this condition: “Shut up, sit back, and pay your taxes; and don’t bark to loud, we might turn it into a 5 dollar t-shirt shop. Sad. Link

[Designer Handbags] Here’s the sad truth ladies. I didn’t want to ever have to tell you this, but men never notice a woman’s handbag. You can spend a thousand dollars on a bag and we won’t notice it. We’ll notice your cloths, jewelry, makeup, hair, body, skin and definitely your shoes, but never your handbag.

All woman are bi. It’s your job to guess if it’s sexual or polar.
[Memorial Day Ceremony] We’ll have an opportunity to gather together and honor the sacrifices made by those members of our armed forces killed in action. Please join the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 10211, in partnership with our County’s magnificently supportive Administrator Roman Gastesi, Veterans Affairs Director Cathy Crane and State Attorney/VFW Commander Dennis Ward; for a Memorial Day ceremony inside the Murray Nelson Government Center auditorium. The ceremony will start promptly at 11AM sharp on May 31.
[Blood Suckers Everywhere] The phone solicitations never stop. People have been out of work for months and the bastards keep asking for more more more. I tell the caller to take half of their salary and donate it after taking my freaking phone number off their list!

Moving sale 20135 Camellia Lane, Big Pine Key Saturday May 22nd from 9 to 3 Please no early birds.


Wine drinking cat gets totally drunk. Thankfully, she is not driving. Video

[Redundant] Every time I go to a new doctor, even a dentist, they make you fill out a lengthy form detailing your medical history.  But I swear they never read them because they always ask questions that I answered in the forms — always!
I have mixed drinks about feelings.


[Art Is A Waste of Time] Why are there so many flaky artists in the Keys? Doesn’t anyone down here work for a living? Work for 40 hours then you can throw paint at the walls!

[Points of View] It amazes me how people shrink from feedback and won’t state their viewpoint or even acknowledge the subject when it is religious, racial or political, yet they will go to war and harm others not agreeing with their point of view! What happened to logic and reason on this planet?
[Misogynist] Unlike women, men read things with an open mind then formulate a logical outcome to a given situation. Men do not operate on emotions or glandular feedback. If the opinion of one man is not popular then that opinion is null, but if the majority support such an opinion, then that can become law. With woman all is law until something happens that deletes that idea even it it’s for no apparent reason. This is why most countries will not allow women to have any say in anything important beyond flushing a toilet. This has kept this planet sound until greed and sheepishness culled out a large sector of manhood. When the next world war hits us, then men will be back in control. Amen.
[Incentives] A further observation in the decline of civilization is that we have to pay people to donate blood and get the virus vaccine.


[What Could Go Wrong Department] I see you putting gasoline in those Wal-Mart sacks. No one wants to microchip you, I promise!

[Irony] Did you ever notice that when you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs”?
[Democracy] “Once chimpanzees realize they can vote themselves free bananas they will never climb another tree.” That was written by Robert Heinlein, the famous SIFI author who wrote The Moon is a Harsh Mistress and Farnham’s Freehold (which should be read by all Americans-if it hasn’t already been banned by the Wokers).
[“Deer on a leash”] I saw a deer wearing hip boots on Big Pine the other night. He did have a little smile on his face. What’s up with that!



Grappler Anchor for Sale $90. 352-207-6492.

[Job Security] It seems refuge people don’t like citizen solutions. That’s just them trying to be the boss. They don’t realize that most of us long-time residents living in the refuge probably have more practical knowledge of Key deer than anyone.


Radio personality Steve Miller now Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce Executive Director. Everybody likes Steve! Link

When I deliver a baby can I tie the umbilical cord’s cut end in a knot or do I have to use string? Hurry up, it’s coming out!


[Gender] When you see a cat you say, “Look at her.” When you see a dog you say, “Look at him.” In general, people seem to think cats are feminine and dogs are masculine.

Whew, electric skateboards whizzing by my wife and I on our nightly Key West geriatric walk. They were doing about 25 mph. Glad they were wearing helmets; we feel much safer. [sarcasm]!


[Panic Buying] Back in my day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled, “Last call!”