2022 November

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Bitcoin] Sorry to anyone who lost their child’s college fund but it’s kind of funny you fell for a looney tunes-ass scheme run by knock off Anton Yelchin and a girl who looks like she could play a caterpillar in an elementary school play.
[Death Row Thinking] We are all murderers. We just haven’t found the right person yet. Everyone’s a murderer, all you need is a good reason and a bad day.
[Attraction] Why are kids so drawn to one another from toddlers up to adulthood? If you put a couple of kids in a room with adults, the kids will naturally migrate towards each other.
[Beer & Wheel] The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet. So while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.
[Junk Mail Revenge] Does anyone know how to send back all the junk email ads and bull s**t and make them suffer like we do?
[Epson Salts] I just looked online for the best stuff to fill the tub with and soak in and every damn site tried to sell me some crap that smells good but does nothing health wise, except Epson Salts. Epson Salts has some draw backs too. The best thing is to head to the ocean, try finding a clean area, and soaking in the waves for an hour. In other words, go play in the water we came from in the first place. Nothing man made has the effect to help your skin and bones as the good old ocean and lots of sun. Enjoy (except you guys along the NJ coast. Ha.)
[Idaho Students Murder] God bless the victims as well as family and friends. There is a plethora of on-site evidence and it will nail him.

[Thanksgiving Celebration] There are no thanksgiving songs. No one has found a way to commercialize on Thanksgiving.

[Read] Under The Sea children’s books by Keys resident Margaret (Maggie) Vogelsang. (No link submitted)

[WKRP] Still one of the greatest Thanksgiving day TV skits ever. Les Nesbitt’s turkey drop publicity stunt. They were frozen!

[“Old lady slowpoke driver”] Sir, the best advice I can suggest about communicating with your wife is you stay home and after she leaves call her on cell and talk, I mean listen!
[?] Key deer house on 26 oct only. Flooded most of the month. $80 total.


Elon Musk begins testing “economy class” rocket for SpaceX program.

If WiFi shuts down, would we have peace on earth?
Here’s wishing you a happy and festive Thanksgiving. We hope your day is filled with love and laughter. Our office will be closing at 1pm on Wednesday, November 23rd, and will remain closed through Friday, November 25th. If you need us during that time, send us an email or call the office. We’ll be in touch as soon as possible. From all of us at Isaksen Insurance, Happy Thanksgiving!
November 22 is the 59th anniversary of the day Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas.
[Overexposure] I’d like to have a couple of days where I don’t see the words “Elon Musk”.


Pairing wine to keep the holiday peace.

My new SUV has a button that says, “Rear Wiper.” I’m afraid to push it!
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The Coconut Telegraph is published Tuesdays and Fridays.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 11/22/22 at 7:40 am