2016 November

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

turkey dinner wineThe Big Pine Moose Lodge will be hosting dinner on Thanksgiving from 1-4 pm and it is open to the community. We will be serving Turkey, ham and all the traditional fixings. We also deliver to shut-ins, if you know of any home bound person who would like to receive a dinner, please contact the lodge.
[Social Security & Medicare Story] When I turned 62 I applied for my Social Security benefits.  I started working full time at age 17.  For years, I paid into the program.  Then I went to work for a big city fire department and put my life on the line for 23 years until I was injured and retired due to a severe disability.  When I contacted the Social Security office I was told that I was qualified to receive my benefits.  I was then told that I was qualified for $1300 per month, but, because of an action by Congress, for the 23 years I paid into my private pension plan I was penalized a percentage for every year as a firefighter.  Rather than receiving the $1300 per month that I should have been eligible and had paid for, I would receive only $331 per month.  Then at 65 I signed up for Medicare.  Medicare takes their cut from the $331 that reduces my monthly Social Security to $112. Thank God I have a decent pension.  While Congress and the rest of the blood suckers in Washington, who all have unbelievable lifetime health insurance plans, generous retirement plans and benefits paid for by us, they deny the seniors and our military a small raise in benefits while claiming that they need a raise in salary.  In the meantime they give billions of dollars to countries that hate us, defund our military, ignore our veterans in need, and shelter illegal immigrants here to suck up more and more federal funds.  This has got to stop.


I got this sewer connect notice giving me 30 days to connect. In thirty days they will start charging us for extra water even though we aren’t using any more because out sewer isn’t connected, we can’t get a plumber to connect until at least March or April.

Most of the whiners are those who’ve lived here too long.
grinch santa scary[Commercialization OK] I can understand the angry sentiment of Christmas becoming too commercialized, but why get upset with a business like Coldwell Banker for celebrating the holidays early? Putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving is not a sin, it’s a choice. I used to feel the same way you do, thinking Christmas was just too commercialized. Then it occurred to me that it was actually a brilliant idea to put up lights and decorations before Turkey day. It makes everything even that more inviting, beautiful and festive when you have family over. Everyone gets to enjoy time together and for some even a shared feeling of Christmas before they return to their home state. Not only that but goodness knows the stress involved in getting ready for Christmas and when started early the hostess gets to enjoy the festivities as well. After all the work to put everything up, why not enjoy them a little bit longer? No, I’m not ashamed of Coldwell Banker for their blatant celebration of the Christmas season, au contraire, I actually applaud them! If you want to be the Grinch who stole Christmas do it on your own time. Bah, humbug is for the birds! There’s a reason for the season and even better to start that reason a month early, skipping Thanksgiving. The longer to enjoy the fruits of putting up the tree as well. Merry Christmas everyone! Merry, merry Christmas!
[Coming Soon To An Old Restaurant Near You] It looks like the former Big Pine Restaurant will open soon as the Bucktooth Rooster.  They are currently advertising for help.  They will be open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and rumor has it that they will feature southern style cooking BBQ and seafood. Hopefully with Keys friendly prices.   Let’s see how they do
[Comcast] I just spent 23 minutes on Comcast Chat trying to get them to tell me what movie channels I subscribe to. If I wanted to purchase something it would only have taken me a few seconds, those bums. P.S. The foreigner at Comcast was never able to tell me my subscribed to movie channels.

[Suicide] Assistant State Attorney Manny Madruga will be buried in consecrated ground through the Basilica of St. Mary Star of the Sea Catholic Church even though suicides are forbidden to be buried in consecrated ground through the Church. That’s quite hypercritical if you ask me.

[FTR on Health] I am convinced to a moral certainty that the use of GMM to control the mosquito that spreads Zika is both safe and effective.   The science supporting that belief is legion. The Oxitec process has been used in a host of other countries for years.   There has not been a single instance of any harm to humans, animals, or the environment.  Not one.  Millions of the GM mosquitoes have been released.  As a result, the native populations of those mosquitoes have been reduced by as much as 90%.  The FDA, the EPA, and other federal watchdog agencies have carefully examined the process and have deemed the process to be safe.

Just for the record, I’m not employed by anyone. I’m a retired cop.  Nor do I have any fiscal interest whatsoever in any of these issues.  But I am hard wired to push back against those who try to con the public.  Further, I’m ready to fight as long and as hard as it is necessary to protect my health and the health of my loved ones from the diseases carried by the mosquito that spreads Zika.  Damnit, the issue should have never gone to vote.  We don’t vote on what chemicals go into our drinking water. We don’t vote on which vaccines your kids must take.  These are public health issues.  By the way, don’t you wonder why the managers of Never Again choose to be anonymous.

Even though WHO has deemed the global Zika emergency to be at an end, they also clearly state that the disease is an extremely serious and continuing dire public health problem. Neither the Federal Government, the State of Florida, Miami Dade, Monroe, nor any other county in this state has changed its posture on Zika.

As 11/18 the Florida Dept of Health reported that there were 1188 reported cases of Zika in Florida. That number is 30 more than it was on 11/11.  Zika is here, it is in this community.

At a recent mosquito control board meeting, the Director of the Monroe County Health Department addressed the issue.  He had listened to the public comments section of the meeting where the operators of this group, Never Again, spoke out against the use of GMM.  He told the board that the “Anti’s” comments were full of innuendo, false charges, bad science, no science, and speculation.  He actually lectured the board that they had a duty to protect the public health by using whatever safe and effective means were available to protect the public health. And he told them to not bow to the demands of the misinformed or misguided few.  Given that the meeting was focused on a vote to either approve or disprove of an “Investigational Agreement” with Oxitec, the message was crystal clear that moving forward is a public health priority.

The facts are that the board at that meeting did not contract with Oxitec to begin wide spread release of GM mosquitoes.  The board simply agreed to permit Oxitec to seek permission from the FDA (etc) to find a site other than Key Haven for the field trial.  This process will not cost us taxpayers a penny.  Contrary to the lies being spread, Oxitec has taken out about $13 million in insurance policies.  It’s also worth noting that the process can save you and I big tax dollars, but that’s a subject for another day.

The big real estate interests have made it clear that they oppose the use of GMM because they fear that it will harm their property values.  One of them actually admitted that in a letter to the board. Others have made similar admissions Facebook. They have racked in tens of thousands of dollars. Nearly every penny of local money has come from local real estate interests.  But many thousands more came from out of state organizations with no local interest whatsoever. They simply are opposed to the use of GE under any circumstances.

If you ate a meal today, it is probable that you ate food that was genetically engineered. If you’re a diabetic, you may well be alive only because of genetic engineering.

One local Doc claims to be worried that the use of the GMM might somehow lead to a decrease in the efficacy of antibiotics because an antibiotic is used in rearing the GMM’s.  The fact is our nation currently uses more than 30   million pounds of antibiotics per year in raising our food animals alone.  If any of the food that you ate today was meat, it’s a near certainty that antibiotics were a part of its diet.

The amount of antibiotic used in rearing one batch of the GMM’s is roughly the amount of it that you excrete in your urine when you are taking Doc prescribed antibiotics.  Nonetheless the idea sure made a dandy scare item for his candidate wife to use in her campaign.  But it failed, she lost.

There you have it.  There is so much more, it will follow.  Sorry to take up so much space, but the lies put forward by the Anti’s are legion and you deserve to know.  The Anti messages just don’t pass the smell test.

petri-dish[Dirty Canals] A recent poster states that they won’t be inviting their friends back because they wanted to go swimming in the canals but asked, ‘Where the handle was to flush it?’  Too bad the poster, and everyone else can’t face reality.  Your canals are petri dishes full of s**t.  The only thing more disgusting than the canals is the general lack of will or concern to do anything about it.  Shameful laziness of the weak mind.
You don’t have to hold a position, to be a leader.  ~Henry Ford
[Charity] There’s a plea for donations for hurricane relief efforts in Haiti. In the past when you donate to charities, the crooked government takes the money and sets up a few phony photo ops to make it look like your money went to good use instead of some bureaucrat’s pocket.

[Sad Sack] 60-year-old Joseph Blahnik who was arrested for taking a backhoe on a joyride on the Seven Mile Bridge in February will spend two and a half years in state prison and pay more than $40,000 in restitution for the damage he caused.

America has a great sense of humor. Let’s laugh. Alec Baldwin returns as Trump. Video


In 1942 The Great Fog hung over London killing 4,000 people. It was caused from coal burning and people suffocated, there just wasn’t any air in London. The end result, over time, was 12,000 killed.
Frank Sinatra–A Foggy Day

[“People still deny global warming”] It is not denial by intelligent people, but a well-placed skepticism based on the distrust of government and many branches of the media. If they took away all government grants for studies confirming global warming I would imagine many of these claims would vaporize. By the way, did you know that there are factions working to get rid of air conditioning?  Remember when they forced companies to change their refrigerants because the old ones ate the ozone layer? Now these new refrigerants have been found to contribute to global warming. The HCF ones used in new ACs are being phased out in the US starting next year. This means the price you pay to charge your AC will skyrocket. And to make matters worse, most of the new refrigerants are flammable.


I’m posting for a man who lost his upper false teeth at Winn Dixie, Big Pine on Sunday morning. Please Piners be on the lookout and help this gentleman find them so he can enjoy Thanksgiving. Thanks in advance.  ~News Barometer

The population of Monroe County by the 1900 census was officially 18,066. It is now 76,351
The new politically correct term for white supremacists and racists: Alt Right.


[Screwworms] Volunteers, please don’t paint the deer. You don’t need to spray the Key deer with much color dye.  It only has to last for that one day.  Please don’t over-spray, we’ve recently seen several with half their bodies painted. We don’t want to do that, use as little dye as possible so that others can still see it.

[Local Theater] 39 Steps performed at the Marathon Community Theater. Video

[Nazis Begin] In February 1920, the German Workers Party became the Nationalist Socialist German Workers Party. Otherwise known as the Nazi party. Then in February of 1933, civil rights in Germany were suspended.

[Alcohol Abuse At Its Worst] Well this goes from bad to worse. Video
[All ISPs Suck, Not Just Comcast]  No, that’s not a spelling error! I just downloaded an AT&T program to help me get my system reset to the best connections and running right. I pay AT&T a lot of money for TV, web, dish, home phone, cell phone and whatever else they offer. But I am sickened that those gonads want to charge me more money per month to reset my stuff so I get better service. Hello, what the F am I paying them for? The whole freaking world is turning into greedy asswipes.



[Railroads] The standard span from rail to rail, an exact four feet, eight and a half inches. Ties had ten-and-a-half-inch gaps between them.

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we’re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.
peoples-court[Racial Comment] I’m sick of those morning courtroom reality shows where Negros who borrow money refuse to pay it back simply because they don’t want to. How can people be so ignorant?
[Affordable Housing] Key West’s government just approved half of the city’s rental tax money to go to the under-privileged for low rent housing so the merchant class can have cheap labor. Hope the tax payers in the Keys will understand why their real estate values are going down to be bought up by developers. This play book is being used in every area where the land is worth more than the people on it! It looks like it’s “There goes the neighborhood” in Key West.
nira-tocco 700x175
Marijuana robs you of you’re ambition. Stoned, stupid, and lazy is no way to go through life, son
comcast-bad[Comcast Guaranteed Appointment] I wrote in Tuesday’s CT complaining about them missing my ‘guaranteed’ appointment to replace my cable box. No one came and they didn’t tell me. No one called. “Guaranteed”?

They made a new appointment for last Friday from 10-12 ‘guaranteed’. I called Friday morning because I don’t trust them. They said it was on schedule. At 10:30 I received a robo-call telling me the guaranteed appointment wasn’t going to happen. I called them and they confirmed that the appointment was still on schedule for 10-12. Still not trusting them I phoned again. The recorded voice told me the appointment was on schedule ‘guaranteed’ from 10-12 Friday. I didn’t trust them still so I called again and finally got a live tech who told me that ‘guaranteed’ means that if Comcast misses an appointment I get $20. Why didn’t the two techs I spoke to when they missed my appointment the first time tell me about the $20?

He also said it would be another 4-5 days before a tech came. At that point I lost it. Then they told me that someone would come that day from 3-5 pm. (and people ask me why I drink!). They did come and fixed my tv after 14 days without. The only good thing about no tv was I missed the election and it’s terrible aftermath.

[New Owners] Let’s see which bar will sell out first between Big Pine Key and Stock Island? The way things are looking they all might go at once, if the big guys make officers that cannot be refused!



Realtors have a questionable enough reputation as it is, but skipping Thanksgiving for Christmas is inexcusable.

If you can tell the difference between, or can pick, the organic produce out of the rest of the section, you deserve to be able to pay more for it–lots more.
Top 20 Flea Markets in the US. Link
opium-poppy[Opium 19th Century China] “I had conveniently clung to Father’s beliefs, one of which was that smoking opium was a habit the Chinese were born with. When we first arrived in Ipoh, I had been shocked by the number of addicts on the streets, but I had since grown used to them. Although I pitied the men, I assumed they were responsible for their own misery. Peng Choon was the first to tell me that it was the British who encouraged opium addiction. The colonial administration sold opium indirectly — via opium farms, which were rented out as concessions. Chinese businessmen were encouraged to bid for the farms and to run them; in turn, they plied the drug to the coolies who worked for them. It was the same with gambling. There were gambling concessions and farms into which Chinese coolies were enticed every payday. In fact, the only people allowed by law into gambling dens in Perak were the Chinese. Through these simple means the colonial administration raised money — while keeping its conscience clean and its Chinese workers in thrall.”
Let’s look at computing today. Everything runs at the speed of light, so everything you type or click on is instantly conveyed to whomever is looking at your connection and or reading off your storage drives. Not to say Big Brother is doing this, but lots of marketers are, as well as servers in a deep hole somewhere in Nevada! So should we go back to paper and pencil or live with this new world order of no privacy? It’s up to you.
pen-pal[FTR’s Identity Revealed — again] Special to the apparently angry person who demands to know my identity.  If you wish to communicate with me personally here’s the email  Unless you’re a mouth breather, you should be able to figure out the rest.  By the way, how about putting up your email address so that we can become pen pals.
[Trailer Trash] What would you like seeing parked in your driveway, a sleek racy sports car or a dilapidated dump truck with its 8 rear tires flat and a wide load sign on the back?
[“Global warming”] Sorry for disagreeing with you, but it was exactly the mainstream media that reported that Al Gore said that it was the Neanderthals and other Stone Age people that first started the air pollution. I read it on So there! But like I said, this global warming hysteria is all about the money. They won’t cut off the hand that feeds them. As long as big polluters keep on throwing money at the regulators the problems will be thrown at the feet of the common man. It’s been that way since the people who couldn’t hunt figured out a way to keep the people who could hunt convinced that they were entitled to be feed by these hunters. It hasn’t changed has it?
island tropical sunsetCorrect me if I’m wrong, Bill Becker, but I think it’s Leon Russell’s song “Back To The Island” that’s the traditional last tune played each year at the Underwater Music Festival. The song was always melancholy for me, now it’s even more so. I had tickets to see Leon Russell in Fort Lauderdale in January, but R.I.P. Leon Russell 4/2/42-11/13/16.

Back to the Island — Leon Russell

Elián González is ancient history from bad times long ago — long time forgotten and the AG that ordered the seizure of the child is now dead.
drunk-zone[Drunk Zone] Due to a pending lawsuit the drunks in Key West could soon be allocated designated drunk zones similar to the areas set aside for drinking excessively during FantasyFest. This idea is coming to fruition after numerous meetings with city officials and a local homeless coalition group. Local government and law enforcement officials are in favor of this approach as all the drunkards would be contained in the same controlled area. All intoxicated persons, homeless or not, that are found passed out or acting in a disruptive manner would not be taken to jail, they would just be transported to the designated drunk zone. The high cost of incarceration and medical care for these sloshed individuals could be completely eliminated. Temporary tent housing would be provided so that the individuals would still be able to receive food stamps, unemployment and social security disability benefits. Sanitation facilities would be provided on limited bases whereas the alkies just urinate anywhere they want outside of the control zone. Several areas are under review for consideration at this time,  including the north end of the runway next to at Key West International Airport adjacent to the Seaside Resort and Christmas Tree Island. The use of the island would be similar to when the British sent drunkards and other undesirables to Australia. The committee will be applying to the Tourist Develop Council for funding of the project so there will be no costs to tax payers. This approach of relocating the trashed drunks from public view has been tried in London with some success and has proved to be a cost effective way of dealing with inebriated citizens, locals and tourists alike. Please don’t hesitate to contact your local officials to show your support for this innovative approach towards dealing with this never ending problem of public intoxication.
thanksgiving dance50hA special greeting of Thanksgiving time to express to you our sincere appreciation for your confidence and loyalty.  We at the Johnsons Insurance Agency are deeply thankful and extend to you our best wishes for a happy and healthy Thanksgiving Day with your loved ones.

In observance of the holiday, Johnson’s Insurance offices will close at 1:00 pm on Wednesday for an extended weekend. We will resume normal business hours on Monday. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Stock Market is over 19,000 for the first time in history reflecting confidence that Trump will improve the economy.
[Suicide] I heard Bill Becker say Madruga was a “victim” of suicide. The “victims” of suicide are the loved ones left behind by the people that commit it.
keys4My question is regarding the post on Friday November 12th: [Found Car Key] I found a Dodge vehicle key on a fob in my driveway on Ramrod Key over the weekend. Is it yours? Reply on the CocoTele with a description and an explanation of why you were on my property.

My post on November 15th: [Lost Car Keys] Could it be possible that these are my keys? Lost while out garage saling. My home number is 305-440-3236 or Cell 941-592-5373. Would you be so kind as to let the person who found the keys know that I lost mine and I am hoping they are one and the same? Thank you so much. Please text me and let me know that you’ve contacted them for me. I have no way to contact anyone. Thanks again. The photo is of my key

[“Texting at meetings”] You are correct.  The proposed ban in the Florida House on text messaging applies only to communication with lobbyists. I agree that is not likely to be much of a problem for the School Board.

That being said, there are a lot of other reasons why members of a legislative body such as the Board should not engage in text messaging while in session.  I thought that Superintendent Porter put it well in his interview on Morning Magazine with Bill Becker last week.  He said that he never text messages during a Board workshop or meeting because to do so would distract him from the business at hand.  I agree entirely and I think that Superintendent Porter is setting a very good example that would serve Board members well.

In addition, text messaging during a meeting is rude and unprofessional.  If you need to respond to messages about problems with the TV or internet streaming of the meeting, can that not be handled by staff?  Perhaps the District could post a phone number on the website for individuals to call when they have technical problems watching the Board meetings.

In the end, I fully realize that I cannot make the Board do anything; I can only advise and recommend. A word to the wise is usually sufficient.

native american indian day


[Immigration] Let’s be honest here. Every generation has had its own ugly reaction to immigrants, whether they are the Irish, Italian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Cubans or Muslims. And those fears have been broadly unfounded. In fact, there was only one time in American history when the fear of immigrants wiping everyone out did actually come true; and we’ll all be sitting around a table celebrating it Thursday.

Free December issue of Computer Power User magazine. Link
Habitat for Humanity‘s ReStore, Big Pine Key MM 30, is having a 30% off everything Black Friday Sale on Friday, November 25


[Canals] An old saying goes: If you miss home buy a candle that reminds you of it. Does anyone know where I can buy a candle that smells like rotten sea grass?

[Election] When is the housing bubble going to go back up to million dollar prices again? Jan 20, 2017?
dolphin-marina-shell00To the person who has been whining about the late night boat noise at Dolphin Marina. The picture you sent asking if that was the boat is of a boat that isn’t even at Dolphin Marina. I’ve come in and out of that marina weekly for 28 years, but I know that the gas station sign is on the Dolphin Marina side. That picture is on private property.
[Climate Change] You greedy bastards will never own up to the fact that humanity is poisoning our atmosphere with manmade chemicals because you will never void the profits from such activities. “The earth itself is causing pollution”, so what, that cannot be helped, but we can cut out all the bad crap we manufacturer. Why not? Go pure solar, pure wind and back to power dams[?]. We will annihilate ourselves with nuclear nonsense with one more melt down. Wake up!
After reading the Coconut Telegraph I realize almost all locals must be lefties on the dole wanting everything for nothing. We left Northern Michigan to get away from your type of freeloader, but seem to have stepped in it all over again. Time to move on!


[Keurig Cups for Weed] Has mankind become this lazy? Video

What’s with all the racial comments on the CT lately? I’ve heard the proposed affordable housing on Summerland Key will be a haven for the black conchs vs the white conchs who have a rift and now, there’s Russians at Billy’s? There’s one Russian I know of–the owners wife. She used to work at one of the banks down here. A sweetheart.

The tattooed crew is from the mainland. One guy is American of Puerto Rican descent and the other guy is from Michigan and both would like to be back on the mainland, I’m sure. Both have done the job required when I’ve been in there.

What happened to One Human Family? It seems that as the rich move down here, they bring their hatred for anything other than white clouds, white belts, white shoes and white sheets with them! Go home you carpetbaggers, take your dreams of warm weather with you. This was never a place for sport fishing boats and yachts. It was fisherman and square groupers the first time you were here and it should have been left that way



Check out this awesome recipe I found for a White Seafood Lasagna.  It is well worth making. Happy Holidaze Florida Keys! Link

[“I’m as good in bed as I ever was”] Me too, and after several sessions, I wake up smiling. Of course my wife looks at me with one eye!

[Beach Luau] fun, casual evening celebrating the Good Health Clinic and the amazing community we live in! Luau feast, open bar, entertainment and the Big Kahuna Award ceremony! Kahuna contestants Adriana Cuomo, Bob Foley, DVM, Esq., John Gallant, and Retz Reeves have been raising awareness and funds for the last several months. They are all winners, but only one will be the Big Kahuna! Link

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