2013 December Uncategorized

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

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[Dumbest Tool Award] The most foolish tool I’ve ever encountered is the adjustable head hammer. I’ve been a carpenter for most of my life and have never needed one–not once.


[Recall] Grinder pump gripping does no good at all, if you want to get these politicians attention, start a recall petition for all the ones that voted for these pumps, collect enough signatures and they are required to hold a new election. Then you can get rid of the bubbas  and their pumps.

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[Cookie Elf] So that’s how they make those things! I used to like them.

[Cudjoe Regional Wastewater Collection System & Treatment] Hello to Mr. Rick Folbaum and the CBS Channel 4 Miami staff, If you have (or are yourself) a “Shame on You” Al Sunshine type reporter, and you think the following is as worthy of news coverage as we do, a group of residents in the Lower Florida Keys would appreciate your “telling our story” as soon as possible…or passing it on to someone who will. The central issue is the wastewater treatment plan being foisted on over 25% of residents in the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater Project (continued below in Long Winded Tomes)


brain walks out

I always thought that you had to get a double lobotomy in order to work for the federal government was an urban legend, but after my visit to the post office this morning (not in the Keys) I know it must be true. There are three post office boxes outside where you can drop off letters from your vehicle, but all 3 were over flowing, so rather than emptying the boxes they just threw 2 containers on the ground and mail was all over the place being driven over. These morons do business 3 weeks a year, losing money hand over fist, but still do nothing in order to save their jobs.

[12 Days of Christmas]
On the first day of Christmas, Mother Nature sent to me
A Peacock in a Pine Tree
On the second day of Christmas, Mother Nature sent to me
2 Gators at the Blue Hole
and a Peacock in a Pine Tree
On the third day of Christmas, Mother Nature sent to me
3 all elusive Marsh Rabbits
2 Gators at the Blue Hole
and a Peacock in a Pine Tree
On the fourth day of Christmas, Mother Nature sent to me
4 Swallowtail Butterflies
3 elusive Marsh Rabbits
2 Gators at the Blue Hole
and a Peacock in a Pine Tree
On the fifth day of Christmas, Mother Nature sent to me
rice-rats55 Silver Rice Rats
4 Swallowtail Butterflies
3 elusive Marsh Rabbits
2 Gators at the Blue Hole
and a Peacock in a Pine Tree

Someone called FTR a hate monger. I wonder what that poster thinks of other people who tell it like it is, not like the bubble dwellers want to hear. Come out, come out wherever you are!

an scrooge bah humbug


One Inhuman Family is more like it. The planet is getting too many losers and weepers and needs cleaning out of the riff raff and blood suckers! Start with the useless eaters. Bah, humbug!

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Taxidermy helps the family enjoy Grandpa for many Christmases to come.

[Citizen Of The Day Says] He loves the temperate climate and more relaxed, easygoing environment. ‘As much I love the idea of being Citizen of the Day, something tells me the folks at the witness protection program will fail to see the humor,’ he said with a grin.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

Hi Commissioner Nugent, I was going to make an appointment to talk with you, but all I have to say is that mandating grinder pumps in homeowner’s front lawns is not right. If you insist on grinder pumps place them in the right of way as you do with lift stations. I believe the BOCC would chose a different approach if just one Commissioner had one on his front lawn. Why burden homeowners with the expense and hassle? The money is there from the 1 cent tax and the 50 million from the State as I understand it. 

I’m thinking of the homeowner and the future of the system that no one likes, I wish you were too.

PS I don’t have a dog in this fight, I’m getting an aerobic system. I’m looking to the future of this County after seeing so many mistakes made over my last 40 years here.

dolphin jump happy

Did you know that dolphins are so smart, that within a few weeks of captivity they can train humans to stand on the very edge of a pool and throw fish to them.

[Sob Video] At Food City, we honor those people that serve and protect our country, and we know that without the men and women who watch out for us, we would not have any of the luxuries we do. We are the land of the free because of the brave and we salute you! If this does not bring tears, something is very wrong. Video
isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13

[Teen pot use could hurt brain and memory] Adults who smoked pot regularly as teens were shown to have neuropsychological decline and more cognitive problems than non-users. If you throw stuff into the brain that’s not supposed to be there, there are long-term implications for their development. Link



Albert Einstein looking fabulous. 

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santa boat[Give Boating Skills For Christmas] Florida law requires that persons born on or after January 1, 1988, complete a NASBLA approved boater education course prior to operating a vessel powered by a motor of 10 horsepower or more.  It is not too late to make sure your family members are in compliance with this law.  Coast Guard Auxiliary Flotilla 13-03, Big Pine Key, is offering its next Boating Skills and Seamanship class beginning January 21, 2014.  This is an approved boating safety program.  Students successfully completing the course are eligible to receive the Florida Boating Safety Education ID card.

This is a three week program, scheduled Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7:00 to 9:30 PM.  It will be held at the Ship’s Store in Venture Out, 701 Spanish Main Drive, Cudjoe Key.   Spanish Main Drive is at the 23 mile marker on the ocean side.

Topics will include nautical highway signs, rules of the road, navigation, course charting, boat handling, equipment, radio procedures and other safe boating skills.  The cost of the program is $55 per person, materials included, and $80 per couple with shared materials. For more information see Events



This morning on my way to work I stopped to get gas at a convenience/gas store. A Mary Kay car pulled in the store lot to get whatever, and out of the car piled four National Guardsmen in uniform. I don’t think I could have done that. That had to be embarrassing! Gotta give them huge kudos.

If you are against grinder pumps, email your county commissioners and tell them so. Link
gabba18[Correction] Ed, It was ‘Yo’ Gabba Gabba the kid yelled out in the store, not Gabba Gabba ‘Hey’. It must of been the spirit of the holidays (or maybe holiday spirits) that caused you to change it. Just to make sure we sure all on the same page, I included a link to their web site. Link
(Ed: Sorry for that. Being over seven years old I had to scour the web looking for it, but only could find the Ramones Gabba Gabba Hey. I’d better tune up my Google.)


On this date in 1892 Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker Suite” premiered at St. Petersburg’s Maryinksy Theatre.

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 I write this post today from my old faithful porch. This is my favorite place in the world, especially in the morning. There is just something about the early part of the day sitting by the ocean and sipping an espresso. It’s the beginning of something and everything seems fresher and cleaner somehow. The only sounds are coming from Mother Nature herself. The occasional swish of the palm fronds moving from a breeze and water lapping against the dock is certainly a good way to start the day.



purple leaf rotate[Pot Just For Fun] On January 1, 2014 it will be legal to buy pot for fun. The unsuccessful fifty year prohibition will be lifted. Does anyone know how long it will take me to drive there?

John Denver — Rocky Mountain High

[FTR’s email bounces back] Yesterday and today I sent it from two different addresses and it came back undeliverable. (Ed: Yes, I just got one bounced back myself. I contacted the man himself this morning for a working email address. Stay tuned. An interesting thing is that I’m still getting national political post in abundance. That says a lot to me about the myopic political posters who don’t think their posts on national politics are included.)



[“McCauley Mountain summit at Old Forge New York”] This morning, nearby, it was a cool 21 in Indian Lake, NY! So we think this was the cold front that just came thru the Keys.

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[Running on Empty] To the single mom thinking of running against Neugent: That is a great first running point (‘don’t own anyone’). Before going further please let us know what other points that you support or oppose with regards to running the County. I think that we have all learned our lesson about supporting a candidate on one vague platform.

[Grinder pumps] I have a combination of a grinder pump and vacuum system. I also a valve I can open outside the 3 mile limit that provides a gravity solution.



Happy Holidaze!

[Political Posts] The gentleman expressed his gratitude in the demise of the political posts, as he proclaimed his profound annoyance with a few selected individual of the right wing persuasion, while informing us of his disdain for their hate filled posts, obviously this type of conversation would arouse ire in many folks that are in agreement with the chastised posters. If the poster is so annoyed with one segment of the human condition and what he believes the hate they are merchandising, why then does he insist on insulting that segment of citizens with the very type of rhetoric he seems so disgusted with? It would seem to this poster that if he truly meant that he was weary of the language expressed by the debaters after the demise of the political section he would simply let the matter lay.


[“Dentist now take instant x-rays”] Digital radiography or “film-less” x-rays have been out since around 1997. Link

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The original Ronald McDonald played by Willard Scott (is he dead yet?)

[Restaurant Review] I recently tried that new restaurant in Grassy Key oceanside- The Outpost. Very nice, great pizzas, big wine selection, quick service and outdoor seating.

santa sleigh wreath

[Santa Fire Truck Correction] We needed to make a change on the Santa ride with the Big Pine Key Fire Dept. on Friday night. Will you please re post the new time table for us. We did this to accommodate a Christmas party at the Fish camp.

We highly encourage kids and their parents to ride along with us. Kids need to have a guardian with them. Please be at the Big Pine Fire Station by 5:45 (not 6pm) on Friday or Saturday night to ride. Events


Prophet Harold Camping who predicted the end of the world has died. That’s kind of sad, but its not the end of the world.


[MP3 to long] I learned a new trick today.  I cut a few seconds off an MP3 that was too long.  Super easy. You go to You don’t even download anything.

[George Zimmerman to remain indoors] Smart move, about time, don’t end up like O.J. Sell your paintings, transfer citizenship to another country and exit the spotlight. I would even suggest getting rid of all your guns and choosing a non-lethal self-defense weapon of some sort until then. Choose your friends carefully, hire a 24/7 body guard and witness with impeccable character. Consider all are out to get you, which they are. Go live someplace they never heard of George Zimmerman, move on and good luck. 
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[Excel] Does anyone know how to get Excel to start filling in cells? I used to start to type a customer’s name and the smart type thing would automatically fill it in.

[“What are you grateful for”] My husband was reading the Coconut and asked if I had written in again.  I said, I don’t think so, what does it say?  He read it to me and I said, nope.  Merry Christmas all ! May your year be blessed.


[“Instant x-rays”] If you are just now getting instant x-rays, I suggest you find a dentist that is a little more with the times.  Does he do mercury fillings too?

BUGS18[Captain Doom and Gloom] Click on the first date in Prehistoric China to see how old the Chinese culture is and why they will take world control. They have had more than 7500 years to learn how to control people! How old is America and Europe? Link


Bet grinder pumps are made in China, right?

We just watched the Death By China  on DVD and woke up real quick. This documentary is right one the mark and should be seen by all Americans, but it might be too late to save our asses already!

Want free bug- proof mulch? Get a paper shredder that makes tiny chips for all your print-outs and other receipts then use the waste for your garden. Paper is paper and organic, except if made in China!

from the right

obamanixonThe Obama legacy is in terribly deep trouble. Following on the heels of other political groups, President Obama’s liberal base is abandoning him, giving him an even lower level of support from his base than George W. Bush had from conservatives five years into his presidency, according to a new Pew Research Center poll. Now only 54 percent of liberal Democrats strongly approve of Obama in their new poll. For Bush at this stage of his presidency, 65 percent of conservatives strongly supported the Republican.

But it gets even worse. According to a new Washington Post/ABC poll released Tuesday Obama’s approval rating in the poll stands at 43%. By comparison, President George W. Bush had a 47% approval rating at the end of the fifth year of his presidency. And all other Post-World War II presidents had approval ratings above 50% — with the exception of Nixon, who, amid the Watergate scandal, had a dreadful 29% approval rating.  Real Clear Politics reported earlier this month, that Obama’s average approval rating slipped below 40% for the first time in his presidency.

It remains to be seen if Obama’s many flubs will turn 2014 voters away from the Democrat party.

Picture: Obama/Nixon

Rebuttals or comments: (Email address soon come)

Long Winded Tome

(continued from above …) The central issue is the wastewater treatment plan being foisted on over 25% of residents in the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater Project, which extends from Cudjoe Key eastward through Big Pine Key, and is part of the entire Florida Keys conversion to a comprehensive sewage disposal plan to eliminate all existing septic tanks. The idea of wastewater removal and treatment is obviously sound and fundamentally essential to the protection of this fragile Florida Keys environment and it has been a long time in coming. However, a steadily increasing number of residents believe the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority (FKAA) and the Board of Monroe Board of County Commissioners (BOCC) have chosen the most inferior of possible systems to solve the problem.

The Monroe County Board of Commissioners and the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority have been working in concert for several years now in planning this system and led Keys residents to believe they would be getting a gravity-only wastewater system for their $200 million tax investment. Not true! We learned during several meetings with the FKAA dating back to October of this year that many of us (some 25 to 30%) will be getting low pressure system (LPS) raw sewage grinder pumps jammed five feet down our front yard throats because the BOCC would not be able to fund the entire project with a gravity-only system and we would have to accept this plan for “cost saving”. And for this most inferior of three possible sewer systems (the gold standard being gravity, the second being a vacuum system), we will be required to sign over to the FKAA a 100-plus square foot piece of our property for $1.00 as easement to the FKAA for maintenance of this grinder pump, with the stated threat of home condemnation by the local health department for any property owner who refuses to comply; we will be required to pay for all plumbing to the pump; we will be required to pay for all electrical connection (requires 220v access) to the pump, to a control and junction box, and an alarm panel, plus all requisite county plumbing and electrical permits. The cost will range from several thousand dollars to nine thousand or so depending on individual residential requirements, in addition to the standard $4,500.00 sewage fee charged to each resident. In addition, a 6500 watt (minimum output) portable generator will be required for emergency pump-out of the unit in the event of sustained power outages of two days or more.

It is noteworthy that the 75% or more of those residents fortunate enough to have the always reliable maintenance-free gravity system installed will only be required to pay for a lateral plumbing hookup line to the main sewer line in the roadway (also in addition to the standard $4,500 sewage fee). Everyone, regardless of type of system installed, will be required to deactivate/destroy existing septic tanks or convert/clean them for rain water storage; and they will be required to pay to have all work performed via special permits in either case.

This low pressure system is known not only to require considerable repetitive maintenance (particularly in a saltwater/salt-air environment, but what is worse is that it is a pressurized sewage system involving miles of under-roadway small diameter HDPE (high density polyethylene) pipe which is bound to become cracked and structurally compromised through embrittlement over time leading to undetectable leaks and a potentially worse environmental scenario than we currently have with septic tanks. This pressurized system clearly defeats the purpose of conversion to a comprehensive sewer system because local experts tell us that buried HDPE systems will also eventually crack and leak here due to exposure to chlorides, salt, and constant vehicular traffic rolling two to three feet above the pipes. A low pressure system (LPS/grinder pump) will force raw macerated sewage out through breaches, while the same will not happen with either gravity or vacuum systems due to their inherent design (internal pipe pressure lower than ambient pressure outside the pipe in both cases). In other words, the Keys environment (e.g., the groundwater lens on Big Pine Key) will be in greater jeopardy due to implementation of this low pressure system than with any non-pressurized system when leakage does occur..

It is worthy of note here that New Jersey reportedly had the same type of grinder pumps installed which are planned for this part of the Keys. Hurricane Sandy flooded them which led to raw sewage dispersal so severe into homes and businesses that hazardous materiel suits were requested for workers to make repairs. And without power, grinder pumps won’t work in any case. If over 1100 of them are installed here as planned, they simply cannot all be pumped out soon enough with portable generators during lengthy power outages; in a word, flushing a commode would soon be rendered impossible unless each resident owns or has ready access to a 6500 watt generator (a significant expense in itself) to power the grinder pump.

Please review the following letter (just one of many from very concerned home owners) and each website referenced by this gentleman, particularly I would appreciate a reply as soon as possible if you will consider exposing this serious Keys issue. I am not a subject expert on low pressure wastewater systems or grinder pumps but have several excellent sources of information from experienced and knowledgeable people to show how short-sighted and wrong-minded this LPS wastewater treatment plan would be for the Florida Keys if it is not stopped, both from the long term environmental and economic points of view. However, contractors are already moving fast to get the grinder pump lines in the ground; and at the end of the sewer lines on Cudjoe, they plan to inject the processed outflow from a sewage treatment plant to a depth of only 100 feet underground.

For the good of the Florida Keys and all who live, work, and play here, this low pressure system grinder pump installation project must be stopped.