2019 April

Friday, April 19, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.


[Boat Gas] Captain Hooks Reef Adventures (formerly known as Strike Zone Charters) is requesting all boaters to stop by and sign a petition to allow the marina to continue to sell marine gas. All permits were acquired from the County and the gas dock was in operation for several weeks. Now several weeks later, pressure is being applied by a few residents on that canal to shut down the gas business. If you are a boater located anywhere on the west side of Big Pine or the east side of the Torches you should be aware by now this is the only place for us to fuel our boats. If you are interested in seeing this gas dock remain open, please stop by and sign the petition.

[A Bite To Eat] A petty annoyance of mine is when people say they are going for a “bite” to eat. Why are they only taking one bite? I know it’s just an expression, but it’s a sissy one.
If you don’t like how the County Commissioners are chosen, don’t bitch – do something about it. Call the supervisor of elections office and ask how many signatures are required on a petition to have a referendum placed on the next ballot to question a change from county-wide selection to district-only selection. Would it have changed the BOCC District 2 race?  No, Michelle Coldiron won the entire district (and she’s doing a fantastic job). But do I think each district should vote for only their representative:  Yes, I do for a multitude of reasons.

Didn’t Key West pass a Sanctuary City ordinance? If the President has his way, they’ll be busing them down. Only Clay and Alachua counties show up in FL as sanctuary cities when searched. Video

[Friday Joke] An old lady called the police to complain there was a man exposing himself in a house opposite hers. The police arrived to investigate, but after a time reported that they could see nothing. “Well,” she said, “You have to get on top of the wardrobe and use the binoculars.”





[4:20] It is generally believed that a group of high school boys created the term 4:20 as code for smoking marijuana after school. However, this holiday’s origins are still debated, as much of cannabis pop culture history is. Regardless, 4:20 is still a very real thing, and has become an agreed upon term for consuming marijuana. So, it makes sense that the corresponding day, April 20th, should be celebrated as well.

[Developers] I received this video today.  The meeting was yesterday to give away more waterfront to developers. Pretty soon we’ll have to pay for a glimpse of the ocean. Video
[Spam] Remember that if you order something online you will receive an email from them every day for the rest of your life–sometimes even twice a day




[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[Feel Good Snake Story] Happy Easter Deer Ed & Florida Keys! Live and let live: Florida woman armed with machete uses it to save venomous coral snake. “I grabbed my boots and machete and assessed the situation, and then I used the machete to scoop it into the pitcher,” Michelle Redfern said. Video




Sewing tips with yarn. Video

[Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is] I get the impression that people don’t mean what they say.  For instance, those that claim that “we” need to stop using fossil fuel to save the planet don’t drive electric cars or use solar or wind for energy on their homes.  Why is that?  Another example is sanctuary cities.  The people that think they’re a good idea don’t actually want the illegal aliens to come there. It’s confusing.
[Friday Joke] Lately I have been having very painful leg cramps while sleeping, so I went online and read that drinking 8-10 glasses of water will stop the severe cramps. Yesterday I did drink 10 glasses of water thru the day and, OMG, I slept the entire night, cramp free, but I did wet the bed!
[Easter Joke] Being it is Easter:  Joseph of Arimathea goes before Pilate to ask for the body of Jesus. Pilate asks why he would want to put an executed criminal in a tomb he had hewn out for him and his family. Joseph replies “Oy vay, He just gonna use it for the weekend!”
[Friday Joke] A Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class what do you want to be when you grow up? Kevin says, “I want to start out as a Marine pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, an Infinite Visa Card and all the wile banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decided to continue without acknowledge what he said and simply tries to con the lesson.
“And how about you, Sarah?”
“I wanna be Kevin’s whore.”



[Balloons Blow, Don’t Let Them Go]  Struggling osprey entangled in balloon with a string. Watch the impact a stray balloon had on a nesting pair of osprey. Video

[Movies] There must be a whole genre of “One last job” movies.
Tell me again how medical marijuana is not a sham.? Soon to open are two medical marijuana shops on Duval Street.  Isn’t that where everyone goes to get their prescriptions filled?





The origin of the Easter bunny.

It used to be that your typical intellectually-challenged housewife spent all her afternoons watching soap operas. Now all those bored, unimaginative housewives are wasting their days on Facebook.






…and that’s why the chicken crossed the road.

[Socialized Medicine] Mick Jagger recently had heart surgery.  He had it done in New York instead of the UK.  Either he’s stupid and doesn’t realize that socialized medicine is the best or, our health care system isn’t really that bad
[My God’s Better Than Yours] A seven-day spree of vandalism has seen Catholic churches targeted across France, sparking fears of a fresh wave of anti-Christian sentiment in the country, including one church being defiled with human excrement. God will forgive, not me.
[Fire at Notre Dame Cathedral] As set by a Keys’ developer.





It seems to me racism is a good thing. It keeps race DNA pure, brings out the likes and dislikes of people, stops the inbreeding that will change the world into a mass of diarrhea colored people.