Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Followers
|[R.I.P. Easy-Boy] Easy-Boy is dead. Daniel Lake, 70, passed away on April 4, at Lower Keys Medical Center. Funeral services took place in St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands. Easy-Boy was a former boxer and tough as nails. You couldn’t hurt him. He was built like a rock. He worked with us as a laborer on construction in Key West. Always on time, always busy and very good natured. Everyone liked Easy Boy. He didn’t drink or do drugs like the rest of us. Easy was a real good guy and smiled a lot.|
|[Fake Mosquitoes] What is the chance the fake mosquitoes will inject the COVID-19 virus with their noses? Seems like this is a very dumb idea to release these bugs.|
|This image of Pumpkin Key features digital renderings of a golf course and other amenities that could be added to the island. They don’t exist now. A 26-acre private island that includes a membership to the Ocean Reef Club is for sale at what is said to be a record asking price for the Florida Keys of $95 million. Link|
|[Tax Prep Help] United Way of Collier and the Keys (UWCK) is offering the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) FREE tax preparation program for Collier and Monroe County residents with limited incomes. Assisting residents remotely, UWCK will accept new VITA clients through May 10. Volunteers with the VITA program are IRS-certified and able to complete simple federal tax returns, including identifying available credits, for residents with a household income less than $57,000 in 2020. There are 3 free tax preparation options for residents to choose from. Link|
|[Friday Joke] A little boy comes downstairs for breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
“Not yet,” said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. So he goes to feed the chickens, but he’s a little resentful, so he kicks a chicken. He feeds the cows, and he kicks a cow. He feeds the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon, and why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.
“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, So you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”
Just then, the boy’s father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half-way across the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a wicked smile and says, “You gonna tell him, or should I?”
[Time Travel] I found that one can track their past history through old t-shirts. My time in the Keys was memorable (from what I can remember), I think. Just answered Jimmy’s question. The flashbacks have come. 1973-1981.
|[Fishing] The following species of fish will reopen to recreational harvest May 1 in Florida state and federal waters of the Atlantic Ocean — hogfish; blueline tilefish; gag, black, red, yellowmouth and yellowfin grouper; scamp; red hind; rock hind; coney; and graysby.
Hogfish will remain open through Oct. 31, on the East Coast of Florida as well as south and east of Cape Sable on the Gulf Coast. Blueline tilefish will remain open through Aug. 31 and the other grouper species will remain open through Dec. 31 on the East Coast of Florida and all state waters off Monroe County. MyFWC.com/Marine; select “Recreational Regulations.”
|[Friday Joke] Did you hear that the CEO of IKEA was elected the Prime Minister of Sweden? Right now he’s assembling his cabinet.|
[Jurassic Park] Florida residents in uproar as scientists prepare to release 750 million genetically modified mosquitoes. Link
|[Silver] The image is quite accurate. I made minimum wage of $1.25/hr doing a summer job in 1965. Today, the silver content of five pre-1964 US quarters is $24. The exact value varies every day, but the silver price is way below actual value because of bankers’ stock manipulation of stocks purporting to represent physical silver. But just go try to exchange your stock for the equivalent weight in silver. It is not there. Your paper dollar will soon be worthless. Buy high content silver coins if you can. At least they always have real value. Plus, taping one over a MRSA sore will heal it fast. What’s that worth to you?|
|[Phony Food] The restaurants seem to be serving great tasting chow since the plague has tapered off a bit, but is it, or is it because the chow is loaded with flavor enhancers to make the customer believe things are great again? How to tell? Have weird dreams, wild sleepless nights, lots of gas and the s**ts? Watch where you spend your money on the over-priced flavor enhanced garbage.|
|[Ransomware Attacks By Cybercriminal Mafias] All the while, ransomware gangsters have become more brazen and cockier as they put more and more lives and livelihoods at risk. This week, one syndicate threatened to make available to local criminal gangs’ data they say they stole from the Washington, D.C., metro police on informants. Another recently offered to share data purloined from corporate victims with Wall Street inside traders. Cybercriminals have even reached out directly to people whose personal info was harvested from third parties to pressure victims to pay up. The U.S. government now deems ransomware a national security threat. Link|
|[Developers] County Commission votes in 300 more shiite houses. You can always tell who the politicos are in Monroe County by the highly decorated casts on their knees|
|[Sex Trade] … these were girls who were already experienced in sexual abuse. In fact, up to sixty percent of all prostitutes experienced child sexual abuse in their homes or communities before entering the sex trade, and up to ninety percent had some kind of trauma arising from child abuse and neglect. They were victims who were re-victimized once they tried to run away from their abusers.|
We were all once kids.
|[Saving N.C.] General Stoneman is under my command, and my order will suspend any devastation or destruction contemplated by him. I will add that I really desire to save the people of North Carolina the damage they would sustain by the march of this army through the central or western parts of the State.
I am, with respect, your obedient servant,
[Meth] In 1940 German soldiers were taking 2-5 Pervitin tablets a day to increase their endurance. Pervitin is methamphetamine. Germany produced 35 million of these tablets in 1940 for its military. Imagine if our president was shooting up heroine and popping meth tablets every day? He likely go crazy too!
|[Friday Joke] A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist tells him that the condoms come in packs of three, nine, or 12, and asks which ones the young man wants. “Well,” he says, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s the night. We’re having dinner with her parents and then we’re going out. I’m excited about tonight, so you’d better give me the 12 pack!” The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he may give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying on and on for many minutes. The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.” He leans over to her and says, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.”
Beware of peeping toms!