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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
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 [Shitty Hospital] I’ve been calling Lower Keys Medical Center’ Scheduling Department at 305-292-9353 for one week to schedule a PET scan. The recorded message (no matter when I call) says they will call back in 24 hours. No one ever calls. I’ve even had my wife call for a few days.I’m surprised at the lack of care for the sick patient that department exhibits. I’m sick and worried to death and need help. They are the only hospital that does PET scans down here and they only come down once a month. I’m afraid to miss them because of the hospital’s lack of caring in scheduling my appointment. After note: I was so pissed that I wrote the above complaint and posted it on yelp.com Hospital reviews. Within two hours of posting the review the hospital called with the appointment info. Thank goodness for Yelp and TripAdvisor. ~b33043@outlook.com |
| (Editor: In cast I’m late publishing Friday’s CT. Boo hoo again. My computer just died. The battery overheated and expanded, deforming the case and bending it. I’ve been having trouble for a while with it, so I ordered another laptop. I just received it, but only got as far as taking it out of the box when my old laptop passed away — just now. I was able to revive it, I hope enough to get the Coconut Telegraph out on time today. The case is heating up. I hope it lasts for another hour while I put together the CT. It’s always something.) |
 [Leni Riefenstahl (on right)] Dressed in a white smock, she sat at her editing table for up to six- teen hours a day, often until three or four in the morning, seldom eating, surrounded by thousands of filmstrips dangling from hooks in front of backlit glass walls. The immediate task at hand was to carefully review, cut, and splice selections from the four hundred thousand feet of raw film she had shot at the 1934 Nazi Party rally in Nuremberg. The film that would eventually emerge from her labors, Triumph of the Will (Triumph des Willens), would come to define the iconography of Nazi Germany. To this day it stands as a monument to the ability of propaganda to foster absolute power and to justify un- fettered hatred |
| The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor. ~Voltaire |
 [Bride?] My cousin calls his wife of 30 years his “bride” That’s rediculous. A bride is a woman on her wedding day or just before and after the event. Not after 30 years of marriage. That’s a wife. It’s okay to caller her his bride in private as a lovey-dovey pet name, but calling her his bride to otheres is sure strange. |
| [Brittany Griner] Many folks seem actually disappointed that America went out of its way to free a Black, lesbian, tattooed female athlete who has refused to come out of the locker room for the national anthem. I know I am. Our government traded this for the “merchant of death” arms dealer |
 [Christmas Lights] To my neighbors and friends, I don’t mean to be a Grinch, however, to those of you who are sticking Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, please avoid using anything with red or blue flashing lights together. Every time I come around the corner I think it’s the police!I have to brake hard, toss my booze and coke out the window, fasten my seatbelt, toss my phone on the floor, turn my radio down and push the gun under the seat–all while trying to drive! It’s just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. Remember, it ain’t easy living in the Keys. |
| [Low Life] Living in KW and reading the sheriff office arrests, it astonishes me that so many people are arrested for DWI, fighting, out of county warrants, etc. I see the people on Duval Street losing their damn minds with booze and drugs. It’s sad. |
 [Topless Beaches] Women can now go topless on Nantucket beaches. You guys in the Keys need to get with the program. Link |
| [Bad Captain Caught] Jupiter shark diving crew convicted for stealing fishing gear. With the ever-changing rules and regulations, you might free fish, but you cannot steal a fisherman’s livelihood. Link |
 [Brittany Griner] A vape pen contains 0.5g of THC Oil. It’s no wonder she didn’t think much about bringing it to Russia. She is neither a spy or a smuggler and is no danger to anyone except an opposing basketball team. Some say the US should have traded the arms dealer for an American held in captivity. He’s dangerous, she’s not. |
| [Topless beaches legal on Nantucket Island] It is now legal for women – and men – to be topless at beaches on the popular vacation island of Nantucket, off the coast of Massachusetts. Earlier this year, a local-led “Gender Equality on Beaches” campaign proposed a bylaw amendment that would make it legal for anyone of any gender to go nude from the waist up while on a beach on the island. Although Nantucket voters had already voted yes on the proposed bylaw in May, the decision became official when Massachusetts Attorney General Maura Healey approved it on December 6. So when is Key West getting hip? |
 [Topless beaches legal on Nantucket Island] Before the Feds took over Bahia Honda, the flats to the east of the main beach was called nude beach by the locals. Mostly gay people sunbathed there in the buff. And perverts and voyeurs would hide in the bushed to watch them. That was the same scene in L. A. in the 70’s at Zuma Beach. Off to the left , around the rocks was a nude beach and up on the cliff overlooking the beach were all the perverts and voyeurs ogling the naked folks below |
| [Brittany Griner] Exchange of a pothead basketball player for an international arms dealer/murderer? Boy, do we have our priorities screwed up! |
 [Nightgowns] Y’all can go broke buying sexy things at Victoria’s Secrets, but these are the gowns that your Grandmother wore and had your grandfather making 10-12 babies and paying all the bills! how do you like the yellow bonnet, not exactly sexy. |
| [Thought For The Day] Everyone likes bananas. |
 [Omaha steaks] Around Christmas Omaha steaks advertises like crazy for their meat. It’s for people who don’t shop for gifts. For a hundred and twenty dollars they’ll send someone some bread, butter, tarts, hamburgers, chicken and a pound and a quarter of steak. Remember that when you freeze beef it loses flavor along with its juices. The ads lead you to believe you are getting a bunch of steak but you’re not and who knows how long it’s been in the freezer. I was suprised how few steaks you got. It was mostly potatoes, hamburgers, chicken and other stuff, but very little steak. |
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| [Friday Joke] I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home. While pointing his knife at me he asked, “Your money or your life!” I told him I am married so I have no money and no life. We hugged and cried together. It was a beautiful moment. |
 [Flooding Culverts] Tuesday’s article about the fresh water lens was excellent. It reminded me about the refuge scientists and engineers up north making up problems to justify their jobs and to spend millions of our dollars that could better be spent elsewhere in the refuge. They seem to have nothing better to do but solve problems that don’t exist. Putting culverts on Watson Rd and Key Deer Blvd won’t solve their imaginary problem because there is no problem. Those areas don’t flood any more then anywhere else. And they drain just as fast as any other area. After past floodings, I’ve observed those locations and surrounding areas and there never has been any more flooding than the rest of the island during a hurricane. There is no blockade. They say in a hurricane, water will flood the area because the roads, being above the ground, will stop the flow of the flood water back to the ocean. I’ve witnessed both those areas during, and after, all the hurricanes of the last thirty years and can say the scientists are fixing a non-existent problem. Those areas drained as well as all other areas. The roads didn’t hinder any water flow. Water drained off or percolated into the porous limestone rock. That last hurricane was a Cat 4-5. If flood water backed up because of the height of the roads, I didn’t see it. No one else did either. It just drained or percolated down as it always has. Spend those millions of dollars where it could be better used, not on making two new culvert overpasses. We non’t nee two more big humps in those roads. |
 [History And Future Of Psychedelic Medicine] Psychedelics are having a moment. This past spring, Netflix’s How to Change Your Mind documentary series introduced the binge-watching masses to the concept of using trippy substances to reboot troubled brains. Link |
| [Friday Joke] A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk and stopped inches from a building. For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look, mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!” The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much. “Sorry, said the driver, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral hearse for the last 25 years.” |
What most teenage boys did before video games sucked their brains dry. |
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 The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/9/22 at 9:25 amGet the latest Coconut Telegraph by refreshing your cellphone’s browser. Or if on a laptop just refresh your browser. |