2023 January

Friday, January 13, 2023

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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
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[Keys Locals Go To The Big City] No matter how bad drivers are in the Keys, we are not even close to the scary mainland drivers like in Miami, Lauderdale, and West Palm Beach. We go visit our kids up there and I’m actually scared of getting killed while driving. They don’t drive they aim!
[Get Rid Of Fruit Flies With Homemade Traps] During the summer, we get a huge influx of bugs and pests trying to make their way inside. Unfortunately, that means that even the smallest crack is a point of entry for the annoying little thing known as the fruit fly. And if you see one, then there are a hundred you’re not seeing. That tells me that I need to start making some traps again. It’s very easy and you can make them with household materials.

Grab a bottle of water. Preferably from a brand with a weaker plastic, like Kirkland or Crystal Geyser. Then, I’ll cut off the top and invert it so that it forms a funnel going into the bottle. Next, I’ll grab some juice, overripe fruits, and some water. You want to make a slurry of warm water, juice, and fruits that you can leave at the bottom of the water bottle. Then you add a drop of dish detergent, put the funnel on, and tape the seams together, with top inverted.
What does this do? Well, the juice, water, and fruit mixture lets out a sweet smell that attracts the fruit flies. They’ll enter through the inverted funnel and try to land on the slurry. Because of the dish detergent, the surface tension of the liquid will break as soon as the fly tries to land and drown. The inverted funnel is what makes it easier for them to enter, but difficult to exit (despite how big the opening is in relation to the size of the bug). I recommend trying out different juice and fruit mixtures to figure out what your local bugs like the best.

Keys Historian Jerry Wilkinson is still dead, but his history web site is back up and running again. Monroe County should subsidize because it is such an asset to the people of Monroe County, tourists, students, etc. T
his site should be maintained in perpetuity.


[Sugarloaf Key Cat] Tiger sat for this studio portrait for the annual report.

[Friday Joke] Judge, “Will you describe the sexual assault as you reported it.”
Very Old lady, “I don’t want to report it, I just want to talk about it a little.Judge, “Okay, did he have his organ exposed?”
Very Old lady, “Well, judge, it looked more like a flute.”
[Friday Joke] Two old farmers are walking down a road when they hear a motorcycle behind them but are shocked when the driver passes them and the biker is headless. The two men look at each other and shrug. They continue down the road and a bicyclist comes up behind them and as he passes, he too, is headless.

The two old men continue to walk down the road, when the one walking along the inside turns to the other one, “You know, Allen, I think maybe you should carry that scythe on your other shoulder.”

[Dopey Dogs] Cannabis poisoning is on the rise in pets. As more areas legalize recreational weed, veterinarians have noticed an increase in cannabis poisoning cases, and a new study backs up the trend. Link

[Missing Weather] A while ago, maybe a month, the CT posted a weather site and I really like it. It began with a “V”. Stupidly, cleaning out trash, I deleted the site, dammit. I can’t find it anywhere. Does anyone still have it pleeeease?
Thanks, John
[Tact] How to politely tell someone they are stupid: “Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster.”
[Sign Wanted] Hello, I am looking for a sign like this one. Does anyone know where I could possibly find it? Thank you, have a great day!
[“Gas tank leak”] A quick boat gas tank leak check. A few breaths into vent then put a finger to block & hold air in the tank for a minute or two. If it leaks put a soapy water mix on the fittings and tank and looking for bubbles.
[Wash Eyes With Water] Eyewash setups aren’t just for high-hazard areas such as chemistry labs. Homes that contain everyday household cleaning materials as well small children should have a quick method to rinse hazardous material from eyes. Link
I haven’t heard the name Elon Musk for two days. God is good.
Virtuoso guitar legend Jeff Beck dead at 78. Truth was his best album with new-comer Rod Stewart on it, singing his heart out. Link
The Yardbirds- “Over Under Sideways Down” 1966
[Bradley Fighting Vehicles] These are the tank-destroying vehicles the US is sending to Ukraine. The Bradley infantry fighting vehicles can deploy a weapon called a TOW missile. Link
[People For The Ethical Treatment of Eggs] Author sparks Twitter storm claiming Humpty Dumpy was not an egg, but do you know what he really was? Link
[“Keys history”] Jerry Wilkinson. I think he died.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 1/13/23 at 9:38 am.