2021 January

Friday, January 15, 2021

[Peaceful Solution] It is with great sadness I read your feelings about those who do not share your political views. I am not a traitor and I love my country as you do. I try to listen to all views and consider them with thought. The new administration wants unity and healing. The continuation of any hate speech on either side will not move anyone to unite for the country we all love. I plan to pray for healing and those who have lost so much in this pandemic need our help regardless of political beliefs. If prayer is not your thing then spend inauguration day in helping someone. Even picking up trash or kindness to an elderly neighbor. It will make you feel better, even more than those you help. I really hope you don’t hate me for my beliefs.


Why doesn’t iHop restaurants use a rabbit or frog as their logo?



[Thin Lizzy] This anole lizard got pressed by a closed door all in one piece. It was paper thin.

[Stitches] Did you ever try to sew someone up? Skin is impossibly tough even using a curved upholstery needle.
The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club is holding a Show and Shine event on Sunday, January 17, from noon to 3PM at the Sugarloaf Lodge, MM 17. This free event features classic, custom, sports and street rod automobiles of all years and makes.  This event features prizes and a plaque for the Peoples’ Choice Award. Join the club for $25, and receive a club T-shirt and stickers.  Please respect social distancing & wear a mask when in close conversation.  Bring a cooler, bring a chair and enjoy the shade in the grass. Any questions, call Dick Moody 305-942-1758. Link
[Bird Migration] Please turn off your outdoor lights at night. I mean it! Link



[Friday Joke] They want to put a bust of Dolly Parton in a park in Tennessee, but can’t find two blocks of marble big enough!

[Single Use Plastics] Florida’s Sen. Linda Stewart and Rep. Mike Grieco are angling to repeal a state preemption of local rules governing single-use plastic products. That state-level preemption currently blocks local governments from banning single-use plastics. The law states that “no local government, local governmental agency, or state government agency may enact any rule, regulation, or ordinance regarding use, disposition, sale, prohibition, restriction, or tax of such auxiliary containers, wrappings, or disposable plastic bags.” “Removing the state’s preemption on banning single-use plastic and Polystyrene is not only the right thing to do, it’s the smart thing to do,” Grieco said. The bills from Stewart (SB 594) and Grieco (HB 6027) simply delete the language restricting local governments from the state code. “By removing this language we give home rule back to cities and counties allowing them to decide what best fits their needs,” Stewart said. “Coastal or lakefront communities may wish to ban these containers to reduce pollution that negatively effects other sectors of their economies such as tourism.”


My wife has started calling me Mr. Rice Krispies because every time I move my body goes snap-crackle-pop.

[Vaccine] Have faith in the Pfizer vaccine. Don’t forget they make Viagra. If they can raise the dead they can save the living.
[Aging] This video is a mix of age progression for me. Starts out as me as a 5-year old, photos by my mother who enjoyed her camera and is hit and miss images. This all takes place at beloved but ancient 6-bedroom cottage (now gone forever) on Iowa’s Great Lakes. Much, much more time of my summer youth was spent at another resort lake in Ohio, Chippewa Lake Park (also gone) where I learned well to relate to so many different kinds of people. I believe that life-education in Ohio serves me well still today. Good times indeed. Video
I too appreciate Friday’s issue devoted to events on January 6. It was the right thing to do.
[Key West to Nashville] The KW airport will add a new route and service starting June 2. The Las Vegas-based Allegiant Air will start operating direct service to and from Nashville, Tennessee. The flights, which could accommodate more than 100 passengers, will be on Wednesdays and Saturdays.
[Monroe County Resource Guide] Compiled by United Way of Collier and the Keys.  Information about Covid‑19 safety and resources  for assistance has been added to the resource guide, which is available at  Also included are the general community programs and assistance available at any time.


Constellations reimagined and brought up to date.

[Friday Joke] The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

[Vaccine] I think a month without any bad effects from the vaccines is enough time to wait before getting the shot. How long does it take to work?
[Pot Stock] I have been watching what other people are doing on the cannabis watch list and they’re all over the place. I wonder how many readers took the stock tip from Tuesday and made money. Thank you, CoCo Telly! Did you buy any APHA?
[Police Bolos]  Every cop should have one of these. It looks to be based on the Argentine gaucho bolo. Just think of what if the cops in Minneapolis had one when they took down the thug on Memorial Day this year. No rioters, no looters, no burning.
On the politics page posters tell those with whom they disagree to get their facts straight while they spew bizarre conspiracy theories and phony ‘facts’.
Dear Editor,
Tuesday’s CT is dated December 12, 2021 and it should be January 12, 2021. Also, your editorial statement was dated December 6 in two places that should be dated January 6. Keep up the otherwise fine work. We love the Coconut Telegraph. Come see us if you ever need a place to get away from it all. We are on Lake Amistad on the Texas/Mexico border.
Dan and Cindy Webb
Del Rio, Texas (Editor: Thanks to the Webbs for taking the time to let me know the error of my fingers, that I corrected, and for the wonderful invite to Del Rio Texas.)

[Let Your Fingers Do The Walking] Before Amazon I spent way too much time running around trying to find parts or supplies. And then when I did find what I was looking for it was the wrong size, color, or made from the wrong material.
[“Bill Berry, should be president”]  That’s Bill Murry the comedian, you twit!
Deer Editor, Thank you for your profound words in Tuesdays post. I am with you 1000%. I’m sure this site will continue as long as you are willing. I know I’ll be reading as I have since the very beginning.
[Friday Joke] Google: I’m sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you. Caller: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. Google: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.


You know you’re getting old when you require a 7mm wetsuit to go out diving — and your still cold! I grew up near Niagara Falls, NY, dove there for 30+ years and wasn’t cold.

It was easier to not think ~Albert Speer, Inside The Third Reich, on why he joined Hitler’s party in 1930.  And here we are…