2018 July

Friday, July 20, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Dragon Flies] Friday I saw a bunch of dragon flies in my yard. That’s the first time in years I’d seen more than one or two at a time. They used to be common and very welcome because they eat their weight in mosquitoes every hour. For that reason, we used to affectionately call them mosquito hawks. Their demise was due to the chemical Mosquito Control used to spray from that old DC3. They stopped that particular chemical some years ago and now use one that only affects mosquito larvae, but this is the first time I’ve seen so many dragon flies at once since they switched. I guess it takes a long time for a species to recover–if, indeed that is what I’m seeing. I hope so.
[Politicians Cleaning Up] On Sunday, July 22, at 1 pm the Graham family, including Senator Graham and former first lady Adele Graham, will be joining Conch Republic Marine Army for hurricane clean up. This is the first event in a week of grassroots campaign activities that the extended Graham family will be performing throughout the state. Meet at Deer Run Bed and Breakfast, Long Beach Road, Big Pine Key.


[Diarrhea] Salads across the US, I understand, are under the microscope with McDonalds nationwide stopping all salad sales at 5,0000+ stores until the problem is corrected. It happened to me recently at a popular Big Pine restaurant.

Trying to ride a bicycle drunk, Video
[“Why run for Key West Utility Board Seat D”] Hello, I am Walt Drabinski, a candidate for Key West Utility Board Seat D and am responding to the question on the Coconut Telegraph of why four candidates are willing to exert so much energy and spend so much for this seat.

I am President of an international utility consulting firm. I am running because, I have always given to my community, and this is a position for which I am very well qualified. In fact, many say that I am the most qualified. I live and breathe utilities. I am an Electrical Engineer who built and operated power plants, was a middle manager for a large utility, received an MBA from the Wharton School and worked as a consultant providing expert advice to over 100 utilities. I have been an environmental advocate, community activist, and have experience sitting on and working with large boards throughout the US. I have attended or read the agenda packets for most Utility Board meetings and attended or watched on TV most BOCC meetings. There are issues at Keys Energy that need to be addressed for the good of the customers and the good of our islands. I have the gravitas to get changes made and need your vote make it happen.



[“How to stay cool while gardening in Keys’ summer heat”] Search “cooling vests”. Here is but one example of the many results a search found. Link

[“District 2 Complaints”] The current Commissioner from Marathon is never in his office. That’s an annoyance and waste of our money. A secretary could answer the phone from her home.
[Friday Joke] A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said,
“About 2 hours.” The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around at the shop and said, “About 3 hours.” The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour and a half.” The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, “Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.”
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, “So, where does he go when he leaves?” Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “Your house!”. The barber fainted.
[Prophecy] We will take America without firing a shot. We do not have to invade the U.S.-We will destroy you from within.  ~Nikita Kruschev 11-18-1956
[“Dead fish began surfacing in Florida Keys”] It’s most likely caused by the dumping of the fresh water from Lake Okeechobee into the Gulf.



[Conch Thief] She said she didn’t know it was illegal to take conchs. She’s heading to jail anyway. Link

[“District 2 Complaints”] Deer Debbie Halama, I would like to see code enforcement respond to complaints on their website. I complained about an illegal landfill operation in the Refuge and was ignored the first time. The second time I received a do-not-reply email acknowledging my complaint. The commercial operation finally stopped, but whether it was due to Code Enforcement’s efforts or other reasons I’d like to know.

[For Rent] 2 bedrooms. One bath. Completely remodeled. Unfurnished Duplex on clean boating canal w/seawall going to Pine Channel and coral reef. Tiled floors throughout. Stainless steel appliances. Laundry room. Ceiling fans in living room and bath. Small screened porch. Very clean. A/C., 2 large brick patios. Parking for 3 vehicles. Ground level. Port Pine Heights subdivision. Quiet neighborhood. 750 square feet. No smokers or dogs. $1800 a month. First, last and $1000 security ($4600 total to move in) Utilities not included. 3974 No Name Road. Craigslist Ad

Irma destroyed Fisherman’s Hospital. Now, it will get some big help thanks to new tax! Link

I’ve never hated a man enough that I gave him back his diamonds.  ~ Zsa Zsa Gábor

[“I can only answer for myself. I’m running for the Key West Utility Board because I care about our costs, our community and the conservation of our Keys -Beth”] Thank you for answering (sort of) my question. With the exception of electrification of No Name Key, Keys Energy hasn’t done anything in the past 20 years or more that would affect conservation of the Keys one way or the other.  So I’m not sure what is meant by that with regard to Keys Energy.  Since 1987 most, if not all, of the power they provide is imported from the main land. It would seem that the cost of providing power to the lower Keys is controlled by that fact. What could Key’s Energy do to reduce costs to it’s customers?  I’m assuming “our costs” meant lowering, as opposed to raising, electric rates for all of Keys Energy customers.

As far as understanding why there’s such an interest in Seat D, I still feel like I’m missing something.

Criticism over Gov. Scott’s post-Irma debris pickup deals stirs up political storm. Link
We are thrilled to announce that The Johnsons Insurance Agency/Eagle American Insurance has joined Insurance Office of America (IOA) to offer the Florida Keys and all of our clients an unmatched service and sales insurance experience. Since 1969, The Johnsons Insurance Agency has dedicated themselves to serving the incredible people of the Keys. We take great pride having the in depth knowledge necessary to protect families and businesses in such a unique community and are excited for the additional resources and opportunities IOA brings to our friends and clients. Link
[The Buddha] People wanted God.  Buddha refused to speak on the subject of whether God even existed. He adamantly denied that he himself was divine. People wanted the comfort of rituals and ceremonies. Buddha shunned ceremony. He wanted each individual to look inside and find liberation through a personal journey that began in the physical world and ended in Nirvana, a state of pure, eternal consciousness. Nirvana is present in everyone, he taught, but Nirvana is like pure water lying deep beneath the earth. Reaching it requires concentration, devotion, and diligent work.
[Friday Joke] We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.  So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, ‘He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.’

A few minutes later I get into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ I said as we drove away, ‘that stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard. She’d better not shit in the vegetable garden again.’ The silence in the cab was deafening.

[Treasure] A Russian warship called Dmitrii Donskoi carrying gold worth £100 billion has been discovered off the coast of South Korea and is believed to have sunk in a naval battle 113 years ago. It is thought that the battleship, which was discovered off the island of Ulleungdo, was sunk during the Russo-Japanese War and could have had the gold of an entire flotilla on board. The Dmitrii Donskoi was an armored cruiser in the Russian Imperial Navy’s Baltic Fleet which was deployed to the Pacific in the 1904-5 Russo-Japanese War. The warship would have taken part in the Battle of Tsushima which saw Russia defeated by Japanese warships.

Some historical accounts have revealed the Dmitrii Donskoi carried the treasury of the entire flotilla which would have included the port expenses and also the salaries of sailors and officers. The gold reserves of various other ships that were damaged in the battle could have been transported to the warship as well. The South Korean treasure-hunting company, Shinil Group, spent many years attempting to find the treasure ship and is now preparing for a joint operation with companies from China, Canada and Britain to retrieve the treasure.
The company said in a statement, “We spotted things that look like treasure boxes, but we have not opened them yet. We will open them up in due course.” The Shinil firm has pledged to spend 10 percent of the money found on the warship on investment projects on Ulleng Island, which is a popular tourist destination for South Koreans.
Ha-ha Russia, they got your gold!

You say short attention span. I say never bored.
The other day a hot dog cart vendor was claiming to have for sale “the worlds most expensive hotdog. However, they were fake hot dogs.  For $169 he tried to pass off a smoked cheese bratwurst with ridiculous fixings like caviar, truffles, yagu[?] beef, etc. What a scam. Everyone knows that a hotdog is a frankfurter on a bun with mustard, onions, relish, tomato, a kosher dill pickle, & sport peppers. There are several schools of thought on what goes on a dog. The New York style with a Sabrett dog and some kind of a onions (katsup?) sauce. Then there is the Famous Chicago Dog. A steamed Vienna a natural casing beef dog, with mustard, onions, weird green pickle relish, tomato, kosher dill pickle, celery salt, on a steamed poppy seed bun. Note that katsup is never allowed on a Chicago dog, that would be a sin.
A to Z of Psychedelia music. Audio



[Mickey Mantle Baseball Card Worth $10 Million] Too many people with too much money running around. And you work hard for a living! Video



Is FDOT pedestrian bridge out of step for Islamorada? Link

[Nursing Homes] Arizona woman, 92, shoots 72-year-old son to death because she didn’t want to go to the nursing home. Link




[The Good News Story Of America Today] My recent travels via small highways from Florida, through 9 states into the Midwest have given me a renewed hope for America. The small towns appear vibrant, rather than run down.  There are new businesses, painted store fronts, and a “pride in ownership” reminiscent of times past. Link

[“‘Climate change’ disappears from CDC website”] Now what? Does the fact that we are poisoning our planet so the oil, coal and chemical companies can make their sickening profits? There might not be climate change by temperature change, but sure as hell we are going to die off by other crap for dollars.



I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.

[Fish Food] I have been feed the fishes in my canal my stale cereal, crackers and whatever I think will help them. My question is, can I feed them diced and sautéed neighbor’s pets, minced iguanas, and ground up building inspectors?
[Soggy Joint] To be politically correct, what do you say to your cuzzie when he passes you the joint with a soggy end? You can’t use the n****r-lipped phrase. Any PC suggestions? I’m at a loss because I was born at a time when the going philosophy was “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. It appears that America has become Pussyfied. Ouups, that wasn’t very PC. Sorry, I’m bad

[Farting] The most dangerous thing you can do in the Keys is sit down wind in a tiki bar when it’s full of contractors and fat chicks! Wet your finger and test the breeze before entering.

[Blame The Rich (if you’re not)] I think things have gotten so out of hand control wise, that the super rich world controllers have lost it. With all the power they are supposed to have, why are we falling apart, having wars, diseases, over-population, crime, etc? This should be the perfect planet of beauty and paradise.
[Assimilation] The process of merging all sub-species into one controllable mass of less than intellectual perfect followers. SEE: chicken farming, tilapia farming and human engineering.


[Plastic Straws] Marriott International plans to remove plastic straws and drink stirrers from all of its 6,500 hotels and resorts worldwide by next year. The world’s largest hotel company said Wednesday that the move will eliminate approximately 1 billion straws and 250 million stirrers by July 2019. Link

[“Woman cannot run countries without getting emotional”] You mean women like Justin Trudeau in Canada? Prime Minister Man-gina.[?]
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