2018 July

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Doesn’t Understand Elections] Why so much advertising through the CT for the Utility Seat?  This website doesn’t reach many folks nor do most Keys residents read it.  Is the excessive campaigning herein because it’s an open forum or that the candidates live in the Big Pine area?  Now I see a large campaign sign at the triangle by the light for Vickrey.  My questions are:  Is this a paid position?  Does Beth Ramsey-Vickrey need to use her maiden name (her brother is the sheriff) to get votes?  Why have we never seen this magnitude of campaigning for this seat before?  Sounds to me like an ego race.

(Ed: You are wrong on all points. There are only 73,090 people living in the Keys and 60,000 of them read the Coconut Telegraph every month. Secondly, a sign at the triangle is a coup for anyone running for any position–everyone sees it. And lastly Beth Ramsey-Vickrey has used her hyphenated name since she married 39 years ago. Yes for 39 years it been Ramsey-Vickrey. See all you’ve been missing by not reading the Coconut Telegraph!)

[Salads] Bucktooth Rooster goes thru 4-6 cases a day of fresh lettuce and other fresh greens and enjoys delivery 6 days a week with not one complaint in 2 years! The poster might want to consider other foods they ate that day or the previous night. Shellfish, like bad clams or oysters, are the only food that would make you sick immediately. Typical food poisoning takes 6 to 8 hours or more. Thanks.  ~Rob DeGennaro



Heads up about “Star Registries“. People can’t find the stars they paid to name—and they’re calling astronomers for tech support. Link

[Plastic] A scientist testified before Congress that there are five shopping bags full of plastic for every foot of coastline in the world! Most comes from Asia.
[Keys Energy Rates] Hi Everyone, I’m Walt Drabinski, candidate for Utility Board Seat D. I want to provide a further response to question about Keys Energy (KEYS) rates. After I announced my candidacy, I spent hours reviewing the last rate increase support documents, the monthly adjustments, all tariffs, policy changes and most importantly the contract KEYS entered into with the Florida Municipal Power Association (FMPA) in 2001 and revised in 2011. This is a complex issue but let me explain.

KEYS purchases all of its energy and capacity from FMPA, having given ownership of generating units to FMPA in 2011. In 2018, KEYS had revenue of about $104.2 million, for an average annual rate of $0.139/kWh (kilowatt hour). Purchased power from FMPA was $60.6 million or $0.0815/kWh. So about 59% of all revenue goes to FMPA.

Right now, there is a glut of energy and capacity in Florida and if KEYS could purchase on the open market, its cost would be less than $0.05/kWh, or $37 million per year, a reduction of almost 38% in costs! There is a clause in the contract that permits termination. Other utilities are using that clause to reduce rates. I will work with the Board and KEYS management to terminate the contract and reduce your rates. This same FMPA contract also limits KEYS flexibility in supporting solar power.

I have other well-developed plans for recovering FEMA money, succession planning, system reliability and storm hardening. And that’s why I’m running!



When you’re high, but not as high as your friend.

[Dog’s Best Friend] A man jumped off the Bayway Sunday to rescue his dog who had jumped off the bridge minutes earlier. A fearless act giving the phrase: “mans best friend” a whole new meaning. Heroes are everywhere! Video
Please Mr. Editor, re-merge the political and daily stuff back again. I hate the Political Page being separated! (Ed: No. It’s mostly lies, exaggerations, deception, misinformation and half truths. No one’s opinion has ever been swayed.)


[“Marriott to remove plastic straws”]. What are they replacing them with? I think they are just trying to make Pixie Stix with the magic powder popular again. Link

[Guiding Hands] Help for the cell phone impaired. Video

[Glaring Light] I live on a very quiet street and have a county street light installed in front of my house that shines directly into my bedroom. Closing the blinds and curtains does not help to stop the glare. I asked the county to adjust the light, so it does not keep me awake, but that was three months ago. My question is, what gauge shotgun shell should I use to blast the freakin’ light out?

[“Woman cannot run countries without getting emotional”] Motion to rename “mansplaining” to “correctile dysfunction”.


Artificial light is killing our view of the night sky. But we can change that. For virtually all human history, our ancestors looked up at a night sky filled with stars that set planting patterns and helped lead them across continents. Today, we’ve filled that night sky with artificial light, brightening our immediate surroundings and dimming the stars above. Video

[Grinder Pump Lawsuit] Louise Delaney’s motion simply asks FKAA to follow their own ordinances and place the grinder pumps off of individual property in the right-of-way where they belong. Per county ordinances, they should provide for a gravity connection in the right-of-way adjacent to the property. Louise Delaney’s suit against FKAA and Monroe County is scheduled in circuit court for Wednesday July 25 at 3:30. The hearing is on her motion for summary judgment and a motion by FKAA and the county for summary judgment. Motion

This effort is costing a lot of money, and Louise has borne the brunt of it for the benefit of many of us.  Anything you can do to help her is appreciated.  Checks made payable to Louise Delaney can be mailed to her at 365 Pirates Rd, Little Torch Key, FL 33042.  If you prefer, a go fund me account is available. Link


[“This should be the perfect planet of beauty and paradise”] It was, but Adam and Eve screwed the pooch on that. On the other hand, if everyone just pulled their own weight …

FTR’s BaaaaaAAAK! Deer Friends, contrary to some, we’ve not yet said bye-bye to The Rock.  We still love The Rock and so many people on it.  But we will be leaving, probably in the fall.  In the meantime, I have chosen not to post simply because I didn’t feel that had anything to contribute.

But the other day I was listening to US1 Radio and Bill Becker’s interview with a candidate for the Mosquito Control Authority, Ralph DePalma.  I was astonished at what he wants to do if elected.

Mr. DePalma is enraged that Mosquito Control is not spending enough money!  Deer Friends, that is simply silly.  Then I recalled that Mr. DePalma had been an employee of Mosquito Control for many years.  Back in the days when the Bubba system ruled the roost.

He ultimately was placed in charge of that agencies very small IT department. He played no role in killing skeeters, policy making, in personnel matters, or in administering the operation. He was in charge of what is/was a one or two-person operation. In terms of Mr. DePalma’s tenure, suffice it to say that he likely was very happy when he retired, that emotion was shared by many others at Mosquito Control.

Back in the Bubba days Mr. DePalma did very well, very well indeed, free health care for life.  He was a strong political supporter of Commissioners who were hot to spend every tax dollar that they could lay their hands on.

Under the Bubba system, there were no term limits.  Very recently term limits were put in place thanks to the hard work of Chairman Phil Goodman.  During Goodman’s service, millions of your dollars have been saved, outrageous perks for the Commissioners have been ended.   Mr. DePalma wants to return to the bad old days of wanton spending.  Don’t let that happen.

Why was “climate change” ever on the CDC website in the first place?  That doesn’t make any sense.  The CDC is suppose to deal with disease, even though they’re completely useless, not weather.  Isn’t that Jim Cantore’s job?
A police department in Georgia says it is investigating the circumstances that led an officer to forcefully restrain a young boy. The first video showed an officer restraining a child. The second one told a more complicated story. Video



[Duck Boat Capsizes] Officials have said that children were also among the 17 people killed. As a sudden storm turned a quiet Missouri lake into a maelstrom. Video

Katie Hopkins is the “Winston Churchill Lite” of this century. Not due to her message, which is every ounce the measure of Sir Winston’s warning to Europe about the Nazis, but simply due to her diminutive size. Theresa May and Neville Chamberlain have the same appeasement mentality (no, one can’t just “get along” with someone who is willing to cut off your head if you don’t worship their god). She is right that all of Europe is again falling to the invading hordes much as it did before when the Ottoman Empire was at its peak. A lesson we all need to learn: history repeats itself it one doesn’t learn from history. Video
[Candidates Can’t Follow The Rules] It is unfortunate that not all the candidates running for election can follow the simple rules provided to each candidate in writing by the Supervisor of Elections.

“106.1435 Usage and removal of political campaign advertisements. (3) Pursuant to Chapter 479, no political campaign advertisement shall be erected, posted, painted, tacked, nailed, or otherwise displayed, placed, or located on or above any state or county road right-of-way”.

And it seems some candidates also need to be reminded not to attach their political campaign signs to private property, including fences, without the property owner’s permission.

[Don’t Reduce Plastic Waste If It Feel Good] Plastic straws. It turns out that the latest save-the-planet target is plastic straws. It is claimed that Americans use 500 million plastic straws per day. Even if all those straws were suddenly washed into the sea, they’d account for about .03 percent of the 8 million metric tons of plastics estimated to enter the oceans in a given year.  Suggestion for the concerned greenies: focus on what really makes a difference and not on just what makes you feel good.



[Straws] Americans use 500 million drinking straws every day. To understand just how many straws 500 million really is, this would fill over 125 school buses with straws every day. That’s 46,400 school buses every year! Americans use these disposable utensils at an average rate of 1.6 straws per person per day. Link

[Grinder Pumps Suck] The Monroe County Ordinances do not allow a mandatory placement of such sewer infrastructure on a resident’s private property unless the property owner agrees.  See Monroe County Ordinance  §20-105(e). 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. That, presumably, is the reason why the County sent to residents a letter in 2013 asking them to “choose” to give the FKAA an easement (as opposed to a letter requiring compliance). This is called “under color of law” as in “fake law” perhaps.
[The Actual Quote] Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  ~John Dalberg-Acton 1887
[Coconuts (not the bar)] Pick a coconut that’s heavy for its size and makes a sloshing sound when shaken. To open it, find the three dark indentations, or “eyes,” on the bottom of the fruit and press each with the tip of a wine key until you find the softest one. Screw the wine key into the eye and then remove it, creating a hole. Drain the water into a cup, then taste it. It should be lightly sweet; if it’s sour at all, the fruit is past its prime. Place the coconut on a bed of towels and strike near its equator with a hammer or mallet, turning the coconut slowly with your other hand. After the shell cracks, place the halves facedown, then use the hammer to tap around each shell until the white meat separates from it. Remove the thin brown skin on the meat with a vegetable peeler. Shred or cube the meat. Or use the peeler to make chips.

Now I know that coconuts come off the tree with no husk. I must have had bad trees all those years on Big Pine. ‘Poke the monkey in the mouth’ has evolved into pressing each with a wine key. Wine key? WTF is that?  I use a screwdriver–after I used two screwdrivers to pry off the husk. ‘Drain into a cup’ Please! Drink it out of the shell. ‘Place on towels and strike the equator with a mallet’ Swell. I hammer it open with a framing hammer and cut the meat out with an old (not for use in the boat anymore) fish knife or tablespoon.

‘Vegetable peeler’? Please Link

[Image] I took my 9-year old niece to Winn Dixie. Outside is a sign that says vote for a Debbie Halama. The little one commented that it looks like a wanted poster. Now every time I see it I see a lady in an orange prison jumper. Not a good image for a politician.
[More Condos] Marathon Boat Yard Marine Center in the Florida Keys sells for $6M. CEO of Oklahoma-based baked goods producer Bama Companies is the buyer. Link
I just watched a video where a 500-pound Jewfish (no such thing as a Goliath Grouper in my book) All you PC Snowflakes get a life They were Jewfish before and they’re Jewfish now. Just like Jewfish Creek couldn’t change its name, I’m not changing it either.

I once saw a Jewfish swallow whole a shark. You could see this ominous dark shadow below the shark and then, slurp–the shark was gone, and all you could seen was this huge tail as the beast sounded. I’ve seen huge Jewfish swimming in Bahia Honda Channel. Better check your 6 when entering the water. Video

I want to run for office in Monroe County and be in control of all the developers, the junta, and the investors who will rebuild these paradise islands into the world’s biggest tourist trap. How’s that for campaign promises? Follow the money! Follow the money!
Julian Assange is the most heroic of characters in our era. He fights for democracy for all. Nobody else does! He is now probably going to be turned over to the UK from the Ecuadorean embassy where he has been falsely imprisoned because of the CIA for the last seven years. Our rights are being impugned. Both the last president and the current have fallen-in with the CIA to deny his rights, and ours. Lets get on board. Video
[Islam] What advantage would Islam have if they converted the world? All hierarchical religions have supremacist tendencies. While some do it by evangelizing, others do it by rude force or ‘white revolution’ (making lots of babies and votes at the ballot box). Islam’s creed demands that all others (infidels) either convert or get exterminated. Those are givens. As to whether one of our leaders will have the nerve and state that publicly, at the risk of starting a holy war, remains to be seen.


[“Hotdogs”] Enough with this elitist BS I will put whatever I want on a hot dog. Since I don’t like mustard, I use catchup. Yea, that’s right catchup! If you don’t like it take your mustard and go eat your hot dog with your other stuck up friends.

What good fortune for governments that the people do not think.  ~Adolf Hitler
[“FDOT pedestrian bridge”] Why not build a tunnel? Why not a stop light? Why not just take our tax money and stick it in in your wallets, politicos? You whores are going to ruin what is left of the Keys paradise just so your large egos and bank accounts are greased. Go to some place like Texas that needs your BS!
The Rotary Club of Key Largo named Dan Cornell Rookie of the Year. Cornell joined Key Largo Rotary in March 2017. During his first year as a club member, he eagerly participated in service projects and was elected to serve on the board of directors for a four-year term, in succession to be president of the Rotary Club of Key Largo for 2020-21.

Cornell was also tapped to serve in a new role with Rotary District 6990, as a Florida Keys leader of Rotary Means Business. The networking group will host meetings throughout South Florida promoting business referrals among members, and membership will be open to Rotarians

In a time of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act!
Some time ago Commissioner Nugent declared that the people in the Lower Keys (his district) were losers. Now it seems that all the residents in the City of Marathon are the real losers. Isn’t karma great. It appears that there is going to be a new taxiing district especially for Marathon. It couldn’t happened to a more needy town who’s god is tourism. Build more high buck properties. Develop, develop, develop. Now they recognize that there’s an abundance of labor necessary to service their tourist business who are indigent and can’t afford health insurance or high rents. To continue with their lust for the tourists’ dollar it appears that the citizens of the great City of Marathon are going to get it stuffed up their butts. Where does it say that those who have shall provide for everyone? This sounds like socialism. Marathon is the city that took out the sheltered ADA compliant bus stop and forced disabled residents to stand in the elements and wait for the bus in an area that is not ADA compliant. All because their police were to lazy to chase out the homeless. The city of Marathon was notified be registered letters that they were in violation of the ADA Act but choose to ignore it. What a great city, disrespecting disabled Americans. People of Marathon, you deserve what you got. More taxes

[“Joint with a soggy end”] We’d complain of it being “ducked-assed”.

We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.

Russia just came out with a Dooms Day Torpedo that can kill everything. Why? What motivates a frustrated nut to invent such garbage? Legalize prostitution and all these nuts will go away!

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