2020 March

Friday, March 20, 2020

Toilet Paper Edition



If we do go in public, then wash our hands, is the virus on our clothes?

[No Virus in the Keys] As of Tuesday, there have been no confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Monroe County. For up-to-date information on the status of Monroe County and COVID-19. Link , In addition, The Florida Department of Health has put up a 24/7 information hotline at 866-779-6121.
[Bailouts] Why is it that when big corporations don’t make enough money for them to tighten their belts, us taxpayers have to bail them out? And how come when their profits are sky high, they don’t give us a dime?
[City of Key West Closes Bars & Restaurants] Following today’s executive order by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the City of Key West is directing all bars and nightclubs to cease operation by 5 p.m. today. This includes bars operating ancillary to any hotel, guest house, or bed and breakfast. All restaurant facilities are limited to take out and delivery only, beginning 5 p.m. today. There shall be no on-site dining or consumption.

The decisions for responses to this fluid situation are being made at all levels in the interest of public safety. This follows the decision by the President of the United States to discourage gathering of more than ten people. “We are taking unprecedented measures today to ensure a healthy and safe community in the future,” said Mayor Teri Johnston.

In light of this development, the City Commission has canceled the special meeting scheduled for 5 p.m. today. We want to thank everyone for their input via eComment. Each of your comments will be considered by the commission, and the City will be issuing responses to your concerns and questions on the City’s web page at


[Young People Getting Sick] On Thursday the CDC said 40% of cases in the US requiring hospitalization are people between the ages of 20 and 54 dispelling the rumor that only old, sick people get it.

[Friday Joke] A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled to see an intruder there. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: “Stop! Acts 2:38!”
(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your  sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks.The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture hell”, replied the burglar. She said she had an Axe and two 38s.
[$1000 For Everybody] I don’t think it’s okay to give everyone bailout money. Why should Warren Buffet or Elon Musk get a thousand dollars when they don’t need it. They said using income tax records to determine those who earn less than, say $50,000, will take too long to get from the IRS. BS. They are the Government and can order whatever records they want — it’s an emergency. Just giving bailout money to those who actually need it is the right thing to do.
[Doing Without] What would be worse, no coffee or no toilet paper? Let me ponder those awful thoughts during my time in isolation.




[Toilet Paper] It worked with an avocado…

[Bad Flu Test] Thousands disembark MSC cruise though guest from prior sailing tested positive for coronavirus. This happened in Miami. Could it happen in Key West? Stay safe island dwellers.


The internet is exceeding slow and I think it is because of the flu. Everyone’s online—the servers are maxed out. There’s not much else to do if you’re self-quarantining. I called tech support and the usual 1-2-minute wait turned into a 10-12 minute wait (with or without music). They said it was because of the flu.

[Friday Joke] Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Midway airport, leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hits bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said, “Are you OK? I’m so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.” The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.” The driver replied, “Ho, no, I’m the one who is sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for 25 years.”




I really don’t get all this panic about toilet paper.

Cap’n Crunch is worse in Canada. Video
[Distancing] Why is it when all the politicians are telling everyone to keep 6 or 8 feet away from each other, when they have all their  surrounding them by about 6 or 8 inches? Baffles me.


This custom hammerhead shark car was at Walgreens last week. It was some of the finest body work I’ve seen. Absolutely flawless design and execution. I’m really impressed by such craftsmanship. That’s something you don’t find too often in a resort community like ours.

How long does the virus live on our things and stuff?




I like to maintain a well-rounded diet.

All the spring break Coronials partying in Key West have realized:
1. Generally, they only get mild cases of the coronavirus.
2. It is a legal way to knock off Gramps and get that inheritance a little sooner.



[My Corona] YouTube parody on My Corona by Chris Mann. Video



The devil went down to Wal-Mart, looking for a roll to steal.  He was in a bind, clutching his behind, and willing to make a deal.
(Charlie Daniels — The Devil Went Down To Georgia)

[Food To Die For] All the people packing the restaurants at happy hour have given new meaning to the phrase “try the fried grouper cheeks they’re to die for!”


[Tracking Flu] When does the next virus update come out? As a Floridian I only know how to handle these things when there are updates every 4 hours that show a cone of uncertainty. I need a cone! Oh yes, spaghetti models also would be helpful.

[Friday Joke] A husband and wife went to a marriage counselor.  The counselor started by saying how important it is to know your partner’s likes and dislikes.  For example, he asked the wife what her husband’s favorite color was. She said, “Well he was a navy man so his color is blue.” He then asked the husband if he knew what his wife’s favorite flower was. After a bit of thought the husband replied, “Of course.  It’s Gold Medal.”. That’s when the fight started.



[Spring Break] A couple of Jersey girl spring breakers resting up before going back to the beach. How cute!

Beware of this phone scam.  An automated call that claims to be from the Social Security Administration requests you call a number they provide.  If you do you will be asked various questions.  Enough for identity theft!  Don’t fall for it or return the call. The SSA doesn’t do that.



99 cents a gallon for gasoline in Kentucky! Gee, if they are still making a small profit, how much do they make on the $3 a gallon down here? Inflated markups? Whores all.

[“Busy server”] I have hundreds of apps I can install on my server. I have my own server in Atlanta, GA when my business is an audio visual equipment rental service on Stock Island.


To heck with toilet paper. I bought dryer sheets My butt smells like lavender There is no more static electricity, and my old arse for the first time in 20 years is now wrinkle free!

The media is unintentionally encouraging flu panic. Seldom is there new information, but they continue to speculate all day.




This tiny house is off Quail Roost Road. This is not the solution to affordable housing. Are they going to crowd as many as they can fit there? They’re cute, but not as good as a trailer home.

[Flu] As we no longer can shake hands, do the French fist bump with each hand instead of kissing each cheek hello?




The Stock Island Burger King has seen better days. Everything in that store needs attention.

Every headline is about the virus and some of them are really sounding absurd. Here are some new ones you can use:
“Scientists warn that cheap beer can carry the coronavirus.”
“Zombies blocking truck food deliveries.”
“Can texting transmit coronavirus?”
“Is it safe to wear flip-flops?”
“Is it ok to take a walk?”
The first four are made up-the last one is from the New York Times. I believe it’s the second one.



[Apocalypse] There is talk of raiding the banks to get all our money out before a crash might occur. But where the hell will we be able to buy anything when all the stores are empty? People are tribal and those savages are the ones who start the riots. God help us!

[Food To Die For] All the people packing the restaurants at happy hour have given new meaning to the phrase “try the fried grouper cheeks, they’re to die for.”
[Weight] It has been known for years that consuming low calorie beverages and foods that utilize artificial sweeteners will increase your tendency to put on weight. Now, researchers at Yale University believe they know why. It appears that consuming sucralose sweetened foods and beverages along with carbohydrates “uncouples” sweet taste perception from energy intake, which impairs the body’s response to sugar, leading to weight gain, glucose intolerance and diabetes. Sucralose is by far the most common artificial sweetener. Because sucralose is 600 times as sweet as sugar, it is combined with maltodextrin to make Splenda that measures like sugar for adding to your coffee or tea or substituting for sugar in a recipe. Maltodextrin is a flavorless carbohydrate, so even without the French fries you get carbs with your sucralose when using Splenda. Sucralose was originally developed as an insecticide, and it is very effective as such, but sells better as a sweetener. Although the Yale research used sucralose in their experiments, they believe the same harmful effects would be found with the other artificial sweeteners. Weight control is not just about calories.
[Friday Joke] Abbott: So, they’re saying coronavirus is now officially a pandemic.
Costello: Who says?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Who did’?
Abbott: Of course, that’s their job.
Costello: Whose job?
Abbott: Exactly.
Costello: And what is the name of that organization?
Abbott: Not what, WHO.
Costello: That’s what I’m trying to find out!
[Conspiracy] Covid-19 is a total scam. Do the math and you can see it is no pandemic. China’s population is reported as 1,439,323,776. About 80,000 people were diagnosed out of that number and something over 3000 died. That is an infection rate of 0.0056% and a death rate of 0.00021%. They are now down to less than 100 people infected.
The mainstream media has created a panic and government authorities have ridiculously overreacted. The people living paycheck to paycheck are getting financially crushed by the insane overreaction. Home Depot cut hours which saves payroll, but sales will remain, so they have increased profit. Bar and restaurant owners may get Fed dollars or business interruption insurance to recoup losses based on bigger profits in previous years, but the bartenders, servers, and kitchen staff will be struggling to survive financially. I hate and distrust mainstream media even more now for what they have done. Since they overwhelmingly condemn Trump at every opportunity, to me it simply serves as a recommendation. Here are some statistics so you can do your own math and calculate your own risk from Covid-19. It is minuscule. Link


[Masks] If you can do a survey, I wonder how many people out there, perhaps by area in the Keys, have a face mask, and perhaps what kind?