2017 March

Friday, March 3, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[A**hole Department] The County Code Enforcement took down our 3 temporary yard sale signs yesterday. They were advertising this Saturday’s Community-wide yard sale at (mm21) US1 and Colson, Sawyer, and Drost Dr. in Cudjoe Gardens. How petty.
[Nude Beach] The only two real reasons the world does not allow nudity on all beaches: ugly people and hard-ons!


[Conch Fritters] You’ve got to try FanciSeafood’s conch fritters! They are the real deal. Monica makes the fritter batter and sells it frozen. All I did was spoon the thawed batter into hot oil and cook for a few minutes. Then I got to eat them — crispy on the outside and light and filled with ground conch on the inside. Yum!

From the January 16, 2017 Monroe County Parks and Recreation Board minutes: Big Pine swimming hole has construction documents at 60%. The County is working on changing the Land Use to accommodate the park. Link
[School Waste] he salary for the new Communications and Community Relations Coordinator is $69,200. But with the School District’s generous benefits package of about 26% that will cost  the taxpayers about $87,000, which neither the public nor the School Board knew when the Communications and Community Relations Coordinator was hired and went to work the next morning.
[Jewish Cemetery Vandalized] I think the Jew haters are jealous of Jew’s’ general successes. I can’t think of any other reason. What do dead Jews in a cemetery have to do with anything but cowardice?  A lot of losers and failures hate Jews for no other reason than their own shitty lives’ failures. You never see educated or sucessful people doing such hateful things. Wait until they catch these haters, you’ll see that they don’t have a pot to piss in and have never done anything useful in their lives, but hate.
Does anyone know what the construction is that being done on the Big Pine end of the old Spanish Harbor bridge?
[Lying to Congressional Panel] Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, the new attorney general, lied during his confirmation hearings, denying that he had met with Russian officials during the 2016 campaign. In fact, he met twice with the Russian ambassador, who is widely reported to also be a key spymaster.
My wife was pretty upset last night when she realized that our AT&T Internet bill went up after the 1st year. Even though they did tell her from the beginning that the 1st year was a special new customer price, and that it will go up the 2nd year (about $25 more). Well, boy, did she give them hell. She demanded to speak to a supervisor and got him on the phone. She insisted that they disconnect her internet because she’s only getting 18 Mbs and she is not willing to pay more for such a slow speed, especially that she’s already paying $60 a month. The AT&T supervisor verified her argument, and told her that she’s absolutely correct, and that he’s going to do something even better for her. He told my wife that he’s going to give her a new offer from AT&T. He said, he’ll upgrade her with the new fiber optic 300 Mbs high speed Internet with a free installation for only $50 a month for the 1st year and He’ll have a technician at our house at 9:00 A.M. the next morning to install it.

Do you know what? I just got home from work and the fist thing I did was turn on my computer. My Internet is friggin AWESOME, man! My downloads and my Netflix are zipping like lightning. Hey Comcast, now its your turn to catch up with your obsolete coax copper cable. You call 125 Mbs high speed? Ha, try AT&T’s 300 Mps (Ed: The CT recommends Fla Keys Satellite to get this high speed and do away with Comcast once and for all. Call Sammy Sam, DirecTV’s local authorized agent at 305-896-3017. Do not call the DirecTV 800 number or you’ll be sorry!)

[Morbid Turkeys] Bizarre ‘death dance’ video of wild turkeys circling dead cat has experts stumped. Video
[Defunct Gun Shop] If the Feds ever complete their investigation, the former gun shop and shooting range on 1st Ave in Big Pine Key would be a great ReStore for Habitat for Humanity. How about the D.O.T. buying the vacant lots next to US1 at the BPK traffic light? A traffic circle there would keep traffic moving.



Here’s an idea. The Miami to Key West road race. What could go wrong? Video

[Friday Joke] Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died. Tom wanted two things:  To learn how to invest his inheritance. To find a wife to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.” Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.  Two weeks later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
If you live alone, there is a survival guide handbook for single people in short hand, published by the Key West Press.


[Bee Glue] Bee propolis has been shown to work well as a remedy for yeast infections, cold sores, herpes, cancer, fungal infections, colds and more. Dr. Axe wrote a good summary. Link

The Looe Key Tiki Bar has always been my preferred watering hole, but management is killing the place for locals. First, it was the increased prices on food and drink. Only Boondocks is costlier, and the food is way better at Springers, Mangrove Mama’s, Kiki’s and Square Grouper.

Tuesday, I lost count of how many complaints I heard about the glaring, bright cold blue rope lighting now installed on the side closest to US1. I presume they are LED lights, which are not healthy at all, besides being a mood irritant, compare them to the warm glow of the old incandescent rope lights on the south side of the bar.

Another new irritation is that in an apparent retaliatory attack on the owner of the immaculate white spoiled Sptiz dog. He was told that all dogs must now sit on the floor. This dog, “Spooky”, is hardly a dog. He takes a seat, has sliders and tacos ordered for him and shares the beers and other meals ordered by the human he owns. He has very many loving friends at Tiki and kisses most of them on the lips. His human, Sandy, had words with a server who went on an extended break instead of delivering an already-ordered beer, After 20 minutes with a dry cup, he asked for his check instead of the beer and she took offense. Sandy has owned successful bars and restaurants much of his life and frequented even more, so he can’t help but notice the quality of food, service, and management.

Another new locals’ irritant is that the table usually reserved for Carlene & Ben and their several local friendly regulars on Friday and Saturday night is now history. They typically come early for dinner and Ben sits where he can watch whatever game is on while his wife dances. If Ben can’t sit at his regular table with a good view of the game, I predict they will soon go eat where the food is lots better, and if they show up at all it will be brief. Recently, the new general manager refused to allow an empty table to be moved into position to increase seating and drink placing space on an already double parked two tables. The empty table remained empty, like the ones near it, and soon lost all its chairs. Friends like to sit together, and most of these friends are regulars. Right now, there are plenty of retired snowbirds to help keep Tiki’s numbers up. If the locals leave the off season will be bleak.

Finally, Mike and some of the Taco Tuesday Jam Band have been booked at Tiki for this Saturday night. That was supposed to happen months ago, and be a regular thing, but Tiki management fell on its face. These guys are first rate and pack the dance floor. Saturdays have usually been half dead regardless of who plays–another symptom of Tiki demise, along with people leaving early. This promises to be a great performance, so check it out! There should be lots of seats available, especially under the glaring lights.

Your best diet is to get rid of your wife and her cooking. She’s only fattening you up to get your insurance money anyway. Sell the kids or trade them for a cabin on a cruise ship!
[DirecTV vs Comcast] Both companies are huge and have the potential for major consumer abuse. Neither can be trusted and the government no longer polices them adequately since the lobbyists have taken over. You have to stay on your toes to keep from being “nickeled and dimed” with fees and add-ons and anything else they can drum up. However, there is really no contest between the two. AT&T/DirecTV is light years better than Comcast. You can speak to an English speaking responsive agent at DirecTV and actually get something accomplished. Year after year, Comcast wins the contest for the worst company in America.

This is because Comcast is outright crooked and will literally steal from you. Get away from them at your earliest chance. Do not allow them to have bank draft privileges. I did and they robbed me and would only return it via bill credits over the following months. Link

[Men Are All The Same] Guys examine women’s products. Video
[New Listing] Absolute First Title 305-509-7155 Business Directory > Legal
Those punks who did that home invasion in KW are in deep dodo. You have to ask yourself what goes through someone’s mind when they convince themselves that they’ll get away with something like terrorizing someone in their own home–schoolmates that are sure to recognize them! Prisons are full of gangsters that have so little intelligence that they think they can intimidate someone to the point they’ll never speak out against them. Prison is exactly where scumbags like these gangsters belong.

Enjoy your new life in prison because the life you had is over. Such a waist of what could have been a great future. They are 17-18 year old cuties and will be getting a lot of practice in the jail house game of Drop The Soap.

[Pizza News] 3-D printer prints pizzas in any shape you want. Link
[Old 7 Mile Bridge] I am surprised that some think that repairs have started on the Old 7 Mile Bridge. No, it is all auxiliary work, like the under bridge access for visitors from Prithm Singh’s improperly approved new resort to be built at the old Knight’s Key RV park/campground. Meanwhile all access to the area including the non-bridge park shoreline has been cut-off from the public and will be for years. Gone are the days when you could watch or take a photo of the sunset there without two bridges in the way. The old bridge was perfectly safe for non-vehicle traffic, but eventually will carry busloads of tourists to use the cesspit on Pigeon Key. The State mandate for central or BAT on-site treatment seems not so important where Pigeon Key is concerned. I think I read that Pigeon Key offers accommodations for 70 people. Now to watch those ROGOs transferred to become more resort rooms for another Singh development.
If we look at the future of civilization and life on the planet how can we not see that genetically modified bugs, plants and animals will have a cumulative and adverse effect on everything. What is real and what is not? Eventually all these artificial elements will have an effect on evolution itself.
[Getting Married] Genius proposal ideas that are sure to get a ‘Yes’. Slide Show
[Public Records Hard To Get] I have repeatedly raised the issue of MCSD having appropriate policies for the processing of public records requests.  After several conversations, it occurs to me that I may have been using the wrong term and thus confusing matters.

Yes, MCSD does have very general policies regarding public records.  What it does not have are written procedures for processing public records requests.  There is nothing that identifies to whom a request should be sent and who is responsible for both the processing of that request and seeing that the requestor receives the documents.  I have suggested and continue to suggest that the new PIO would be the ideal person for drafting these procedures and making them public.  Further, I have suggested that the PIO be appointed the responsible individual for receiving and processing Public Records Requests.

Such written procedures would clarify what is currently a very ambiguous process that routinely generates considerable confusion and delay.   It is not uncommon that multiple requests must be made for the same document(s).

This situation has taken on a new urgency with the superintendent turning to text messaging as a means of communicating with you and others.  As I understand it, text messages, like emails, are public records to be preserved and disseminated upon request.




These are terrible puns.

[Wishful Thinking] Where are they going to open the new bar called Dollar Bill’s with every drink and beer only one dollar? It should be somewhere in the Lower Keys, locals only and nothing fancy
While I was in college, I had the opportunity to talk personally with a renowned psychology professor about how humanity is progressing. He said, humanity is not progressing mentally, only mechanically and that will be the demise of us all. Our inventions will destroy us by simple mistakes in their usefulness and who will be left will start over, and wind up the same failed planet as has happened many times before. He went on to describe how vicious humanity is becoming and how nothing matters but greed and profit. That was back in 1970



[Shrimp Fried Rice] This dish is seasoned with a mix of fish sauce and thin soy sauce mixed with sugar. Video

[Pee In The Pool] Scientists confirm worst fears about pee in pools. The amount of urine in most pools can be measured in gallons! Video
The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.  ~Socrates
The pen is mightier than the sword. Trump plans to only allow immigration for those with skills that will help America. That’s a good thing. Just how many falafel restaurants do we need? Just how many hotel workers and tomato pickers do we need?
[“R. W. Emerson What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you”]   Old Ralphie neglected to say what is beside you like a fat Jersey chick on a bar stool. Everything pales in comparison to that!
[Generosity] If you invent something and make too much money you are a thief and bad guy, but if you do not want money and just give the item to the world you are a fool.
[Field of Dreams] This is just amazing to me, not only is it huge, the proportions are correct. It took someone a lot of time to map it out and even more to plant it.   I don’t know who they are, but thank you for what you have done. With things which are currently going on in our country, it is great to see the American spirit is still alive.
Cudjoe Gardens is having their yearly yard sale, but I’d rather just throw my junk out or pile it in my driveway for the idiots to take free!
I’m not an asshole. I’m a hemorrhoid. I irritate assholes.



That face you make when you’re no longer the world’s craziest leader.

When our Federal Government spends money for projects inside America, that money stays here and is redistributed among the citizens no matter who, but when the Fed uses that money outside the USA, it is gone forever unless that money makes a higher return. The latter is rare to say the least!
[Illegals] Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security number and makes $25 per hour with taxes deducted. Jose Illegal also works in construction, has no Social Security number, and gets paid $15 cash “under the table”. Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not. Do you get it, now?
[Key West Orchid Society] Here is your March newsletter, sent out early as a reminder of the Orchid Fair this weekend, March 4 & 5.

If you are volunteering, please remember to be there on time.  Volunteer hours are 10 to 1 & 1 to 4 both days. Bring your orchids & tell your friends.

We’ll see enough of each other at the Fair, so there will not be a general meeting in March. Mac’s Orchids will be with us on April 16. If there are any left, the Garden Club has some clay pots for sale for 50 cents each. Good deal if you need them. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

[Conspiracy Man is Back] I’ve been asked several times how come I haven’t posted any views concerning this epic and monumental political situation taking place in the U.S. with the controversies and alleged scandals reported by our corporate controlled Mainstream Media. A friend of mine told me the other day, “It looks to me as if Hillary purposely sabotaged her chances to be president”! I should’ve asked him, “Why do you think that”? Because his comment has been pondering in my thoughts since that day. Many C.T. readers refuse to acknowledge the agenda of the New World Order. Yet, every president after JFK, regardless if they’re Republican or Democrat has repeatedly mentioned that the U.S. needs to work on the progress towards a New World order to reach a global prosperity. If you watch C-Span, you’ll also see many Senators and Congressmen (Republican and Democrat) push towards a New World Order practically on a daily basis.  Even European, Asian and Israeli prime ministers are pushing the NWO agenda. As of today, there are only two powerful world leaders who have repeatedly mentioned that they refuse to submit to the globalist agenda of the NWO. Those two leaders are President Donald J. Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin. Do you believe that it’s a coincidence that these two world leaders are the daily target of the corporate controlled mainstream “Fake News” media? Portrayed as the two bad guys that need to be eliminated? Why?

The NWO is the think tank of the Commission Of Foreign Relations which was created by the wealthiest corporate, banksters and oil tycoons, back in the early 20th century. Men like Rockefeller, DuPont, Getty, Warburg, Rothschild, Morgan and other powerful elite, united and created the CFR. The CFR created the Federal Reserve, TWB, IMF and the other powerful world banks that bank roll nations. The CFR controls Wall Street, API, UPI and Reuters. In 1947 the CFR constructed the CIA and the NSA during post WWII. After the JFK assassination, every person who has served as U.S. president has been a member of the CFR and their cabinet members, except for Trump. Most of todays congress and senators are CFR backed politicians. The Clintons, Obama, Bush’s, Kissinger, Brzezinski, just to name a few are members of the CFR. The CFR then created the Tri Lateral Commission during the Cold War and have spread their tentacles across Europe. The TLC has influenced the election of every European world leader and its political agenda.

The concept of the European Union was created by both the CFR and TLC, Who just happen to be the same people, powerful elite. The European Union was supposed to be the birth of the NWO. But they needed East and West Germany to unite 1st. Germany was divided as a nation for decades. Then as soon as Germany united they became the most powerful economical country in Europe in less than a decade. How is that possible? Who bank rolled them, and why? Germany then unites with their historical arch enemy, which happens to be France, and create the EU. Then both countries begin to convince all the other western and eastern former soviet satellite countries to unite, and thus, a European Union was formed. Now, each sovereign country had to give up their sovereignty and national identity in order to eliminate their national borders that separated each country. With this deal, they had to eliminate their national currency and submit to the Euro dollar. A NWO globalist concept was born. The agenda was to spread this concept throughout the rest of the worlds sovereign nations. This is why you have so many politicians in the U.S. insisting that the American constitution needs to be done away with, because its obsolete and outdated, and it doesn’t apply to us today like it did when it was created by our forefathers. Yet, the U.S. constitution has worked fine for over 200 years. Politicians like Bush, Obama, Clinton and other presidential hopefuls, except Trump disagree.

Now this is where it becomes extremely interesting! It seems that a rift has begun to tear the NWO agenda apart when it comes to the EU. The corporate media refuses to report to it’s American viewers what’s really happening in Europe. The media states with fake news, that the massive influx of Muslim refugees migrating throughout all of Europe are mainly women and children. The truth is that the majority of the Muslim refugees entering Europe are mainly Muslim males between the ages of 14 and 25, and these refugees are causing devastating chaos amongst the native European people, claiming that they are infidels with infidel practices. These refugees have taken over vast neighborhoods and have claimed the neighborhoods theirs. They have been beating and raping with a very high percentage of native European women in their streets on a daily basis. They have been beating and robbing and even killing native European males to a high percentage. They have taken over schools and are beating and raping their native European classmates. The European crime rate has become so overwhelming that there isn’t enough law enforcement to guarantee the safety of the native Europeans. Resulting with young white European males forming together and forming vigilante gangs against these refugees. In Germany, the auto biography of Adolph Hitler “Mein Kampf” has been outlawed since the end of WWII, and recently its the #1 best seller in Germany amongst the German youth. This whole refugee concept was a TLC idea, and George Soros is the P.R. man behind it. The Euro has collapsed. Greece is bankrupt, Spain and Italy are next and the crime rate has soared.

The citizens of the U.K. are absolutely aware of the present chaos occurring in the EU, unlike us here, and demanded BREXIT! The CFR is still insisting that we take part of this refugee idea, because the CFR is controlling our media and we really do not have any notion of what’s to occur if we do. Hillary was gung ho for this massive American refugee migration just as Obama was. Why? As secretary of state she certainly knows what’s occurring in the EU. Trump is fully aware of it. Trump is trying to avoid this from happening here. Yet, the media personifies him as a raving racist lunatic. It seems that the result of what’s happening in the EU, has resulted with a part of the NWO agenda backers to pull back and wonder if this is going to work, and why will there be only one guy in charge of the global decisions, and where will that leave them in this picture. It seems that one side decided to quietly support Trump instead. Below is an excellent interview explaining what is really happening here at home and abroad and how we are being mislead with monumental deceptiveness as a whole, by the power elite. This former high ranking and decorated CIA officer blows the entire whistle as to who’s really in charge of us, and actually owns us. Are we really free? Link

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