2018 May

Friday, May 18, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Tom Wolfe Dead May 14] When asked about his trademark cream-colored suits he called it “neo-pretentious” but he also discovered the style had an advantage, “thy will come up and tell you things.”

The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test (a highly experimental account of Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters) and two collections of articles and essays, Radical Chic & Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers and The Kandy-Kolored Tangerine-Flake Streamline Baby. In 1979, he published the influential book The Right Stuff about the Mercury Seven astronauts, which was made into a 1983 film of the same name directed by Philip Kaufman. His first fiction novel, The Bonfire of the Vanities. Link

[Electric Delivery Trucks] UPS is making headlines yet again for its driving efforts in the fight against climate change. The company announced last week that it will be launching a state-of-the-art pilot fleet of 35 electric delivery vehicles (EVs) that will be trialed in London and Paris before the end of this year.

The vehicles are being developed in collaboration with UK-based technology firm ARRIVAL. The zero tailpipe emission, lightweight composite vehicles have a battery range of more than 150 miles (240 kilometers), which is significantly higher than other EVs currently in service. The vehicles will also come equipped with Advanced Driver Assistance Systems (ADAS) that help to improve safety and reduce driver fatigue. Link



[Prank] Police praise creative students for ‘best senior prank’ they’ve ever seen. Link

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. ~Benjamin Franklin
[Low-income Housing Projects] I talked to people in other parts of Florida about how good these low-income housing projects are and got the same answers from everyone–they suck, they are cheap junk and house nothing but low rent people and become crime pits in months with drugs and guns. Thanks Florida for ruining our paradise.


[Paradise Lost] The Monroe County Commission will discuss a proposal Wednesday to allow a private company to place a communication tower roughly the height of the Eiffel Tower and three times the height of the Statue of Liberty on Blimp Road on Cudjoe Key. It will be seen for miles around and will probably replace the 7 Mile Bridge as the iconic image of the Keys.

[Elderly Abuse Scammers] Amarylis Maristan, a caregiver who has been wanted by the police since last June after a multi-agency investigation implicated her in elder abuse cases at two unlicensed facilities in the Upper Keys, was arrested last month by Miami-Dade Police Department. Link
[Bogus Mosquito Results] Previous GMO mosquito project’s success may have been overstated, emails reveal. A British biotech company seeking federal approval to release millions of genetically modified mosquitoes at 12 sites in the Florida Keys to combat naturally occurring mosquitoes that spread deadly diseases like Zika and dengue fever has touted for months its success in an identical pilot project carried out in the Cayman Islands as evidence of the proposal’s efficacy.

But emails released this week to a United Kingdom activist group through a freedom of information request reveal scientists working for the Cayman government’s Mosquito Research and Control Unit dispute the results reported by the company, Oxitec. Link

[Keys Smuggler Talks] At the time, Jorge Cabrera recalls, smuggling bales of marijuana into the Florida Keys seemed like “just another business.” A family-run trucking firm “had the contract to bring down fill when they were building the new bridges” in the 1970s, Cabrera described last week. Link
[Supply And Demand For Retards] To the racist/bigot who wants to bring back slavery and thinks gay people are the only ones that can “stick it” to you, here’s a newsflash. It’s called supply and demand. You know, that thing you conservative capitalists love to spout off about (until it affects your wallet). Here’s an idea, drag your fat, cheap, lazy, white ass outside and do it yourself. Problem solved!
P.S. Hey Ed. why would you even print that? I hope you didn’t think it was some kind of joke. It wasn’t funny at all.




Royal Poinciana tree is now Key West’s official tree. Link

[Deep Pockets] Men look for a woman with a deep cleavage, while women look for a man with deep pockets.


[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[Loaded Baby-Sitter] A 29-year-old Keys woman was jailed on Mother’s Day for DUI after police said she was babysitting two small children while driving around high on drugs.

Erin Russo, who is listed as living on Ramrod Key, was found in a Big Pine Key shopping center parking lot with the car running, a baby on her lap, a small child in the front passenger seat and a hypodermic needle in the backseat trash. Link



[Garlic Bread Expert] How did I miss out on this exciting career choice?

[Gold Thief Guilty] The Key West case of the stolen gold bar has ended with two convictions but with only a sliver of the treasure recovered. He said he knew nothing about a gold bar stolen from Key West museum. A jury didn’t buy it. Link


[“Square tortillas”] They are round because you roll them out from a ball of dough. Squaring the result would be a lot of waste.

[The Draft] How to save America. Just reinstall the draft and make everyone serve for 4 years. All the riff-raff will run out of here like rats on a sinking ship.



[International Yoga Day] Will take place June 21, 2018 on The Old 7 Mile Bridge in the Florida Keys. Video

Stone crab commercial anglers were spared the loss of traps suffered by the Florida spiny lobster fishing industry when Hurricane Irma stormed through the Keys Sept. 10, striking about a month into the season. The lobster season ended for many before it really had much of a chance to begin. Link



Great white sharks have checked in near the Florida Keys. One is 12-foot long. Video


[Marijuana on Flag] Estonia’s Kanepi town adopts cannabis leaf flag after online poll. Link

[Enforcing The Law] ICE arrests 78 in five-state immigration sweep in Midwest. Video




The pragmatist view.

[Snowbird Prevention] I found the perfect answer to eliminating the dreaded snowbird invasions, a good stinky Cuban cigar. Just light up in our cherished tiki bars and watch them run for the hills. Works every time. Save the Keys smoke a stogie!

[Business as Usual] Hawaii is about to blow off the planet and the news media has to show you this [no image or link was sent], but load up the downloads with advertisements like it is a game!


[Tea Bags]  Here’s why you should not throw away used tea bags. Link

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