2017 May

Friday, May 19, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

Did you know that offshore drilling can actually benefit the environment? The Fl Keys can benefit.  An offshore drilling rig is a massive, complex piece of machinery that can safely provide a habitat for marine life like fish, birds and myriad other sea creatures. These rigs essentially act as artificial reefs that allow aquatic life to flourish.

In every state directly involved — from Virginia to Florida — majorities of voters support moving forward, recognizing that offshore development will create jobs and enhance our national security. Video

[Immigrants] U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio supports President Donald Trump’s promise to build a wall at the Mexican border but says it won’t address the main path that undocumented immigrants use to arrive in Florida.  This is an interesting concept.  So the Department of Homeland Security needs to boost their staff and get knocking on the doors of hotels and small privately owned motels and landscape companies and construction companies thru out Monroe County to get those folks back to their own homeland and not in America.  Flush them out of Galway Bay, Trailerama and the Avenues in BPK.




New book: “Evolution for Dummies.

[“Civil War was not about Slavery”] Is was about States’ rights vs the Federal government’s rights. Proof of this is Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation which did not free all of the slaves as is taught in the schools.  It did not free the slaves in Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware or Missouri (which all supported the North). The Emancipation Proclamation also did not free the slaves in parts of the Southern states that were controlled by the Union troops.  If the Civil War was about slavery, there would not have been slave states fighting for the North and the Emancipation Proclamation would have freed all slaves and not just in selected states.



If Louie‘s grandma is still around, here he is just a few day after his 11th birthday. He has been a real gift to us.

My wife was standing in front of a mirror and said, “Look at me.  I have more grey hairs than blonde, I have varicose veins and I’m overweight.  I really need to hear something nice about me.”  I said, “Well dear, your eyesight is excellent.”  That’s when the fight started.
[Offshore Drilling] We’re the only developed nation in the world that keeps 87 percent of its offshore energy resources off-limits.


Sometimes I really wish Trump’s Atlantic City “friends” would take over Congress!

Moose in playland. And one gutsy game warden! Video


[Coconuts’ Open Mic Nite] ] Paul has been preforming & running an open mic format at the “NUT”. Stop by, show your support. He will have a trio with Jayson Lane on drums, and Gary on bass. See ya there!  ~The “NUT” <@)}}}>

I learned a valuable lesson a few nights ago.  Never take laxatives and sleeping pills at the same time.
Common sense doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden!
Asheville, N.C. is a really nice, cool (temperature wise) area. I had a second home somewhat near there for years, but (there’s always a ‘but’), Asheville has no saltwater, no real fishing, no beaches, no Picnic Island, No dolphins, no (fresh) seafood restaurants. However real N.C. BBQ is a different story.
They do have the Baltimore House, Blueridge Parkway, Mountains much higher than Mt. Trashmore, snow in winter, azaleas in May. Great waterfalls, and of course ‘Sliding Rock’. A beautiful pleasant place for sure. An absolute retirement choice. Maybe I wish I was still there.
[Sloan Hater] When KWPD finally arrest that vagrant piece of crap because his much lauded Potinger[?] says he can only sleep in public if no other option exists, I am throwing a party at Coconuts to celebrate! He could be at FKOC or independence cay or Catholic Charity. The homeless shelter is not for people like him who earn enough to live in the other places. Sell the laptop, close the cellphone account, get an Obama phone. You’re not a millionaire, you’re a freeloading parasite on the Keys, Sloan.


[Only The Lonely] Feeling bad about yourself? Well at least you’re not this guy, using the free air pump at the gas station to blow up a sex doll.

[Health Advice] I just bought over $300 in vitamins, herbs, essential oils and hazelnuts (shelled “filberts” for $9.69/lb) online. I got about a year’s worth of daily supplements in my order plus other stuff. I have been getting pistachios and walnuts online for years for cheap. New research shows walnuts can also help maintain the integrity of your blood-brain barrier to help keep the nasty stuff out. Plus, they are so tasty!

One thing I will be doing when my order arrives is making my own natural bug repellent using essential oils instead of neurotoxic DEET. (a 2oz bottle of Eucalyptus oil is currently on sale for only $3.99. Also great for nasal congestion or sprayed in a water carrier in cupboards to keep roaches out)

To make the repellent: Use 5 drops lemongrass and 15 drops eucalyptus oil in a coconut oil carrier with also about 2% neem oil. (Just the carrier oil mix provided 100% protection to Australian volunteers overnight, but the neem was necessary for that level of protection. Both are natural repellents.)

Shipping for my large order was only $3.49 and I usually get my order in just a few days. Piping Rock has a new “Crazy Deals” promotion going on now with ridiculously low prices. Check it out! Link

[“Sloan’s Job Offer”] “Anyways you impress me with your comments of truth on the Blue paper articles, which is so hard to find these days. One day I may make it down to Key West and I can explain in detail what is happening to my business. If you have free time and could use any extra moola I need an accounts rep. down there for my business and I could give you my 2002 Ford E-150 which even with the high mileage it still runs and has A/C. If you are interested or find yourself in Key Largo stop by I am sure we would have plenty to talk about.”

He later offered to pay gas and insurance on the truck, which I had no place to park in Key West. Being an “account rep” would have involved making sales calls for his product line I know little to nothing about working, I suppose, on a sales commission for someone I did not know. I did not see it making me enough money to get me living inside in Key West. I saw me racking up parking fines in the truck. I did not see me sleeping in the truck, which local police don’t allow.

Today, he offered me a place inside where he lives on Key Largo and I use the truck to deliver what he has sold on Key Largo down to Islamorada. He has a female roommate. I would sleep in an outbuilding or a travel camper he intends to buy. that offer would get me off the street and pay me, I suppose, something hourly to make the deliveries for what he sells. I might get in a 3-way facas. I might hot foot it back to Key West. He wants me to come up there on the two shuttles to check it out, then take the shuttles back to Key West.  ~Sloan


[Summerland Key Roadway] Does anyone know why the road is sinking in on US1? The area is the stretch in front of the new Mote Marine building. The ruts are getting a little dangerous. Hopefully the road crews will repave that area soon.

A naked Louisiana woman accused of breaking into a vacant Big Pine Key home, living there and then refusing to leave and put clothes on was arrested Tuesday.

[Dogs are better than women] Here’s a little test you can do. Lock your wife or girlfriend and dog in the trunk of the car and drive it around the block. When you open the trunk, who’s happy to see you?

[Manufacturing] To the 30-year resident of KW who has never seen “anyone with a real product producing job.” What do consider to be that type of job? Just off the top of my head I can think of Kino Sandals. I also know of companies who make skateboards and companies that make surfboards right in KW. Are you looking for factories that make IPhones, tvs, washers, dryers, etc, etc? No, you won’t find them here. Come to think of it, you won’t find them anywhere in the U.S. Perhaps you would really like China as they produce all kinds of “real products”. Your questions and irritations beg the question, why then have you lived here for over 30 years? Inquiring minds want to know. Now there’s a “real” product


Where and how do I get a BPK sticker for my car? Full Menu > Free Key Deer bumper sticker

[Mess] It would really nice if the owners of the former Underseas dive shop property would clean up what has become a slum-like eyesore on the island.  Boarded up door and windows, piles of trash and plenty of weeds.  Apparently, the owners have little interest in the overall appearance of the community.  If my property looked like that Code Enforcement would be knocking on the door.
[“Offshore drilling could play a major part in the turnaround of the current economy”] It sure could if the oil spills out all over the place and creates jobs for the clean up gonifs and developers!


Please add my business to the listing of Pet Sitters. Kritter Komfort of the Keys 305-923-6653. Full Menu > Business Directory

Deportations were down from late January to late April compared with a year ago despite the new president’s stepped up immigration enforcement pledge.


[Brotherly Love] An Islamic Shariah court in Indonesia’s conservative Aceh province has sentenced two gay men to public caning for the first time, further undermining the country’s moderate image after a top Christian politician was imprisoned for blasphemy.

[FKAA] I called to confirm the size wire needed to connect to the grinder pump and they refused to tell me. They readily told me the size of the breaker (30 amp) but refused to tell me or to confirm the wire size of 10-2 with ground and neutral. How come everything they do is wrong?


Each dot is a US adult’s guess about the location of North Korea. No kidding. A lot of stupid people.

I’ve been reading your very enjoyable Coconut Telegraph for a long time as a former resident of BPK, Marathon and Key West and a 26 year employee of Pantry Pride grocery stores. A lady friend works in an Oceanside resort near Key Largo and I visit her often from my now home in Sebring Fl. From what I can gather, many businesses in the Upper Keys depend on buses bringing their help into the Keys every morning from Florida City/ Homestead area and taking them back each evening, partially paid for by Monroe County, all made necessary by the outrageous cost of rents in the Keys. Some hotels, fast food restaurants and Publix Supermarkets are forced to rely on this bus service to obtain employees.

My question is, does the much-discussed Publix planned for BPK going to have a problem in hiring and keeping reliable help in your community? Here in the Sebring area there are 6 Publix markets within a 40 mile area, and other than about 10 full time employees, all managers, the help are all part timers, which seems to be the future for the work force. As most other Florida communities dependent on the ‘snowbirds’ from November thru May, once they’ve flown home again for the summer months, the payrolls are adjusted and employees’ hours are cut accordingly. And don’t let anyone be influenced by thousands of dollars of employees’ contributions distributed throughout your area by any business, since the business itself uses this as a tax deduction. Thanks for listening, Mike Gushey



Putting up the flag. Video

Politics, noun: poly ‘many’ + tics ‘blood sucking parasites ~Larry Hardiman

We hang petty thieves. The master thieves we appoint to public office.  ~Aesop

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.  ~Gore Vidal

[“Why is that woman can bash away at men and bitch”] Because you guys let us bitches cut your balls off. Now live like the sheep you turned into!
[Casting] I’m interested in others’ input on who they think was not right for their character’s part. My obvious choice for #1 is Tom (pretty boy) Cruise cast as Jack Reacher. I mean Jack Reacher is 6’4″ and 240 lbs. and they cast a short wimp for the role. Another one they got wrong was skinny Frank Sinatra cast as a bad ass commando in Burma WW II. Never so Few with Gina Lollobrigida. She was cast good. And what about the short Sylvester Stallone in the Rambo series? Yes, he does wear lifts and stands on platforms.
[Sewers] In a technical memorandum from an engineering consultant to FKAA on May 24, 2013, two comparable wastewater pumps of at least 20 hp were compared for use in the Lower Sugarloaf master pump station. Although the US-made Hidrostal pump was just 82% of the purchase price of the German Wilo-Emu pump, is 51% more efficient, has a stainless steel impeller instead of bronze, and was expected to cost $238,520 less to operate over 20 years, FKAA chose the more expensive, less efficient foreign (European metric size standards) pump!

Why? Maybe because the German pump is distributed by the same company as nearly every piece of major equipment at the Cudjoe WWTP, most of which was sole source specified, in violation of State and Federal public purchasing laws.
Smells mighty fishy doesn’t it?


[Civil War] More soldiers died in the American civil war than in WWI and WWII combined. It cost an estimated $5.2 billion. The civil war was as much about freeing slaves as the Iraq war was about freeing the Iraqi people

[FTR] Term limits are on the Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority board meetings agenda next Tuesday.  The meeting will be at 10:30 AM in their Stock Island offices/boardroom.   It’s hard to think of a more courageous or worthwhile endeavor.

The effort is being lead by Board Chair, Phil Goodman.  Mr. Goodman attempted to put term limits in place a number of years ago, but long term incumbents shot it down.

Some of the Board Members, while apparently in favor of term limits, say that they favor placing the limit at four consecutive four year terms.

That is twice as long as our Governor, our State legislators, the President of the United States, and the members of Florida’s cabinet.  Each of those  are all term limited to two four year terms.

Some will argue that it “takes time” to learn the ropes.  They will claim that two four year terms is inadequate time to become conversant with their duties.  But our Governor, our President, Florida’s Cabinet, and our State legislators are term limited to 8 years.  Each of those posts are far more complex and demanding than is the part time post of Board Member, Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority.

Without first rate policy setting and oversight of the Authority by it’s elected board, our community will suffer.  Our public health might be at risk.  Our tourism industry can suffer. The Authority can raise your taxes for infrastructure projects. Those who have been paying attention have seen what havoc and waste can be wreaked by those who have been in office for too long.

Consider that long term incumbents on the Bug Board championed and then voted themselves life long free health insurance…that move has resulted in Bug Board having millions in unfunded liability.  Long term incumbents also were the spear head at attempting to build a multi million dollar Skeeter Taj Mahal on Big Coppit.

It is inevitable that the longer an elected official serves, that the official will form relationships with staff, vendors, and special interests.  As the years go by, it becomes more and more difficult for elected officials to keep these relationships at arms length.  It often becomes comfortable or convenient to accede to those relationships rather than to the public good.

Four four year terms is far too long to even be considered as being a term limit.  It is a career.  Send the Board an email and tell them that 16 years is 8 years too many.

[Why Putin hates Hillary] This is an interesting article.  It explains what’s really behind these allegations of Russia exposing emails (tampering with the election).  Seems Hillary went after Putin when he won the election in 2011.  She claimed the election there was rigged.  Sound familiar?  Things are never what they seem on the surface, are they? Link
[Grunge Rocker’s Suicide] Chris Cornell, one of the most lauded and respected contemporary lead singers in rock music with his bands Soundgarden and Audioslave, hanged himself Wednesday in a Detroit hotel room, according to the city’s medical examiner. He was 52. Video
To the gentleman commenting on the Confederate statues and such. Are you on the wrong site? Your comments were articulate, coherent, spelled correctly and structured properly. Please don’t make a habit of it. Living here for 25 years, I’m sure you are greatly limiting your audience. That being said, thank you!



[What’s in a Name] North & South Pine channels are the North & South Pine Channels. Put up a plaque, or whatever but stop renaming stuff just because someone dies! Sorry, Commissioner George, but that’s a stupid idea.

[General Grant and Trump Agree] It was General Grant, who, during the Civil War in the United States of America, terribly vexed at the newspaper correspondents, on one occasion vowed he would send them all away and not have a press-man in his army. “Then, General,” said the American journalist addressed, “may I ask what are you going to do without soldiers, every man of them can speak and write?” General Grant saw the absurdity of his position.
[Flat Tire] I had a flat on my wheelbarrow and the tire looked rotten and the wheel rusty, so I paid a bunch for a brand new tire on the rime at a local hardware store. In a week it was flat and the tubeless tire bead was off where it was a pain to inflate with a tourniquet. So I bought a new inner tube for it and cut off the tubeless valve stem. Check out the photo of the American-distributed but Chinese-made tube, fresh out of the box and not even unfolded. I recommend avoiding Chinese condoms.

I also had a flat on a walk-behind trencher that would not hold its air after inflation due to leaks at the rim, so I bought a tube for that from NAPA to get away from Chinese crap. It came from Illinois, I think, and a special order, but was marked “Made in China.” Since I could not break the bead on the tire, I took it to a local shop. They put the new tube in, but it would not hold air. The shop said they quit stocking small inner tubes because they were often leaky, even though brand new. WTF? I bought a “flat-free” tire on the rim off eBay, but it cost about $100 for a little 10″ tire, instead of $20 for a NAPA tube. At least it’s not flat now.
My two wheel hard cart had a flat and I went straight for the flat-free tire & wheel at twice the cost of regular.

[Conspiracyman] I was surprised that Tuesday’s CT had no photos of the “chem-bow” around the sun last Saturday. Seems like everyone had a cell phone picture. For those that missed it, here is one I took. The deceivers and their deceived would have you believe it is just ice crystals that cause the 360′ rainbow. That may be a cause in some case, but not here. You can see one recent chemtrail to the side in the photo and earlier one had gone right across the sun and then one to the other side. This is best explained as an oil slick rainbow from the chemical carrier, and is similar to when a gasoline droplet hits the water when fueling a boat. Like chemtrail sunsets, they can be pretty. So far, I have not been convinced by any of the supposed reasons why chemtrails are being sprayed. But if it was for a beneficent purpose, it would not be a big secret. This has been happening here for about 20 years now. Some have never seen skies as they once were. Imagine the cost!
US Southern cooking and chef Sean Brock. In the spring of 2013, food writer Richard Johnson travelled to South Carolina to meet Charleston chef, Sean Brock, a man on a mission to revive ingredients and flavors not tasted for hundreds of years.  Audio
[Sewers] I found the following site with a life expectancy list for raw sewage pumps. Link
Note that their data indicates an average residential grinder pump life expectancy of only 2-3 years! That is just a small fraction of what FKAA claims, but is realistic.

As I recall, the life cycle cost analysis done by FKAA’s engineer assumed a 12 year life span for residential grinders and only carried the analysis over a 20 year period. They allowed a zero dollar “salvage value” (remaining useful life) to both systems after 20 years. They assumed a 5 year life span for the residential grinder pumps that were illegally and inappropriately installed in neighborhood lift stations, which is pretty obviously an absurd assumption.

Walt Drabinski and his Sir Isaac Newton Coalition challenged FKAA’s life cycle analysis, but was ignored by all authorities who might have stopped the FKAA-County insanity right away. His challenge is on their website in the Documents section and I think included in his excellent and thorough”Report to Gov. Scott.” Link

FKAA tried excessively hard to show residential grinders as being cost effective compared to a gravity system (that might still be operable in 100 years). It is not too hard to imagine why!
And why did the County not authorize one of its pre-budgeted, pre-approved consulting engineers to critique the FKAA engineer’s cost analysis and the design when they were challenged by other concerned engineers? Is this not a serious lack of due diligence in expending public dollars?

 [Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Radio n, a devise to make advertising noises
DEF: Television n, a devise to subliminally control sheep
DEF: Mercs n, the last humans after the great crash SEE: road warrior
DEF: Road-rage n, two gang vehicles on the Miami Turnpike
DEF: Feedback n, the wife’s boyfriend testifying in divorce court
DEF: Retarded n, switching your mouse setting to Left Handed
DEF: Eye Glasses n, things you ware because you were never caught
DEF: Bar n, a place to pay to meet other losers
DEF: Restaurant n, a food recycling place
DEF: Church n, a pointed building that’s really a bank
DEF: King n, someone who owes everything and rents to Presidents
DEF: Scanner n, a copy machine kinky secretaries sit on
DEF: Paranoia n, the fear of someone knowing what you do
DEF: Space n, the void between today’s kids ears
DEF: School n, a place to instruct the inept
DEF: Teacher n, a subdued frustrated educator



[Onion Domes] Stop, stop, stop your making the kids cry.

Key West Sail and Power Squadron America’s boating club. Public invited. Free safe boating week open house Saturday, May 20th  9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. At 10 a.m. “Hurricane Season – Be Prepared” a presentation by NOAA’s Chip Kasper.

May 20th marks the beginning of National Safe Boating Week. The Key West Sail and Power Squadron is participating in this event by hosting a day dedicated to the promotion of safe boating practices. Come join us at our building at 5205 College Road, Stock Island. We invite the public to come join us in the activities. Experienced boating instructors will be available to discuss boating education opportunities offered by the Squadron as well as to explain the benefits of membership and what we do as a non-profit organization. Beginning at noon to 2 P.M. we will be serving hot dogs for $2 and sodas for $1.

We will also have our vessel safety examiners available throughout the day to perform vessel safety checks to assure that your boat meets U.S. Coast Guard and Florida State safety requirements. You can trailer your boat to our facility or pull up to our dock for a free vessel safety check, or make an appointment for one of our VSC examiners to come to you. This is a free public service.

Marathon’s biggest fundraiser of the year “The  Marathon  Pentathlon” Video
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