2017 May

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures


Deer Ed, I have been a pet sitter for over 15 yrs and would like to be added to your Business Directory if possible. I am licensed and bonded in Monroe County and provide services from Marathon to Key West. Thank you very much. Krystal Stullkin 570-617-4268. (Ed: Will do Krystal. Look for it in the Business directory under Animals or Pets. Business Directory > Pets)

[Developers] And so it begins. The 1st comment on the Telegraph asking why the road prison land shouldn’t be used for affordable housing. I knew it was coming. Just what we need to enhance BPK and improve traffic at the Key Deer intersection and US1. I smell a plan that started when an excuse was ginned up to close the prison. Affordable housing? No problem putting it on BPK. Bus the workers to KW. Hospitality industry wins. Developers win. County taxpayers chip in. Workers get a place to live and a 70 mile round trip to a job. Yeah!


Is it not the law that while driving in the rain you are supposed to have your headlights on? It seems to me that a lot of people don’t turn their lights on when its raining. It’s a wonder to me why car manufactures do not just put windshield wipers and headlights on the same switch. How difficult is that?

Why is that woman can bash away at men and bitch and bitch and bitch, but once a man says or does something derogatory he gets hung out to dry?



I was wondering why we haven’t heard from CT’s favorite curmudgeon lately. Well it looks like he’s taken the show on the road.

My destination is no longer a place, but a new way of seeing.  ~Marcel Proust
[Sombrero Light Station Kaput] “Here is contact information for the NOAA program manager at the National Data Buoy Center. Mr. Shannon McArthur. Email”

I attempted to email Mr. McArthur at the above email address and received the prompt that it is an invalid address.  What did anyone else get?



1959 Ford Galaxie Skyliner retractable hardtop going down. Video

Beneath the waves, oil rigs are home to a vast and thriving community of sea life that some scientists say is one of the richest marine ecosystems on the planet. Video

I bought my wife a mood ring to let me know what kind of mood she was in.   When she was in a good mood the ring would turn green.   When she was in a bad mood it left a big red mark on my forehead.

[19th Century African Explorers on Arabs] “It must be remembered that in all these engagements in the Soudan no quarter on either side has been given, so it must not be expected that the Soudan troops will give it now if you come. With respect to the wounded Arabs, if you go and help them, they will (like the Afghans) try and kill you. They are very treacherous and, worked up by religious frenzy, they think that you only pretend to help them, in order to kill them afterwards.” ~John Hanning Speke
[Honoring Slavery in the South] Maybe they could all be put in one museum & protected for people to still realize the history. They are revising history before our eyes. Hiding the truth about our mistakes, importing slaves and then fighting to keep them. The fact that government leaders are hiding history thus rewriting history is scary because we all know history repeats itself. We all know if you want to see the future you look at history. We all know revisionist history is being taught to our kids and was taught to us!

The hiding of history is a horrid thing. Out of sight, out of mind. Who will be the next generation of slaves? Why us of course. Directed by our silly little phones and the social media platforms that rule most people’s time.

I say put the statues out there, go to the new slavery museum, visit the Holocaust museum, visit Mel Fisher’s display A Slaveship Speaks, get your head out of your asses and quit letting leadership divide us Americans. The way forward is to know the past.



Hallucination museum. Video

President Trumps Commencement Speech (condensed) at Liberty University. I love his line,  “In America, we don’t worship government; we worship God.”  Nearly 50,000 present for this Commencement. If you don’t have time for it all, watch the very last 10 minutes, as President Trump concludes his speech. Video
Those who know the least, obey the best.  ~George Farquhar
[School Board] Ramon, Once again, you have responded to my questions for information in a very thorough and comprehensive manner.  The detail is most appreciated.  The information on the Applicant Tracking System was especially informative.

If I understand correctly, there are 85 openings for instructional personnel in the District.  I have heard in the past that there are approximately 600 teachers. That would mean that the District is looking to fill approximately 15 percent of its positions.  Is my math correct?

How does the number of openings this year compare with past years? By that, I mean, is the number of openings fairly stable from year to year or is there a movement in one direction or another? Thank you again for all of your assistance.  ~Larry

[Crook?] The office manager, Alice Elizabeth Sparks, 48, of Tavernier, at the Florida Keys Free Press newspaper is accused of stealing more than $14,000 from a former employer was arrested Monday. Detectives allege that from 2014 to 2016 while employed by the owners of Forest Tek Lumber in Key Largo and Overseas Lumber Supply in Big Pine Key, Sparks randomly increased her weekly salary, used a company credit card to buy personal items, used the company checking account monies to pay her rent and changed her health insurance status from “employee” to “executive,” according to an arrest warrant. The warrant states that some of the personal purchases included alcohol as well as concert and airline tickets. Sparks is the office manager at the Free Press, which is owned by the same parent company as The Key West Citizen.
[“Cell phones dangerous”] In addition to what the poster said about texting being illegal, but not enforced, why is Florida so far behind the times? Any possibility Monroe County can go ahead and make Monroe County hands free? That includes the current no texting and adding no talking on cell phone except hands free. US1 is so deadly you should be paying attention and driving with both hands. Let’s make that a county law.




by Jimm Sherrington

[“Sombrero Key light station“] Thank you very much. We mariners really need the Sombrero Reef weather station restored. I wonder if we can find a way to expedite the Coast Guard permit.



Class picture during the full moon.

Offshore drilling could play a major part in the turnaround of the current economy.
[Wifey] I was just sitting in my recliner sipping on a beer and channel surfing when my wife asked, “What’s on the television?”  I said, “Dust.”  And that’s when the fight started.


[Tourism Up] 31.1 million people visited Florida during the first three months of this year. That’s a 2.5 percent jump over the same time period in 2016. The tourism advertising budget was cut this year.

Spy on the Southernmost point. Video



Redneck fish finder.

[Changing the Keys] The Florida Department of Transportation is to begin a landscaping project later this month along U.S. 1 on Big Pine and Summerland keys. The project includes the 4-mile area between South Pine Channel and Spanish Harbor on Big Pine and the area between Mile Marker 23.7 and Mile Marker 25.4 on Summerland. The project is scheduled to begin the week of May 28 and cost an estimated $1.04 million. It will take approximately 210 days to install the plants. The contractor will be required to perform plant maintenance for two years prior to turning the work over to FDOT. For information, visit Link
[Bureaucrat vs Warrior – it never changes] There is a tone in Egerton’s telegram which grates on me. It is, to me, as if he said, “You have got into a mess, and although you do not deserve it, I am willing to stretch a point in your favor, and authorize you bla bla bla.” It is as if I was enjoying this wretched fighting up here. I declare it is Egerton and Co., who made the mess, and would like to hang its fabrication and solution on me. I wouldn’t mind the burthen if they did not send such telegrams. I must say I do not love diplomats as a rule I mean in their official attire, for, personally, the few I know are most agreeable.

~The doomed General Gordon under siege at Khartoum 1887

Let me get this straight. We are doing away with the Confederate monuments but there’s a monument to the Holocaust? Am I missing something or did the south kill the Jews?


[Air Pollution] Global tailpipe tests vastly underestimate diesel pollution. Pollution from diesel trucks, buses and cars globally is more than 50 percent higher than levels shown in government lab tests, a new study says. Link

[Fracking] “Holly Raschein did not have the political bravery to stand up for her constituents and get the bill moving by hearing it in her committee, nor the bravery to publicly state why she would not hear it in committee,” Gonzalez said. “The ball was in her court, and she failed to deliver. It will be up to her constituents whether she will be held accountable in the ballot box. You cannot claim to be pro-environment and fail to oppose fracking — that is cognitive dissonance. There is no blurred line there.

Those in both chambers who would not support an outright ban cited the need for a study. However, over 600 peer reviewed scientific studies, including from the EPA’s Scientific Advisory Board, have documented the impacts of fracking very thoroughly.”

Teresa Blanco worked at Winn Dixie on Big Pine Key, not at a convenience store.
[Work?] Just catching up on the Sloan saga. I see again someone offered him work that pays this time sitting on his ass driving car parts and filters from upper keys down. But yet again he elected to remain a whiney freeloading dirtbag? It’s not society’s job to care for the lazy who will not help themselves. He would be off the  streets and doing well enough to survive if he had seized this opportunity to help himself. I cannot feel sorry for a person that intentionally makes their own situation harder and harder even when given a way out. Nobody should give him another dime or handout till he attempts to earn his own way first. Do not feed wildlife they become dependent, like our deer friends, people are no different.
[“Driverless cars“] Someone posted about how grand it will be when cars drive themselves. They sounded dumber than a box of hammers. Self driving cars will be great for insurance companies, body shops and lawyers but I can think of no other benefits unless of course you’re a fan of chaos.



[“Driverless cars”] You should see the new movie, “The Fate of the Furious”. Houston, we have a problem… Check out the trailer for the movie at Fast and I just saw it. Very thought provoking. Now I am a little afraid of driver-less cars. Video

[Einstein] I love the Einstein quotes. One of my favorites is ​​”​The only escape from the miseries of life are music​, cats, wine and hot women.” Well, maybe he didn’t have wine and hot women in that quote, but he should have!
Does anyone know where I can get a “Put your goddamn phone down and fish” T-shirt?


[Narcissism] wow CT, you dislike President Trump so much you had to print the comparison of narcissist Frank L. Wright to President Trump–twice. This is going to be a very long 8 years for you Mr CT. (Ed: Oops, I hadn’t realized I posted it twice!)

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.  She said, “Someplace I haven’t been in a long time.”  I said, “How about the kitchen?”  That’s when the fight started
[Survivor’s Party] Join the Sister Season Fund at La Te Da on Memorial Day for the 40th Annual Survivor’s Party!  This year’s event is bigger and better than ever and will include a small plates buffet, cash bar, live entertainment, silent auction, and door prizes. Enjoy music by DJ Rude Girl and a variety show in the cabaret with MC Laurie Thibaud featuring performances by some of your favorites, including Beatrix Dixie, Chad Newman, Joanie Sullivan, QMitch, Rock Solomon, Ronnie Carruthers, Shawn Montgomery, and Trey Forsyth.  The Sister Season is a nonprofit organization, helping locals in the hospitality industry when an unexpected illness or accident occurs by paying for rent and utilities so that they can remain in Key West and get back to work when they recover.  Admission is $30 per person/table seating or $20 general admission.  La Te Da is at 1125 Duval Street.  Reserve tickets at 305-587-1870
[Writer’s Group] Greetings, writers and aspiring writers. As always, all genres and levels are welcome. We’ll meet at the Big Pine Key library from 1-3 pm. Come to our optional meet and greet for lunch at Bistro 31 at noon.  ~Laura. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
There’s already too many old, pasty people from somewhere else down here. Look at the reef, look at the fish catch photos, and look at the restaurants and bars – they’re closed by 9 p.m. on Big Pine. We don’t need more tourists we need to dump tourist development. Go to Asheville people, they got drum circles and everything.
Uhh… I’m sure uhh Curt Zuelch from uhh the FKAA is a uhh highly uhh educated man uhh, but uhh he sounds like butthead, from uhh yeah, from uhh the Bevis & Buthead show. Oh, and the morning mix is uhhm uhh…. let me see . . . doot ta doot ta do is such a good show they took it from ten hours a week to one. ~

With all the artists, writers and useless eaters living in Key West is this city a national landmark for government grants, welfare checks, and un-taxable incomes? Seems so, because I have never seen anyone work at a real product producing job since I came here 30 years ago.

[“Illegal aliens”] My father’s Irish ancestors came through Ellis Island with all the legal stuff. My Mom’s family included the real first President of the United States (in Congress assembled). I am really tired of our leaders not understanding an illegal alien.
[American Dream Concert] Kick off Memorial Day weekend early at the 3rd Annual American Dream Concert on the beach at the Pier House Resort and Spa on Thursday, May 25th from 6pm – 9pm.  The evening features live music by Bill Blue and the Nervous Guys and benefits Habitat for Humanity of Key West and Lower Florida Keys. In addition to great music, guests will enjoy light fare, raffles, games, prizes, a silent auction, and dancing on the beach. Habitat appreciates the generous support of the Pier House, which has provided the venue, the music, the food, a $500 gift card to raffle, dinner for two, and spa services in support of the American Dream of Homeownership! There is a suggested donation of $10 at the door. Habitat for Humanity believes that EVERYONE deserves a decent affordable place to live. For more information, contact 305-2945-9006 or visit
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