2021 September

Friday, September 17, 2021

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Monthly Followers

[Murder Most Foul] Lisa Sanders. This reward poster was on a tree at the Kohen boat ramp this week. I think there were three girls murdered around that time. Everyone was freaked out. I still am when I think back to that time. One was dragged behind a car and another had her heart cut out.
[Diddling of Young Girl] Authorities arrested three Lower Keys teenagers following the discovery of a cellphone video depicting two of the boys committing sexual acts on a 12-year-old girl. Demetrius Jahmal Maynard, 16, of Big Pine Key, Bryson Lee Tedford, 16, and Bryson Lee Tedford, 16, also of Big Pine Key were charged with lewd and lascivious battery and other charges. School officials notified the Sheriff’s Office in April of an illicit cellphone video being shared by students.
[Old Bottles] I’m looking for a bottle dump from the 19th century and before, within 20 miles of Key Largo. Ocean or gulf. To donate some as well as admire others. Absolutely will not, have not, sold one bottle or jug in 43 years of PADI certification. Anyone? Jay, 305-296-8280. Thank you
[Friday joke] Me: The Doctor said I should touch myself whenever I feel like it.
My Wife: “You idiot!” He said you could have a stroke at any time!

[Fantasy Fest] Instead of picking apart the festival, they should just cancel the whole thing. That’s what Tokyo should have done.

[King Tides] For the next few months, Monroe County could experience a “royal” pain as seasonal king tides are expected throughout the island chain. King tides are unusually high tides that occur several times a year, usually in the fall, that can cause coastal tidal flooding, especially in low-lying areas. Link

[R.I.P. Mike Foster] Hearts heavy following community icon’s passing. Nice picture – guy dies from COVID – not a mask in sight.

Easy Does It Hair Shop has been closed for maintenance and refreshing. We will be back open for business as usual Monday, September 20th. Thanks for your understanding.

[“Name that bug”]  ] The large dark-colored moths are called Black Witch moths-Butterfly of Death. Link

[Affordable Housing] Overheard in a Key West bar that some of the affordable homes being stuck all over the Keys will be housing displaced immigrants and other undesirables. Please, someone investigate this before our values go down the tubes.
[Pregnancy] Special info for the lady who was ruffled on Tuesday, concerning those pesky males who keep getting women preggers.  Ma’am, you profess to believe that men should be forced to wear a condom.  (I wonder how that would be enforced.  Perhaps a brand new guv’mint agency: the dreaded Pecker Police.  But a condom is a crappy method of birth control.  They can break, they can slip, they can leak, and usually can be used only once.  That’s a definite negative.  Aside from not engaging in sexual intercourse, the very best protection against pregnancy is birth control pills.  The prevention rate is way up there at about 99% when they are used properly. There is a 100% way to avoid pregnancy.  Don’t have sex with men.  Judging from your writing, that should not be a problem for you.
Yup, my wife and I have had the full course of the Moderna vaccine, including the booster.  It is available. Also, contrary to your belief, wearing a mask will not prevent pregnancy, nor will being vaccinated.
[Revenge of the Vaccinated] California Governor Newsom trumps election recall from anti-vaccine group.

Coming to an affordable housing near you: Afghan refugees from the 14th century.

[Foot Traffic Only] I hate how Key West Officials manipulate the people, like keeping the main drag open for foot traffic not vehicles, so the shops have better chances to snare the money from the tourists!

Omar and Nicole Maldonado closed a deal to purchase Grassy Key’s S.S. Wreck and Galley Grill for $1.375 million in July. Link

[Reality TV] Aaagh! Another “buy a vacation property” tv show. The realtor oohs and aahs 3 properties, then shows each to a buyer. Well, you can cut right to the chase in the last 5 minutes of the show. The buyer chooses A, the realtor in turn states, “Oh, I just new that was the one”. Gag me with a spoon!
Major Fantasy Fest events continue to be canceled. The Masquerade March, aka the Locals Parade, has been canceled also. Link


There’s a new beach forming from the tiny island Irma devastated off Picnic Island.

[The Fifth Estate] In a very short definition, we can define the fifth estate as the term for non-traditional media. That’s to say, anything but the big boys like the New York Times, CNN, FOX News, Time Magazine, and so on. Those guys have their own interests in policymaking and may be in cahoots with other estates or just have their own political leanings that run counter to your own. Link
[Immunization Record] The Minnesota Department of Health has launched a new smartphone application that allows residents to have a digital copy of their immunization record, including whether they’ve received the COVID-19 vaccine. They can also see whether they’re overdue for other vaccines. Link
[Friday Joke] Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol. Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. Here’s her story in her own words: “While waiking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex—husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. it began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. “If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband’s kneecap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus.”

[Bird Love] These two frigates seem to be wither fighting or f**king. One was flying upside down!