2022 september

Friday, September 9, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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Queen Elizabeth II, who reigned over the U.K. for 70 years, dies at 96. The monarch was a constant and reassuring figure as she helped lead her country through a period of radical shifts in the latter half of the 20th century. Link

[Pervert Accusation] (Per league board members of Key West) If a coach or parent abuses a child on the field there isn’t much they can do. They can remove them from the organized league. However, Key West elected leadership will allow them to still coach and be on the fields since they’re City fields. They’ll even work with the abuser and the leagues to hide the issue if they’re a certain person as long as they assaulted a child and not a city or board member. The city is more worried about tourism and protecting their Buddies than protecting children.

[Pogo Stick] Inside the high-flying world of extreme pogo. Atop a new generation of souped-up sticks, these daredevils want to do for pogo what legends like Tony Hawk did for skateboarding. Link

[Beautiful Skin] Is there any science behind the ‘skin cycling’ trend on TikTok? There is no one size-fits-all solution to getting better skin. Link
[Friday Joke] Japanese Health Tips
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it. Don’t waste time on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster.  Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good.   Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.   Beer also made of grain.   Grain good too. – Bottoms up!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: You not listening! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy! HEL-LO-O-O! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.


[Kitten] Lost in a mountain of fur, I wonder if I can explore that big cave?

Per the gruesome murders in Tennessee. Forget the criminal justice system, turn him over to kinfolk for a week. Then send him to a jail for a month or so, get medical treatment, meals, r & r, also cable tv, fatten him up. Then ling chi.
Give the mutt what he deserves! God help us all.

[French Revolution] Robespierre was feared during the French Revolution’s attempt at a democracy. And everyone was afraid to cross him as long as his guillotine was still working. No politician should be feared in a democracy.

[Friday (tasteless) Joke] Adam and Eve had just had sex for the first time. Adam was relaxing by a tree, when God’s voice boomed down from above, ‘You’ve just experienced sex for the first time. How was it?’ Adam replies, ‘Oh Lord, it was great. I’ve never felt so good in my life.’
God says, ‘Where is Eve, thine wife?’
Adam replies, ‘She is washing herself, down in the river.’
Suddenly, the skies turned dark and lightning flashed and thunder sounded. God became furious and said, ‘Nooo! Now I’ll never get that smell out of the fish.’


[Lingerie] What happened to woman’s slips? What were they for in the first place? Why did woman wear them?

[Friday Joke] What’s the difference between California and the Titanic? The Titanic had its lights on when it sank.

[Women] Once you understand why the pizza is made round, packed in a square box, and eaten in a triangle, only then will you understand women!

[Friday Joke] A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, “Well, your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are Coming” and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.
But, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident” I just lost it…
“Case dismissed!”

The Queen is dead. LONG LIVE THE KING!

[Friday Joke] Marvin was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin who frantically scribbled a note. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket.

It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said, “And you know what? I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died, he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it and began reading. The note said, “Hey, you are standing on my oxygen tube!”

[History’s Weirdest Jobs] Ornatrices, Groom of the Stool, Whipping Boy, Vomit Collector. Link
[What’s That In My Sausage] 4,480 pounds recalled in four states after discovery of  thin blue plastic embedded inside the pork.


Charles immediately becomes king after death of mom, Queen Elizabeth II. Video

published at 7:55am