2021 April

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Followers

[Electoral College] “The founding fathers’ logic wasn’t clear at the Constitutional Convention of 1787?” It is very clear. You are correct that in a democracy a majority vote is generally how leaders are elected. That’s all fine and dandy for those countries that are democracies. We, on the other hand, are not a democracy but rather a Republic. The electoral college system was devised to make a national election fair. You advocate for an unfair election process. For simplicity let’s divide the country into three parts, the west coast, the Midwest, and the east coast. The west and east coast states and cities are vastly more populous and overwhelmingly vote for the candidate of party A. The Midwest cities and states, even though there are many more of them, have much smaller populations and usually vote for candidate of party B. The vote is cast. Party A’s candidate will always win in a majority vote. Even if practically every Midwest vote in this vast swath of the country voted for the candidate of party B, they would always lose, in a majority vote. If you lived in the Midwest, why bother even voting? Your vote is meaningless in a majority vote. The members of that constitutional convention in 1787 knew an electoral college system would be needed to make things fair. This system has been electing presidents for centuries and it would take a constitutional amendment to change it, and that is highly unlikely.


What’s in a Name?

[“Mobile Wi-Fi trailers”] People here keep saying that Verizon was the only mobile WiFi site in the Keys after Irma. Very early on, perhaps even before the Verizon one, AT&T had one set up on Summerland. It was the best WiFi coverage I’ve ever had. I still had no power and no water for three and a half weeks. But my mommy up north knew that I was alive!

[Marathon Kmart Closing] Kmart hiring workers for store closings in Middle, Upper Keys. Key West location appears unaffected. Link

[Back To Normal] I’m glad the country is getting back to normal. It’s gone from all Trump all the time back to the usual mass shooting once a week, sensational trials, and of course, Congressional sex scandals.

[Flex Seal] Last year a guy painted his sailboat bottom with Flex Seal. I thought it was risky and not such a good idea. Just now I saw a Flex Seal ad on TV where it showed the pitchman painting a sailboat’s leaky hull!

Key West woman offended by Facebook post. This is funny. She did not share someone’s opinion, then set out to “cancel” them. Link
[“Mobile Wi-Fi trailers”]  You don’t need a Wi-Fi trailer. My cell provider offers data and a hot spot service with my phone plan. After IRMA, I simply drove to where I found decent cell service and ordered a pressure cleaner, a safe and food. UPS delivered it all. For what it’s worth, I don’t have AT&T or Verizon either. I pay eighty bucks a month for two phones with unlimited everything. I bought both phones with cash and got service started through Radio Shack on Big Pine.  Turn off the T.V. and shop local.
There’s a blood drive at Bealles, Thursday April 8th 12-5 pm. Donor gifts are tie-dye shirt & $10 eCard. Thanks for giving. Link


[Vaccine] Does anyone else think the needle is extremely long? I think that’s why they squeeze your arm, to make more meat to pierce so they don’t jab the bone.

[Fire in Medora, North Dakota] During a press conference held Friday in Medora against the backdrop of scorched hills and the Hollywood-esque sign reading “Medora” at the Burning Hills Amphitheatre, Burgum noted that the area burned by wildfires so far this year in North Dakota had surpassed 30,000 acres – more than triple the entirety of 2020. Video


[Mixed Marriage] I must be old-fashioned as I come from a mixed marriage. My father was a male and my mother a female.

I remember reading a letter to the editor I believe that I found online written by a deputy complaining about people from Miami fishing in the Keys. It may have been 10 years old. Is there anyway you can search your archive for this letter? I can’t recall which paper it was but I feel like it was possibly yours. Thanks, Kim. (Ed: We don’t have a paper–never have.)
[Radioactive Keys] Will it be safe to swim in the Lower Florida Keys waters due to the Piney Point toxic waste leakages? This could mean cancelled vacations, amongst other bad things, like poisoned seafood and animals. After learning that a yacht burned down completely in the Marquesas just recently, we are re-thinking our trip to Dry Tortugas. Did the yacht owner have to dig deep and pay a lot of money? Why didn’t they have their generator serviced by a professional? All reservations may not give full refunds because of radioactive byproducts, radium, uranium and radon gas in the waters but we may have to 86 our trip.


[Covid] Hugh Hefner became a multi-millionaire staying home in his jammies. I’m not having the same success.

[Light Pollution]  Be a good neighbor, of migrating birds, and humans who would like to see stars, planets, and the Moon too. 


[Missus Potatohead] I can’t believe I’m living in a world that is reassigning the gender of a plastic potato.

[Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Cellphone] “County didn’t provide mobile Wi-Fi trailers after Hurricane Irma”] Ahh, gee whiz, isn’t a good am radio enough for you in emergencies like it was for the last 100 years? Save the world ban cellphones.


[Free Seeds] Try this link if you want some free seeds for your garden.  No guarantee the Key Deer won’t eat whatever you plant, but a gardener has to try! Link

[Xmas Savings] Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving this year to save on Christmas gifts.


The Ocean’s Youngest Monsters are ready for glamour shots. Great pictures and new exploration. Link

[Keys Under Attack] With all the nuts running crazy, what would happen if the Keys got attacked by a bunch of nuts or foreigners? There’s no place to hide!


[Mars] What you see here aren’t just any clouds, they’re Martian clouds. Take a moment out of your day to look at the sky of another world. Link

Gecko from GEICO? I dumped them after 16 years when I found them on a list of wokeness with Progressive and Coca-Cola. Warren Buffet doesn’t need any money from me so I went local! I called a the insurance agent, Isaksen Insurance, who hooked me up with a company that doubled my coverages for half the price. It’s time for us to wake up and dump as many companies that advertise on TV and shop local.

There has been like 15 DUI arrests since April 1st in the Florida Keys. We should close all the bars down, dump all the liquor into the ocean and make those arrested for DUI wear a dunce cap when in public; or we could just follow due process in the law.

Get Your Deer Beer Heer!