2022 July

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

[“Average American woman weighs 170 pounds”] Here, this should help​

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Last Friday evening’s rainbow over north-eastern Big Pine Key.

The top restaurant violations in Florida for 2019 and 2020. Roaches, flies, a food truck with no hot water: Keys to Palm Beach filthy restaurants. Video


A deck is just a sad treehouse for middle-aged people.

[Mold Removal] Is there anyone in the Keys who can clean a concrete dock of mold? Please post your ad here.

You can have my fireworks when you pry them from my cold dead fingers, which are right over there by the sidewalk. Video

Singapore hangs retarded drug user. Link


Mr. Potato Head. The mouth looks like Bubbles’ from the Trailer Park Boys.

[Guns] FBI: more people killed with hammers, clubs than with rifles of every kind. Link

Life Hacks
that work extremely well. I couldn’t stop watching these great tips. Video

[Hemorrhoids] Did you know that more than half of all people will have to deal with hemorrhoids at least once in their life? Although hemorrhoids are an issue no one looks forward to dealing with, if you ever find yourself addressing that pesky condition, be VERY glad you are not living in ancient Greece with the famed Hippocrates (aka the “Father of Modern Medicine”) as your physician. Link


[Caption This] Meeting new girlfriends. What is she saying? Something like, “Hey asshole what the f**k are you doing?

The untold truth of McDonald’s. Link
[Computers Are Bad] I tell you, I will never depend on computers ever again!  While redoing a ton of files of all kinds of formats I have had so many Windows errors that I’m ready to toss these boxes into my canal and get a life. There is no way anyone should depend on keeping important information in a computer, in the cloud or on anything electronic. Print it.  As far as pictures go, keep your old photos and slides forever  or else, POOF, they can disappear in a nano second.  Backing up to other hard drives or other devices really is just as unsafe. All files can go poof instantly.  Also think about what happens when the electric goes off.


A beautiful morning at the reef at about 8:30 on Monday.

[“Guns”] If there were no guns, game wardens would still be needed to catch poachers armed with knives and bows and arrows hunting with snares and traps.


I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart, while they’ve never even seen one of his paintings.

Every time I turn around I find myself going the other way and there I am.
[Fentanyl] The State of Florida has seen an exponential increase in overdoses associated with fentanyl. State agencies and Florida Department of Law Enforcement are working together to investigate and immediately address this public safety and health issue. Fentanyl is a powerful synthetic opioid up to 100 times more potent than morphine. As little as two milligrams, about the size of 5 grains of salt, can be fatal
[Generally Upset] Is it possible there are really people this dumb? that vote? that drive? that breed more dummies? God help us to find them and sterilize them before it’s too late and there is irreparable damage to the gene pool.


[“Average American woman weighs 170 pounds”] Here, this cream should help.

Wearing a mask alone in your car is the same as being alone in your bed wearing a condom.


Essential apps for brewing your own beer. Brewing comes with some math homework—but there are apps for that. Link

[Space, The Final Frontier] First images from Nasa’s James Webb space telescope reveal ancient galaxies. The pictures show elements of the universe as they were 13bn years ago, reshaping our understanding of the cosmos. Link
Reading and watching the news makes one want to buy a big boat and hide in some hidden cove in the South Pacific far away from the maddening crowd! It might only take one nut case to push a red button to start WW3 and end paradise as we know it
[Covid Bracelets] Hong Kong to electronically tag Covid patients as it adopts China’s health code system. Those in home isolation will be forced to wear a bracelet tracking their movements as territory introduces China-style QR code system. Link


If she has this as a knife rack don’t look back, just run!

The Coconut Telegraph was published at 11am this morning. (Editor: It would have been published at 8:30 but I forgot to hit the publish button.)