Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
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|[Don’t Feed The Chickens] “It’s become such an issue that you cannot walk up my stairs or touch the handrails without having to step in feces or put your hand in it. So it’s a health issue,” she said. I saw a dude at BPK Winn Dixie tossing out corn and left a small pile of dried cracked corn when he left. Link|
|[Getting Soft] I’ve just about had it with this hand washing to the extreme. I did a lot of work with my hands, they used to be rugged. Now their soft and feel like a babies behind.|
The wife asked me who were the dumbest people on earth. It took thirty minutes for her to put on her make-up before she realized it was the people in the mirrors!
|The horrors of getting old are not aches and pains, but the common cold that makes you sneeze from both ends. Woosh!|
Someone invented a wristwatch with a camera, but it made people seasick watching the video on computers.
|[Wanted to Rent] I am trying to find housing for an employee. He is a sweet, quite kid here with his wife, and has worked for me for multiple seasons. We are really looking forward to working with him again this season. I am asking that you please consider this couple. I will even accept full responsibility for any incidentals. They do have two dogs. They are very tame. I can’t stress enough how lovely these kids are and I really think they will take great care of your home while staying there. My employee is very handy and I bet would help you with little fixes around the property. I’m willing to paint the interior for you after they leave. I own a paint company so, that won’t be a problem. We have a budget and would like either a place to park/live out of his RV, or a small efficiency. Big Pine is his preference however, any of the lower keys or even Marathon would do. I am looking forward to your response. Thank you for your consideration. firstname.lastname@example.org|
|[“Over the air antennas”] First, all television stations are now digital. Old antennas will never work. I purchased an HD antenna claimed to work at 300 miles. That claim is total nonsense. I am in Stock Island and can get nothing from Miami even with the antenna up over 25 ft. Nothing from Cuba either, though Cuba is probably still analog, I would guess. I do not think the 28 miles will make any difference. The Keys Information Station WCAY is actually broadcast in HD over the air on digital channel 36.1 and that is the only channel I can get. I am probably one of the very few people doing that. Their content is rather repetitive. I think they could be a good news outlet in an emergency assuming they have power.|
|[Getting “Egged”] f you are driving at night and eggs are thrown at your windshield, do not stop to check your car, do not operate the wipers and do not spray any water because eggs mixed with water become milky, and block your vision up to 92.5%, and you are then forced to stop beside the road and become a victim of these criminals.|
[Christmas Music] Saturday, December 11th the Keys Chamber Orchestra will be performing Christmas music and carols at the Big Pine Flea Market from 11-1. Stop by, listen, sing along and get into the holiday spirit!
|Marriage life was hell until I had my friend the bartender get his brother the doctor to write a test results report about my family’s DNA tree. Now it’s all peace and quiet. I wonder what that report said before the wife lost it?|
|Now that prostitution is legal[?], all the pimps are gone and replaced by divorce lawyers. Do they take American Express?|
Tsunami. T is silent
Honest. H is silent
Psychology. P is silent
Knife. K is silent
Wife. Husband is silent
|[“Over-the-air antennas”] There is nothing in or around BP or Key West that will get local channels from the mainland. I’ve tried for years. Even with a tall mast you can only get static. Years ago, I could get spotty VHF or UHF over the air with a tall mast. I don’t know if they even have UHF any longer. It was mostly static anyway.
A crummy alternative is to buy a Samsung TV. It comes with its own channel –TV Plus — and the free service comes with the TV—no subscription. No Comcast or Dish needed. All you need is an internet connection to run your wireless Samsung TV. TV Plus does have commercials.
|[Buzz Killer] Can anyone recommend a device for grounding my solid state EF Delta power station (1200 Watt li-ion battery pack)? It is not grounded and when I plug in the solid state Fender Mustang 100 amplifier the buzz it too terrible. There must be some device I can place between the lithium-ion power station and the amp to kill the buzz. I tried a ground-loop device but that didn’t work.|
|Oh God. Kyle Rittenhouse, aka “killer Kyle” is now a right-wing folk hero. How dare he go after the US President in the defense of his mayhem. Hopefully this malcontent fades from our history books, but fast! He would not last one week as a grunt in the Army. “Little boy with a big gun”. Let’s not let some nutball go crazy on our USA neighbors ever again|
|Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving dinner. It’s going to save you money on Christmas gifts.
Follow me for more holiday tips.
Rounding the curve Westbound into Big Pine Key is the new St Peter’s Church.
|[Covid] Where is the sanity on this planet? Half the world rejects the dangers of this plague, and the other half thinks it is all fake. People are dying all over the place, but the greedy heads of state and marketing want the retail stores reopened to make money! Why not just charge everyone a fee to live on this rock and be done with it? Oh, that’s right, it’s call taxes!|
|[“Religious nuts”] Where is the poster finding all these “religious nuts” in the Keys? Is he talking about people who attend church?|
[Refrigerator Art] I wonder how many people that spent loads more money than they needed to get stainless steel appliances only to get them home and put magnetic what-evers on them. Stainless steel is not magnetic, magnets won’t stick. You been had
|[Shipping] Video on the complexities, and costs of shipping. The system is overloaded. If you want to learn how, and why many other countries can sell goods here cheaper than we can make or produce them, watch this video. It really is an eye opener. Video|
|[Covid] Here lies the body of Jonathan White Who died believing that he was right.
Here lies the body of Theodore Trask Who died refusing to wear a mask.
Here lies the body of Warren Dean Who died refusing to quarantine.
Here lies the body of Timothy Cox Who died believing the lies of Fox.
Here lies the body of Winifred Scott Who died refusing to get the shot.
Here lies the body of Mortimer Glick Who died believing he’d never get sick.
Here lies the body of Rosa Ramona Who died believing there is no corona.
Here lies the body of Jessica Cyrus Who died denying she’d get the virus.
Here lies the body of Anthony Stokes Who believed the virus was all a hoax.
Here lies the body of Jacqueline Slater Who died while using the ventilator.
Here lies the body of Artemus Leach Who died injecting himself with bleach.
Here lies the body of Lee Benetictin Who died relying on Ivormectin.
Here lie the bodies of Dotty and Art Who refused to remain six feet apart.