2022 June

Friday, June 23, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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Fort Myers’s first cattleman, Jalee Summerlin, bartered the twenty slaves of his inheritance for his first herd of six thousand head in the 1840s. He was a veteran of the Seminole Wars and a pioneer cattleman on the Alachua Prairie, moving huge herds with his cowboys and a grub wagon all the way from the St. Johns River.
[Friday Joke] A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born? The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via email with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little pop-up appeared that said: ‘You’ve got male!’
[“Cowards at Uvalde, Texas”] There is only one reason you made such a stupid post to say what you think happened, but have no idea what did happen, you were not there! This goes to show what the media does to inform the un-informable. They spins facts. I would love to see you run into a place where some psycho is shooting and make them a deal.
Iguana hunter kills giant invasive lizards in Florida. Most green iguanas Kimmel shoots are two- to four-feet long, and his biggest to date is a massive 6-footer that weighed 18 pounds. Kimmel shot that lizard last year on a golf course and has it mounted. He brings the mounted lizard with him when conducting environmental education sessions at schools, fairs, and sportsmen’s gatherings. Link
What did Key West look like 25 years ago? These pictures show what happened on the street. I grew up in kw when it was still a Navy town, but you couldn’t drag me there now. Link


[“Identify dogwood by its bark”] I just got it! Ha ha ha.

Regarding TV and “population representation”. Yes it’s skewed. A reasonable balance has been lost. Example: we’ve had Netflix for a long time but recently cancelled our subscription. Why? They kept raising prices and providing content that was more propaganda and virtue signaling rather than entertainment. So we grabbed our wallets and walked away
[Vocation] If kids knew what they wanted to be at age eight, the world would be filled with cowboys and princesses. I wanted to be a pirate. Thank God nobody took me seriously and scheduled me for eye removal and peg leg surgery.  ~Bill Maher
[“Cowards at Uvalde, Texas”] Wow, someone was upset! I’m sure most of the cops weren’t cowards. It’s those in charge who are guilty of cowardice.

Hope everyone will be at the Big Pine book club meeting on Saturday at the library at 10am.  The book is The Widow Clicquot by Tilar J. Mazzeo.
[Friday Joke] Late one afternoon the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their secret base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane, only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!

Here’s what it’s like to drive on the moon. A GM simulator offers the chance to virtually experience what astronauts did for real decades ago—and may do again in the future. Link

Make Somebody Happy — Santana
[Redneck Ingenuity] Bubba got this old pontoon boat and turned his RV into a duplex. Once he’s finished it will be a great Mother-in-Law suite for his family trip to Big Pine Key this winter and will double his income as an Airbnb when the M-i-L leaves
Cats don’t get embarrassed. I think dogs do. I know they feel shame.


Fashion statement at Walmart that bastion of good taste and low prices..

Alexa ad disclaimer on TV:  “… not as fast as seen on commercial.”
[Sperm] The possibility of creating humans and animals without sperm and eggs. Whoa, sci fi here we come! Drug cocktail makes stem cells that could grow organisms from scratch. I think this falls under “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

[Hot Dog] Neighbors leap into action to save dog set on fire in Memphis. Link

 Its Summer. Wasn’t it winter just a few weeks ago? You people down here are weird with only 2 seasons.


[Implied Consent] After spending $160 on dinner, $50 on flowers, and $20 on chocolates she tells me she has a headache!

[Friday Joke] Me: You play any dangerous sports?
Friend: I sometimes disagree with my wife.