Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
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|[Veteran or Not] I served almost seven years in the National Guard 50 years ago, but am not a veteran. As I understood it at the time, a soldier had to serve 6 months active duty to be a veteran. My whole “rotation” was discharged from active duty (boot camp) two days short of six months-intentionally, so we could not derive any veteran’s benefits. I get no benefits for my service, not even a veteran’s discount at the store. Has this changed in the last half century?
|[Quiz] Think you’re a Florida Keys expert? Test your knowledge with our Overseas Highway quiz. Those scoring below 60% will have to leave the Keys. Quiz
|[Revisionist History] The new Netflix move The Harder They Fall has an all black cast except for the bad guys who are all white. There was another movie where the King had a Black court minister and the Queen had Black ladies in waiting, another attempt at revisionist history. Are we supposed to forget that Black people were considered property like a horse is? We rile when other countries change their history books, but we think it’s okay if we do it because our intentions are honorable. Please don’t change history and please start teaching all history from different perspectives, not only from white people’s perspective.
|Sea Monster. More bones, this time in boxes, turned up in cargo salvaged from the wreck of the ship Newark, lost on Pickles Reef in 1845. But they were not human bones, and they did not resemble the bones of any known animal. The mystery was ﬁnally solved by a communication from the frantic owner of the bones, Dr. Albert C. Koch, a famed paleontologist. He explained that they were the fossilized remains of a prehistoric sea monster that he had discovered during a dig in Alabama and had named “Hydrarchos.” When alive, the Hydrarchos was over 140 feet long and 30 feet in circumference. Dr. Koch was concerned that the bones would be discarded or that he would have to pay a large salvage award he could not afford. His fears were eased when he learned that the bones were intact; that Judge Marvin had ruled that the bones had no monetary value but were of great value to the scientiﬁc world; and that the wreckers had withdrawn any claim for salvage on them. Link
[Used Movie Sets] The new movie The Harder They Fall used the same church as Alec Baldwin’s movie Rust. There are two churches in the movie and one of them is the Rust church. They also used the sets from other Western movies. One in particular is the set where three times a day stuntmen reenact a gunfight and brawl for tourists. Stupid movie.
|[Off The Deep End] Watching the events regarding the Rittenhouse shooting in Wisconsin. You have to be kidding! A person shows up to a demonstration in a US city, carrying a loaded AR15 type weapon, and fires upon others, and now is trying to claim it’s self-defense?
I’m all for the 2nd Amendment, but it was not written for these crazies to bring anarchy.
Additionally, it’s “All Lives Matter”, not a subgroup, or minority, or even a majority. This world’s going off the deep end.
[Rip-Off Nation] Not only are prices doubling, but products are shrinking. I bought this formally 8 ounce yogurt, that is now 5.3 ounces, and when I opened it, it was a third empty! I haven’t stirred it, this is how it was.
|[“The House approved a $1.85 trillion infrastructure package”] Deer Ed, When you post a Newsmax[?] article it should be on the politics page. (Ed: That post was not political. Nor was it in any way opinion. It was fact. It was factual news. A real big deal for our country. I’m sorry you are disappointed that the country is moving forward so fast. Look at it as, now we can work on our other problems.)
[Fueling Up] It was inevitable, instead of carrying a gas can, electric vehicle owners carry a generator. Are we moving forward or backward?
|[Friday Joke] A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance, they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
Poisonwood on Big Pine Key. The sap is like poison ivy.
|[A Thought To Remember] Marx said, “Remove one freedom per generation and soon you will have no freedom and no one would have noticed.
Honoring Veterans in Marathon. Link
|[Cruise Ships] How to survive a cruise without throwing !@#$%^ overboard! Link
[Small Dongs] All I can say is that you have to have big balls to come out in public and say you have a small Johnson. Link
|[Veterans] To all you folks in America, please remember that whether a veteran carries a gun or a pencil, without them there is no me, or you. Be grateful.
|[Dade County’s Birth] As a further step to freeing himself from having to deal with his enemies—the merchants, lawyers, and political leaders of Key West— Jacob Housman in 1835 submitted a petition to the Territorial Legislative Council asking that Monroe County be split into two counties with the boundary line at Bahia Honda. His petition was granted, and the new county, named Dade, included all the middle and upper Keys as well as a large section of the mainland. Indian Key was made the temporary county seat, and Housman built a courthouse to house the county judge, who also happened to be his personal attorney. But just when everything seemed to be going Housman’s way, the Seminole Indians, in December 1835, went on the Warpath, and Housman’s empire began to disintegrate. Almost immediately, settlers deserted the southern main- land and Key Vaca. With their departure, business at the store on Indian Key fell off precipitously.
|[Coconuts] Did you know that there is no tool made for picking up coconuts. The grabbers used to pick stuff off of a shelf doesn’t work. Coconuts are too heavy, and they are unbalanced so when you try to pick them up with a grabber they spin right off.
Danny Kaye — I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts
|[Friday Joke] Wife: Can you stop yawning when I talk to you?
Husband: I’m not yawning, I’m trying to say something!