2022 August

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

Submit a post  Contact Us
[Bill Lechner] I have been a member of Moose International for a long time, and for the last 20 or so years, Big Pine Moose Lodge. The Moose is a great organization with community and charity at its core. The reason for this opine is to enlighten the people of Big Pine that a board runs the Moose. They are elected and they come and go, but there is one person that keeps the Moose running honestly and smoothly. He is the administrator (or manager, I’m not sure of his exact title). He is responsible for the day-to-day operations and all the financial transactions. That man is Bill Lechner, he rarely gets recognition or accolades, but he deserves the respect and admiration of all the Big Pine Moose members. Good work Bill, keep up the great work!
[“Mudslinging post”] Friday’s poster talks about mudslinging in the Mooney v Lopez political contest. That poster’s post was mudslinging and unsubstantiated accusations throughout. “he is a good role model for criminal behavior” “swamp monster” “has been a predator his whole life” “slanderous mailouts and television commercials” “abusive bullying lying spendthrift”.
She left little room for substance for all her mudslinging. I guess the poster thinks it is okay for her to slander but it’s wrong for others to slander.

Great white shark sightings are up in the US, which is kind of good news. Great white sharks are protected by US laws. That’s helping the predators’ numbers float higher. Link

[“Winning the Lottery”] He’s right to live in fear. With a billion dollars I would buy a house with a lot of land and a helicopter pad or airstrip, install electronic security, hire guards, and a secretary to keep it all organized and keep everyone away from you, especially all your new friends and long lost family.

[The Wonder Years] The wife and I have entered our wonder years.
We wonder where we parked the car.
We wonder where we left our phones.
We wonder where our glasses are.
We wonder why we came into a room.
Funny, though, I always know where my drink is. Priorities, I guess.
[Terrible Driver] We have all been there. Driving down the highway, following a vehicle for countless miles in no passing zone, that vehicle going 10 mph under the posted speed limit. Finally, opportunity! I pass and take a gander at the driver causing the mess. Driver, with gripped hands, strategically placed at the 10 and 2 o’clock position, with a pampered pooch, hair in a ribbon, sitting on their lap.
Can a driver re-test request be sent to the authorities?

Don’t you think these Italian condoms look a little strange?

[Exploring Sex in Ancient Egypt] People often have the strange idea that people in the “olden days” were much more conservative when it came to sex than they are today. However, if modern history tells us anything it is that people still have weird hang-ups when it comes to sex. Link

[Chug] Another boatful of Cubans landed on Keys shore. We spotted this on Sandspur Beach at 1:30PM 7/31/2022. I’m not sure if there was any official action prior to or after landing.

What engineers learned about diving injuries by throwing dummies into a pool. Link
[Politically Correct Nativity] To depict the new American sentiment, I removed all the Jews, Arabs, Africans and immigrants from the nativity scene. All that’s left are sheep, led by an ass. Seems about right.
[Give Blood] Here’s a list of blood drives on BPK in August. Donors receive a One Blood Southernmost Donor Local Art T-Shirt, a $20 eGift card, and a Wellness Checkup. To schedule an appointment, go to and enter your zip code and the from and to dates.  Thank you for donating. Thursday, August 4 – Bealls BPK – 12 pm – 5 pm. Thursday, August 11 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 12 pm-5 pm. Thursday, August 18 – Berkshire Hathaway Keys Real Estate BPK 12:30 pm-5:30 pm. Sunday, August 21 – Keys Vineyard Church BPK – 8:30 am – 12:30 pm. Thursday, August 25 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 10 am – 3 pm. Monday, August 29 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 12 pm – 5:00 pm

[Buck or Stag] What’s the difference between a buck or a stag? Aren’t they both deer?

[How Many Politicians Are There In The US] Of these, 535 are Federal politicians, 18,749 are State Politicians, and 500,396 are local politicians. Note that the state data is slightly lower than the totals, as we do not include territories in the table. We break this down further by each level. Link

[Asian “Chopped”] Little Asian boy demonstrates how to cook the fried rice. Video

Venice Vacation Travel Guide. Like crowds, go to Venice. This tour mostly sans crowds. Video Tour


Toilets at a garage. If they had a third stall for transgender folks, the symbol could be a wingnut.

Sable Island’s famous wild horses are at the heart of a conservation controversy. They’ve roamed free for hundreds of years, but is that freedom harming the ecosystem they call home? Link
Your whole life on your finger nail. This tiny 2 Terabyte SD card can hold your entire life’s record. Everything you’ve ever written. Everything you’ve ever read. Every song you’ve ever listened to. Everything on this tiny card. Link


What can brown do for you?”  ~UPS

[For Sale White Privilege Card] It’s a little over 70 years old, but in like new condition.  It has never been used. I want to sell it because it’s not done me any good. No free college. No free food. No free health care. No free housing. No free anything. The truth is I had to work very hard while paying an incredible amount of taxes in order to carry those who chose not to work. If you’re interested, I’ll accept cash but I prefer an even trade for a new or used Race Card which is more widely accepted and comes with unending benefits.


Tabloid paper from 1993. Back then, fake news was called tabloid news and anyone who believed the tabloids were labeled idiots.

[Book Club] We will meet on August 20th at the Big Pine Key Library. The book is The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles.  Call Theresa at 305-731-5532 to arrange to get a copy of the book.
Our book for September is Playing Nice by JP Delaney.  We will have copies available at the August meeting. Full Menu > Book Club

There are more Bambi’s this year than any I can remember. One of our deer had triplets! There are little ones running all over the island. Please be careful driving because they daydream and panic and spring straight up in the air when they finally do notice the cars. Boing?
[Can’t see latest CT?] The Coconut Telegraph was published at 9:12 am this morning. If you have trouble accessing the Coconut Telegraph on your phone, please hit the refresh icon in your computer’s browser or phone’s browser: In your phone’s browsers’ address bar >  type: > click the menu’s 4 bars or dots in the upper right > Click the refresh icon – an open circle with an arrow at one end.