2022 July

Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

Submit a post  Contact Us

[Crossing the Boot Key Bridge] Now that the drawbridge has been removed this stuntman jumped the Boot Key Bridge in a rebuilt Subaru.  Video

Transgender woman transferred from women’s only prison after impregnating 2 inmates. You just cannot make this stuff up. Link

Why woodpeckers actually don’t need shock-absorbing skulls to headbang. These birds have incredible hammering power but don’t seem to get concussions or migraines. How? Link

[Common Sense] Do flat earthers believe in climate change? Is there an overlap in science denial? I looked and found: Just because you reject one fact with a staggering amount of common sense and scientific evidence behind it doesn’t mean you have to reject all of them – and so it is that Flat Earthers officially accept human-caused climate change.
Thus, climate denialists have less common sense than flat earthers.

Hey kids! Here’s a little known fun fact. In many parts of Mexico our own “Deer Ed” has become a very popular cult figure for unknown reasons. And statues of him can be found in many locations, this one is over a 100 feet tall.

Vegan food ain’t that bad once you add meat and cheese to it.
[“Silent electric bicycles responsible”] According to my armchair lawbook printed by Frito Lay and that I received at armchair lawyer school my highly educated answer would be maybe yes/maybe no. Maybe if the culprit spilled hot coffee on you from Mickey Dees it would swing the jury.


[Owens-Corning Fiberglass] Somewhere a ceiling is missing its insulation.

[Our Bodies] Why does anyone have a right to tell another person what to do with their body? If a person wants to have an abortion or get sterilized, it is their business not anyone else’s! Too many righteous people on this planet sticking their noses where they have no business.
The planet is burning up! Heat wave kills more than 1,100 people in Spain and Portugal. Portugal’s capital city Lisbon hit 111.2°F on Saturday, its hottest temperature ever recorded. Link
Nine phrases woman use. Video


Belgium swimming pool.

[“Key Deer petting zoo.”] Our local Refuge should have all the authority to do what’s best for the refuge based on their hands-on observations and living among the deer. All the money needed to support the refuge won’t have to come from Washington. Washington could only supplement the refuge if revenues fell. People will willingly pay for the refuge in the form of fees. They’ll pay $5 for a thimbleful of Purina Antler Chow to hand feed the gentle deer. They’ll pay for something unique. So, what if they associate humans with food? We all feed them anyway. Always have. The local refuge should have total control of the budget knowing they can maintain the refuge and no longer rely on direction from Washington scholars who are clueless about the key deer except from what they get from books and videos and maybe a short vacation in the Fabulous Florida Keys where they got to see a live little deer. How about having a few birds and maybe a raccoon or two. A black snake would be cool. There’s always admission to charge.

[Burning Man] Spanish man filmed escaping wildfire and later treated for serious burns. Man in 50s emerges from blaze with clothes burned to rags and flames flickering around him. This is awful but never before seen. Video

[Legal Pot] With the laws now allowing pot for pain and other uses, how does this effect police sniffer dogs? Does it drive them nuts or what?

[New Vaccine] Meningococcal disease can cause meningitis (infection of the lining of the brain and spinal cord) and infections of the blood. Even when it is treated, meningococcal disease kills 10 to 15 infected people out of 100. And of those who survive, about 10 to 20 out of every 100 will suffer disabilities such as hearing loss, brain damage, kidney damage, loss of limbs, nervous system problems, or severe scars from skin grafts. The Menactra vaccine can help protect against most types of meningococcal disease. To set up an appointment, Please call Cynthia Wright 305-293-7500


[Life Hacks] Shower curtain rings as hangers for tank tops?  Good idea. Link

The only reason gold, silver, diamonds and other trinkets are valuable, is to trade them for water, food, clothing, shelter and arms if the time comes.

[“Surgery addicted model”]  There are so many things that are wrong with that picture. Besides, are they both females?

[Someone Needs a Pill] I figured out why most southerners are commie left wingers. It is because they are fatherless lazy worthless retards.


Actors standing next to their stunt doubles.


[Welded Hub] Just got the boat trailer fixed, let’s go! Hope I don’t have to change a tire.

If man evolved from apes, how come there are still apes? ~Hershel Walker
[Psychiatric Help] The new suicide hotline is a much needed thing, but I don’t know if I’d use it. I suspect they will record every conversation for legal and training purposes. Then they’ll assure me that the tape will never go public. Ha. Everything eventually goes public. You might be dead by then, but everything goes public eventually. Also when you apply for a position, question number 10 asks: Have you ever been treated for mental problems. Poof! There goes the job.
Ceiling fans should 7’ above the floor. Any lower chops off heads of tall people. Any higher and the fan loses its effect on the hottest of days. Don’t ever dance on furniture. My friend’s ear got chopped off by a fan when he was dancing on the bar in Key West’s old Compass Rose. It had metal blades. Wood blades usually just knock you out.
[“Old fashioned operating systems”] It the complainer would update his operating system he wouldn’t be having the trouble he complains about. That is why they update OS, so there’s less trouble. My computer troubles ended as soon as I switched to Windows 8 some years ago and I haven’t had any OS-related problems in years. I’m now running Windows 11. It is the best yet. As far as the OneDrive cloud, it’s the best and safest way to access and restore your files. Never again lose another file when you rely on cloud storage. Cloud storage companies have multiple servers around the world.

[Sailors Earrings] traveled the world and seldom had any ‘roots’ or money. They only had to have enough gold to pay for their burial, so they would buy a gold earring and wear it. That’s how the custom of earrings for sailors came to be.

The Coconut Telegraph was published at 8:27am this morning. If you have trouble accessing the Coconut Telegraph on your phone, please hit the refresh icon.