2022 March

Friday, March 18, 2022

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Doctor Who Wisdom] You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.
[Friday Joke] A woman went into the pharmacy and calmly said to the pharmacist “’I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
“I need it to poison my husband.”
“I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! They’ll throw both of us in jail! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!”
The woman reached into her purse and pulled out pictures of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looked at the pictures, paused a moment, and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

[Book Review] Any readers out there want a killer book. The Charm School, by Nelson DeMille. Soviets trained by US POWs to learn the American way, and infiltrate USA society. You will not put this book down. It’s from the 80’s, but DeMille is always good.

[Crimea] How come we didn’t make a stink when Putin grabbed Crimea in 2014? I don’t really remember Europe protesting as much as now.
Married too long? I look forward to watching BBC news every day to try and hold on to a little reality. Would you know my spouse starts yapping during the only thing I set aside 5 or 10 minutes a day for.
[Hacker Extortion] How can you claim to be a mature man if u wank off as if you are a teenage boy? If cannot handle your habit to jerk off, then probably you need some help. I do not get how ur life continues, if even I’m embarrassed thinking of your dirty things. I have always thought that I am rarely surprised, but u did it. I am not going to treat u, but I may recommend you to secure your device, after all it is really easy to connect to it. It’s rare that someone can that simply get access to a webcam and film a video, but in your situation it turned out to be very simple. In addition to it, I have got all your contacts, and if I don’t receive what I want, everybody will watch ur shame on video in seventy four h. I guess, there’s nothing to interpret, negotiations will fail. I wait, it is not worth texting me.

[Workmanship] I had a stairway covered in carpet. It was amazing watching the installers measure, cut it to size, then carry it inside and install it for a perfect fit. It’s an art and talent.

[How Dollars Became Worthless] Nixon removes the dollar from the gold standard. Video (one hour video)
[Country Band] Midland is a very good band they started with “Drinkin Problem”. I met these guys and when I did (3 times!) told em about the Coconut Telegraph because you put up their song or website and they were very thankful back in 2015. Really nice guys and they also make tequila.

Are there Midland fans down yonder? The lead singer = most beautiful man in the world & he was just in the Tammy Faye Baker movie. Link

[Friday Joke] My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?” I thought to myself, That’s a pretty strange way to start off a conversation?
[Getting Work Done in the Keys] I’ve been waiting over 2 months for flooring to be installed. It was supposed to be Tuesday between 8-10 am. They called at 9:30 am, to cancel: their truck broke down.
They then say Thursday 12-2pm. We ask if either they could come early morning or late afternoon. Put me on hold to check with supervisor. This goes back and forth put on hold with supervisor. Finally, I ask to just speak to a supervisor, he’s busy on the phone. We have screwed up society.
[Friday Irony] If the current power grid can’t handle a night of 20 degrees temperatures without rolling blackouts, how are we going to plug 100 million electric cars up at night?
Are there any countries that tax their citizens and send some of it to Americans?
Imagine, if you will, a world where every tweet and meme must be fact checked, with one exception…. a ballot.
How to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s exactly how gun control works.
Can we still order black coffee?
Are brownies being taken off the shelf?
Is White Castle changing its name?
I’m sure Cracker Barrel is screwed.
Can we still play Chinese checkers?
Is that season still called Indian summer?
No more Italian sausages?
“Payday” candy bar is changing its name because it’s offensive to those who don’t work.
How far do you want to go with this foolishness?
[Friday Golf Jokes] -One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling  ball.
-A little girl was at her first golf lesson when she asked an interesting question: “is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor.  “p-u-t-t is correct,” he replied. “put means to place a thing where you want it. putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”
– Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
– I found out that all the important lessons of life are contained in the three rules for achieving a perfect golf swing: 1. keep your head down.  2. follow through. 3. be born with money.
[Business vs Violence] When the rich rob the poor, it’s called business. When the poor fight back, it’s called violence.  ~Mark Twain

[USCG Asleep] Cubans fleeing to US on makeshift rafts, now Haitians traveling more than 4 times that distance making it to US shores? How the heck can this be happening?

[How the Wealthiest Avoid Income Tax] In 2007, Jeff Bezos, then a multibillionaire and now the world’s richest man, did not pay a penny in federal income taxes. He achieved the feat again in 2011. In 2018, Tesla founder Elon Musk, the second-richest person in the world, also paid no federal income taxes. Link
[Haitians] Who believes that 6 different boats overcrowded with Haitians made it to the Keys all the way from Haiti this past week in rough seas? Who believes the boats were lowered from a freighter just off shore? Who believes our government surveillance knew nothing of this invasion? Smuggling operations are on the rise in South Florida, federal agents say, with the latest suspected incident involving about 140 Haitian nationals who came ashore in Summerland Key on Monday morning. Video


Putin: “It’s raining.”
Me: “No it’s not.”
Putin: “Putin, the Red, knows rain dear.”

[Left-wing Commie Rap Sheet] I cannot believe the posts in this left-wing commie rap sheet. You people see nothing of reality or logic, just lefty BS and anti-everything.

[Sexy Food] Doctor said I should watch my diet. I’ve been watching this plate of food for over an hour and am starting to see “things.”

I really want to know what a “holy roller” is. (Editor: I think it is a term used to disparage someone’s practicing religious beliefs in a childish fashion.)
We hope to see everyone on Saturday for Book Lovers Book Club. March’s book is A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. (What timing!)
Good news.  Our April book, West With Giraffes by Lynda Rutledge, is available for pickup at the Big Pine Library. ~Carol Borland  Full Menu > Ongoing Events > Book Club
[Earthquake] Two dead after Japan hit by tremor. A powerful earthquake hit north-east Japan on Wednesday night, temporarily cutting power to two million homes.

The magnitude 7.3 tremor struck the same region where a major earthquake triggered the Fukushima nuclear disaster 11 years ago. Two people died and at least 90 were injured. In some areas it was too forceful for people to stand, and buildings rattled in the capital Tokyo. Link

Why the North American monsoon is unlike any other. Researchers find that the jet stream and the mountains help feed the seasonal rainfall in the American Southwest. Link
The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club holds our “SHOW & SHINE” this Sunday March 20th from Noon to 3pm. This event is for the lovers of classic, custom, and street rod automobiles and trucks of all years and makes. If it’s cool and on wheels it will be here. We will have a People’s Choice Award as always. The fun event as always is at the Sugarloaf Lodge, on Sugarloaf Key. MM17. The Club’s sound system will provide 50’s and 60’s music. The restrooms will be open.
Bring the kids to enjoy these beautiful relics of the auto world. This is a free event. The Club is seeking new members for a full schedule shows events. Join Sunday and get the new shirt with annual membership only $25.  For more information contact Dick Moody 305-942-1758
[Pitching Decks US NAVY] Carrier landings go on weather it’s on rough seas or calm. Barf bags optional. Video