Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
|Submit a post Contact Us
|[Tourons] I was diving in the shallows off Key West and lo and behold a posse of jet ski tourists (some were wearing fedoras) came too close. A few came within 15 feet! My dive flag was prominently displayed. Do I need to display an international white/blue flag for them to take notice and abide by the law?
|I can’t wait for election stumping to be over.
Turn your clock back Sunday at 2am or you’ll be early for church.
|[Friday Joke] An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the urologist as a precaution? When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, “I’m going to check your prostate, but this new procedure is different from what you are used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 99′.
The old guy obeys and says “99”.
The doctor says, “Great”, now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, ’99”.
Again, the old guy says, ’99’.”
The doctor said, “Very good” Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I’m going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I’m going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say ‘99′. The old guy begins, “One… two…three…four…
|[Respect and Honor] About six miles from Maastricht, in the Netherlands, lie buried 8,301 American soldiers who died in Operation Market Garden in the battles to liberate Holland in the fall and winter of 1944. Every one of the men buried in the cemetery, as well as those in the Canadian and British military cemeteries, has been adopted by a Dutch family who mind the grave, decorate it, and keep alive the memory of the soldier who liberated Holland that they have adopted. It is even the custom to keep a portrait of “their” soldier in a place of honor in their home. Video
[Harris School in Key West] I went there in grade school. I remember being in sixth grade when President Kennedy was shot. That was long before social media, a simpler, more respectful time.
|[Rumors of War] The world is heading to war. There is unrest everywhere.
Dion – The Wanderer (1961). Look how nicely people dressed in the 60s. How about Dion’s triangle tie. The first one I ever saw was worn by Bill Haley.
|The AARP November activities calendar is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events > AARP
|Fantast Fest was a bust to me and my family because we are from NYC and expected a wild and crazy party town, not a Big Brother controlled can-not-do-this-or-that turn off! What happened to the good old Key West I knew in the 1960’s and 1970’s? Seems you were overtaken by greed and plastic people instead of real world party goers.
This is the remnants of the Seahorse trailer park on Big Pine. The many columns look like they’re building a new Parthenon.
|[Space] Here’s what the Earth’s magnetic field would sound like if we could hear it. Listen to magnetic signals battle with a solar storm. Audio
|[Radiation Leak] There has been a flurry of headlines this summer about a “nuclear coffin” leaking radioactive waste into the Pacific Ocean. The coffin—a bomb crater filled with radioactive soil on a tiny island in the Marshall Islands—sits under a 350-foot-wide concrete lid known as Runit Dome. It’s arguably the region’s most visible scar from a series of U.S. nuclear weapons tests that took place off Bikini and Enewetak Atolls between 1946 and 1958. Link
|[Dead Doctor] 38-year-old cardiac doctor died suddenly at the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Heart and Vascular Center. You’d think that a hospital specializing in hear medicine could have saved her! Link
New Cairo City is being built for rich people to get away from the old Cairo slums and congestion in Egypt. The poor people are barely aware of this major endevor.
|[Blood Drives] Thursday, November 10 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 11:00 am – 5:00 pm
Wednesday, November 16 – Venture Out Cudjoe Key – 9:00 am – 2:00 pm
Wednesday, November 16 – Berkshire Hathaway Keys Real Estate on BPK – 12:30 pm – 5:30 pm
Thursday, November 17 – Venture Out Cudjoe Key – 9:00 am – 2:00 pm
Monday, November 21 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center – 9:30 am – 5:30 pm
|[Amazon Prime] Changes to your Prime benefit. The largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts • Exclusive podcasts • More ad-free music, increasing from 2 million to over 100 million songs in shuffle mode • All-Access Playlists, where you can pick and play any song
Perhaps the two most honest men of their generation.
|[Captain Doom and Gloom] Block busters. It is a way to get land, to tear down the surrounding real estate values so developers can grab the land or islands cheap to build junk houses for junk people, and drive out the locals. This works on the simple principle that all people have their price and care nothing for neighbors. When some company posts a building permit, do deep research on it or you can lose everything
|[Captain Doom and Gloom’s Brother] If the prices get any worse in the Keys for food and supplies, even the tourists will stop coming. Then what, the builders will destroy these islands with hotels and condos like they do in every great place! Burn the bridges!
|[Captain Doom and Gloom First Cousin] It is amazing how sick society is when the most important people are the entertainers, sports figures, politicos, criminals, war heroes and other useless food wasters. The most important are considered low-lifes, like farmers, truck drivers, factory workers, maintenance personal and teachers. Wake up world!
|[Captain Doom and Gloom’s 2d Cousin-once Removed] You can tell when an area is dying and the people don’t come there to party anymore. Key West is dead. The left righteous assholes ruined the perfect party town because they could not get any! This happened to Atlantic City, LA, Baltimore, New Orleans and any other place We the People had freedom and good times! The mutants take over under the guise of some sort of false dignity and high taxes to drive out the party people! You better believe this sucks!.
|[Pipe wrench on Bumper] This was one of the best laughs in years! I followed this guy home for three blocks to his house to tell him he was about to lose a pipe wrench that was on his bumper. He told me you’re going to hate me for this and went and kicked it! It had been welded on his bumper and explained to me that it took care of all the 65 mile an hour tailgaters! I busted out laughing and ask for a picture.
|In 2011 Steve Jobs died at the age of 56 from pancreatic cancer, leaving a fortune of 7 billion dollars. These are some of his last words (and some aren’t). Link
|This 5th grader figured it out. Why can’t we? Video
[Spam] I wish there was a way to send thousands of spam to those unknown idiots that send them to us.
|Tiger sharks helped scientists map a vast underwater meadow in the Bahamas. Link
No bbq sauce on mine please. Hurry up, I’m starving and I have to pee!
|[Mount Trashmore] In light of the disaster on Runit island which is seeping radioactive waste, anyone care to ask about Mount Trashmore in Key West?
Testing/monitoring it was stopped many years ago, there was never a liner placed underneath before garbage was dumped. Where’s the liquid going? Remember “Love Canal?”
I hate watching porn with subtitles turned on.
|[Empty Promises] Has anyone noticed that the candidates cite inflation and gas price as their main gripe, but no one has said just what they’ll do to fix it. No one from either party has offered solutions. One thinks they all think what is more important than inflation and gas prices is insulting their opponents.
[Free Work Stand] Located at the Oasis Nail Shop in Marathon, next to Bealls. (305) 902-7746, Judy for any questions
|Big Oil is making record profits while the world burns. Link
[Blame Game] It was him!
|[Friday Joke] Four men go golfing. During the 4th hole the following conversation took place:
First Guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will have the interior of the house completely painted by next weekend.”
Second Guy: “That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would get a contractor to build a new deck for the pool next week.”
Third Guy: “Man, you both got off cheap! I had to promise my wife that I would have the kitchen remodeled for her.” They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him: “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?”
Fourth Guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a nudge and say, ‘Golf Course or sex? and she says, “You should wear your sweater”.
|The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 11/4/22 at 9:42 am
GET THE LATEST WEBPAGE by refreshing your cellphone’s browser. Or if on a laptop just refresh your browser.
1. Open bigpinekey.com on your cellphone.
2. Touch the menu icon in the upper right.
3. Touch the refresh circle (open circle with an arrow on one end).
That’s it. The Coconut Telegraph is published Tuesdays and Fridays